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I searched for answers already but none work at all.

Basically I had been going out with her for 4 years, we broke up one time after the first year because she was not treating me right at all, but got back together 8 months later and sort of had a roles revesal in a way.

So we broke up the final time September last year, but we still acted like boyfriend and girlfriend buying each other gifts, and stuff and even had valentines day together which she she was the best valentines day ever! Anyway we got on really well, but about 3 months ago I found out she liked someone else, let it go, guy took drugs she went off him, but then I found out she actually liked another guy, who slept with one of her friends then broke up with her(her friend was a virgin) = not good.

so yeah since about 3 months we have been on and off, she wants to see me, then doesn't, then the other week she just said out the blue I have no romantic feelings for you, and they have been going since after valentines day.

I can understand its my fault because I had a lot of work, (final year of uni) so I put her on the back bench which was a mistake but I spent time with very few people then!

Question is how do I get this girl who I still love out of my head? She was getting over me gradually I see that now looking back and have accpted there is no chance for me with her now, but yeah, nothing is working! I still want her back! And she likes this other guy, completely not interested in me anymore! Or is she?

On and off relationships can't work out unless you fix the things that broke you up in the first place.

You've been playing the "backup" plan role since you broke up. She's been able to keep you hanging around while she's experiencing with other guys. If things don't work out with others, then she can always come crying back to you. Regarless of how you feel about her, is this the role you want to play?

Have some self-esteem and find someone else to have a healthy relationship with as oppose to hanging around in limbo for her.

I wish said it. As far as how to move on, it all starts with no contact. No texts, no phone calls, no emails, etc. You guys have all ready broken up twice and now it's like you broke up again when you weren't technically together. What a mess. No one wants to be part of a mess like that. Don't even give her a second thought.

Yeah, It was a mess. You guys actually make a lot of sense. I have been the fool hanging on, its about time I tell go. Thanks for the motivation guys!
People have been telling me its not worth it but I stupidly didn't listen! Bad times

It isn't healthy for you to chase after someone who is already chasing someone else. Even though the two of you might do things that the two of you did when you were a couple the reality of it is the two of you aren't a couple. You have to know when to let go even when you see the other person isn't. Othetwise your just setting your ownself up for mind games and left holding on to false hope. Going round and round in circles will only make you dizzy and your heart open for heartache. So it is time for you to get out of this web and get on the road towards healing.


Welshy when all have been given some advice at some time of our live when we didn't listen nor used it. I know I have! I just hope you do now and do what is right for you because if you don't who will?

Full, and strict No Contact was made for you. No doubt.

When you were speaking to prowaker and talking about that list, I thought that was SUCH a good idea. I am still in that stage of doubting my decision to break up every now and again, and wondering if he was REALLY that bad - but then remembering all the bad things seriously helps and makes me realise that I deserve to be treated much better. Keep writing lists, and make sure you put on it that she is taking you for a ride, you are her "back-up plan" like someone else said, and that she doesn't really have feelings for you, she's just using you. Because that's what she's doing, she's using you. I really hope you stop contact and cut all this pain out and find someone else in your own time. : )

Yeah, these forums have really good advice on them, but that list thing I just found worked best for me, because I always got blinded by the love I felt for her that I would forget it all in a second if we got back together. This helps me remember and move on. I've missed out on some really nice girls because of her. And I can't let it happen again.
So no contact and reading the list everyday, it really works when I forget how bad she was to me! I can feel myself slowly getting over her now :p

:)

For all intents and purposes she is not your girl. You two are friends with benefits basically. She is doing and treating you in a way you have allowed. She does not care for you as you do her so you have allowed her to use you as a back up.

How do you get her out of your head? NC! Leave her alone completely, no if ands or buts.

Well I posted my worries over the past week and decided the best course of action was the no contact rule. Anyway I deleted her off Facebook and also deleted my ex's number,
Yesterday she sent be 2 short texts which I think were a build up to the next text. I replied to the both but kept it short and gave her the info she wanted (we planned a night out for after the exams a while ago and she wanted to know what was going on). So I told her.
The next text she brought up that she does not really want to go due to me deleting her off Facebook. So I thought is a bit mean just ignoring her without her not knowing why so I told her I'm moving on and stuff like she has and said its her choice to go or not.
Was I correct in just answering her questions? I didn't ask her any questions or tried to carry on a conversation, just short and sweet replies.

Why do you feel you owe her an explanation on why you are doing the things you are? You don't owe her anything, trust me. I've been down your road

You don't need to justify yourself to her.

I guess you don't want her to be able to say that you started being mean after the end of the relationship.

Now that you've answered all of her questions, hopefully she won't ask you anymore.

You really owed her nothing. You answered her questions and leave her alone.