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skiashley
Jun 7, 2010, 03:47 AM
I had this guy I dated a few years back he was the first guy that I can seriously say I was in love with. We had a serious relationship or at least I thought. After dating him for about a year I found out that he had cheated on me.

I broke up with him and now I'm with a new guy that I have been happy with. He has never done anything too make me thing he is cheating nothing serious. Every guy interacts with the opposite sex that isn't out of the ordinary. However for some weird reason I'm Always paranoid that I'm being cheated on.

Do you think that This is because of the experince I had with the guy in my past. Or do you think this is a sign that maybe something is wrong.

Devorameira
Jun 7, 2010, 04:49 AM
You’ve had a boyfriend cheat on you before, so I think that you never resolved your feelings about this, or worked through the hurt and loss you felt. Now you’re trying to project these same feelings onto your current boyfriend, who has done nothing to deserve the mistrust.

You need to remember that your new boyfriend is different and you are in a new situation. If he’s done nothing to indicate that he is a cheater, try to at least appear outwardly to trust him and with time you should feel the trust inwardly.

JoeCanada76
Jun 7, 2010, 05:12 AM
Yes, it is a sign that there is something wrong but not with your partner but with you. Yes, the reason why your paranoid is because of your past experience. The thing is if you bring your paranoia and your not completely over the cheating that happened in your last relationship then it can effect this relationship not in a good way.

So I suggest counseling for you to be able to work through your thoughts and maybe learn some way to move past the past. So you can enjoy the relationship your in now.

I wish
Jun 7, 2010, 07:41 AM
After you've been cheated on, your instincts are more sensitive. You're more aware and conscious of cheating signs.

There's also a factor of self-esteem. Since you've been cheated on before, you're sometimes afraid that it can happen again.

I'm not sure which is it. But here's my suggestion. If your partner is giving you reasons to doubt, then you should definitely confront him about those doubts.

But if he's giving you no reason to doubt, but you feel that you're the one feeling insecure, then work on building some self-esteem. Learn to trust your boyfriend, otherwise, it will only push you away from him.

floaton
Jun 7, 2010, 01:24 PM
It's going to be difficult but you've been hurt and it's going to stay with you for a long time. Keep reminding yourself that he is NOT your ex. He makes you happy and if you have an honest relationship with him then it should be fine.
Cheating signs are somewhat obvious because of things the guy says or does but if he's not acting sneaky or evasive then you're probably going to be fine.
Good luck.

woodsmith06
Jun 7, 2010, 02:15 PM
If he hasn't done anything to upset you I could understand why you seem a little wierded out. Just ask him whether he talks to other girls in the way you think. It sounds by his pattern that he will tell you the truth and whether it is what you think you expect to hear you will eventually findout the truth.

talaniman
Jun 10, 2010, 09:31 AM
You have to unpack your baggage from the past before you can enjoy what you have now. I think this is more you, than him, from what you have written.

Just don't act, or speak impulsively until you get a better handle on dealing with those feelings from the past.