Ive been with my boyfriend on and off for five years. Initially he was on the Facebook and I wasn't interested in it but after a while I decided to join it. That's when my boyfriend said I would be only doing this to spy on him, weird right? So he deleted his account or blocked me I can't tell. My friend request was pending for a year, he just got back on it yesterday he says and accepted my friend request and I see posts from 7 months ago, talking to a woman, he says she's an ex of his friend, the conversation was what are you up to tonight etc. I said I'm not too happy with the fact that he hid from me on the Facebook while talking to someone else. He got really defensive, called me paranoid, and broke up with me. Its not the first time we broke up but this is really suspicicious don't you think?

I think that it's a sad sight to see a website be a "relationship barometer". If this relationship is being judged on how he acts, or responds, to a 12 month old "friend request" (ridiculous in the first place), it's time to move on.

Of course he is talking to other women, that's why he's so secretive.

If it's been "on and off for five years", turn it off, and leave it off.

Good luck to you.

You don't mean the same to him that he does to you. Just accept that or block him so you don't get upset.

Seeing as this on/of relationship has come to a place where you judge stuff that you've seen on Facebook.. well I think its time for you to either trust him or get out of the relationship all together.

To be quite honest with you:

An on/of relationship that has lasted for 5 years... where is it really going? And are you using this as an exchuse to NOT trust or to get out of the relationship?

If the answer to the latter is YES than save yourself some trouble (READ: obsessing over old messages between him and a woman) and just get out.

I don't think its so suspicious at all, because obviously what he does when your off, is none of your business.

If you've been on and off for the last 5 years I would say that speaks for itself, you're casual in his eyes, until he finds someone he wants to make long term then you'll be dropped like a hot potato, do yourself a favour bow out gracefully. You'll only prolong the inevitable if you don't.

Thank you all for your reply-its good to get different perspective on things and move on.

I'm glad that you found our advice helpful. Moving on does seem like a good option in your case! Best of luck!