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View Full Version : Girlfriend dumped me shortly after her mum passed away


bobbymead1980
Jun 18, 2010, 06:40 AM
My girlfriend ended our relationship in April 2010, her mum passed away in February, we were together for 10 years and have a child of 7 years.. we live on the same street, but I moved in with her last August although it was not ideal because we were basically living in her bedroom. Apparently she discussed her feelings with her mum at christmas time, then her mum was taken ill and the subject obviously dropped, I helped pay for flowers and contributed to funeral costs and so forth, Then out of nothing in mid April I came home from work went on to my Facebook page and there it was my relationship status was blank.. I couldn`t believe it, I was so angry about it, then when I finally spoke to her face to face the dreaded words came out "im not in love with you" I can't sleep with you.. and so on, it felt like a knife was turning in my stomach, then to top things off she has now got a 2 bedroom flat on the next st which we were waiting for 4-5 years to get.I get on really well with her family and her dad was absolutely gutted about it and did not even talk to her for 2 weeks... her personality has just changed overnight, I don't know her anymore. Im still very much in love with her and went away and bought an engagengement ring and threw down £3000 in cash and said we could be furnishing OUR FLAT, I gave her a couple of days to think it over but she declined the offer. I don't know what to do, has her mums passing mentally messed up her head or is she actually being honest with me, I really don't know what to do anymore.. she seems to be moving on quickly whereas I can't I'm still coming to terms with it.. any advice peeps would be appreciated.

I wish
Jun 18, 2010, 09:02 AM
You might still want to hold out hope that she will eventually change her mind. But the longer you hold on to that notion, the longer it will take for you to recover.

If you haven't worked things out after 10 years, then getting back together won't make a difference. For her to break up with you after 10 years, it means that she must have been contemplating this decision for a while now and her mom's death was the last straw. So I wouldn't blame her mom's death for the break up.

It's not that her feelings changed overnight, it's that she's been thinking about it for a while, but just waiting for a trigger to let you know her decision.

pompomchick
Jun 18, 2010, 10:33 AM
Sad to hear about this Bobbymead1980. Sounds strange.But yeah,you got to let her go.I think she's already moved on.She might be just plain honest in saying she does not love you anymore. I know its hard,but you got to accept it and move on. :(
Take it easy..
Good luck.

Homegirl 50
Jun 18, 2010, 11:11 AM
Ten years is a long time to just be with somebody. Maybe her mom's death showed her that life is short and to be stagnant in a relationship is a waste of time. Maybe she is grieving.
The best thing for you to do is to respect her wishes and go about your life.

talaniman
Jun 18, 2010, 02:39 PM
Its hard after 10 years but now is the time to pick up the threads of your life, however long it takes, and start rebuilding.

Make sure you handle your business with your child, and try to get along, and be good parents, for that child.

Be patient, as it will probably be quite awhile until the shock wears off. Be a great dad.

positiveparent
Jun 18, 2010, 07:50 PM
Your g/f is in mourning and this is a fairly long process, I agree with others here, let her go.