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almita11
Jun 10, 2010, 10:09 AM
I met my lover 3 years ago, he was only my friend. Until just recently we went out.. and after 3months I'm pregnant of him... his wife found out about us, but does not know of the baby.. he has separated from her and is now living with his mom.. I don't know what to do, should I have this baby... I know there is a possible chance that he can get back together with her as I could also end up with him or neither... but I just don't know what to do about my baby.. im 22 and I am a college student. He has been married for 12 years has a daughter and a son.

Fr_Chuck
Jun 10, 2010, 10:21 AM
First even if he comes to you, his record shows most likely he will be cheating on you ( if he is not already)

And obviously you knew he was married when you were sleeping with him. So you knew this could happen. The baby did not ask for all of this drama, but there is one, or could soon be.

I do always feel adoption is a good choice for young women not ready to be mothers ( well not having sex to get pregnant a better one) but only you can make that choice.

If you keep the baby, be sure to file for custody, and get child support for the child.

jaccarson
Jun 13, 2010, 08:02 PM
Welll hun, there's no simple answer to the question. In any instance, any step that you take is going to be the wrong step. I know because Im in the same situation.
I am 8 months pregnant for a married man. He's been married 6 or 7 years and has no children. When we first started talking, there was no mention of a partner. He said that he thought I knew. I shouldve walked away then and stayed away but I didn't. So now, 1 1/2 later, Im pregnant and he's telling me how Im trying to ruin his life. He said he cannot have a happy and healthy marriage after he tell his wife about the baby.
Well, I wasn't going to have an abortion. I made my mind up about that months ago. I don't need his help and don't want anything from him. I do not believe in having a baby sucked down a drain because my stupidity took me somewhere that it wasn't supposed to. I laid down and now I have to accept what comes along with it. I have had an abortion in the past and would not be able to live with myself if I did it again.
Our situations are similar but not the same. His wife does not know about me. Im glad that she doesn't and I really hope that he does go on with his life and forgets about us because I don't need someone in my life to pretend that he wants to be there when he never wanted the baby all along. Do what you have to do, have your baby and take care of it, and never listen to a bunch of people who are negative and have never been in your situation. You listened to your heart in the beginning, listen to what it's telling you now.

Kitkat22
Jun 13, 2010, 08:34 PM
The baby didn't ask to be conceived and now that it is, you have to be the one who makes the decision of your life.

That baby is there and if you don't want it there are lots of people who would adopt You made the mistake of getting pregnant by a married man... We've all made mistakes we wish we could take back. We can't.

This is my opinion . You're
Going to do what you want to do.
Adoption is the best way if you don't want this child.

Think long and hard about your decision. Good Luck and I'm sorry you are going through this.