My understanding of istikhara is when you have to make a decision you pray istikhara namaz. And then leave the situation to allah. You then make a decision as in go ahead or not if you go ahead then if allah knows this is going to be good for you then it will if allah thinks this isn't good for you he removes you from a situation as it just doesn't happen? Is my understanding of istikhara right or not. As I am having severe doubts around 9 years ago I had a proposal from someone for marriage. He seemed islamicly educated and I thort I could see a future with him. However I prayed isthikhara namaz and constantly in my salat I use to make dua that if this person was not good for me then to not let the marriage happen and vice versa. To cut the story short the marriage went ahead so I thort allah swt wanted me to get married to this guy. However after marriage he didn't care for me or look after me and the maaraige ended up in a divorce even though I kept making dua for allah not to let the marriage end up in a divorce. I was so gutted and I lost faith in allah I had constant nagging thorts that why did allah let this happen as you know for a girl to go through divorce in our society is so hard. Due to the divorce I suffered severe deppression which lasted for years. I kept and thinking allah knew what this person was going to be like so why did he think this was the best for me. Did I pray my istikhara wrong? Or simply did allah not listen to my duas?
Any way my brother in law introduced me to someone for marriage about a year and a half ago. I was ready for a marriage as I needed physical comfort and I didn't want to obtain this in haram ways and felt the only way it was allowed in islam was to get married as it had been 7 years since I was divorced. Anyway He was turkish and couldn't speak english. Where as I could only speak english and gujerati. However I was introduced to this guy he seemed to have good characters so I thort and my brother in law also said that he was a genuine guy. Everyone kept and telling me to get to know him but I didn't because how could we communicate. I thort to myself that when he comes to england he will learn english. So I performed istikhara again and made so much dua to allah swt that he knew the future and he knew what was best for me. I prayed and again made a lot of dua saying to allah that if this person was not good for me and there would be someone better than for allah to not let marriage take place and vice versa. I said yes and believed that if he wasn't right for me than allah swt would not let the marriage take place as I had performed istikhara prior to this. I got married. It has been 1 year since we are living together. As I have got to know him I feel we are so different in so many ways our thinking everything etc. He is more materilistic and I am more hereafter orientated. I really was looking for a partner who would guide me and teach me about islam. I feel in this marriage I am teaching him manners, etc etc etc. He suffers from excessive odour and his breath stinks. I tell him so many times that he needs to take care of this issues as at times I don't want to even have a physical relationship with him he doesn't even have a shower when he knows he is smelling. I feel drained I feel why me as if I haven't suffered enough. I feel so angry with allah as I so believed like it says so many times allah knows what is best for us and he knows everything. He is the best planner so why did he let the marriage go ahead if he knew the second time it was going to be so hard. Everyone says be patient how much patience can I have I am only human. I need help as I am having doubts and don't believe in istikhara namaz? Did I make the mistakes in choosing these people? I don't understand or did allah want me to be with these people as it says he is the best planner and knows what is best for us.

Dear sister.
You should never lose hope in Allah because he knows everything and you do not. I know how you fell because I have been going through a tough time with my husband, He wants a divorce after ten years and two kids. I feel so hurt because he told me that he would buy me a house and we would live a beautiful life if I was patient but now after all my patience he is leaving me. I feel so broken hearted that I don't know what to do but still in my heart I know that Allah trully does know what is best for me. I plan to make istikarah for Allah's Guidance and I believe that He knows what's best for us both (me and you). You see, there are mysteries in this world that we do not know about and only Allah does. We try to use our brains to figure out these mysteries but we forget that Allah has only given us a bit of His vast knowledge. Never lose hope in Allah no matter what because once you do that believe me oyu will have no helper and you will really suffer. After every hardship there comes ease. My husband does not love me the way he used to and that hurts me so much and I can't figure out why Allah will not turn my husbands heart back to me even after all the duas I have made to Him. Sometimes I feel like Allah may be punishing me for my past mistakes and now I hurt so bad. But even though you hurt so bad and you feel so alone know that Allah is your only friend and maybe He is saving your reward for the hereafter. So stop stressing, go out and enjoy yourself. Take Yourself out to get your brain thinking of something else. Remember that Allah loves us more than our mothers do.

Ananymous

If you loose faith in allah, u fall out of islam and have to re-convert! Beg forgiveness, and inshallah allah will forgive you your sinns.

A sister

Hey Sister, I'm really sorry to hear that you have been suffering for so long. In another words when I hear such stories I say Alhamdulilah upon my situation. But I was dating this person, who was shia for 3 years, his family members did not want the marriage because a.) I am a sunni women. But he was so amazing because one day his mother put him in a position to make me convert which is not going to take place in a (gazillion years). Not because its not happening her way but because I love my religion I stand for my religion I personally don't find anything wrong with my religion. So he always ignored what their thoughts were, the truth is I met his mother a couple of months after we fell truly in love and quite frankly me and him never saw a healthy day in our relationship after meeting her. So the most saddest and devastating things ended up taking place between us we would break up, we would patch up. Haaa the way I loved him, I am picturing his smile his affection, him telling my I am his world, his crown. Anyway in the end 3 years later we broke up! Because I decided to do an Istikhara and the answer was negative. I continue to do istikhara, and keeping in my mind for another man in my family. Who came in my dream wearing all white, after that I felt so much better, my hope my love rose up again. I found myself smiling and just joking around that Im still going to get married. Started speaking to the person, then a couple of months later I did the istikhara again, seeking to meet up with the person with Allah swt permission and what came in my dream was my true love, wearing a green jacket telling me you left me, but look I'm still waiting for you, he looked so devastated in the dream, he looked like the Romeo whom our parents have told us stories about when "Romeo parted from juliet ppl threw rocks on him, he was almost insane had nothing to live for" Ok so in the dream I sensed all of the above and even more, so I took his hand in my dream I started walking him to his house, I asked him where is your family, he stated there all still here, I asked where are your friends, he replied they're all gone or the left me, and I was like what happened to you? He said well I was in the same institute as u, and the same floor as you were back when u hurt yourself for me. And if I don't eat this pills I loose myself. In between the dream I figure out that were in our community plaza and I just end up leaving him I have no clue why! Oh my Allah swt, when I woke up, first of all I woke up in a jerk second of all I was in tears, thirdly that dream woke up my feelings for him! I didn't look at the time, or who is home I just called and asked him is he OK? He said he's okay, and but after that I couldn't control the myself. Almost a year later we ended up getting married. And now he wants to give me a divorce! After I got married I lost a child who had almost come to life, his mother moved into the house with us, we already had problems before she moved in but we ended up solving them getting back to our normal life. After she moved in, he found a back bone I was not able to express my feelings the way I use to life was much harder in a sense, and there was an incident where the mother had with my husband when we were not at our home country. Since the day we returned from our journey the mothers perspective actions attitude completely changed towards me! 2 weeks later, I was watching the TV with my husband and, she thinks I'm dumb she thinks I didn't notice when she was trying to see where our attention is, walking back an forth to the kitchen pretending to drink water. Finally I turned to my right side to see where the heck she went she's standing by the left corner of the house looking at me and my husband through some brownish piece! It had some sort of affect because for 4 seconds I completely blanked out!! Again my face turns to the left and I said "what r u doing"? She quickly snapped that thing hid it "um uh Oh this I will show you later" and she ran like a chicken bak bak into her room. So I got of the couch and I fallowed her, I stand in front of her room she starts fidgeting in her closet... I was still lost at this point I went into the washroom, and I'm thinking and thinking *** was that, *** was she doing, *** was she looking at me and him for??
Finally I tell myself to shut the hell up, how could u think wrong, because I thought it was something evil! I told myself she prays, she reads the Quraan how could u think like that, moreover what would Allah think if he found out u thought it was magic. K so moving on couple of weeks later approximately 4-5 weeks later my husband and me are fighting like CATS AND DOGS! He comes to me and he sits on the bed and says, I don't know but my forehead is burning, my hands are burning from inside, I have something on my tongue like a blister. I told him the burning was because of smoking and blister is because he shares weed with his friends and its unhygienic. I did not know, at that time :'(... So anyway 2 months later were on the urge of sucking each others blood, we both wanted a divorce but the more he hated me the more I loved him?.
I got pregnant again there was a dispute between me and him I lost my baby again!. Finally at this point my back hurts, my hair is ("FALLING OUT") Allah my forehead the way it would burn, like no Tylenol no Advil could cure it, in my dreams I felt like I had sex with someone, I would feel so disgusting when I would wake up,slowly I started stinking even after taking a shower my body odour was so ugh, when sleeping I would wake up in a jerk feeling so scared, so insecure. Finally one night I remember a witch a long lady with hair up to her feet, big big eyes, long nose chasing me on her broom, and I'm huffing and puffing running away from her I turn around to see what the hell am I running away from? I see a witch sitting on her broom. When I woke up, I didn't really remember the dream I remember 3 days later the dream just came to me out of NOWHERE!! And I told my husband, I swear to god after remembering the dream, like I just had a feeling that his mom has something to do with these problems that are going on between us... And also, because when a topic about his mom would come up though I had no problems with her at that time, he would snappp he would be like WHY DO U HATE MY MOM? And a bunch of other things... So after all these incidents I did not even like coming home, I was told myself just let them to be so I would sit in front of the building till late at night I would sit in the stairs and just think why is he like this? I would sometimes east drop when I would get to the house door to see if he's talking to his or does he stay quite the way he is with me... But uh no that's not what I heard him and his mother would be talking and talking and he would be vaccuming when and they would be having conversations, may Allah forgive me for east dropping. So one night I came into my house sat beside my window took the palm of my two hands and raised it up to Allah asking and cryingg Allah if all these problems were meant to be, then why did you bless our marriage? Allah please show me my mistake if its my fault, please show him his mistake if its his fault... The next morning I woke up husband gave me the car to go to the beach with my family, and um I went into her room to find my sharpener which I had lended her like months ago, so I need to sharpen my eye pencil and I went into her room, looked in her pencil case, as she attended Qur'an classes. And I didn't see my sharpener but I saw soemthing very very tiny in a foil paper obviously that was no it. Walked back into the room, and my heart was not willing to not unwrap that foil paper. I end up going into the room and unwrapped the foil paper...
I'm sorry this might be hard to believe "an eye" 1 eye with the pubil in the eye, the eye was dried up, behind it was a very tiny tongue, it stinkedddd... my heart beats till today when I remember opening that foil paper... Only Allah knows how I felt at that moment, I was so happy that Allah actually granted my dua, he showed me that it was not him nor me. So I thought hide it? Burn it? Or save it? I thought to myself keep it, but in a very secretive place. After that my symptoms still didn't vanish and but I knew that the love of my life was not to blame! And but me I remember I would be sitting on the couch Wallahi, my heart would start beating and beating and beating and she would full walk by blowing something on me I would fight with my husband for the most dumbest reasons, that night I went down and I heard a cat calling my name, I started reciting the ayatull kursi the cat vanished! As far as the eye that I found, I could not sleep in my room, I felt fear in my viens I felt gosbumps all over my body, so I put it in a mail box slot which I had a key to, 15 days later I went to the mailbox slot the eye was gone... Kapeesh no where to be found!! I confronted his mother and she was like O that that's my grand-daughters belly button. But it was my bad luck, that I had to loose it. Anyway things have got so bad, that slowly I see my husband watching porno, emaling other girls and when u ask why or did u really do this " Allah kassam I didn't do it" Hearing the name Allah I believed it... a couple of months later I got pregnant and I lost the baby again, this time were sitting in the car and his mother goes to me "O just drink alot of water" like out of nowhere, and I looked at her like? She starts hesitating oh um no because the heaters came on, so your going to get dehydrated. I gave her that look, that I already know your the devils mothers, but what r up to this time. After dropping her off I went into the mousque told the moulana everything, he said come back next week. I came back next week, he gave me a duaa which unblocked a spell for me to concive, he gave me another dua to keep on me 24/7, because at that point I felt like vomiting when he would come close, or just in general when I was in the house...
Things ended up getting better,one day the dua fell out of my garment and she seen a tiny paper folded... I don't know what ran through her mind, but um it was pretty much a silent moment... Allah... Keeping in mind I'm still praying to Allah every night, I wake up for fajr prayers, I make sure I recite the Quran, I could not even think of having any complaints from Allah because Allah swt is so Rahim ALlah only showed me, and helped me... The amount of times I worshiped Allah with my mind and thoughts and mainly prayers was not enough to thank Allah swt. So anyway were talking 2 months back my life at that point I feel pins poking in me, I feel ants crawling on my face, there were not even any dreams this time...
I ended up getting into a conflict with the mother and my husband, today I am here at my parents house, hoping for the best, still crying and begging Allah to return him to me because he has no control over himself. I remember a couple nights later when I came back from my house, to my parents home I did an istikhara asking Allah will I get judgment for what this lady did to my life?. I woke up for fajar salah and had a dream, a small grave the width was the size of a babies grave, the heights was the size of an adults grave 2 snakes 1 black 1 red the red snake was sooo anxious for something to come his way... I know she will get her punishment, because she binded partners with Allah. But my life the way its going, they way me and my mother cry, the way my family blames me and sais u could have controlled it but little do they know kind of pitch black shaitanic eyes she had... I'll never give up on Allah whether I loose the love of my lives 1x over and over again. Nothing in this world or universe can come in between me and my Rab. Yes no doubt I break down everday approximately 5-8 times a day asking why Allah why so much hate against me? Asking Allah to please help me please help me... And I cann feel it rite now in my heart, in my mind and even in my veins that help is on its way... We should pray to Allah and thank him in our every salah for being born in a muslim family. Imagine if I was christian or jewish, or hindu? I would have probably found a new man by now, or been drinking etc. But thank you Allah swt for bring me as a muslim into this world... Nobody believed me even though when first I showed it to my husband, he admitted that yes it is something that looks only shaitanic he kept saying it smell like **** it smells like ****... But in the end his mothers words weighed so much more then mine ever did.

But I don't blame him, my job is to not give up my job is to make him a better person so that there aren't things such as snakes waiting for him in his grave... I love him, I love him so much, his love is true, it always way now I know why allllllllllll those incidents took place between me and him in our past. If you're a women and you end up marrying a man who is dirty or has like the most dumbest and stuipedess faults in him u being the bigger and better person show change him, so that tomorrow or years from now he will look up to u in his heart and mind. I know I am not going to live a long life, and I know that he probably is not going to live a long life either as much as he smokes and gets high, he's probably burned his lungs and heart out by now. But u know what I know that the Allah swt that I believe in and do sajdah to will reunite us, because our love is true, before we got married he converted to a sunni. His mother ended up figuring that fact out because he did not pray the same way... But the point being is that she ruined her akhira for me and for her son who won't even be able to protect her in her grave.
But his family were amazing he has an older brother who is such a bright and amazing person who was also my older brother, his wife the most pious women ever... I served his family threw them the most amazing dinners, even though I had 3 misscarriages I did not have the same energy in my back as I did before, but I tried on my belhaf to please them in the end, nobody had called even once to stop the divorce, or to ask me to come and speak to them so they can speak to their brother. The only phone call I got was from his older brother stating I want my daughters belly button back, my mom said u took it, my mom said u stole it from her purse, its not black magic I gave that to my mom. Ps when his mother told me that's her grand-daughters belly button I asked my sister in law, what she did to the babies belly button cord and she was like my mom took it to india and buried it. I understand that is their mother, and I've just been over the family over a year so really who am I? But what about the love and respect that I had for you guys especially my older brother inlaw, he knew how much respect and love I had for him as a older brother, none of my good came to their minds on my worst day. But its okay Allah has my records with him, I know the angles sitting on my right and left shoulder have told Allah we have seen her (me) doing so and so...
never give up on Allah the day u give up on Allah, know that there is nothing good for u after that!
In the Qur'an is specifically states "I will not put a barren on your back which you cannot carry". So today I feel proud of myself because, Allah considers me so strong, and to put such a barren on my back.
But I must say, the heart aches all the time, whether it be because I miss him, or it be because it makes me so sad that she was able to do this to me, and win. Or at least come down to this point. Whoever is reading this rite now Please raise up your hands for me and ask Allah swt from the bottom of your heart to help me, and make it easier on my mother and me. The day a Muslim gives up on Allah swt, that is the day your destruction has just begun! May Allah have his mercy and peace and blessings upon every muslim sister&bother may Allah make the lives so much easier of those people who are under the influence of black magic... May Allah help every widow, including my mother inlaw. May Allah help my husband to understand who his wife is, and how much she truly loves him. May Allah open his mind and heart and mainly his eyes! I love u Samio...

Dear sis if you are still with him, I want to pray for you this ramdhan and for all the women in this situation. Clearly you became target of a nasty women with low faith that turns out to be his mum.
One day she will realize her mistake because Allah doesn't forgive till the person forgives..
Please tell me is everything still the same ?

Maybe Allah wants you to love him first?