I have a friend overseas and we usually talk during the weekends and exchange packages during holidays, birthdays, etc.

We've known each other for about 5 years and I feel pretty close to her.

Yesterday, I received a package from her, and it had a mug that was dirty and even had a fingernail in it.

I mentioned this to her (thinking that maybe the store she bought it from was unkept, etc), but my mentioning it to her didn't come out right. She tried to joke and say that she bites her fingernails so she doesn't know how that one winded up in there. THen she adds, "that was a mug I had lying around the spare room and so I put it in there".


I know I sounded rude in bringing that up, but I found it more rude to give someone a used gift. This is someone whom I had always sent nice gifts to - like on her birthday, I gave her a nice HD camera.


I don't want to sound mean or ungrateful, but this is how I feel.

Then yesterday, she asked me to add a friend of hers on my Facebook - her friend happens to be a lesbian from the UK who is married to another female. I told her that I don't feel comfortable asking her (or anyone else who I don't know) for a friendship when I don't know them. That she may think I"m prying into her business (as she has photos of her lesbian wedding up), and I want to respect her privacy.

Then I joked, "Well maybe I can ask her for advice when I tell her that I want to marry you". (Of course I was joking as I'm straight).

Well my friend goes like, "eeeewwwwww". And I said, "What do you mean, ewww, am I that ugly"

And she just starts to laugh.

I don't know - I just wonder how rude she was, or if I was the one who was rude in joking about her friend and mentioning the fingernail in the used mug.

Are you kidding me? Let this go!

Exactly you're friends please be one.

I agree that if you add friends to Facebook you should know who they are.

Also do you know the gift was a used one? Also it's the thought that counts. Just say Thank You..

Exactly youre friends please be one.

I agree that if you add friends to facebook you should know who they are.

Also do you know the gift was a used one?? also its the thought that counts. Just say Thank You..



Stay friends...

The whole marriage and laughing thing is something that is more personal, some people take it seriously when its not meant to be and reverse.

On the other hand, when you give something as a gift, you should do so not expecting anything in return. If you don't like the gifts she sends, talk to her about that, however, by definition a gift is something given, not exchanged.

The lesbian friend, I don't add a lot of people my friends want me to add. If I don't know them, I don't bother.

The whole marriage and laughing thing is something that is more personal, some people take it seriously when its not meant to be and reverse.

On the other hand, when you give something as a gift, you should do so not expecting anything in return. If you don't like the gifts she sends, talk to her about that, however, by definition a gift is something given, not exchanged.

The lesbian friend, I don't add a lot of people my friends want me to add. If I don't know them, I don't bother.

I'm not on Facebook, but if I were I don't think I would add people I didn't know!