Hi I was two times out with a man whom I met on the dating site.To arrange these meetings he always texts me, he texted me between the meetings too. But somehow I am aware that he is not interested, because he never brought me flowers, talks a lot about his ex girlfriend who hurt him a lot in the past. He talks a lot but when he asks me a questions about myself he doesn't listen patiently,-wants to talk again..
He always texts every 2-3 days, never calls.
I feel that this is really boring stage of relationship or friendship and feel that he is really not into me. But after the two meetings he still asked me out. We have to meet tomorrow, but he did not confirmed the time, hour and place yet,just sent me a text wishing nice day.. confused:
I don't feel happy, I feel as if I am not really needed what should I do? Shall I still go to meet him as if I don't feel that he is not interested, and see how it would eventually fade away anyway?

Thanks for your answers!

It sounds like you do not have an interest in him. Honestly why do you feel obligated to go out with this guy if you do not like him.

You are not obligated to go out with him.
You say thanks but no thanks and that will be the end of it.

It sounds like he isn't ready for a relationship with anyone because he is still in a relationship with his ex. Technically they may not be a couple (I have some doubts about that), but he is still caught up in that relationship and using you as a counselor. You don't have to let him.

For future reference, in any relationship, you are his equal and not employed by him to be his counselor. You can ask that he call instead of texting. You can walk away with no regrets if the relationship isn't working out. Though, I wouldn't call this one a relationship.

Let him continue to entertain himself and find someone more compatible for you.

Thank you very much to all!

As an ex player myself trust me he's playing you, he'l have at least another 1 or 2 other women on the go as well as you which is why it's difficult for him to call you.

Hi, please advise me.
I am seeing this man, which is quite I would say romantic. He sends me text messages with nice wishes , etc. This texting escalates into conversations.We met 4 times only in different caffes, went for a walk and had relaxing time. Then he goes to his house and I go to mine. After 2 days he texts me again with good wishes I text him back.Everything would be fine but I feel that I really fed up with texting. I told him that I am tired of texting. He said that he will call and he didn't. He said that he only have credit for texting but he will put money for calling to me.He said that texting he doesn't like also and told me that he will call. But he didn't call me, even though he arranged the time to call and didn't.. Later he just sent me a text withouth saying anything why he didn't call as promised. . Later I asked him why didn't he call was just wandering why is that.He said he didn't have money on the phone. What is it? Does that mean that he finds it difficult to put some money just to give a quick call and say hello? Doesn't man have to call to a woman if he likes her? ( at least that's what he is saying all the time).He tries to kiss me when we meet ( I do not feel that I want it) but I feel that he just wants to take me for granted- no flowers, no phone calls.If a man likes a woman the way he does ( his texts are always romantic and warm) doesn't he give her flowers? Can he be a cheapskate? I don't know why I think that. He looks into the price when ordering something and takes the cheepest one for himself.Of course I feel that would be making a crime if I order something for the bigger price...
I know I am making issues of it but small thing together make a big mountain. This texting thing got me and he knows that but he still texts..
Today he sent me another very warm and beautiful text but I am sooo tired of this texting and don't want to text back, I know it would be rude, but I just tired. If I answer him this texting would go for ages.I will be angry inside me also all that time.. But My guess is that if will not text him back, after sending me another text message he will quit with me altogether.. He is good man and would be sad to loose him just because of the text-communication cannot be changed to the calls from his side

Well, to start with how did u guys meet? And what kind of job does he have? Maybe money is really tight and he really can't afford to put money on his phone or buy something expensive from the menu. Or maybe he really is cheap just see what happens if u don't text back

well, to start with how did u guys meet? and what kind of job does he have? maybe money is really tight and he really can't afford to put money on his phone or buy something expensive from the menu. or maybe he really is cheap just see what happens if u dont text back

We met on line 7 months ago. Started going out at the beginning of this month. I don't need expensive things but doesn't man really to have to work a bit harder to get to the woman< like bringing a flower doesn't cost a fortune or calling - if he puts in his mobile a couple of pounds just to call me in the beginning of the week to arrange the meeting date on Saturday and then to confirm a date again on Friday,I would appreciate that a lot. I would feel certain this man likes me. If I also spend my money texting him back we are equal, he doesn't really tries to win me as in normal dating as our dads and moms did.. ( he is an ingeneer by the way).

Maybe he is a poor engineer. Who knows, but its obvious you expect a lot, and he can't give it, for whatever reason. Never heard of an engineer who can't afford a payment plan on his cell phone though.

Why haven't you called him would be my question. And if he can't do what you want, why are you wasting your time. Get an old fashion guy, who calls, and buys flowers why dontcha.

Is he still talking about his ex?

He may have other commitments where his money is going. Child support, family, rent, food, etc. The ex he talks about may have left him with some bills he is still paying off. His internet may be costing him a fortune. He could have student loans that take up a good bit of his salary or he could have had a very bad childhood and is saving his money so he doesn't end up without any should something negative happen.

You haven't been 'dating' him very long. You don't have to date someone who seems to have lead you on while you were corresponding on the dating site.

I am still wondering if he is in a relationship and seeing you on the side.

Communicate with him and work out a compromise or move on to someone who fits your concept of a partner better.

Maybe he is a poor engineer. Who knows, but its obvious you expect a lot, and he can't give it, for whatever reason. Never heard of an engineer who can't afford a payment plan on his cell phone though.

Why haven't you called him would be my question. And if he can't do what you want, why are you wasting your time. Get an old fashion guy, who calls, and buys flowers why dontcha.

I did call him.

As an ex player myself trust me he's playing you, he'l have at least another 1 or 2 other women on the go as well as you which is why it's difficult for him to call you.

Can I ask you a question as an ex player, please? How to become the one and only for a man who dates /has more than one other woman?:rolleyes:

It's not about the woman, but about him. When he wants to settle down he will, when he meets that woman who strikes him, he will.
You don't become someone or something to make a man want you. He wants you for who you are or he doesn't want you.

Can I ask you a question as an ex player, please? How to become the one and only for a man who dates /has more than one other woman?:rolleyes:

Unfortunately only he can decide that. I've been with my partner for coming up to a year now and wouldn't dream of cheating on her... the reason why, well I suppose it's because I don't want to lose her. When I played I was low, very low (don't know if you can read the first ever question I sent?) and I wasn't of a clear mind, it's as if I wanted to hurt the people I was playing for some reason, maybe to stop my hurt?? Although I never let them know I was playing them in my mind all was good, not nice I know but... it helped my get through a bad time.

Unfortunately only he can decide that. I've been with my partner for coming up to a year now and wouldn't dream of cheating on her...the reason why, well i suppose it's because i don't want to lose her. When I played I was low, very low (don't know if you can read the first ever question I sent?) and I wasn't of a clear mind, it's as if I wanted to hurt the people I was playing for some reason, maybe to stop my hurt??? Although I never let them know I was playing them in my mind all was good, not nice I know but......it helped my get through a bad time.

Thank you for your reply!Well if you are hurt you want to hurt ( or play) too. I understand what are you saying. That's maybe the case with my friend too, as he divorced his wife whom he loved a lot.. ( re your first post -I only managed to find out your question about who came first chicken or egg:))

Ah, well my first question was quite deep a I was very VERY low, luckily I'm fine now and feel that if I can help someone else then that's great. Good luck and I hope you've moved on from the player and hope you find happiness again soon.

Are you sure he's not married or involved with someone else?

Are you sure hes not married or involved with someone else?
I'm wondering the same thing

Hi, I only saw this guy 5 times. That is we have been dating for only a month. Did't kissed yet .He suggested we go to the beach. Shall I go or not?
Thank you

Umm why not? Going to the beach is just another place to go for a date.

Where have you been going the other times?
It's a date. He's not asking you to go to bed.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/man-doesnt-call-but-texts-477629.html

Is this the same guy?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/man-doesnt-call-but-texts-477629.html

Is this the same guy?

I'd like to know that too. That give this a new twist.

Hi, I date a man because he is better than nothing. My question is: is it better to have better than nothing and go out (though I do not really like him ) or just to sit at home and swear at the destiny not to sending me 'the one'.. There are nice days , summer is great and I don't want to be at home alone. What shall I do?

Hang out with friends male and or female!
Dating someone because you feel they are better than nothing is condescending and tacky.

You are selling yourself short and it's not fair to the guy. You don't need anyone to complete you. Be happy by yourself and then you'll have the confidence to meet guys you like.

You are selling yourself short and it's not fair to the guy. You don't need anyone to complete you. Be happy by yourself and then you'll have the confidence to meet guys you like.
Have to spread some rep, but you are right KitKat

Have to spread some rep, but you are right KitKat




And so are you as usual:)

Hi, Klaipeda!

As far as intimate relationships are concerned, I think that it's far better to have nothing and feel happy about who and what I am, than to have something where I'm not happy with having it and where also having it causes me to think that I should have something else that will make me happy.

It's a never ending cycle of need, when people aren't truly happy with who and what they are by themselves.

I'm literally never bored and also never feel as though I need someone else to complete the person who I am.

Thanks!

Just a quick question.

We need to know what your quick question is. So far you have only made a statement that doesn't mean much without a question.

Hi, Klaipeda!

As far as intimate relationships are concerned, I think that it's far better to have nothing and feel happy about who and what I am, than to have something where I'm not happy with having it and where also having it causes me to think that I should have something else that will make me happy.

It's a never ending cycle of need, when people aren't truly happy with who and what they are by themselves.

I'm literally never bored and also never feel as though I need someone else to complete the person who I am.

Thanks!

Good advice Clough!

QUOTE by Kitkat22
You are selling yourself short and it's not fair to the guy. You don't need anyone to complete you. Be happy by yourself and then you'll have the confidence to meet guys you like.

I am not English and some sayings are puzzle to me. Can you explain please what is to 'selling yourself short'?

Have to spread some rep, but you are right KitKat

What does it mean 'to spread some reputation'? How can I do that? I am not a student and do not have groups of friends to hung out anymore.

I am not English and some sayings are puzzle to me. Can you explain please what is to 'selling yourself short'?


You are not looking at the good qualities you have! You need to see the person you are and be happy with you. I'll bet you're smart, attractive and have a lot of great qualities. Look at those qualites and don't settle for anything but the best. You may be surprised at what you find.

Thank to all really helpful!


We need to know what your quick question is. So far you have only made a statement that doesnt mean much without a question.

Sorry, my computer stuck and I couldn't print the remaining 'story':)
The guy I date tells me nice words, so nice that I'm melting. Really beautiful. But sometimes he does not respond to my sms. Should I think he just is not serious or what else should I think?
Thank you!

thank to all really helpfull!

You keep psting sweetie... we'll help you find the answers if we can.. OK?:)

What does it mean 'to spread some reputation'? How can I do that? I am not a student and do not have groups of friends to hung out anymore.

Spread some reputation means you agree or disagree. OK:)

You keep psting sweetie....we'll help you find the answers if we can..OK?:)

Thank you , very nice of you!
Another question is: you are saying that I need to find the man I really like and am happy with or stay alone and be happy with myself. I do understand that there's no biggest true. The pint only is that this guy really cares about me..

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/man-doesnt-call-but-texts-477629.html

Is this the same guy?

Yes it is the same guy! Waiting for your reply.. Thank you!!

thank you , very nice of you!
another question is: you are saying that I need to find the man I really like and am happy with or stay alone and be happy with myself. I do understand that there's no biggest true. The pint only is that this guy really cares about me..




There will be others who may care more. Be happy being by yourself for a while. The right one will come along.

Are you sure hes not married or involved with someone else?

No I am not sure. How can I be sure. He can hide if he wants to. I don't know how to check him. I decided not to go to bed with him for a year or two. He lives in a shared home and I am not going home with him.. We meet only outside.So if he wants sex he needs to release me after I refuse to sleep with him when he decides to.. If he would be fine without sex for long time than it would proof something to me..

Talaniman Rule-Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18-80, blind, cripple, or crazy!!

The point, enjoy getting to really know people and have a great time before you commit to just one!!

Save the sex for just that one.

I agree

Hi
I have been going out with the man that I see likes me a lot. He is very kind, polite and cares about me- takes me out for a walk on weekends and is very attentive and in the end of the day he takes me for a meal.
But when he texts me and I respond to him, he sometimes does not respond back. Previously I was asking about this guy and I had advice that he might be playing with me.So the best advice probably for me would be to talk straight to him. But I know that people do lie and feel threatened and they tend to close up when confronted with a question 'where have you been' or 'why didn't you respond to my sms'?

This confronting behaviour is sometimes addicted-once insecure about your friend-allways insecure! One can be questioning his date on even the smallest things that may looke normal to other people..
And it will ruin the romance in the date and relationships.
I just thinking that it maybe my case too. But What if I just give him some space and not overreact and will not ask him to explain himself ? We did not have a sex yet and I can refuse until I am ready. He doesn't mind.
So what if I just relax doing another things insead of asking him to explain himself when he doesn't respond to my messages or etc? Will I looke like a stupid cow being pushed around? Will he start liking me less?

Thanks very much for your answers!:)

Have you seen how much texting costs if you exceed your limit!!

Have you seen how much texting costs if you exceed your limit!!!

You mean he might be short of credits?

If he text you and you reply there really is no reason for him to reply to your reply.
As long as he texts and calls and takes you out and is nice, don't worry about.
Maybe he does not like to text.
I know I hate it.

Could be a whole cornucopia of reasons he does not text back all the time. Personally, I find some people replace actual phone conversations in favor of texting. If so, be prepared to text back and fourth for hours on end. That one always perturbs me! No use in trying to figure it out. I'd not jump to conclusions about it, if he cuts you of completely you would have something to concern yourself with, until then...

The phone has to be cheaper, and you seem to put a lot on texts. That in itself is a mistake. Relationship are about how you interact in real life, not how much texting you do.

You leave this man alone. There are red flags everywhere. Do you want to end up on the six o'clock news as a victim?

Don't think it can't happen? Watch the news and read the Newspaper. Leave this guy alone!

I'd agree with T-man but I forgot about this spread reputation gig the site has going.

Anyway, I think six pages and counting for a simple 'he's not texting me back' is a ironic comment about the situation itself. Wayyy too much thought into a very small matter. Just go out and base your feelings and such on that, like T suggests above.

This texting business is really out of control in my opinion and it has gotten way too much of your attention. I'll admit I do text alot; however, only in response to over texting women. Meaning: I thought (being a casual social network/technology user) that texts were reserved for instances such as ' I'll be there in 5 min'. Much to my dismay - and pocket change - I noticed some ladies were using it as a means of actual conversation. Example: 'I'm bored, what are you doing? Or 'work sucks today' prompting me having to respond with 'why?' and so the nonsense begins.

This type of texting is too much sometimes and I suspect it is what is happening here. This guy will see you (physically show up) but does not return all of your texts. If it is anything like the above situations, more sypathetic to him I could not be.

I'm done. Relax a little and stop worrying. I can contribute no more.