Hi all,

I'm 29 yo,medical student in last year of study,I met my girlfriend 8 months ago,she is 22 yo,we both were ready for a serious relationship,because she actually never had occasional sex,in the beginning we used to meet quite a lot , after a month or so we had sex for the first time,after we came back from a disco... ever since I felt I'm falling in love with her,she felt the same,our relation went VERY fast,we were meeting almost every day,talking on phone hours and hours,having sex every day or at least 5 times a week.She never complained of any pain,she was always ready to have sex with me,we respect each other a lot,she always says I'm good in bed,she is gorgeous also.I buy her gifts and flowers all the time,talk to her younger sister as if she was my own sister,all my friends say she's a great girl,she likes my friends and I like hers... I really feel truly loved by this girl.

It all begun 3 months ago,she moved to live with me,we lived together 2 months... she started complaining of pains in her genitals because of the sex,and during the sex.She kept saying that I don't excite her enough before penetration and she is not wet enough... I tried oral,69,touching etc etc more often but still she kept detaching from sex... I have my own place,so there is no pressure from anyone,but she doesn't want to come to me like before.She doesn't look for sexual satisfaction anymore,although she keeps saying she's horny and she wants me... we have sex about once every 7 to 10 days.and when we have we both feel great.

She says to me she isn't no "sex machine" and that if I scream on her she doesn't desire me,and stuff like that (the lack of sex and her unwillingness to have sex have led to us having a "heavy discussion",and made me nervous,I masturbate almost every day,and she knows that,she just say to me don't do that,we will have sex,I actually wait sometimes but I get frustrated and masturbate).

Lately she bacame very gelous,she doesn't want me to look at people on the street,girls passing,I don't look at girls like sexual attraction,I don't even look!!

I asked her simply if she didn't fancy me, if she was going off me to which she laughed and said "of course not! I still really fancy you!".
She reassured me that it's not me, and that I am still very attractive to her.
Every time I try to talk to her about this subject she finds excuses and gets angry and she says she can't make sex with someone who argues with her... I'm being patient because I love her and I know she loves me a lot.


What to do about this or what's going on? I'm terrified she's going off me, or has gone off me and will end up terminating the relationship.
There's a saying "that sex is a good barometer of a relationship"!

Thank you for your time,please write your opinions I really need it... and I don't want to loose her,we already talked about marriage plans for next year and she's just helpful and great.

Any advice welcome.

My advice would be to try and slow it up and not worry too much, but that's just from my experiences with girl friends I think when you give them more space and they don't think your worrying too much they realize how much they really do love you and want to be with you and then please you. Just some personal advice I don't want it to back fire and her to think you lost interest just give her room to let her rember how much she really loves you. Do fun activities that you know she likes and express the things that you know she has always liked about you and make memories out of it, and I would say don't push for sex too much wait for her to be in the mood and after that I think things should get better like they were before. But once again just my personal advice.

my advice would be to try and slow it up and not worry to much, but thats just from my experiences with girl friends I think when you give them more space and they dont think your worrying to much they realize how much they really do love you and want to be with you and then please you. Just some personal advice i dont want it to back fire and her to think you lost intrest just give her room to let her rember how much she really loves you. Do fun activities that you know she likes and express the things that you know she has always liked about you and make memories out of it, and I would say dont push for sex to much wait for her to be in the mood and after that i think things should get better like they were before. But once again just my personal advice.



I know what you mean,my worries are because I'm leaving the country in July for three months... Not talking about her cheating on me,because I'm sure she's loyal to me,but then she will want me and I won't be there to satisfy her and she'll get depressed,just like me now :) and probs will beginnn!! :confused:

First--NO CHAT SPEAK!

You are an ADULT! TYPE like an adult, not like a 13 year old who doesn't communicate with anyone except via text. FURTHER chat speak will convince me that you are NOT 29, but are actually 13, and will cause this thread to be deleted.

Second--Has she been to the doctor? Painful sex is a symptom of a LOT of problems--many of them enough to put ANYONE off sex. Some of these problems come with lowered testosterone, which means a lowered sex drive as well. She needs to see a doctor.

Third--back off for a bit. Moving in together is a HUGE step, because you no longer have the anticipation of seeing each other, which can be part of the build-up for sex.

Fourth--Is every romantic action you do a build-up of the expectation of sex? Nothing makes a woman feel like a whore like HAVING to put out just because you did something nice, romantic, or foreplay-ish. What I mean is this: do you do romantic things with NO expectation of sex? Candlelight dinners or bubble baths or back rubs that are NOT expected to lead to the bedroom? Do you think that every time a kiss gets passionate that it should naturally move on to the next step of foreplay--or are you content to leave it at kissing? It DOES get to the point where all of it is no fun if you EXPECT sex at the end of it.

Lighten up about sex! Go back to having fun touching and kissing and smooching and NOT expecting sex. The JOURNEY (teasing, touching, kissing, tickling, etc) is FAR more important than the destination (sex and an orgasm).

Thanks for the answer Synnen.
I just been trying to be more friendly,because I'm tired.
First of all,My girlfriend had cystitis,which is an acute(may also be recurrent) UTI.She was treated with AB's for 10 days.But now she's OK.
For more than 1 month we don't live together.most of the times we meet outside.
We all the time and everywhere play and touch and kiss like teenagers,but I never ask her for sex unless she mentions it.
Thanks again.

The flush of a new relationship, exploring everything that she is and her exploring you. Then we get comfortable and a lot of what we are starts to come through.

I think the first bit of this relationship, where you both fell really hard, was the 'honeymoon' aspect of it. Then things got a little more familiar and all the aspects that we sort of hid and glossed over start to come out.

You're a med student in your last year. You have a better education and are better able to diagnose possible medical problems. It is sounding very much like it.

Also, there seems to be some unhealthy tendencies in this relationship. I think it might be time to evaluate it. Is it really what you want. It seems to be going a little downhill, but not so far as to be unrecoverable. If you both want it.