Well, as you all know, I am a blonde by nature, not by color. I thought I would start a thread with some of my random thoughts. Please feel free to add your own.








I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades! :eek:

Saw this on a Facebook status: "My mate wrote on his status that he was suicidal and on the edge of a cliff......so I poked him"

What does it say about me that I laughed out loud when I read this?! :D

Saw this on a Facebook status: "My mate wrote on his status that he was suicidal and on the edge of a cliff......so I poked him"

What does it say about me that I laughed out loud when I read this?!! :D

I love it!!

Doula, it says that we... ummm, Ever had one of those nights? You know where everything went right and wrong at the same time?

Oh, Carp, did I just make any sense?

I love it!!!

Doula, it says that we...ummm, Ever had one of those nights? You know where everything went right and wrong at the same time?

Oh, Carp, did I just make any sense?

I got it! But then I am also blonde by nature so, as you know, we are able to ascertain linguistics quite well. That's what I'm told anyway... :)

I can't stop laughing at both of them, and at the same time I feel bad for it.

ascertain linguistics

Wow! Big words! I like to use big words when I can. One of my favorite that only you will understand is "oligohydramios."

Dare. I dare anyone to try to explain what that word means without searching the internet for the definition.

Oligohydramios ,when pasta goes all mushy in the pot?

no.

Damn.

"oligohydramios."

Dare. I dare anyone to try to explain what that word means without searching the internet for the definition.Hello J:

It's when you've taken in too much salt, and your body is yelling "OY, GO, HYDRATE ME"

Or not.

excon

Wow! Big words! I like to use big words when I can. One of my favorite that only you will understand is "oligohydramios."

Dare. I dare anyone to try to explain what that word means without searching the internet for the definition.


If I didn't know already, I would guess a drop in a hydraulic system?? Although every time I see it I think of drano!

Ohhh, how about cephalohematoma, chorioamnionistis, or abolionamentoria??
(ok, I made the last one up)... :p

Y'all are so WAY off!





Another random thought... Do fish drink?

Do fish drink?Hello again, J:

Sure they do. They absolutely LOVE margaritas, but not with salt.

Ex

Well, do frogs fart?

Why don't they put all traffic lights on sensors so that you aren't sitting at a red light for 10 minutes at 3:00 a.m. when no one is coming from any direction?

Since humans drink like a fish, does a fish drink like a human? Discuss.



I'm off to is off to give my blanket some a$$ and my pillow some head.. what an awesome threesome!!

TTFN!

Well, do frogs fart?


Silent but deadly... unless they hold it in, that's why you see some blow up.

Well, do frogs fart?Hello J:

I'm sure they do... After all, dough rises because all those little yeasts are farting up a storm.

excon

Do cops get mad when they are stuck behind somebody going the speed limit?

Hello adam:

Cops don't GET mad. They ARE mad. When they look out upon the world, all they see are lawbreakers who haven't been caught yet.

excon

Aren't we all lawbreakers who haven't been caught yet?

WARNING! Consumption of Alcohol is the leading cause of unexplainable rug burns to the forehead!

Aren't we all lawbreakers who haven't been caught yet?Hello adam:

Nope.

excon

Never ask a woman with a large shape "when is that baby due ?"..

Never ask a woman with a large shape "when is that baby due ?" ..

I'm in shape...








Round is a shape! :p

I'm in shape......








Round is a shape! :p

You're not round. I've seen your picture. And you work too hard to be keeping on calories.

You know the women I'm talking about. They must be drinking a lot of beer to be having that "third tri-mester" look, all in the front.

But you know me(not really), trying to be nice. I ask if it's going to be a boy or a girl. I almost got my butt whooped once. I could out run her.

Never ask directly to the person is question:eek: ask a innocent bystander:)

A clerk at a local grocers was gone and I asked if she had her baby. They informed me that she wasn't pregnant:rolleyes:

Never ask directly to the person is question:eek: ask a innocent bystander:)

A clerk at a local grocers was gone and I asked if she had her baby. They informed me that she wasn't pregnant:rolleyes:

Glad to know it's not just me.

Never ask a woman with a large shape "when is that baby due ?" ..

We were visiting a friend of my hubby and his wife, that we hadn't seen for ages. She looked pregnant enough that I would have thought the baby was due tomorrow. I blurted out, 'Oh you're having a baby, congratulations.'
She looked at me puzzled and said, 'but we only just found out and I'm only 6 weeks how can you tell?'
'Oh, you've got that amazing expectant glow about you,' I gushed.
She absolutely beamed at that answer.
Phew! Quick thinking eh lol...
Hubby was still chuckling a week later.
Mind you I learned my lesson, might not be so lucky next time. *mouth zipped*

Last year I had a patient about to deliver, her mother looked over at me and asked when my baby was due.

I've since lost weight.

Reminds me of when I went to talk to an ante-natal class at the local hospital as the guest breast-feeding support speaker. The midwife in charge tried to usher me into a seat with the other pregnant ladies and I patiently explained I was there to give the talk not listen to it. She looked very embarrassed until I assured her that I was actually pregnant as well.

She then asked me when the baby was due and I replied, 'tomorrow.'

I swear she spent the whole of the talk with one eye on my bump lol.

Another time I was stopped in the street by a lady who was selling some kind of weight-loss plan.
'Excuse me my dear,' she said. 'would you be interested in losing weight at all?'

Imagine doing that for a living, boy she must get some rude responses!

'I'm planning on losing a good few pounds very quickly quite soon,' I replied, 'that's another person on board.'

I'm in shape......








Round is a shape! :p

As my co-worker says,"I have a body of a god,unfortunately it's Buddha!":p

AND!!


What are you on today J?? I want some of what you taking, make mine a double with refills!Please!

If I opened a thread with all my random thoughts, sheesh,I would be able to fill the 1500 on my own, in a few days:D

I think that I should think more...

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

I think that I should think more.....





Why is it when you are in a department store and you're standing there with your arms loaded down with clothing, a cashier will ask... Can I help you? What do you say? No.. I just thought I'd stand here with these clothes for a while?

Sunday mornings random thought...

If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$? Hmmm?

Last random thought before I fall asleep, or am I already asleep?

Have you ever just wanted to run up to a stranger and say "your it" and run away?

All the time.

WARNING!! Consumption of Alcohol is the leading cause of unexplainable rug burns to the forehead!

You'll slide better on tile... just a thought.

Funnel cake should be a health food.

WARNING!! Consumption of Alcohol is the leading cause of unexplainable rug burns to the forehead!

Huh, I always thought it was the knees, imagine my face:eek:when I learned this from J... ;)

You'll slide better on tile.....just a thought.

LMAO!!

Evil ninja monkeys have attacked, calling the flying squirrels to come... I'm hiding with the bats 'til they arrive.

LMAO!!!

Evil ninja monkeys have attacked, calling the flying squirrels to come...I'm hiding with the bats 'til they arrive.

KBC wants a double dose of what it is that you're on.

Just give me half!

KBC wants a double dose of what it is that you're on.

Just give me half!


LOL, it's just a new medication to stop my hot flashes and I am loving all the side effects.

LOL, it's just a new medication to stop my hot flashes and I am loving all the side effects.

You know what,, so are we:)

Glad to 'see' you so uppity, it is becoming!

You know what,,,so are we:)

We? Ken is there something I don't know about you? :eek:

We? Ken is there something I don't know about you? :eek:

Actually, you SHOULD know,, there are at least 2 of me in here, being a Gemini,the twin(s) and associates are always here(some days it's a whole choir)

I have lock jaw after reading a post in an adult sexuality thread,I swear it bounced off the key board.

random thought, holy crapola.

We're Gemini too.

Not a question, but my thoughts are that I am getting a grip on reality and choking it to death.

Not a question, but my thoughts are that I am getting a grip on reality and choking it to death.




Bella just a thought... do they really have have a nude marathon for bicycling in Britain? I'm not kidding a guy on another place was talking about it... Maybe that's where the song
"Blowing In The Wind"... came from?:eek:

I just got a 27" iMac as a work machine to replace my 20" that I got eight months ago. The screen is ginormous.

Bella just a thought...do they really have have a nude marathon for bicycling in Britian? I'm not kidding a guy on another place was talking about it...Maybe that's where the song
"Blowing In The Wind"...came from?:eek:


HAHAH! That's funny, but sounds very painful!
I'll take a pass on that one! ;)

Slapshot, I have no idea what you are even talking about. The only thing I understood was "the screen is ginormous".

Why do Kamikaze Pilots wear Helmets?? :confused:

Why do Kamikaze Pilots wear Helmets ??? :confused:

Safety first :), they don't want to hurt themselves

safety first :), they dont want to hurt themselves





Good one M :D

When I grow up I want to be a rickshah driver!

When I grow up I want to be a rickshah driver!






I'll bet your first customer would be a Sumo wrestler or two:eek:

I'd like to know what my beach balls are thinking:rolleyes: I feel sorry for the one that gets separated from the rest:) TMI?

I don't think beach balls suffer from separation anxiety, so it should be fine!

I dont' think beach balls suffer from separation anxiety, so it should be fine!






:eek::eek:

I dont' think beach balls suffer from separation anxiety, so it should be fine!
They do! You should see how they they try to catch up with the rest:)

I dont' think beach balls suffer from separation anxiety, so it should be fine!

New quote for the quote wall.

Too damn funny.

They can call me whatever chronological age I are... ill die 17 mentally.

ill die 17 mentally.

I like 17 year olds. :o:p

:D
I like 17 year olds. :o:p





17 year old what's?

I like 17 year olds. :o:p

Invincible still.

Just add tequilla with a splash of tabasco.

Night J, and Kp.

invincible still.

just add tequilla with a splash of tabasco.

Tequila makes my clothes fall off!!

All I want to do is a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom!

How did I miss this thread?

Did my invite get lost in the mail?

Sigh.

Okay, a few random thoughts that other people had but I copied and pasted. :)

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

How do you KNOW it's new and improved dog food?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

I've got more where these came from. Sadly, I think everyone else does too. I recognized a few of those already posted from the site I found. ;)

Come on, be totall random. You don't have to copy from anywhere else.

Why are grapes called grapes?

My doctor told me that I am the first person on the planet to contract a computer virus. He said he hasn't a clue as to how to debug me. They better hurry with a cure as my hard drive is becoming raw from scrubbing it.

My doctor told me that I am the first person on the planet to contract a computer virus. He said he hasn't a clue as to how to debug me. They better hurry up with a cure as my hard drive is becomming raw from scrubbing it.

What are you scrubbing it with Magpie dear? A raw salmon is typically a good choice. But then again, potato peels soaked in 30W motor oil seems to do some good as well.

What are you scrubbing it with Magpie dear? A raw salmon is typically a good choice. But then again, potato peels soaked in 30W motor oil seems to do some good as well.






Hahahah:D

Ying Yang Walla Walla Bing Bang!

Ying Yang Walla Walla Bing Bang!





Great thread J_9... :) You're to young to remember YingYang Walla Walla Bing Bang... :cool:

Great thread J_9.... :) You're to young to remember YingYang Walla Walla Bing Bang....:cool:

Nope, I'm not. Hehe

My 8 year old sings it almost every freaking DAY!

Nope, I'm not. hehe

My 8 year old sings it almost every freaking DAY!!





Gets stuck in your head doesn't it?:D At least it's not "Ally Oop Oop Oop Oop... Kit

I love you a bushel and a peck...

Can you finish that one?

I love you a bushel and a peck.....

Can you finish that one?

A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck. A hug around the neck.

Hey I know with a seven year old you know... Five little monkeys jumping on the bed...

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed....

That song got one of my nurse associates in BIG trouble with a patient's family when I first started nursing. Good thing I'm a great BS'r... I got her out of that tangle really quick.

Down side... My nickname at work now is Monkey. :p

Why are grapes called grapes?

Avocado was already taken.

Avocado was already taken.

LMBO!!

But why are Avocodo's green?

LMBO!!!

But why are Avocodo's green?




Makes the guacamole look better!:cool:

Can you say Irish Wristwatch ten times real fast?

Yeah, you did it didn't you?

Irish wristwrotch, irish rish rosh

Re he he he he, scooby rooby roooo! :D, damn it :(

irish wristwrotch, irish rish rosh

re he he he he, scooby rooby roooo! :D, damn it :(
Thanks for the smile Bear... I REALLY needed it this morning.

No probrem raggy :D

Hugs J :)

no probrem raggy :D

hugs J :)

I couldn't do it... I couldn't say Iwish witch wash... WAAAH:p

Why is it that when you warn 39 kids not to go near the marsh, say it 20 times, tell them you really mean it, at least 25 of them will still go too close to the marsh and at least one will fall in and then whine the entire day because his foot is wet.

Also, why is that one kid that falls in always mine?

Actually, I'm kidding. Jared did great. He didn't disobey.

Now, how do you get marsh water out of your socks? I just bought them and I want to wear them again. :o

Why is it that when you warn 39 kids not to go near the marsh, say it 20 times, tell them you really mean it, at least 25 of them will still go too close to the marsh and at least one will fall in and then whine the entire day because his foot is wet.

Also, why is that one kid that falls in always mine?

Actually, I'm kidding. Jared did great. He didn't disobey.

Now, how do you get marsh water out of your socks? I just bought them and I want to wear them again. :o




Because it's there Alty.. Because they wanted to see what was so bad about the marsh... good for Jared... nice little boy.. :cool: Try soaking the socks in some windex before you wash them... It really works.:D

Because it's there Alty..Because they wanted to see what was so bad about the marsh...good for Jared....nice little boy..:cool: Try soaking the socks in some windex before you wash them...It really works.:D

LOL!

But it was me that went too close and got sucked in. That marsh land is like quick sand, only stinkier.

Jared and the other 3 kids in my group all told me to stay back. Of course I'm saying "No, no boys, I'm okay, I'm an adult, I just want to get a closer look at that....ahhhhh....I'm sinking....HELP!!!!!"

I have to say that they all rushed to my rescue. Four 11 year olds coming to save me. Ya, I can charm men of all ages. I'm all that. :) ;)

LOL!

But it was me that went too close and got sucked in. That marsh land is like quick sand, only stinkier.

Jared and the other 3 kids in my group all told me to stay back. Of course I'm saying "No, no boys, I'm okay, I'm an adult, I just want to get a closer look at that....ahhhhh....I'm sinking....HELP!!!!!"

I have to say that they all rushed to my rescue. Four 11 year olds coming to save me. Ya, I can charm men of all ages. I'm all that. :) ;)

OMG LoL... I'm sorry I can't help it. I can picture it.:eek::D

OMG LoL...I'm sorry I can't help it. I can picture it.:eek::D

Thankfully there are no pictures, so you'll just have to be content with the pictures in your head, which I'm sure are better then what actually happened. ;)

I did redeem myself later when I caught a frog. The kids thought I was so uber cool because I wasn't afraid of it. Then they totally freaked out (in a good way) when I picked up a spider. At the end of the trip they were all telling Jared that I have to come to every field trip, I just have to stay away from bodies of water. :rolleyes:

Thankfully there are no pictures, so you'll just have to be content with the pictures in your head, which I'm sure are better then what actually happened. ;)

I did redeem myself later when I caught a frog. The kids thought I was so uber cool because I wasn't afraid of it. Then they totally freaked out (in a good way) when I picked up a spider. At the end of the trip they were all telling Jared that I have to come to every field trip, I just have to stay away from bodies of water. :rolleyes:



Anyone who picks up a spider:eek: is cool. Next time.. Don't go near the marshes:D

31532

Spider dog, spider dog, does whatever a spider dog does. :)

Why is it that when you warn 39 kids not to go near the marsh, say it 20 times, tell them you really mean it, at least 25 of them will still go too close to the marsh and at least one will fall in and then whine the entire day because his foot is wet.


So a girl at the hospital tells me today that she's absconded an instrument in my area to fix a Really Big Problem, so no touchie.

What do I do?

Immediately go over, touch the crap out of it and tell her "when a girl tells a naughty boy to not touch something... what do you think is going to happen?"

She shouldve expected as much from me.

...

As for the marsh madness... I practically did the same crap as a kid. School trip to a big park with nicely designed and designated visitor areas... and then there's the muddy mess on the other side of the ropes.

Told us to stay in proper areas.

That lasted as long as it took to see chaperone eyes focused on hot dogs and buns. Outtie.

Two memories from that jail break...

The first was when four kids called me chicken.. and four is a quorum in kid circles... so I jumped. Leaped off a ledge, over the creek, to the muddy bankside below. Seemed like 20 feet... was no more than 10 high. Definitely at least an 8 foot drop.

Made it. No ankles snapped. But my newish right shoe was left behind... in the muck and the mud.

Was able to get it out, but it was a wet muddy mess. That didn't damper my day at all, but I sure made it seem like it was inconvenient for me to have a squishy shoe when me madre railed me for the dirty tenny.

Second memory? Being the lead guy in a group of kids (and the school bus driver!) walking though a huge drainage pipe (about 40 feet long) and screaming "alligator!!!!!" and hitting my head on the ceiling.

Of course, it wasn't an alligator. It was a really big rock in a dark drainage pipe. But better safe than sorry when you are the lead guy, I think.

Wow this was long... all to say kids will be kids and I'm jealous... best part of being a daddy is I get to blame the little spud for my silliness.

31532




Now that is a cute spider. I'd pick him up anytime. That is such a precious dog... I could eat him up.:) M... I want that dog.

wow this was long... all to say kids will be kids and I'm jealous... best part of being a daddy is I get to blame the little spud for my silliness.

That's the best part of having kids.

I volunteer for most of the field trips my kids go on. Two in the last two weeks. :)

Today, one of the kids in my group said "I think we should thank Jareds mom for coming on all these field trips. She could be sitting at home, in front of the tv, eating chips, like my mom". Made me proud and sad at the same time.

Truth is, I joke about the trips, but I love it. I even love walking around with wet marshy shoes all day, because at the end of the day, I know the kids had a blast and I gave them a day to remember.

Jared gave me a huge hug, in front of his friends (which has recently become a big no no) and told me how happy he was to be my kid. Stupid tears didn't hold back, so I pretended I got a bug in my eye. I think they bought it.

Bottom line. I love those little stinkers and they're only kids for a while. Before I know it they'll be all grown up, but I'll have my memories, and so will they.

Okay, mushy moment over. Nothing to see here. I am tough! Whimper.

That's the best part of having kids.

I volunteer for most of the field trips my kids go on. Two in the last two weeks. :)

Today, one of the kids in my group said "I think we should thank Jareds mom for coming on all these field trips. She could be sitting at home, in front of the tv, eating chips, like my mom". Made me proud and sad at the same time.

Truth is, I joke about the trips, but I love it. I even love walking around with wet marshy shoes all day, because at the end of the day, I know the kids had a blast and I gave them a day to remember.

Jared gave me a huge hug, in front of his friends (which has recently become a big no no) and told me how happy he was to be my kid. Stupid tears didn't hold back, so I pretended I got a bug in my eye. I think they bought it.

Bottom line. I love those little stinkers and they're only kids for a while. Before I know it they'll be all grown up, but I'll have my memories, and so will they.

Okay, mushy moment over. Nothing to see here. I am tough! Whimper.

They grow up so fast.. I wish all mine were back home again... :)

My boy still wants "snuggles"...

This desire is compounded by the fact he doesn't live with me.

The day that stops, and it going to be too soon, is going to be a really, really Bad Day for me... I promise to be unbearably irritated and irritable to all others... like, more than normal.

my boy still wants "snuggles"...

this desire is compounded by the fact he doesnt live with me.

the day that stops, and it going to be too soon, is going to be a really, really Bad Day for me... i promise to be unbearably irritated and irritable to all others... like, more than normal.

It's hard.

So far Jared is just averse to public shows of affection, he's still my cuddly boy at home. So far.

He's 11 though. It won't be long before he asks me to drop him off 3 blocks from the school because he's ashamed to be seen with me, or asks to go to the mall by himself to buy clothes. I won't only be irritable on that day, I'll be downright inconsolable. I may weep for months, maybe years. The day these two get married I'll be a wreck.

Sigh. Where did the time go? I swear I just brought that little boy home from the hospital the other day. How dare he grow up! :(

my boy still wants "snuggles"...

this desire is compounded by the fact he doesnt live with me.

the day that stops, and it going to be too soon, is going to be a really, really Bad Day for me... i promise to be unbearably irritated and irritable to all others... like, more than normal.

He'll always be your little boy... and just think you'll have so many things you can do even when he's older. Course you kknow that. It is sad to watch them grow up and leave home. I cried and threw myself on their empty bed as each one left for College. Still do sometimes.

I want two more years of sitting right next to me whilst watching a movie and two more years of in the crook of my arm while I read to him at night when I'm over at the house to see him...

Everything else is bonus...

...

That said, we all know this is an empty threat.

He can decide tomorrow its not cool to hug me and I'm grateful for the time I had... it's the best thing I've ever done.

And that kid loves me large. This I Know.

i want two more years of sitting right next to me whilst watching a movie and two more years of in the crook of my arm while i read to him at night when im over at the house to see him...

everything else is bonus...

...

that said, we all know this is an empty threat.

he can decide tomorrow its not cool to hug me and im grateful for the time i had... its the best thing ive ever done.

and that kid loves me large. this i Know.


That is so sweet and you are a great parent...

KP, I'll always be willing to snuggle and watch TV. Just saying.

KP your posts make me misty...

Just sayin'

KP your posts make me misty...

Just sayin'

I'm outright bawling J. I've gone through at least 10 kleenex's because of KP's posts.

I'm just a really weepy girl tonight. I hate it when I'm weepy.

Someone slap me around, get me to buck up.

I'm weepy too Alty.

I wonder if KP would marry me if I were single. I'd give anything to have a man as wonderful as him.

Well that just sucks, men suck, marriage sucks, boyfriends suck, seeing people sucks, dating sucks, it all friggen sucks. Ya I'm bitter. So what?

Every day I think people can't get any stupider, and every day I'm proven wrong!

Stupider? Haha. Yea some people are just plain stupider than the last.

I can't even begin to describe the stupid people I run into.

Like the gal who called one night afraid that her water broke. I asked her the common questions like... Please tell me why you think your water broke.

Her response... My 3 year old spilled water on my lap!! :eek:

NO!! Oh no, no, no!! Are you serious? That's just stupider!

I have a friend who thinks you should start counting at zero, because that comes before one. So if you were counting your fingers, technically you would only have four, because your thumb would be zero. Yup. That's my girl!

NO!!!!!!! Oh no, no, no!!! are you serious? That's just stupider!

Yep, a week later she called and said "A bird pooped on my shoulder. Could I be in labor?" :eek:

No, she did not get her tubes tied yet. :(

I love peanut butter.

How the heck did she get pregnant?! Why in the world did she think that a bird pooping on her shoulder meant she was in labor? Is that some wives tale I don't know about?


Adam, crunchy or smooth?

How the heck did she get pregnant??!!! Why in the world did she think that a bird pooping on her shoulder meant she was in labor? Is that some wives tale I don't know about??


Adam, crunchy or smooth?

I haven't a clue how she got pregnant. I just hope it doesn't happen again. She's a very sick puppy.

Jiff or Skippy?

Smooth and I am more of a peter pan kind of guy!

Ok, I am going to go grill out some pork burgers for everyone at work. See you guys later.

Ok, I am going to go grill out some pork burgers for everyone at work. See ya guys later.





I love pork cops.

I love pork chops too. Yummy, I made 60 pork burgers and I am in the process of making 24 pork steaks and I made 2 hamburgers.

I love pork chops too. Yummy, I made 60 pork burgers and I am in the process of making 24 pork steaks and I made 2 hamburgers.




What time is supper?:D

Well there is about 5 pork burgers left over and about 12 pork steaks left, and the hamburgers are gone, so better get some while the gettins good.

Well there is about 5 pork burgers left over and about 12 pork steaks left, and the hamburgers are gone, so better get some while the gettins good.






On my way:D

10-4

10-4





Roger,:D over and out

Nice, so kitkat, I missed your arrival but you seem to be quite knowledgeable. So anyway, I know most peoples story here, what about yours?

Nice, so kitkat, I missed your arrival but you seem to be quite knowledgeable. So anyway, I know most peoples story here, what about yours?

I found this site when I was searching for a song. Got hooked. My life isn't very exciting but I love it. My husband and I have four kids.. his.. mine.. ours. The kids are gone now... First College.. then careers.
Our baby graduated a month ago from College. She's a music lover and is pursuing a career in sound and technical music production. Our grandchildren are precious (I thank God for them) they stay with us a lot especially during the summer. I love this site... wonderful people and now I know you all... call me Kit:D

Well that sounds very nice. That happens so often here. You come for advice and then you give a lot more than you came here for. It is very nice to meet you Kit!

Well that sounds very nice. That happens so often here. You come for advice and then you give alot more than you came here for. It is very nice to meet you Kit!




Very nice meeting you... :) Later

Later!

Yep, a week later she called and said "A bird pooped on my shoulder. Could I be in labor?" :eek:



In a private class, I once had a father who was concerned about the little hats that are put on the baby's head after birth. He had heard somewhere that newborns breathe through their head at first... :)

Doula, you have got to be kidding me!! Now I think I've almost heard it all.

Yeah, almost, I'll hear something new tomorrow night I'm sure. LOL

Last year our doc went to Africa for a conference. One of our patients asked how long it takes to DRIVE there!

Hahah yea babies have gills on the top of their heads that they breath through. Wow. Just wow. Who are these people?

Hahah yea babies have gills on the top of their heads that they breath through. Wow. Just wow. Who are these people??






ON THEIR HEAD:eek: I didn't know newborns couldn't breath through their mouths until my oldest was born. BELLA... Gills you are a hoot:D

I love pork cops.

:confused::rolleyes::D

:confused::rolleyes::D




Oh yes... This song has been in my head all day... "There she was just a walking down the street, singing oo wah diddy diddy dom diddy do":rolleyes:

KP your posts make me misty...

Just sayin'

I make j9 wet. Pass it on...

When you color your hair is it supposed to burn?

Does that mean it's working? Is this the price for beauty?

Ouch!

When you color your hair is it supposed to burn?

Does that mean it's working? Is this the price for beauty?

Ouch!

Just a little.. :)

When you color your hair is it supposed to burn?

Does that mean it's working? Is this the price for beauty?

Ouch!

What colour is it going to be?

The real price you have to pay for beauty is to be a lovely, caring, compassionate person - but you already easily covered the toll on that one Alty.

Hope the hair turns out great. :)

B.I.T.C.H... Babe In Total Control of herself.. how do you like those apples, buddy..

Does anyone here see numbers and realate them to something? For example, you see the time and it is 9:11 and that is an obvious one, or you see 12:34 and you just think it looks cool for the number s to be in order or 3:57 I think gun or any of the numbers realting to guns, or a number and think an engine size or a birthday or something? Or is it just me?

It's not just you. I can't wait to deliver a baby on August 9.

8/9/10

Does anyone here see numbers and realate them to something? for example, you see the time and it is 9:11 and that is an obvious one, or you see 12:34 and you just think it looks cool for the number s to be in order or 3:57 I think gun or any of the numbers realting to guns, or a number and think an engine size or a birthday or something? Or is it just me?

I do that all the time! I feel like every time I look at the clock it's either 11:11 or 11:13. Weird eh?

Yay, I am glad I am not crazy. Well I might be crazy, but at least I share some same thoughts as normal people.

I am definitely not normal!

Well that makes a few of us. I seem to always hit 11:11 and make a wish.

Does anyone here see numbers and realate them to something? for example, you see the time and it is 9:11 and that is an obvious one, or you see 12:34 and you just think it looks cool for the number s to be in order or 3:57 I think gun or any of the numbers realting to guns, or a number and think an engine size or a birthday or something? Or is it just me?

No, it's not just you. I had a coworker who's girlfriend wanted to get married on 07/07/07, for luck.

They're divorced already.

When I look at a digital clock, I think of gun calibers, engine sizes, scriptures, birthdays, etc. I also think that I should play those numbers on the lottery. They are just as good as any others.

My father passed on June 6, 2007. When the news came all my mother could say was "Thank God he didn't die last year." When I asked her what that meant, she said, "Well, he would have died on 6/6/6."

We still have a good laugh out of that one.

No, we are not being disrespectful, Dad's nickname was Joker. We think he put those thoughts in our heads just for a laugh on such a sad day.

That's sweet J. I bet he would have gotten a good chuckle out of that too.

That's sweet J. I bet he would have gotten a good chuckle out of that too.






It is funny J_9... your dad must have been a great guy!:)

There are a few more he would have gotten more than a chuckle out of. For instance, at the interment, Dad was cremated BTW, Mom put her hands on the urn. She picked it up to hug it, but before she hugged it she said...




"Wow this is heavy!! It would make a great door stop!" I popped her upside her head (lovingly) and said "Mother!" My aunt, Dad's sister, and Mom burst out laughing so hard they were crying!

All Mom could say after that was "Joe, leave us alone, we are trying to mourn your loss!!"

Hahah that is very cute. It's nice when you can laugh and joke to remember someone's loss. We were kind of the same way at my nannies funeral. She was a joker too, so we thought the best way to honor her would be to have smiles on our faces.

Hahah that is very cute. It's nice when you can laugh and joke to remember someone's loss. We were kind of the same way at my nannies funeral. She was a joker too, so we thought the best way to honor her would be to have smiles on our faces.




I think laughter helps heal Bella. J_9 if I had heard your mother say that... I would have been on the floor. That is funny.:)

"It's gonna be biblical."

"It's gonna be biblical."





Okay:)

Sorry, I had a random thought and I wanted to say it and here seemed appropriate.

Sorry, I had a random thought and i wanted to say it and here seemed appropiate.

It is! Good thought Adam... Now I'm thinking about the song "Amazing Grace". One of my favorites.:)

I love music.

I love music.




All kinds.. gospel, rock country,. My faves when I was younger were Grateful Dead, Eric Clapton(still) Bread, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Steve Winwood.. that's just a few. You?

Wonders what flavor milk shake brings all the boys to the yard?

Alty... don't even. :p

I like listening to Alternative more than anything. I also really like Country. To many great artists out there. I like Shinedown and Nickelback and Theaory of a deadman right now. I like most rock too. I just really like anything!

Me too.Adam. Bella milkshakes... Do you all have the Burger King commercial of the weird guy dressed like a King? He is creepy... Thats a random thought.

Have you ever seen the commercial where the king kills Ronald? Well not really a commercial I guess.

No can't say I've seen that one Adam. Kit yea I hate that big headed King guy, he is super creepy.

Go to YouTube and put in the king kills ronald mcdonald. It used to be a big thing awhile back.

Here are some thoughts that I posted back in October:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/humor-comedy/thoughts-we-have-always-thought-402877.html

If a bear farts in the forest and nobody is around, does it smell?

If a bear farts in the forest and nobody is around, does it smell?









Yuck... for sure!:eek:

Yuck...for sure!:eek:

LOL! How bad can it be? I wouldn't know. I've never smelled bear fart. I have however smelled elephant fart, that was gross. It has a flavor! :( :eek:

LOL! How bad can it be? I wouldn't know. I've never smelled bear fart. I have however smelled elephant fart, that was gross. It has a flavor! :( :eek:




Alty... Gag... I just finished a banana split... OH lol:eek:

Alty...Gag...I just finished a banana split...OH lol:eek:

A banana split!

Ohhh. I haven't had one of those in... OMG... when was the last time?

Sharsies?

A banana split!

Ohhh. I haven't had one of those in....OMG...when was the last time?

Sharsies?




Hubby went to Sonic... yummy.. Here have some... :)

Hubby went to Sonic...yummy..Here have some...:)

I'm licking my monitor. It tastes like fly poo. :(

I'm licking my monitor. It tastes like fly poo. :(




OMG... GAG... You don't even know what fly poop taste like. Do You:D

OMG....GAG ...You don't even know what fly poop taste like. Do You:D

I do now. :(

I'll be posting this on it's own thread tomorrow, but for today, I have to share.

Thanks CBW, I hope you don't mind me stealing it. :)

As Father's Day grows near:

Roses grow in Heaven, pick a bunch for me. Place them in my
Dads arms and tell him they're from me.

Tell him that I love and miss him and when he turns to smile, place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for a while.

Remembering him is easy. I do it everyday. There's an ache within my heart that will never go away.

I love you Dad! 9 kisses, one for each Fathers Day we've missed.

I'll be posting this on it's own thread tomorrow, but for today, I have to share.

Thanks CBW, I hope you don't mind me stealing it. :)

As Father's Day grows near:

Roses grow in Heaven, pick a bunch for me. Place them in my
Dads arms and tell him they're from me.

Tell him that I love and miss him and when he turns to smile, place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for a while.

Remembering him is easy. I do it everyday. There's an ache within my heart that will never go away.

I love you Dad! 9 kisses, one for each Fathers Day we've missed.


I am bawling.. That's exactly how I feel. I dread Fathers Day. Now I feel better... We had wonderful Dads didn't we? For just five minutes more to tell him I love him... Thanks little sweet Alty. You've made me feel better... Hugs:)

LOL! How bad can it be? I wouldn't know. I've never smelled bear fart. I have however smelled elephant fart, that was gross. It has a flavor! :( :eek:

Worst thing about a fart? Knowing that in order to smell one, a$$ particles have to travel through the air and into your nose... yep.. those olfactory receptors are docked with bits from the butt. Its just too intimate...

worst thing about a fart? knowing that in order to smell one, a$$ particles have to travel through the air in into your nose... yep.. those olfactory receptors are docked with bits from the butt. its just too intimate...




I have to go puke! Thanks kp... you little devil.:D

worst thing about a fart? knowing that in order to smell one, a$$ particles have to travel through the air in into your nose... yep.. those olfactory receptors are docked with bits from the butt. its just too intimate...

Thanks for that KP. Now I want to buy a mask. ;)

Thanks for that KP. Now I want to buy a mask. ;)





Night Alty... Tomorrow!

Night Kit.

I posted this on FB yesterday.

I need a sugar daddy. I'm not spoiled, I just want to buy toilet paper and electricity.

I have an appointment with my therapy group. Betty blanket, Percy pillow, and the therapist, Martha mattress. They always make me feel good.

Been up 27 hours now! :eek:

Sleep well J!

Sleep well J!




Sleep well J... :)

Funny song, check it out!

YouTube - Jaron And The Long Road To Love - Pray For You (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFJu8DCH_b0)

I have an appointment with my therapy group. Betty blanket, Percy pillow, and the therapist, Martha mattress. They always make me feel good.


That darn Percy gets all the head :rolleyes:

That darn Percy gets all the head :rolleyes:

LMAO!

What would I do without M's funnies? ;)

LMAO!

What would I do without M's funnies? ;)

M's funnies are funny! :p

M's funnies are funny! :p

M's the funniest funny guy around.

There's only so far you can go with that. ;)

Yeah, I guess we're done with that one!

NEXT!

There's a thread about love, how to know when you're in love.

Everyone is doing the sappy "Love is when he buys you flowers" thing. Well, I did too. But, if you want to know true love, it's when a man goes to the pharmacy and buys you tampons, and midol. That's true love. :)

Good one Alty! Good one!

I just read the thread about how you know you are in love.

I just have to say "gag me with a spoon!"

Sorry a little Synnical tonight.

Thought: if fish lived in pepperwater... would they really sneeze (referencing my salt water fish joke)

I just read the thread about how you know you are in love.

I just have to say "gag me with a spoon!"

Sorry a little Synnical tonight.

I feel the same way, but if you can't beat them, join them.

Sigh.

Love is not having to write out why you're in love. The end. ;)

Everyone is doing the sappy "Love is when he buys you flowers" thing. Well, I did too. But, if you want to know true love, it's when a man goes to the pharmacy and buys you tampons, and midol. That's true love. :)


first time I bought tampons for a girl...

I'm in HS... dating the girl who is now forever known and The Evil Jen... tho' really, I think my divorcée ex outdid her and then some... off topic...

so the Evil Jen needs some girl supplies and I go. Fine. I'm fine with it.

so I go to get the tampons and I'm immediately overwhelmed by the selection process. Pink? Blue? Wings? Heavy?.

so I pick and run with it. I figure being dumb and wrong and trying is better than anything else...

...

an aside... that, right there, is the cause of at least ten years of later frustration and angst... jus' saying...

...

back to scene...

so I decide, after grabbing the box, that itd be less conspicuous if I had a few other things in the cart. You know... pads, popcorn, pepsi, and peanut m&ms...

so I stroll up and lay it all out. Ready to pay and roll and what do I hear?

"price check. aisle four. kotex regular maxi's"

...

no f'ing way. At this point, I could just die. I mean just charge me three times the market value of a pad... I don't care.

there's three people behind me and you want to see if I can save a buck or less on my snotty gf's pads?

seriously. Some things are worth paying an extra dime for...

=P

first time i bought tampons for a girl...

im in HS... dating the girl who is now forever known and The Evil Jen... tho' really, i think my divorcee ex outdid her and then some... off topic...

so the Evil Jen needs some girl supplies and i go. fine. im fine with it.

so i go to get the tampons and im immediately overwhelmed by the selection process. pink? blue? wings? heavy? ...

so i pick and run with it. i figure being dumb and wrong and trying is better than anything else...

...

an aside... that, right there, is the cause of at least ten years of later frustration and angst... jus' saying...

...

back to scene...

so i decide, after grabbing the box, that itd be less conspicuous if i had a few other things in the cart. you know... pads, popcorn, pepsi, and peanut m&ms...

so i stroll up and lay it all out. ready to pay and roll and what do i hear?

"price check. aisle four. kotex regular maxi's"

...

no f'ing way. at this point, i could just die. i mean just charge me three times the market value of a pad.... i dont care.

there's three people behind me and you want to see if i can save a buck or less on my snotty gf's pads?

seriously. some things are worth paying an extra dime for...

=P

THAT is hilarious!
My dad won't even drive me or mum to the store if we plan to buy pads or tampons

The first time R went out to buy me pads was after Jared was born. I don't normally wear pads, but because I just had a baby, tampons weren't an option.

So I send the poor man out, and I have no idea what to tell him to buy. I don't know the brand names, or sizes, or anything, because I never use them. I just gave him the simple instructions "Get the biggest, least sticky ones you can find".

The man came back with four bags of pads. Apparently, when he got to the store, he was so overwhelmed by the selection, and didn't want to ask anyone for help, so he just took one of each.

I don't think adding anything to the cart would have helped, seeing as there were around 25 boxes of pads in the cart.

Now that's love. :)

At this point in my life... I no longer give a damn.

Glad to be the sorry jerk who is whipped enough to buy his girl whatever product is needed because... well... you know... planning for the INEVITABLE is just silly talk.

Like budgeting for gasoline for the car.

WHO KNOWS when I might be needed? Lets just take it day by day...

...

k.

Sorry. That was isome.

I know. I know. We boys put off the need to get something of immediate concern just as often.

Who knew that id need to shave today? And use deoderant? Again? Today?

Life is simple and complicated all at once.

The man came back with four bags of pads. Apparently, when he got to the store, he was so overwhelmed by the selection, and didn't want to ask anyone for help, so he just took one of each.

I completely get this.

Back then, I wanted to look inconspicuous.

Now.. I want to be done.

More than glad to spend an extra 30 or 40 now just to have to return most of it... and explain how "is there anything wrong with it" is answered by "nah... im just an arse with a girl and i want to get laid eventually"...

LOL! KP, I do usually plan, and I did buy products for after Jared was born, but I had no idea what type to buy, and the ones I bought weren't adequate.

So I got home, in pain, new baby, realized that the pads I had bought wouldn't cut it. If I could have gone myself, I would have, but a lot of stitches in my girlie parts, pain killers wearing off, baby wanting to be fed, well I just wasn't up to a trip to Walmart. ;)

When I had Sydney I planned ahead. I stole the pads from the hospital. They really are the best for after giving birth.

TMI?

Are all the boys cringing yet, or do I need to be more graphic? ;)

Time for this chickadee to hit the hay.

I'm exhausted. I spent the entire afternoon deep cleaning my kitchen. Not just a wipe down, but taking everything out of the cabinets, washing them down, above the cabinets too, the cabinet doors got bleached, the floor got scrubbed (on my hands and knees) and now I have a headache and sore knees, so I think I'll go to sleep.

Night all. Dream about me, I know I'll dream about you, or scrubbing floors. It's a toss up. ;)

Irony of my life...

My son was conceived after we'd been to sams club and bought a quarter of a years worth of tampons...

Love my kid.

Now have a fear of having "too much" feminine products in the house... as if that lead to the pregnancy...

... but seriously... I don't care how much you'll save.

Ixnay on the ostcovay and amssay lubcay saving you dead presidents on the girlie products...

Life is what happens when you are planning...

Oops.

Outtie too.

My hubby and his co-workers have some kind of juvenile game going on involving doctoring and stealing each others food supplies. Nothing dangerous - things like taking a mallet to someone's supply of crunchie bars so they get packets of crumbs. Carefully removing a choc bar and resealing the wrapper with pens inside. Stupid stuff. He came home last night miffed because someone had put tea leaves into his coffee jar so he couldn't have a decent coffee all day.

He was trying to think of his next move. I suggested tampons dipped in beetroot juice. Apparently I'm way too evil lol. :D

My hubby and his co-workers have some kind of juvenile game going on involving doctoring and stealing each others food supplies. Nothing dangerous - things like taking a mallet to someone's supply of crunchie bars so they get packets of crumbs. Carefully removing a choc bar and resealing the wrapper with pens inside. Stupid stuff. He came home last night miffed because someone had put tea leaves into his coffee jar so he couldn't have a decent coffee all day.

He was trying to think of his next move. I suggested tampons dipped in beetroot juice. Apparently I'm way too evil lol. :D

Its so subtly evil, yet pure genious :D

first time i bought tampons for a girl...

im in HS... dating the girl who is now forever known and The Evil Jen... tho' really, i think my divorcee ex outdid her and then some... off topic...

so the Evil Jen needs some girl supplies and i go. fine. im fine with it.

so i go to get the tampons and im immediately overwhelmed by the selection process. pink? blue? wings? heavy? ...

so i pick and run with it. i figure being dumb and wrong and trying is better than anything else...

...

an aside... that, right there, is the cause of at least ten years of later frustration and angst... jus' saying...

...

back to scene...

so i decide, after grabbing the box, that itd be less conspicuous if i had a few other things in the cart. you know... pads, popcorn, pepsi, and peanut m&ms...

so i stroll up and lay it all out. ready to pay and roll and what do i hear?

"price check. aisle four. kotex regular maxi's"

...

no f'ing way. at this point, i could just die. i mean just charge me three times the market value of a pad.... i dont care.

there's three people behind me and you want to see if i can save a buck or less on my snotty gf's pads?

seriously. some things are worth paying an extra dime for...

=P

I can beat that! :eek:

A friend of mine is a green beret in the army. He was stationed in Iraq during Shock and Awe. His troops needed some items... specifically condoms. Well, since Iraq was a "no sex zone" and he couldn't ask his wife... and my husband's gun shop was supplying them with gear they could not get from the government, Randy asked my hubby to get him some condoms...

You see, at that time the military could not buy condoms in gross in Iraq. Why in gross you ask?


Condoms come in handy to cover the barrel of a gun during a sand storm.

Well, my darling husband asks me to go to the pharmacy to buy as many unlubricated condoms as the store has in stock.

I have the company credit card.

I arrive at the check out...

Now mind you I am from a very small town and come from a VERY influential family. The pharmacist is my in-law's next door neighbor.

So, there's no one in line at the check out but little 'ole me. I plop the basket full of condoms on the counter. Lo and behold the lady at the check out was one of the nosy busybodies of our church and she looked at me with astonishment.

I just grinned and blushed.

She swiped the credit card...

It did not read.

Three people now in line behind me.

She swipes the card again and it still doesn't read.

Now, our Mayor (he's also our veterinarian) is in line and recognizes me. He comes up to me, shakes my hand and asks how my in-laws are doing. I'm trying to position myself between him and my "merchandise" when he sees what I have on the counter. His eyes get wide. Then he asks...

What have you got there Janine?

My reply? "Ummm, just some condoms for a friend." It was then I realized how that sounded. He looked at me with wide eyes.

I tried to explain that condoms are important to put on the barrel of a gun. :eek:

I still have not lived that day down and the troop we sent them too had a great laugh and many of them came to shake my hand when they came home. They awarded me with Iraqi money with Sadam's picture on it as well as a medal for going above and beyond my duties as a civilian.

TRUE STORY!

i can beat that! :eek:

A friend of mine is a green beret in the army. He was stationed in iraq during shock and awe. His troops needed some items....specifically condoms. Well, since iraq was a "no sex zone" and he couldn't ask his wife....and my husband's gun shop was supplying them with gear they could not get from the government, randy asked my hubby to get him some condoms....

You see, at that time the military could not buy condoms in gross in iraq. Why in gross you ask?


Condoms come in handy to cover the barrel of a gun during a sand storm.

Well, my darling husband asks me to go to the pharmacy to buy as many unlubricated condoms as the store has in stock.

I have the company credit card.

I arrive at the check out...

Now mind you i am from a very small town and come from a very influential family. The pharmacist is my in-law's next door neighbor.

So, there's no one in line at the check out but little 'ole me. I plop the basket full of condoms on the counter. Lo and behold the lady at the check out was one of the nosy busybodies of our church and she looked at me with astonishment.

I just grinned and blushed.

She swiped the credit card....

It did not read.

Three people now in line behind me.

She swipes the card again and it still doesn't read.

Now, our mayor (he's also our veterinarian) is in line and recognizes me. He comes up to me, shakes my hand and asks how my in-laws are doing. I'm trying to position myself between him and my "merchandise" when he sees what i have on the counter. His eyes get wide. Then he asks....

What have you got there janine?

My reply? "ummm, just some condoms for a friend." it was then i realized how that sounded. He looked at me with wide eyes.

I tried to explain that condoms are important to put on the barrel of a gun. :eek:

I still have not lived that day down and the troop we sent them too had a great laugh and many of them came to shake my hand when they came home. They awarded me with iraqi money with sadam's picture on it as well as a medal for going above and beyond my duties as a civilian.

True story!

:d:d:d

He was trying to think of his next move. I suggested tampons dipped in beetroot juice. Apparently I'm way too evil lol. :D

You are so bad, but beetroot juice won't work. Red jello would work better. That is my evil best :D

Tick

Why don't they put all traffic lights on sensors so that you aren't sitting at a red light for 10 minutes at 3:00 a.m. when no one is coming from any direction?

Here here... I live in a small town of about 5000 and yes that's what they do. It is so bloody irritating coming home at 0500 from a client and I am sitting at a light five minutes from my home (when I have had all green lights all the way) and there is no alternative. It would be just my luck to get caught if I ran it.

Tick

J... showed my sister your story about the condoms... She's still laughing.

You are so bad, but beetroot juice wont work. Red jello would work better. That is my evil best :D

tick

I think you may be even more evil than me. You've obviously thought that through lol.

J - Loving the condom story too. :D

I think you may be even more evil than me. You've obviously thought that through lol.

J - Loving the condom story too. :D

***rubbing hands and cackling with glee**** you should see my pic you would understand completely how evil I am... mmmmwawawawahhhhhhhaaaa... :D

***rubbing hands and cackling with glee**** you should see my pic you would understand completely how evil I am........mmmmwawawawahhhhhhhaaaa....:D

Have you put a pic on somewhere? I would love the link if you have. I'm so nosey...

Here's one from me to KP...

YouTube - Silk - Freak Me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLwW7ZDWn5Y)

Freaking hilarious J!

Here's one from me to KP...

YouTube - Silk - Freak Me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLwW7ZDWn5Y)




Yowza... he'll blush.:D

One of my first jobs was at a groccery store. I was a cashier and this SUPER hot guy came in, with he perhaps the largest box of Trojans I have ever seen. Of course it doesn't scan. I call on the loud phone for a price check, thinking the guys would come up and ask me what I needed. Nope they called back, and asked what the product was. There was a HUGE line up, I have to go into detail about what type, brand flavor, color, super sensitive, ribbed for double her pleasure... The guy I was asking was a good friend of mine from school, but I died a little in side.

Yowza....he'll blush.:D

I seriously doubt that. LOL:p

My reply? "Ummm, just some condoms for a friend."
two asides to that aside...

Used to run a lab early in first semester that involved beer. I mean, if you want to get younger-than-20-somethings interested in lab at 8am, beer isn't a bad way to go.

Basically, they'd distill it and test the distillate and see how the process could determine the rough alcohol content of the beer. Yes... that info is on the box, but I was trying to teach a separation technique to a bunch of uninterested kids... so... smoke what 'cha got.

So in prep for that week id hit the grocery store. Buy cases and cases of beer. Tell the wide-eyed clerk "its for a chem lab"...

The look I'd get was "riiiiighhhht"... a bunch o beer bought on the weekend for a lab experiment. Like that isn't used ALL THE TIME"...

Second one... a play off the first...

I'm running Da Beer Lab about an hour in... the distillations are setup... things are hot and heavy. Not a lot of time to do much else right now but pay attention. Cleanup is at the end.

Well... all to hell... wouldn't you know a campus tour comes through the wing. And my labs, being newly remodelled, are often a point of interest.

So... its an odd moment to be in a lab when an inpromptu tour comes through... with ten sets o' parents looking worried about the beer cans all over the lab... and their respective kids... looking like the school just jumped a notch higher on their party school rating list...

Ja had to be there.

Though to be honest... it was the cheapest darn beer available...

two asides to that aside...

used to run a lab early in first semester that involved beer. i mean, if you want to get younger-than-20-somethings interested in lab at 8am, beer isnt a bad way to go.

basically, they'd distill it and test the distillate and see how the process could determine the rough alcohol content of the beer. yes... that info is on the box, but i was trying to teach a separation technique to a bunch of uninterested kids... so... smoke what 'cha got.

so in prep for that week id hit the grocery store. buy cases and cases of beer. tell the wide-eyed clerk "its for a chem lab"...

the look i'd get was "riiiiighhhht"... a bunch o beer bought on the weekend for a lab experiment. like that isnt used ALL THE TIME"...

second one... a play off the first...

im running Da Beer Lab about an hour in... the distillations are setup... things are hot and heavy. not a lot of time to do much else right now but pay attention. cleanup is at the end.

well... all to hell... wouldnt you know a campus tour comes through the wing. and my labs, being newly remodelled, are often a point of interest.

so... its an odd moment to be in a lab when an inpromptu tour comes through... with ten sets o' parents looking worried about the beer cans all over the lab... and their respective kids... looking like the school just jumped a notch higher on their party school rating list...

ja had to be there.

tho to be honest... it was the cheapest darn beer available...

The condoms cracked me up... I can picture it... :D

Here's one from me to KP...

YouTube - Silk - Freak Me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLwW7ZDWn5Y)

Smiles your way...

But I don't agree with their technique.

Licking up and down is just way too one dimensional and ignores a whole lot o' other aspects.

At least for the guy helping out the girl.

Agree.

'nother condom story.

Good friend is in town. She's cute. Too good for her own good. Plays by the rules and played by arses whove done her wrong.

So... she's in town and doing business daytime, playing at the bar at night. So one night she gets hit on, apparently (I wasn't out that night), by a younger, cute guy.

Things heat up. She goes to her room. Her girlfriend gives the guy her room number. He goes. She is thrilled.

It gets really hot and there's the moment of no turning back. But... a... pause...

She doesn't have BC... he doesn't either (FIDIOT!)... so... what next?

They check out the hotel desk. Nope.

... now... why on Gods Green Earth shouldn't there be at least three federal laws governing the stock of birth control at hotels is beyond me...

So... they run from the lobby to closed store to closed store..

An hour and change later... they decide its just better to say goodnight and walk separate ways.

So... always remember... you are in charge of your own BC... hotel lobbys aren't always there for you... and don't start something you can't finish, boys.

smiles your way....

but i dont agree with their technique.

licking up and down is just way too one dimensional and ignores a whole lot o' other aspects.

at least for the guy helping out the girl.

What about the girl helping out the guy?

Haha been there, done that.

smiles your way....

but i dont agree with their technique.

licking up and down is just way too one dimensional and ignores a whole lot o' other aspects.

at least for the guy helping out the girl.

Going to cry myself to sleep now.

Firm grip. Patient pace. Second hand engaging "peripheral" interests. Confusion is good.

Different angles give different feelings.

...

Awesome...

...

Uhm...

...

Two lines in on a post and blood is diverted from me brain.

Its awesome never growing older than 16...

K, time for a cold shower. See you guys in 10.

smiles your way....

but i dont agree with their technique.

licking up and down is just way too one dimensional and ignores a whole lot o' other aspects.

at least for the guy helping out the girl.

Continue.

In detail please.

Leave nothing out.

Not. One. Thing!

Thanks. :)

Going to cry myself to sleep now.

I've said this before, ad nauseum...

Women get the short stick concerning sex.

Why?

Because, in my experience, one woman can be SO DIFFERENTLY wired than the next concerning oral...

The things by lover before the last one absolutely went nuts for... the last one HATED.

I've rarely had a bad andhay objay... and even the bad ones were worth it.

However, I know I've given lousy oral... either by youthful ignorance... bad info... or just not enough time to understand the woman.

Hell... it was six years into my last relationship when I discovered a couple of things that made oral give her orgasms damn near all the time instead of some of the time. It wasn't like I wasn't informed or paying attention or interested...

... just an "aha" moment...

...

Damned if I could take those orgasms back... sorry... bitter divorce moment there. ;)

Smiley face icons make everything o-tay.

damned if I could take those orgasms back

Send them over here. Pretty please.

Lately my shower head and I have formed a very intimate relationship. Hubby, nights, money stress, kids, illness, it makes for a very frustrating sex life. TMI?

So F.R.E.D. the shower head is about the only action I've been getting lately. He's okay, but the conversation is lousy, and he's cold, not a romantic, doesn't ever hold me after. All in all, he's a cheap thrill.

I'd be thrilled if someone would just farking hug me without me asking. :(

Sorry. I had a moment there too. KP, meet me in the moment room. Let's get this out of our system.

Continue.

In detail please.

Leave nothing out.

Not. One. Thing!

Thanks. :)

Just not that simple as to script it.

The only constants I can give are I like the edge of the bed, a pillow under her rear for the right angle...

After that, its all about that particular girl...

The only constant I might say is Don't go to the cl!toris until she damn near pulls you there.

And boys, including me, often don't take the time to take the time to get to that point...

Sexual tension is good, and requires patience and deliberate playfullness.

k.

Really wanting pad thai right now...

Alty...

Is it just me, or does water just taste better off a lover skin?

Really... its just a million billion times better off skin.

And I'm not a fan of shower sex... though something is better than nada.. I just think the best sex happens out of the bathroom...

... prove me wrong?

... but I stand by that... tasting the water off a lovers body is just incredible.

alty...

is it just me, or does water just taste better off of a lover skin?

really... its just a million billion times better off of skin.

and im not a fan of shower sex... tho somethin' is better than nada.. i just think the best sex happens out of the bathroom...

... prove me wrong?

... but i stand by that... tasting the water off of a lovers body is just incredible.

It's not just you, but...

There's something about the feel of water touching your skin, lips licking it off. The salt mixing with the water. The temperature, the body heat. Sigh.

Shower sex isn't my first choice, but like you said, something is better then nothing. There is something to be said about the feel of the water drops, the smell of the soap, the shampoo, lathering up your partner, cleaning, caressing, touching, exploring... is it hot in here?

Thread is this? Who the f cares? Not me. ;)

Where were we? Oh yes, the shower.

I need a hug!

What do I do with this ice sculpture after it melts?

What do I do with this ice sculpture after it melts?

Mop it up! :)

Hello J:

If this is the place for random thoughts, my mind wanders more than most...

Here I am, watching Morning Joe, where they just declared Henry Waxman to be to most powerful Democrat in Washington... I know Henry. In 1968 he was the president of the Beverly Hills Young Democrats, and I was a member. When his term was over, he asked me to run to replace him. I did...

So, there we were, two people starting a political career from the same place. Now, he's the most powerful guy in congress, and I'm here talking to you... Whassa matter with this picture?

excon

Hello J:



So, there we were, two people starting a political career from the same place. Now, he's the most powerful guy in congress, and I'm here talking to you... Whassa matter with this picture?

excon

Randomly replying, its because you weren't driven the same way as he. Your inner self took you in another direction, and anyway you are here, maybe not where you thought you would be, but in your life you probably did something else that was equally satisfying to you. I don't see anything wrong with this particular picture. AMHD couldn't get along without your input on many issues, exxy. You are making a difference here is what I think.

tick

You are making a difference here is what I think.Hello tick:

Thanks for saying that... We're both trying to save the world, aren't we? I'm just doing it one person at a time.

Anyway, I was just feeling sorry for myself. It was momentary. Never mind.

excon

Hey Ex, want to hug? Or maybe a shower?

Wow... things are heating up... wonder what significant others would think if they viewed some of these posts! Don't you know that Playing with fire will get you burned kids... :)

Wow....things are heating up....wonder what significant others would think if they viewed some of these posts!! Don't you know that Playing with fire will get you burned kids...:)

Doula, my significant other reads any of my posts he wants to read. I'm a flirt, he knows it, but he also knows that it's just talk, not action.

I'm a firm believer that "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home". ;)