Ok, here goes. This question has a long backstory, so please bear with me.

I was friends with someone for two years and I developed strong feelings for him. He was intelligent and funny but had absolutely zero experience with women. At a party one night I got very drunk and when we were in my room tried to kiss him (I don't remember any of this). Apparently he FREAKED out and ran outside to tell my apartment mates "She tried to kiss me and I don't know if I like her or not and I've never kissed anyone before!" Apparently I started sobbing and needed to be consoled afterwards. Now, this whole thing would have been funny, except I really liked him and I felt betrayed by him TELLING people what happened and embarrassing me. Months past and although we never talked about it, I felt like he was avoiding me. Somehow we ended up at a bar together and ended up back at his apartment with friends. He took me in his room and told me that he used to like me but liked someone else (who happens to be a racist and he is not white). He told me he was sorry for hurting me and I was willing to accept that. Then, he locked his bedroom door, turned off the lights and actually put "Casablanca" in for us to watch. The whole time he had his arm around me and kept looking at me like he wanted to kiss me. I figured he was too drunk to know what he wanted, so I made his bed for him, got him some alkaseltzer and left. The next day he called me and told me that watching the movie "was a bad idea." I then got a call from a girlfriend asking if I was OK, because apparently everyone was under the impression that left because I was upset that the guy was rejecting me in his room. What the hell... I have been there for this person when he needed me and the past and I was just shocked that he treated me so badly and that none of our mutual friends thought that he did anything wrong.

The problem is... It's been 6 months since I've seen him and we're not even in the same country but I still can't get over him. I have a photo album of pictures of him, I search for his friends online and I am insanely jealous of that girl he likes although I know she'll never feel anything for him. I keep waiting for him to realize what a mistake he made and for him to want to be with me. Right now I'm just hoping he'll send me an email on my birthday. I am pathetic.

Please give me advice on how to deal.

Thanks!

It sounds like he's all you put your focus into. Focus on some other things. Find some hobbies. Workout.

Wow, that really sucks he was such a jerk about things.

I know you feel pathetic for feeling this way for him, but your not. We all go through these times where we just can't control how we feel, and we beat ourselves up cause we know we shouldn't, but we just can't help it. I do not think that is pathetic.. I think its just part of human nature... You can get through this, and you can get over him it just takes time and dedication on your part.

Ive had a similar issue, not being able to stop thinking about someone, I felt so obsessive and weak, but I couldn't stop thinking about how good I felt when we were together, and how he made me laugh so much. The difference was that I had actually had a relationship with this guy... but he didn't put all that much effort in the relationship like I had... and I couldn't understand how I could feel so much for him when he didn't seem to feel the same for me... it was so unfair! My feelings of insecurity continued to build up every time I called him and he wouldn't ever try to call me (we were long distance for 4 months). I finally got tired of feeling unworthy and sad. I was tired of thinking about him day and night but knowing he didn't give much thought to me. Well I had to decide to let him go for my own sake.

I think that's what you should try doing... make a decision that he is just not the guy for you. With the way he embarrassed you and how he rejected you... well he may be blind and not see you for who you are and what you want to give to him, but he didn't treat you with very much respect. He didn't put you feelings first when he went and told your friends what happened. He should have kept that between the 2 of you..

I think you should stop concentrating on how great and funny he is and realize that he just isn't right for you. You're a caring person, and he will probably never see that. I know its so easy to want to see the best in him, and want to believe you could have that if he would just give you a chance. But you have to realize he just doesn't see you that way. He might never see you that way... so you are really just hurting yourself more by constantly looking at him and his friends... you need to let yourself let go. Put his pictures away... stop looking at his friends... and do your best to think of other things when he comes to mind.

Its not going to be easy for you I am sure... but if you ever feel the need for encouragement, this is a great place to come. You will be able to find someone who is great and funny, but even more so they will see you and enjoy you in return...

I hope I made some sense, and maybe helped you with what you were asking for.

Best of Luck!

Hey
I think you have to forget him because he is really an *******...
Its really hard when you love someone and like him a lot,and he just walk over u ,I tried this feelings many times.. but when you don't know what to do more that you already did to this guy... then he don't deserve u..
It will be hard for you at the 1st to forget him but it will keep you away from more pain I don't think you need right now
Takecare

Thank you so much for your kind advice guys, I really appreciate it. I definitely have that "unfair" feeling that you did s2tp. It feels so unfair that I liked him for exactly who he was and was there for him when no one else cared, while he never came through for me and embarrassed and hurt me in front of other people. It's my fault for getting drunk in the first place and maybe that's why I've let him off the hook for his behavior. It's just hard to think of him as some other jerk guy (which I guess he has proven himself to be) instead of as a person that I've come to really know and care for.

cordata, this guy isn't worth your energy. He's a jerk who doesn't care about your feelings at all. If he did, he wouldn't have embarrassed you and tried to make himself look like a "stud" at your expense. Please try not to waste another moment thinking about him. He isn't worth it.