PDA

View Full Version : I'm broken without her even though she has a boyfriend


umashi
Jun 16, 2010, 05:43 PM
(I'm a guy,for those who don't know that yet)alright so here's my problem,I've known this girl at school for years... probably since 2006,and in may of 2010 I started having feelings for her,I started trying to get her attention by hanging near her,then I started finding out more about her,I found out I had a lot more in common than I thought,then I started buying her favorite soda for her,then she started asking to borrow things.. which I let her do,but then a couple of weeks ago I said:hey are you single,she said yeah why and I said no reason just wandering,I was too nervous to say what I really meant to say,she asked to borrow a mic the other week,which I gave her to borrow,then on the 14th of June I finally had the guts to ask her if she would go out with me,you see the reason I didn't ask her before was because I had a fear of rejection,but now back to June 14th all right so here I am asking her if she will go out with me,it broke my heart what she was about to say next,all right these are her exact words:well um I'm actually getting married sorry,yeah um I'm actually getting married to this guy named:Zack. That same day I was supposed to get picked up by my mother&grandmother because I had to go to the gym,so I tried hiding that I was actually depressed about what happened,even till today they don't know that I'm depressed,anyway back to my story.. when I got home I quietly cried in my pillow,till today I still cry in my pillow about this,I don't know what to do,I feel one of those true love things about her,where I feel she is the only one I'll truly love ever. I mean I know almost know everything about her
Even her b-day,favorite bands,favorite movies,etc. anyway,so what I'm trying to say is that we have more in common than I thought but our birthdays,anyway she is a good amount of months older than me,she was born:5,14th,1991, I was born 11,15,1991
I'm eighteen she is nineteen,but like I said,she said she is getting married even though that's a young age to get married at,I really love her and wish to be with her...

Can someone help me with my depression,please? I'm begging,I feel like killing myself over this,for not acting faster at asking her to go out with me.
Can someone please help me?

martinizing2
Jun 16, 2010, 06:41 PM
How can you be in love with someone you don't really know? I think you are mistaking feelings of attraction for love.
You are way too young to be thinking she is the only girl for you. Get out and try to meet other girls and I'm sure you will discover this for yourself.
Try not to let the possibility of rejection hamper your search. It happens but is really no reflection of you lacking anything. The girl just isn't attracted and you shouldn't let it get you into a depression. Move on until you find another you are attracted to.
I think most women are attracted to men who are honest and up front with them. Just be yourself, be honest, and get to know someone over at least a few months before you form an opinion.
Don't let this instance cause you too much stress, you have a whole life ahead of you to find the right one.
Stop dwelling on her and get out and do what you normally do. The depression will fade and I'm sure you'll find what your looking for eventually.

redhead1992
Jun 16, 2010, 07:16 PM
I hate to be a downer, but there is nothing you can do. She's getting married. I went through this same kind of thing a few months back. You've just got to be happy for her and move on. Its hard, but possible. It might take a whie, but you'll survive

aimee_tt
Jun 16, 2010, 07:18 PM
Go out with your friends spend time with your family and soon you will forget all about the hurt and will be ready for the next girl who comes along

I wish
Jun 17, 2010, 11:29 AM
Take whatever time you need to cry over this, but once you start meeting new people, you will realize that there's lots of other special people out there. You just need to give yourself the chance to show yourself to these people.

talaniman
Jun 18, 2010, 05:01 PM
Your not the first guy to be rejected, and won't be the last. Hurts now, but as you get back in the grove, you will be attracted to, and connect with, many females in your life.

umashi
Jun 28, 2010, 04:49 AM
I understand,but the problem is that all this depression was building inside me from past problems that I've had(example.dad not bieng there for me,having been sent to a group home years ago,bieng beaten and abused at one of the group homes[i was at],bieng sent back home but missing my friends,getting a job and never getting paid for the three months I worked[schools fault,yet I never got my money to this day] and also the time my house was stolen from[my sisters fault] ),I never vented them out,and since I barely started to vend them out at that one instance at my home later that day[june 14th],. even though your answers were helpful they didn't quite calm me,I still feel this way,even thought I try to do other things,I still feel like giving up on my life,I don't feel any reasons to live on,I don't like doing things anymore,it's like what's the point.

talaniman
Jun 28, 2010, 05:41 AM
So this is not about one female, but a series of events going way back for years.

Hey guy maybe it has been a rough ride so far, and it would get any one down. But you don't have to stay down.

You have to motivate yourself to get back up, and keep going and get busy with the rebuilding.

What helped me through many a hardships was an older guy you could talk to, that you trusted. Maybe a religious leader, or relative, or counselor.

Seek out someone who fits that bill, and let them give you strength, advice, and directions out of your gloom, and doom thinking.

We all get down, and need somebody. And that's what could help now, some support and guidance.

umashi
Jul 2, 2010, 01:56 AM
I also have another problem,on July 2nd 2010 I am going to leave my school and graduate,but here the thing,I don't want to,I still want to be near my friends,but the problem is I can't since I'm graduating,and there is no knowing if all my friends will be there today for me to get their contact info,what am I going to do,I'm going to miss out on a lot because of this. Oh and to your question*quote*So this is not about one female, but a series of events going way back for years*end quote*yes and no,yes it not completely about this girl,and no it isn't completely about the series of events.
I just have a lot of pressure on me this time of year,more than I usually have and it's bringing me down. I just don't know what to do,I mean I losing a lot of friends right before my eyes and I can't do anything.

talaniman
Jul 2, 2010, 04:53 AM
That's bound to happen, as you leave your comfort zone, and move to the next level. Its expected, and normal, to have a little fear, and apprehension when we embark on the next phase of our life journey.

No one expects you to be perfect, and everything just works by the numbers. There are yet many trials to come, that you have been trained for.

Congratulations on your graduation, and good luck on your continued journey. You made a life at college, and now you will make a life in reality. Embrace the opportunity, and focus on forging ahead. Focus on your new goals, and make adjustments when there are obstacles. But never stop focusing on your goals.

Its very normal, and expected, to leave old friends behind (for now), and make new ones. Its an opportunity for continued growth, and discovery, as you build a life that you enjoy.

martinizing2
Jul 5, 2010, 06:10 AM
As tal said having to leave friends is just part of life. It comes at a time in your life that is already filled with loss and may look more overwhelming than it really is.

You are doing well. Keep it up . If the other pressures you mentioned are things you can address , spend time working on their resolution as a distraction from her.

Congrats on the graduation, that is no small accomplishment.

umashi
Sep 15, 2010, 07:01 AM
Turns out that things worked out for me,I have kept in contact with her,talking to her every once in a while,when after a month or so of not talking from bieng busy,it turned out they broke up,they were never going to get married,turns out he was playing her,I started talking to her about what happened trying tocalm her down,since she was in a depression,anyway few days later I asked her out and she said yes.

I'm pretty much happy with her,I passed by her school one day and gave her a diamond and silver ring,she was really happy and kind of shy about it.
But now the problem is how do I keep in contact with her,basically the day before I went and gave her the ring,her phone got broken and now I have no way of speaking to her,every time I would like to speak with her,I have to call the school before going over there and visiting,the problem about that is I have no means of transportation,gas cost's a lot and my parents aren't going to take me to visit anymore.
I don't know how I am gong to visit or talk to her now,but if there's a way I'd like to find out.ps:facebook,myspace,twitter,and vf are out of the picture,she hasn't visited those sites in a while,so I don't know how I am going to talk to her

I wish
Sep 15, 2010, 11:19 AM
The next time you see her, why don't you ask her how she intends on keeping in touch with you.

If she was interested in you, she would help you find a way.

umashi
Sep 15, 2010, 03:07 PM
I'll check in about that,but it'll be kind of hard since my mother has to go to work during the day[she subs for schools] and I have no other means of transportation to get to where my girlfriend is.
But if I can find a way I'll check in about what you said

umashi
Sep 15, 2010, 03:10 PM
My relation ship now reminds me of [creed:my sacrifice][the song]