I just turned 19 a couple weeks ago and am still a virgin. By virgin I mean never had sex, never been naked with a guy, never been touched, never even been kissed. Absolutely nothing. I turned down the guys that noticed me and wanted to date me because I didn't have feelings for them.

Now I asked this guy I met online if he would take my virginity. He's twice my age (38), and he says he no longer knows how many women he has had sex with. He says he has never had a pregnancy scare, and he routinely has himself checked for STIs. He is very, very open and comfortable with his sexuality and is a freak about using protection properly and breaking taboos about sex. I found all this out about him before I asked him, by the way.

He's also been adamant that we talk and get to know each other first--we've still barely touched on any details. He says we have to spend time hanging out first that day as well to make sure we are both still on board. If I had my way, we would have just had sex and parted ways without even knowing each other's last name.

I guess I expect people to think I am stupid/naive, rushing things, and likely going to regret this. I really feel like I just want sex and that if I wait, I will be an old, asexual virgin someday. It's probably really pointless for me to ask this. Still, I am curious what anyone thinks, and there is a small possibility I haven't thought of everything. Any thoughts or advice?

This is very foolish. Why the rush your only 19. It will not be meaningful and you could very well pick up aids, hiv and or heb b , etc. Just because somebody says they are clean does not mean they are. You need to counseling for sure.

You have your whole life ahead of you. This should be the least of your concern right now. Focus on career or schooling or job. Do not lower yourself to hooker status.

There is nothing wrong being a virgin, even if your in your mid 20's or late 20's or even 30's. What should be more important to you is finding that special someone that you plan on being with and exploring each other with and growing with each other.

You go through with this, I guarantee you will feel dirty and more lost and you will regret this for the rest of your life.

Oh, lord.

You're only (YES! ONLY! ) 19!

You have PLENTY of time to meet the right guy, and have incredible sex with him

If you go off with this guy from the internet--not only are you taking HORRIBLE risks, you're probably not going to enjoy the sex at all, since sex is more mental than physical anyway.

How about trying to DATE a guy, first?

I guarantee that if you LIVE to regret this, you WILL regret it.

I just talked my 21 year old friend from losing her virginity to a guy she barely knew. She also felt like she had waited for too long and just wanted it.

I told her to wait... That its not the fact that she hasn't had sex. It's that she hasn't been that close to anyone. She would feel terrible after, when she finds the right guy and couldn't give him her virginity.

You don't need to have sex. She ended up going out to a club picking up a guy who was a friend of a friend and had a good pash and a rub up againts each other.
That's all she needed.

I think you just want the closeness. Keep looking for a guy. There is one out there closer to your age. Your only young don't stress. I got my first boyfriend at 18. My sister was about 22 when she got her first boyfriend...

Go out with friends and have good times!

Things you may not have considered:

You don't know this guy, the way people portray themselves on the internet may be nothing like their real persona. He could be a creep, a loser, a serial killer for all you know. He could be married.

Contraception is not always effective. Imagine this results in a child who will one day grow up and ask about their father. Imagine having that conversation.

In a few weeks or months you might meet a really great guy who you can have the whole package with. Instead of your first time being with someone special you will have the memory of a one night stand with a stranger in your head when you get it together for real.

You have turned guys away because you don't have feelings for them yet are prepared to jump into bed with a guy you haven't even met. These aren't real feelings you have for this guy, you are trying to live out a fantasy here with him.

You need to ask yourself what it is that is stopping you actually getting to know guys in real life so that you are chasing a fantasy instead. If you can't work out the answer to that then do consider seeing a therapist who can help you work it out.

When I originally asked him, the risk was half the appeal. Except now that I've asked him and talk to him, I am met with someone rational who takes things very slow--maybe even too slow. The fact that I asked him and that he's up front about things most people would deny, that he isn't rushing anything, makes me trust him. He doesn't need me, I need him.

I mess things up with guys that I like, so at this point I'm not bothering with a relationship until I get my s*** together. However, I really want to know sex. I feel uncomfortable when people talk dirty or about their experiences because it's like they can see right through me. I feel vulnerable and not taken seriously. I feel like sex would shed the cutesy, innocent image and give me back some of my confidence. Also, I'm worried my family thinks I'm either outcast or gay because I've never dated. They've joked about me being gay. I feel like people can tell whether you're a virgin or not by the way you carry yourself, though I realize sex wouldn't automatically make me confident. I just think it would boost myself esteem a little.

Then the fact that he's an older guy helps because he won't be immature, he's bound to be less judgemental, and I'm hoping it guarantees he will know how to make it enjoyable for both of us. He doesn't see virginity as valuable, so I wouldn't be some conquest and he wouldn't think he won anything or had something over me. Also, I feel like I could become more experienced faster because he is so experienced.

I'm the last of my friends to be kissed and the last of my closest friends to have sex. I'm afraid it will take too long to get myself together and meet a great guy, and I do not want to pass up on an opportunity and become a really old virgin. Besides, if he was such a great guy, he wouldn't care about my past, right?

I never wanted to be with one partner my entire life anyway, so does it really make a difference if the first one is special? I've heard that I'm supposed to develop some attachment to whoever my first is too, but I don't see that happening either.

"really old", huh? Like what? 22?

Can you get YOURSELF off? Do you masturbate?

If not, you've got a rude surprise in wait for you when you have sex. EVERY woman is different, and if you don't know how to get yourself off, you're not going to be able to help someone ELSE get you off.

I think you're doing this for ALL the wrong reasons, and that you should find a better way to boost your self-esteem.

I think you should ALSO figure out why you mess things up with guys you date, because I'm betting it's at least partially deliberate.

See a counselor, not a guy you met online who's twice your age and has a different point of view on life than you do.

In your (OP) defense, you should be allowed to live life by your own rules without opposition.

A stranger you met online is a little hard to swallow, but I have known people who have done it quite a few times and they're still breathing. My advice, if you're going to go through with this, carry mace with you.

First of all, she is doing it because what. She is the last one to be kissed. So what.

She is doing it because people made fun of her and told her she is gay, so what.

Should it really matter what anybody else thinks?

I did not lose mine until I was in my late 20's. People used to tease me or make fun of me or think I was gay. So what. I started late.

You know what, I waited, and eventually I was with somebody that I wanted to be with and you know what it was better that way.

Afraid of taking too long, why? Your ONLY 19 and very immature for your age. Your only going to have the wrong impression about sex, and it WILL ruin you.

Having sex isn't going to transform you into another person. If anything it will highlight what you don't like about yourself and magnify each imperfection you think you have. Using yourself and someone else as sex toys (that's what you are doing if there are no emotions attached) will not do anything to make you feel better about yourself.

People will talk no matter what you do. Do you want them to speculate about your being gay or a slut (a word I happen to hate)? What do you think they would say if you turned up pregnant because Mr. Internet's record of safety was broken?

Confidence comes from inside. It comes from accepting yourself as you are and not what others think of you. It comes from you knowing that you are equal to anyone and everyone. It does not come from losing your virginity, getting breast implants, etc. Those only mask the underlying issues of doubting yourself.

You want confidence: Get involved in things that make you feel good about who you are as a person. Volunteer, go to school, do well at work, etc.

Build a healthy relationship with yourself. Look in the mirror in your own mind and see how wonderful you are. Find validation in yourself instead of others. If you give it to yourself no one else can take it away.

You shouldn't even be contemplating having sex until you have your life together enough to date (anyone of any age-preferably someone with more maturity than to think jumping in the sack is the sole reason for any relationship). Go through the natural progression of a relationship. Enjoy the journey. Take a cruise instead of an express flight.

As has been said, you can't believe everything someone tells you on the Internet. He could be married with children and looking for a bit tail on the side. He could be a Dominant looking for a Submissive and you could find yourself in the deep end of a pool you didn't even know existed. He could be a serial abuser looking for a new target. He could be 16 years old and reading Letters to Penthouse. 'He' could be 84 and a woman.

Okthe first poin that I want ot make clear is that yo are 19 and he is 38 big age difference, if anything find someone in your age group, I'm also 19, so I know exactly what you are feeling, but I think you have no need to rush, exspeciall wit a man twice your age. Work hard for a real relationship. Don't try to get things done the eazy (dangerous) way. Every one has a time to enjoy themselves wit some one just wait for that time. Don't rush the inevitable.

I kind of understand the way you feel. I've felt the pressure of being a virgin at 23, the last one out of my friends not to have done it. And I wanted to live it, I was so curious and just couldn't wait to see how it feels, what it's like etc. But I didn't let myself go with a stranger or someone with whom I wasn't in a relationship with. And I don't regret it because I met my boyfriend a year ago. And he didn't mind that I was a virgin, on the contrary.

Of course, it's your life, your decisions. I have a friend who did what you did and completely regreted it, I know of someone else who did and said she was happy she got to 'see what its like' before sharing it with a guy she really cared about.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can say that having sex is not just about the act in itself, it's about a connection with a person, a loving relationship that leads to sex... And your first time could be with someone like that. Why spoil it?

(And I agree with everyone else that says that it's also dangerous).

My advice to you would be calm down, don't rush it. It will happen when it happens, and its not a good thing to rush into.

A good idea, being that you are over 18 now, would be to go to a sex shop. Get yourself some toys that may help you get that release that your body is naturally and subconsciously searching for. That's mainly what it is. Your body knows its grown, and knows it WANTS that release. But you yourself need to think what is best for you. And at this age, you don't have to run off and have sex. Wait for the right time, with the right guy. It will be so much better for you if you do.

I don't even know what to say. I am just sick of waiting. I feel like I'm missing out. And yes, I do want closeness, but how many one night stands are strictly cuddling? I could save my first kiss for this "right guy", maybe. I kind of feel like that is supposed to be innocent.

I do not believe this guy is dangerous at all. I think if anything, I'm the bad guy in this scenario. Everything I know about him and his picture mesh. Either way, I could meet him in public. If he's an 84 year old woman or a 16 year old boy, I think I would know, and I could probably take him. I'm most concerned I won't find him attractive and/or change my mind last minute.

I could demand he gets tested, and he would have to wear a condom. I was on birth control until my prescription ran out, but I intend to go back on it. And I do know what feels good for me, at least.

I do work now, and one of the cashiers told me today that I was a "great person and great worker". I also found out today the school I want to go to wants me to join the honors program because my gpa is high enough or whatever. I am forcing myself to be social again, too, so I went to some campfire tonight with my friend and a bunch of people I don't know. Which some guy joked about me not wanting him to eat me (canibalism) and some other guy remarked about how most girls do and th first guy told him to shut up. And later they said I must be traumatized listening to them swear and joking about raping each other (the guys). I don't know how to turn off my innocence or whatever it is.

I mess things up with guys I like mainly by forcing them to see how messed up I am and basically tell them I'm not good enough for them.. in so many words. A lot of times the guys I'm interested in are taken or probably taken so I ignore them and am sometimes mean. It doesn't matter because it's pointless for me to pursue anyone until I figure myself out.

I don't know.

You were given all the advice. It is obvious your deaf to it. Best of luck in your life. I hope you do not mess it up more by ruining something that should be special. You defiantly need major counseling and yes your very immature for your age. Wish there was some way to get things through to you, but some people just have to mess up in order to learn the hard way. Thinking that is going to be you.

Please PROVE me wrong.

You say you could save your first kiss...

So you think this guy is just going to want to stick his penis in you and not kiss you to get into the mood?

Also you say you can meet him in a public place... That doesn't mean when you go back to his or the hotel he won't have someone waiting there to possibly rape you or worse...

People even go missing in public places. He could be a 60 yr old man that waits for you to show up at the place your going to meet.. He doesn't show up but watches from a distance. Then when you leave and are out of the busy areas he could grab you.

Do you really want to risk it? I mean any 38 yr old who wants to have sex with a 19 yr old doesn't seem like someone id trust.

You know what?

I actually only lost my virginity when I was in my late 18's. Thing is, while you do feel desperate and think that's the reason you're awkward, I wouldn't say it is. I've found out some friends of mine who are in their 20s still are virgins but they're nowhere near awkward or innocent.

If you think that popping your cherry will magically change you, I will assure you it will not.

I have another friend as well, she was the most innocent girl you could know, dirty jokes would leave her uncomfortable or she wouldn't understand them. Thing is, these days, that gal actually joins in the dirty jokes but she's still a virgin. Why did she change? Mostly because our "dirtyness" (for lack of a better word) rubbed off on her.

What I'm trying to say is, if you want to look less innocent and less awkward you need to socialize more and get yourself into different conversations with people who aren't.

As a last bit of advice, I would like you to just do the following. Wait one or two months and highly consider what you want to do, consider that you may come to regretting it a lot latter on.

I think I've been through (even if not on the same scale) and I'd have to say that if I had just didn't do it with someone I loved and trusted it wouldn't have been as good or as special and even if I'm not together with that person anymore, I still cherish the moment.

Good luck give2me1lemons.

EDIT: Oh and just in case you need to see just how messed up I am, feel free to check this topic: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/personal-growth/im-messed-up-465284.html
Believe me, you aren't the only one :)

Well the first step in being able to have a relationship was to have a life. Because what guy would be interested in a very average looking girl with no special quirks or talent, some issues, who sits home alone and might not go outside her front door for a week or more. So I got a license and a job and started to make myself accept invites and go places.

Next is to make myself less average, but I HATE standing out. I won't even wear makeup because I think it will shock people and make them think I'm being deceitful because I never have before. I just wear jeans and a graphicless top and my hair is always the same. I own three pairs of shoes. I never had money to splurge and now I'm afraid to do much with the money I make--assuming I even knew what I would want to wear.

Then there's my issues and they will take a while and maybe a professional to sort out. Or maybe confidence will solve everything, but that will take some time too.
-------------------------------------
I've been talking to him at least three months, and I was aware of him much longer. I can't understand why he would rape someone or pull any stunts with someone who is giving themselves freely, knowing things that would send a lot of girls running (like his high number of partners). I could always be the one who watches across the street, and as far as kissing, it doesn't have to be on my lips, right?

So thanks everyone for the input, and now I have a little more to think about. If the "right guy" at least makes an appearance in August, I definitely won't go through with it. I'm going to school in his state, so I have at least that long to be sure. Unless he agrees to meet next week when I'm there for orientation, but I doubt it seriously.

Your plan is just wrong. Very BAD idea. You say you know this guy, but you don't. I promise you that you don't. We all say things over the internet to get people to like us, doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Predators are all over the internet. They know how to lure innocent girls like you in. You are their prey.

Whether he's tested clean or not, you still run the risk of pregnancy. This will tie you to him for the rest of your life. Yes, condoms, yes birth control pills, but these fail. There are members here who have used 3, yes THREE forms of birth control and still got pregnant. Contrary to popular belief, you can get pregnant your first time.

As for the "cannibalism" remark... that's not the kind of eating he was talking about apparently.

This man you are thinking of is 38. That means he was 19 when you were born. Think about having sex with a newborn baby... that's what it's like to him. He is twice your age. He's a pervert plain and simple.

Hey I know how you feel. I was 18 and in my senior year of high school and everyone made fun of me for being a virgin, but you know what I made the mistake of following the crowd and having sex and I DO regret it! Very very much so. You hold something sacred right now. And I'm sure you are curious and want to know what it's like but I would have to agree with the rest of them, you don't want to do it for the wrong reasons, because honestly in the end you keep talking about GETTING CONFIDENCE from it but if you do it this way, honestly in the end don't you think your going to loose confidence... anyone can go out and find a random stranger to have sex with it's not hard and I think in the end it will make you feel worse about yourself rather than better... so do you think you owe it to yourself to find someone who actually cares and gives a damn about you instead of just some random person you don't know. Nobody can judge you, especially me like I said I've been there and I wish I had waited because once you give it up, chances are that's all men are going to want, and you will most likely continue to give it up trying to find someone who will care about you and not just want sex, and that's not easy. So I wish you luck and hope you change your mind! Wait for someone who loves and cares about you, you are worth that much for sure!

I find this very, very sad.

Anybody can have sex, for any number of reasons, as often as they like, and with or without protection, but there is certainly a risk- emotionally.

We are not talking about what colour nailpolish goes with which lipstick here.

You are talking about the most precious gift you can offer to someone who you have a relationship with. That comes after you build a foundation, starting with friendship, and getting to know someone well enough to know it is the right thing at the right time with the right person. A sexual relationship that happens only because the goal is to not be a virgin, will affect you in ways that you will regret.

It is immature to set about 'appointing' someone to accomplish the goal you have. It is cold, and it reduces the act of love making in a relationship, to having no more importance than getting a hair cut, or picking out which outfit to wear.

The reasons you wish to 'hire' this man, show a lack of understanding about sex, relationships, love, and sharing intimacy. What you want to do, should happen naturally, no matter how old you are, after you have a trusting relationship.

He is almost 20 years older than you, and what the he** is he doing even talking sex to a 19 year old. You have already given too much of yourself, personally, to this stranger.

Not only that, but you will be at his mercy, and God only knows how he intends to take your virginity. Are you going to meet in some sleezy motel? Maybe the backseat of his car? In a deserted park somewhere?

What happens if you get him all worked up, and then decide that you are afraid, vunerable, uncomfortable, and want to stop. That side of his character you do not know. There is a very real danger here that you are getting yourself set up for something that you have not considered could happen.

And then what. You are another notch in his bedpost, and the meaningless sex, was just another one night stand. You come out the other end not being a virgin, and where does that get you.

Will you feel better about yourself? Will you be able to defend yourself to your parents or friends if you get into some serious trouble? Are you going to expect that when you eventually have meaningful sex with someone you deeply care about, that your expectations are going to be only what you learned from this 38 year old man? What if things were painful and rough, and you are left feeling deserted, unwanted, unfulfilled, and used. How are you going to deal with those very real possibilities.

Please re-think what you are doing.

I have real serious doubts about a 38 year old man who picks up 19 year old girl on the Internet and agrees to do her a favor by taking her virginity. You only have one and to give it away to a stranger is just silly. This guy is a creep.
You don't need to have sex, you need counseling, talk to someone about yourself esteem. Your being a virgin has nothing to do with being uncool or weird. Losing your virginity is not going to make you the belle of the ball. Being so willing to give it away to a stranger, thinking it will make you feel better about yourself is the problem, not your virginity.

Sex for the first time is special and should be done with someone special. Don't cheapen it by throwing it away to a stranger. This is your body your most personal space, have you no appreciation or respect for that?
I was 23 when I lost my virginity, it was to my husband. But the thing is, I waited for that special person, someone who loved me enough to be gentle and appreciated what I just gave him.
You are a fresh untouched vagina to this guy, that's all. It this what you want invading your most personal space?

Okay, so, I met him on another forum. I saw him around the forum for a year or so, and I liked the way he thinks/writes. That's how I learned a lot of the things I know about him. Then one day I decided to ask him because the worst that could happen is he would say no and life would go on. But he said yes. His only real demands were that we get to know each other because we should at least like each other, and he said we should hangout a while before anything happens that day to make sure we still want to go through with it. Does he still sound like a predator or a creep, now that you know what I know? We didn't even exchange pictures or anything until after I asked him. I picked him up, and I'm 1-3 years over the legal age to have sex, depending on the state/country.

Also, my sister is dating/living with a 40 year old man, and she is 23. That's a 17 year difference. I guess that's why it's not as taboo to me.

I don't know what he was thinking, but I planned on a cheapish hotel. He already said he would drive to me.

I still don't know if I would keep, abort, or adopt out a baby if I became pregnant before I was ready. And I know it can happen with two different forms of birth control, but if you remove human error (use everything as directed exactly) then the rates drop. I equate it to the fact that I know someone who had polio as a child. It's a real possibility, but it's not very common.

No, I'm mostly worried how I will feel about it during/afterward. I mean most people don't stay with their first anyway. And I have no reason to believe there's a guy out there for me. I still have time to make sure it's what I want. I'm sorry, I know I'm frustrating, but I really do appreciate being able to bounce this off someone besides him. So thank you.

You are only 19. What is the rush?
You have college or career to be thinking about and your wanting to screw a stranger.
This guy is a creep. No decent man is going to have sex with a 19 year old to take her virginity. That is just plain tacky of him to do that.
If he had any scruples he would be telling you that you are making a mistake and then he would leave you alone.
I think you need some counseling. Yourself esteem should not be wrapped up in your virginity.

Yes, he still sounds like a predator and a creep.

What you don't realize is he is telling you everything you want to hear. You are saying in effect that you are pursuing him, when the truth is a man of his age and experience is playing you like a fiddle.

If he said the opposite of what you were asking him, or what you wanted to hear, would you give him another keystroke?

He is playing you, and you are falling right into it thinking he is a great guy doing you a favour, when actually what you are asking of him he is interpreting as a free romp in the sack with a kid who thinks he's doing her a favour!!

No decent man would even entertain such an idea, in fact, even hearing what you are proposing would have you deleted from their contacts.

I don't know what kind of site you are on- is it a dating site?

There is a high probability if it is, he has other women and teenagers on the go at the same time.

And while that is happening, you sit there thinking that you are safe and in control.

The truth is, once you meet him, and the door shuts on the hotel room door, and nobody knows where you are, you are in serious danger.

Well it sounds like all you want to be is a cheap hooker. Everybody has tried to help you out, but you do not want to hear any of it.

This thread is now a waste of time. Your determined to sell yourself out.

Good luck.

When I originally asked him, the risk was half the appeal. Except now that I've asked him and talk to him, I am met with someone rational who takes things very slow--maybe even too slow. The fact that I asked him and that he's up front about things most people would deny, that he isn't rushing anything, makes me trust him. He doesn't need me, I need him.

I mess things up with guys that I like, so at this point I'm not bothering with a relationship until I get my s*** together. However, I really want to know sex. I feel uncomfortable when people talk dirty or about their experiences because it's like they can see right through me. I feel vulnerable and not taken seriously. I feel like sex would shed the cutesy, innocent image and give me back some of my confidence. Also, I'm worried my family thinks I'm either outcast or gay because I've never dated. They've joked about me being gay. I feel like people can tell whether you're a virgin or not by the way you carry yourself, though I realize sex wouldn't automatically make me confident. I just think it would boost my self esteem a little.

Then the fact that he's an older guy helps because he won't be immature, he's bound to be less judgemental, and I'm hoping it guarantees he will know how to make it enjoyable for both of us. He doesn't see virginity as valuable, so I wouldn't be some conquest and he wouldn't think he won anything or had something over me. Also, I feel like I could become more experienced faster because he is so experienced.

I'm the last of my friends to be kissed and the last of my closest friends to have sex. I'm afraid it will take too long to get myself together and meet a great guy, and I do not want to pass up on an opportunity and become a really old virgin. Besides, if he was such a great guy, he wouldn't care about my past, right?

I never wanted to be with one partner my entire life anyway, so does it really make a difference if the first one is special? I've heard that I'm supposed to develop some attachment to whoever my first is too, but I don't see that happening either.

I was in the same situation and had the same feelings. That didn't make me run out and find someone to have sex with.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. It was with two very close friends that I remained friends with afterward.

If you're SET on losing your virginity, then make sure it's with someone you know, respect, are attracted to, and TRUST! You want your first time to be something you remember fondly, not something you regret.

What are you going to tell the guy you meet someday who IS the right one?

"Oh yes sweetie I lost my virginity to an older guy I had never met before and I met him on line."

You are asking for a world of hurt and trouble. Forget about losing your virginity until you meet the right one.

This "nice guy" could very well be a sexual predator or worse. You are acting foolish and if you do this, I only hope you have the nerve someday when you have a
Daughter and she ask how you lost your virginity, you have the guts to tell her. Won't that be a kick in the rear?

I'm a short term thinker. I can't see myself at 30, let alone a mother..

It's disturbing everyone still thinks he's a creep and I don't really know what to take from that. I don't know if it's the age difference, the way I met him, or that I'm a virgin.. or all of the above. Am I supposed to assume everyone online is a serial rapist?

I just feel like I'm not allowed to be picky. I don't think it even registers to guys that I exist and am available. I don't feel like I have anything much to offer. I feel bad for the guys I do talk to for having to experience me, so I usually leave them alone. I don't think I'm hideous, but I don't think I'm someone a guy would be proud of dating, I guess.

I don't want to be a cheap hooker. I just want something.

I guess I will update this when I make a definite decision either way. Not until then..

For me it is not about the man at all.

For me it is your willing to give yourself away to somebody you do not even know.

For me it is your immaturity level.

For me it is how your willing to throw your life away for something you say you can not wait for which is full of BS.

It is time to get counseling. It is time to grow up and it is a time to put more value in your own self. Which your not doing by your so called short term thinking.

This for me is not about the man at all, for me it is you willing to become a cheap hooker to satisfy something that will just disappoint you.

That is all. In the end, no matter what has been said. It is YOUR life and YOUR decision.

For me it is not about the man at all.

For me it is your willing to give yourself away to somebody you do not even know.

For me it is your immaturity level.

For me it is how your willing to throw your life away for something you say you can not wait for which is full of BS.

It is time to get counseling. It is time to grow up and it is a time to put more value in your own self. Which your not doing by your so called short term thinking.

This for me is not about the man at all, for me it is you willing to become a cheap hooker to satisfy something that will just disappoint you.

That is all. In the end, no matter what has been said. It is YOUR life and YOUR decision.





I want you to read this and think about a few things. Today in this world there are twelve and thirteen year old children getting pregnant.
They think it's okay because their friends are doing it. It's not cool.
Do you know how many young women your age would give to have a "do over" when it comes to losing their virginity?

In my opinion it's something you need to be proud of. The fact you haven't given yourself to someone tells me there is hope you will do the right thing. You are in a minority young lady and instead of trying to "lose it" you should be thanking your lucky stars you still have it.

Cheap men and women are a dime a dozen. Be proud to be different...
Chances are this guy "online" is leading you down the garden path and when you do meet him... you will wish you never had. Please think about this..

There is someone out there and if you wait you'll be glad you did.
I think you need to start thinking about yourself. You say you're not pretty... I doubt that. Get some self esteem and you will learn to like yourself.

I'm a short term thinker. I can't see myself at 30, let alone a mother..

It's disturbing everyone still thinks he's a creep and I don't really know what to take from that. I don't know if it's the age difference, the way I met him, or that I'm a virgin..or all of the above. Am I supposed to assume everyone online is a serial rapist?

I just feel like I'm not allowed to be picky. I don't think it even registers to guys that I exist and am available. I don't feel like I have anything much to offer. I feel bad for the guys I do talk to for having to experience me, so I usually leave them alone. I don't think I'm hideous, but I don't think I'm someone a guy would be proud of dating, I guess.

I don't want to be a cheap hooker. I just want something.

I guess I will update this when I make a definite decision either way. Not until then..

Do you want something good or just something?

And of course you're allowed to be picky, you're just 19!

What I think you want is emotional closeness, you want somebody to see you as a romantic interest. That will not happen just because you give some guy twice your age your virginity. It will not in fact make more guys gravitate towards you. If anything, if things go awry you'll be crushed and it will leave a permanent emotional scar on yourself. You won't be able to go back and fix it.

If you want to be a romantic interest to guys that actually interest you there needs to be change. Having a creep put his penis inside you won't magically take all the weirdness and make you any different. It won't raise your self-esteem or confidence either.

Consider this, ever heard how guys will usually not even think about the consequences when a girl straight up offers sex? Do you actually think you'll feel better and more confident because you straight up offered some guy your first time?

If you want a guy to want to date you, you need to learn to like yourself first. Now, I don't like Psychologists myself but perhaps you'd fare better with one than me.

There are just so many things you can do to make you feel better about yourself...

Get some exercise (I'm not saying hit a gym and go she-hulk), just run around the block or something. I'll assure you that exercise helps everyone and it has certainly helped me.

Go out and buy a few outfits that make yourself look like cute and beautiful, look beautiful enough times and you'll feel beautiful and in turn guys will believe you're beautiful. This sounds like bull**** but it's not, it actually does work this way. (For instance, do you find the nerdy guy with no confidence more attractive than the social guy who dresses well and feels good about himself? Of course not.)

Still, don't do something stupid like putting yourself in a dangerous situation to try to fix something the wrong way.

Making yourself like yourself more, being more confident and getting more attention from guys does not include giving your virginity to a 38 year old guy you've never met and who might place you in a horrible situation with even more horrible outcomes.

You're trying to find an easy fix but... nothing worth having in this life comes easy. So go do the work, even if it's hard.

Guys like me, but they are usually creepy, socially awkward, and they get mad at me for having high defenses and not wanting to be with them as more than friends. I've attracted some real winners, which certainly helps myself esteem..

My job is physical. I lost two pounds (119 now) and have slightly more visible mucle tone in the almost four months I've been there. I work 32-39 hours a week, on my feet all day, lifting sometimes as much as 40lbs. Not that this makes me feel glamorous at the end of the day when I'm dirty and gross.

I still don't think it's fair to label this guy a creep. It's not his fault I'm me, and I do think he is nice and well meaning. It's not like he knows my past or all my reasons.

But I think I can at least agree not to do anything drastic until October. Assuming everything goes as planned, I'll have been in college about two months and be mostly settled at my school (I dropped out last year). Maybe I'll have reason to believe things can be different. Or at least I'll be better distracted. He probably wouldn't assume in that time that I've changed my mind, and I'd still have options...

Fair enough?

How is it not fair to label him a creep when he wants to willingly take the virginity of a girl half his age?

He just wants a quick lay as far as I see it and the things he's saying to you are making you think what he wants you to think.

How is he not a creep give2me1lemons?

Look guys, she's going to do whatever she wants to do. Our assessment of this guy is falling on deaf ears. Let's just hope that she comes back to tell us that she is alive an unhurt after having this sordid rendezvous.

I guess you're right J_9...

Let's just hope for the best.

True J_9...

Look guys, she's gonna do whatever she wants to do. Our assessment of this guy is falling on deaf ears. Let's just hope that she comes back to tell us that she is alive an unhurt after having this sordid rendezvous.

No, I don't believe he's a bad person. But I am not saying I will go through with it. I was never sure I would. It's kind of like playing chicken with myself and at the last minute I either do or I don't. I just don't want to tell him no, because then I can't ever ask again. And it's scary to go back to having no options and just waiting and hoping things will change. And some of your comments made me feel gross and stupid last night, so I'm not deaf. I just don't like condemning people.

Obviously I would prefer to have some guy crazy for me and be in a happy relationship, but it's hard to wait for that when your closest friends have already passed through the crappy, rocky relationships and now have these great guys. And when you feel like you're nothing, it's hard to believe someone else could want you... someone who has options and still wants you.

I probably won't, but I am not ready to burn that bridge. I asked to make sure I really could do this, but you all at least made me doubtful, so all I can do is agree to give it more time/thought and see what happens. I'm sorry if that's not good enough.

No, I don't believe he's a bad person. But I am not saying I will go through with it. I was never sure I would. It's kind of like playing chicken with myself and at the last minute I either do or I don't. I just don't want to tell him no, because then I can't ever ask again. And it's scary to go back to having no options and just waiting and hoping things will change. And some of your comments made me feel gross and stupid last night, so I'm not deaf. I just don't like condemning people.

Obviously I would prefer to have some guy crazy for me and be in a happy relationship, but it's hard to wait for that when your closest friends have already passed through the crappy, rocky relationships and now have these great guys. And when you feel like you're nothing, it's hard to believe someone else could want you...someone who has options and still wants you.

I probably won't, but I am not ready to burn that bridge. I asked to make sure I really could do this, but you all at least made me doubtful, so all I can do is agree to give it more time/thought and see what happens. I'm sorry if that's not good enough.



You're only nineteen.. there will be some guy going crazy for you someday... that's all the more reason not to give yourself to an old codger online who is probably around seventy... and is a flasher... Be careul, be patient and wait... Please. You'll find there is someone out there who will appreciate that you did wait. Behave yourself:)

Do some things to work on yourself esteem and you will feel quite differently about this.
It's more about how you feel about yourself rather than your virginity. You say you don't want to judge this stranger but you have put yourself in a very low position. This is not about sex, but about you.
Get some counseling.

I met someone exactly the same way you did. I was freshy 20. He was 52. We met on the internet. We went out for dinner. He turned out to want sex and that was it. He took it from me, (yes RAPE, and you Don't want to mess with it) and then left me at the gas station on the corner.

DO NOT PLAY WITH THIS.
There is only so much we can tell you. YOU have to be the one to say 'i am worth more than that'

So I'm sorry. But pull your head out of your arse and start THINKING like an adult. Because all the age in the world means CRAP until you grow up and start thinking acting and behaving like an adult.

And honey, your NOT there yet.

i met someone exactly the same way you did. i was freshy 20. he ws 52. we met on the internet. we went out for dinner. he turned out to want sex and that was it. he took it from me, (yes RAPE, and you DONT want to mess with it) and then left me at the gas station on the corner.

DO NOT PLAY WITH THIS.
there is only so much we can tell you. YOU have to be the one to say 'i am worth more than that'

so im sorry. but pull your head out of your arse and start THINKING like an adult. because all the age in the world means CRAP untill you grow up and start thinking acting and behaving like an adult.

and honey, your NOT there yet.




Read jenniepepsi; post carefully... This young lady has been there and she is telling you from experience... you are putting yourself in danger. Thank God she shared her story with you. She's trying to give you a wake up call... Listen to her! Sorry for your pain jpepsi... :)

i met someone exactly the same way you did. i was freshy 20. he ws 52. we met on the internet. we went out for dinner. he turned out to want sex and that was it. he took it from me, (yes RAPE, and you DONT want to mess with it) and then left me at the gas station on the corner.

DO NOT PLAY WITH THIS.
there is only so much we can tell you. YOU have to be the one to say 'i am worth more than that'

so im sorry. but pull your head out of your arse and start THINKING like an adult. because all the age in the world means CRAP untill you grow up and start thinking acting and behaving like an adult.

and honey, your NOT there yet.

I'm really sorry you went through that, jennie. I am curious exactly how much it relates to me, but I'm sure it's painful to talk about. Thanks for sharing..

I think I may be in a little over my head. I met one guy off the internet as friends, but he at least was a friend of my friend's boyfriend. And it was still pretty awkward and weird and he was stranger than I expected--I made a quick exit. I've only seen one picture of this guy, and I've never heard his voice. And it would completely throw me if he has a strange voice. I still can't bring myself to believe he would hurt me, however taboo the age difference is, but I didn't think he was the most attractive man I ever saw. Not ugly, but not really my type. I overlooked it because I believed what I know about him... he must have something going for him to have had that many women, right?

But yet we barely talked about sex. Mainly real life interests, what's going on in our lives.. normal things. And he's a long time member and mod on that site. So I don't know. I think he's legit, but I don't really know how things would play out if I don't even really find him attractive and I definitely don't love him..

I'm just going to say I won't do it..

I'm really sorry you went through that, jennie. I am curious exactly how much it relates to me, but I'm sure it's painful to talk about. Thanks for sharing..

I think I may be in a little over my head. I met one guy off the internet as friends, but he at least was a friend of my friend's boyfriend. And it was still pretty awkward and weird and he was stranger than I expected--I made a quick exit. I've only seen one picture of this guy, and I've never heard his voice. And it would completely throw me if he has a strange voice. I still can't bring myself to believe he would hurt me, however taboo the age difference is, but I didn't think he was the most attractive man I ever saw. Not ugly, but not really my type. I overlooked it because I believed what I know about him...he must have something going for him to have had that many women, right?

But yet we barely talked about sex. Mainly real life interests, what's going on in our lives..normal things. And he's a long time member and mod on that site. So I don't know. I think he's legit, but I don't really know how things would play out if I don't even really find him attractive and I definitely don't love him..

I'm just going to say I won't do it..

Please say you won't do it!. Kit

I'm really sorry you went through that, jennie. I am curious exactly how much it relates to me, but I'm sure it's painful to talk about. Thanks for sharing..

I think I may be in a little over my head. I met one guy off the Internet as friends, but he at least was a friend of my friend's boyfriend. And it was still pretty awkward and weird and he was stranger than I expected--I made a quick exit. I've only seen one picture of this guy, and I've never heard his voice. And it would completely throw me if he has a strange voice. I still can't bring myself to believe he would hurt me, however taboo the age difference is, but I didn't think he was the most attractive man I ever saw. Not ugly, but not really my type. I overlooked it because I believed what I know about him...he must have something going for him to have had that many women, right?

But yet we barely talked about sex. Mainly real life interests, what's going on in our lives..normal things. And he's a long time member and mod on that site. So I don't know. I think he's legit, but I don't really know how things would play out if I don't even really find him attractive and I definitely don't love him..

I'm just going to say I won't do it..

I am not trying to say that he IS this way. I would never assume that just because someone was originally connected Thur the Internet means they are bad. I have met wonderful people on the Internet, loving and friendly people, many here, who even step out of the Internet world to help in the real world. I met my best friend of 10 years now on a radio show, (he was a DJ) and is still to this day my best friend in real life (in person)

But you also can't assume all people are good either. As cold and unloving as it sounds you MUST keep in mind the 'what ifs' and play it safe and cautious.

The best advice I can give you, since it seems you DO want to meet this guy, (and though everyone's opinions differ, I see nothing wrong with a friendship or romance between people with a large age gap between them) do it, but SAFELY. Meet once in person, in public, at a mall for instance. During the day, drive yourself, and he drive himself. And DO NOT LEAVE with him. Meet a few times in person for an hour or two. Have lunch, coffee, go bowling. etc. always in plain view of others, during the day, and driving yourself. Get to know the person he is in real life, and not on the Internet. Hopefully, he is everything you believe him to be, and if that's the case than I wish you well.

But don't do this in a stupid way. It could save your life if you automatically assume that all men want sex, and all men are willing to take it (until you REALLY get to know them in person that is)

I'm glad you have decided not to go through with just losing your virginity simply because your tired of having it lol. I lost mine as a child and I would have LOVED to had made that decision. (in fact, losing it that way is probably exactly why I have had so much trouble with men in my life. Andi wouldn't wish it on anyone)


(also, anytime you would like to speak to me about what I have been through as far as this stuf is concerned, feel free to message me. I have no problem talking about it at all. I can't give you advice through the private messages, but we can talk about it and discuss the challenges it can offer. )

Hello,

I think you should wait. Believe me I know you are wondering what all the huff and puff about sex is.
I also understand that you fell pressure from your friends cause you have never bee kissed or had sex.
I truly believe if these people are pressuring you about having sex
Than they do not have your future in mind, Any thing could happen,from STD or even getting knocked up.

Please try to think about this more. I know that you might be having hormones that are driving you crazy.. I understand wanting to fit in with all the other girl frinds of yours that have had sex and can talk about it and laugh or tell there storie like they are something cause they have the experience.

Look on the other Hand you can keep your virginity and PRIDE

YOU will be able to look in the mirror and NOT be ASHAMED of a dession that is not a good one.

Get yourself involved in activities such as a book club are maybe volleyball.
I hope I have helped you

STAY TRUE TO Yourself
HAVE A BLESS DAY

Listen to the advice you've been given... Kit

Okay. Advice. Hhhhmmm.

You are on the fence. You want to do this, but are unsure. You've come here looking for someone to say, "Sounds safe and reliable to me! Go for it!" At the end of the day, you want to do this and you are trying to find someone to say it is okay.

We aren't doing that because of the LARGE number of red flags being raised at this point. Not one person here thinks this a good idea, not even a little bit.

So there you have it. No bit of convincing will cause us to change our opinions. No bit of our convincing will cause you to change your mind.

There is a chance that everything is what it seems to be. There is a chance that this person is honestly and genuinely interested in something more than just sex with you. He could be a safe and fun guy. That is a chance that nothing bad will happen.

There is a chance that he is an internet stalker. He is playing you and a number of other impressionable young women. Women who don't have the maturity and knowledge to fend off said predator. There is a chance that he prays off the ignorance, and you are ignorant, of young women for only his gratification. There is a chance that he knows, though experience, what sweet nothings to whisper in your ears. What to say to get past your meagre defences. What to say to convince you, and probably countless others, to spread their legs for him.

You're not nearly paranoid, cautious, or critical enough to see what could go wrong here. You're not seeing what could go wrong. You're pissing around here trying to convince yourself that this will end well. It probably won't.

So decision time. Do it, or don't do it.

You are just 19, come on! Listen, I'm 28 virgin. What makes things worst is the fact that I'm beautiful, hardworking girl, nice, and very intellectual, How do you think I feel about being a virgin despite I have what most people calls “the whole package”?

But guess what? Even when I'm sick of my pathetic situation, I stand up for myself and, instead of give it to some stupid man who only sees my vagina and not a human being, I'm seeing a therapist. It's not easy, in my “apparent perfect life” I have issues to deal with. Yesterday I had a terrible session regarding self esteem (which I thought was well) and right now I feel like sh.. but I'm just beginning. This is a catharsis.

Let me tell you something I received my first kiss when I was 21. I was working in my office when this man (an as... ) who was always harassing me, suddenly entered to my office and kissed me without my consent.
A friend of mine (and excellent friend I have to say) told me: “Remember how you felt with that, now multiply it by 100 and you will know how you will feel if you have sex for the first time with somebody who doesn't really care about you, respect you or love you”. And my friend really knows what she is talking about since she was raped by her then boyfriend.

May be I'm the last person to give and advice since I have issues, I'm really depressed about being a virgin, and I think about losing it all day long. May be I'm exactly what you're scared about, an old virgin. However, I thought that you'd like to know that you are not the only one who's anxious because of this.

You say you want a winner, what's a winner? Vain, cool or what? Now, what kind of woman you are? Do you see yourself as a winner? I'm sorry baby but You can't receive what you can't give, THAT'S A FACT. Make changes in yourself according to what you are looking for, but always RESPECTING who you truly are.

Also, give me a break! You are much younger than me, How do you think I feel with all my friends are already having babies? Really stupid, like if something is wrong with me, but I'm not going to give myself like if I didn't deserved a little love or care. I do really want a change in my life, so, like “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson, I take a look at myself and I'll make a change, and may be that way things will be different. I go to counseling every week and I'm willing to overcome the way I feel. I'm wasting neither my money nor my time. May be you should ask for professional help too.

Be smart like Mina.. I think she's a very good examplle to young women.

I was hoping to belay the long and difficult process of making myself happy and functioning and equal and at least know sex and maybe get a confidence boost. Maybe it would take pressure off because I could check that milestone off my list and go back and do it right later. I told myself that I am strong because I am getting what I want, even if it is taboo. I thought that any man I wanted would leave my past in the past so it didn't matter how I lost it. If I died tomorrow, this would be one more experience I had had.

But I got a job and a license and a car and into college again and into the honors program etc etc. So I guess I'll just keep doing positive things until it makes me happy. Therapy is scary and expensive. I keep telling myself I'll go at school where it's free, but then I don't trust them to keep it confidential and I don't think it will help and I don't know if I really need it.

I don't really expect to go through with this anymore, but I do not know what to tell him. So I'm just acting like nothing changed.

You tell him you have decided not to do this. That is all you need to tell him. You don't owe him anything.

You are only 19. You have plenty of time to meet someone you want to give yourself to.

I was hoping to belay the long and difficult process of making myself happy and functioning and equal and at least know sex and maybe get a confidence boost. Maybe it would take pressure off because I could check that milestone off my list and go back and do it right later. I told myself that I am strong because I am getting what I want, even if it is taboo. I thought that any man I wanted would leave my past in the past so it didn't matter how I lost it. If I died tomorrow, this would be one more experience I had had.

But I got a job and a license and a car and into college again and into the honors program etc etc. So I guess I'll just keep doing positive things until it makes me happy. Therapy is scary and expensive. I keep telling myself I'll go at school where it's free, but then I don't trust them to keep it confidential and I don't think it will help and I don't know if I really need it.

I don't really expect to go through with this anymore, but I do not know what to tell him. So I'm just acting like nothing changed.

You are doing the right thing... take it one day at a time. You owe him no explanation. Stick to it... :)

I was hoping to belay the long and difficult process of making myself happy and functioning and equal and at least know sex and maybe get a confidence boost. Maybe it would take pressure off because I could check that milestone off my list and go back and do it right later. I told myself that I am strong because I am getting what I want, even if it is taboo. I thought that any man I wanted would leave my past in the past so it didn't matter how I lost it. If I died tomorrow, this would be one more experience I had had.

But I got a job and a license and a car and into college again and into the honors program etc etc. So I guess I'll just keep doing positive things until it makes me happy. Therapy is scary and expensive. I keep telling myself I'll go at school where it's free, but then I don't trust them to keep it confidential and I don't think it will help and I don't know if I really need it.

I don't really expect to go through with this anymore, but I do not know what to tell him. So I'm just acting like nothing changed.

1) Therapy is scary and expensive, WRONG. That is just an excuse you keep telling yourself so you convince yourself that you do not need counseling, but YOU defiantly NEED counseling.

2) Get off the excuses, make yourself an appointment and get into counseling. If you want to continue into positive steps and a happier future then you will do this. Trust is the least of your worries right now.

3) Very simple, lose contact with this person, and NEVER contact this person again. You stop acting like anything. You DO NOT owe anybody least of all that GUY anything.

1) Therapy is scary and expensive, WRONG. That is just an excuse you keep telling yourself so you convince yourself that you do not need counseling, but YOU defiantly NEED counseling.

2) Get off the excuses, make yourself an appointment and get into counseling. If you want to continue into positive steps and a happier future then you will do this. Trust is the least of your worries right now.

3) Very simple, lose contact with this person, and NEVER contact this person again. You stop acting like anything. You DO NOT owe anybody least of all that GUY anything.

Good advice if she'll listen.

Jesushelper76 is absolutely right, why do you think that you owe something to this guy?


I was hoping to belay the long and difficult process of making myself happy and functioning and equal and at least know sex and maybe get a confidence boost. Maybe it would take pressure off because I could check that milestone off my list and go back and do it right later. I told myself that I am strong because I am getting what I want, even if it is taboo. I thought that any man I wanted would leave my past in the past so it didn't matter how I lost it. If I died tomorrow, this would be one more experience I had had.


And what in the world makes you believe that confidence comes after sex? Confidence comes from you and nobody or nothing (like a penis) will give it to you, but yourself.

It's not about a taboo, it's about considering all risks, physical and physiological. Do the right thing not for the world, but the best for you, and the best for you it's not always what you want, but what is more convenient after considering all that implies. Like my sister once told me, “stop thinking with you vagina, use your brain” (believe me, it's a great advice; I use it all the time).

Here is part of my story, if it helps.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/hide-im-virgin-470393.html

Good for you, you're going to be fine, you'll see. I'm fine and I'm older than you.

I owe him an explanation because I was the one asking him a favor and when I first asked him he said, "I promise you: if I change my mind, I'll tell you, and be clear and direct. I won't just blow you off. That's not cool." I'll figure something out..

Confidence as in he would see me as vulnerable physically as anyone can be and accept me and still want to have sex with me. That's what I mean.

Mina, your story is really very similar to mine. Thank you for sharing and the encouragement.

What is there to figure out. I changed my mind I am not going through with it, I am not going to contact you anymore. Very Very Very simple.

You owe him nothing.

I owe him an explanation because I was the one asking him a favor and when I first asked him he said, "I promise you: if I change my mind, I'll tell you, and be clear and direct. I won't just blow you off. That's not cool." I'll figure something out..

Confidence as in he would see me as vulnerable physically as anyone can be and accept me and still want to have sex with me. That's what I mean.

Mina, your story is really very similar to mine. Thank you for sharing and the encouragement.
When you ask someone for a favor and then don't need it, you say "thanks but no thanks".
That is all you need to say to this man. If he is decent he will say to himself "good, she wised up" If he is a creep, well good thing you wised up.
You've made no promises to him, you don't owe him anything. You don't even know him.

When you ask someone for a favor and then don't need it, you say "thanks but no thanks".
That is all you need to say to this man. If he is decent he will say to himself "good, she wised up" If he is a creep, well good thing you wised up.
You've made no promises to him, you don't owe him anything. You don't even know him.

You are absolutely right Homegirl.

When you ask someone for a favor and then don't need it, you say "thanks but no thanks".
That is all you need to say to this man. If he is decent he will say to himself "good, she wised up" If he is a creep, well good thing you wised up.
You've made no promises to him, you don't owe him anything. You don't even know him.

Homegirl, I like your advice. Simple and vague. I have to tell him something, so that works. I didn't really want to expain how I came to this decision. And I appreciate that you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I think this issue is closed. Thanks for all the advice and harshness/support.

Can't agree more with what other people are saying.
I'm 18, nearly 19 and still a virgin. Up unti last week I hadn't even kissed anyone before! And still that is as far as I have gone.
I respect myself and am willing to wait until I am in a happy relationship with someone before I even think about going there.
There is no rush! Stop looking for it, be young and enjoy yourself and eventually it will happen!

We all wish you well.

We all wish you well.



Yes we do.

Seriously, I wish I could turn back time and be a 19 year old virgin as you are...

I lost my virginity at 18 with someone I didn't even know, for similar reasons as you have. Because I felt that I was one of the last of my friends to be a virgin and I just wanted to do it to know what it was like and see what the big deal was, and not be different than my friends etc.

I know you're probably tired of hearing things like, If I could go back and do it again I'd do things differently etc. etc. because when you're 19 you have no idea how you're going to feel in your 30s/40s.

I'll just be honest with you here. Losing your virginity isn't just about having sex for the first time. Your virginity is a GIFT that you can give away only once. Please don't make the same mistake I did by not respecting or loving yourself enough to wait for someone to come along who is worthy of that gift.

I don't have many regrets in my life but this is certainly one of them and believe me, there is nothing wrong with being different than your friends by waiting. There's no rush and there's no big race in losing one's virginity. A time that's right for one isn't right for another.

Let your friends and family say what they will, let them make jokes. They've already given away their gifts. There's no shame in holding onto yours. You won't lose anything by waiting, you'll only lose by giving away something so special before you're ready to do so.

What is your most prized possession that you have right now? What's one thing that you own that you can't imagine giving away to just anyone?

Your body should be thought of as your most special gift as well.

I really hope you'll think about this because I relate so much to how you're feeling right now because I was in your shoes once and I wish I could go back and save myself for someone who loved me, and who I loved back.

If you really want to know what sex is like you can always get a toy; That way you can have some physical experience (on one level) but still save yourself for someone you love and who loves you in return.

I finally told him on the 22nd, and he answered me on the 26th. He was completely fine with it, encouraging even, and said he'd be around and to keep in touch. Thanks again, all.

Good girl.
That wasn't so bad now was it?
How are you doing?

Good for you! Good Luck

Slow down, maybe you should explore yourself and learn your own body, you will be way ahead of the curve if you can learn to know your own body. A lot of women have sex for all the wrong reasons, to feel needed, peer pressure, low self esteem, they think they are missing out on something, these all seem like the wrong reasons to have sex. Learn to get yourself off and it will release indorphans in your brain that will make you feel better. You turned down guys who asked you out? Why no feelings for them? Boy hope the rejection didn't mess up the guys. You maybe should reconsider the guys that were interested in you, or you ask out a guy that you are interested in. Forget the guy on the internet, you could talk to him for years and still be fooled, any self respecting 38 year old, probably over 40 wouldn't get involved with a 19 year old wanting to lose it. Just spend some time with some guys that are interested in you, this will boost self esteem and your confidence. I was 21 when I lost mine, so I know how your feeling, like your missing out on something great that everyone is doing. Trust me people who brag about sex are usually doing more talking than doing. I know this is all easy for us out here to say, but the simple fact that you are asking should give you the right answer. Yea carry mace and learn how to use it. Seek inter contentment

Slow down, maybe you should explore yourself and learn your own body, you will be way ahead of the curve if you can learn to know your own body. alot of women have sex for all the wrong reasons, to feel needed, peer pressure, low self esteem, they think they are missing out on something, these all seem like the wrong reasons to have sex. learn to get yourself off and it will release indorphans in your brain that will make you feel better. You turned down guys who asked you out? Why no feelings for them? boy hope the rejection didnt mess up the guys. You maybe should reconsider the guys that were interested in you, or you ask out a guy that you are interested in. Forget the guy on the internet, you could talk to him for years and still be fooled, any self respecting 38 year old, probably over 40 wouldnt get involved with a 19 year old wanting to lose it. just spend some time with some guys that are interested in you, this will boost self esteem and your confidence. I was 21 when I lost mine, so i know how your feeling, like your missing out on something great that everyone is doing. trust me people who brag about sex are usually doing more talking than doing. I know this is all easy for us out here to say, but the simple fact that you are asking should give you the right answer. yea carry mace and learn how to use it. seek inter contentment

Please read the ENTIRE thread before posting. She's already called it off with the guy on the internet.