I know this is long, but please read it. I really need someone’s help.

I was always a pretty heavy girl, so when I met my first and only boyfriend who is a model I thought it had to be too good to be true. He tried to rape me and I broke off the relationship. He kept calling me for months telling me how much he missed me and how he was sorry. I finally broke down my emotional walls when he gave me flowers and told me he loved me.

I agreed to meet him at his apt. complex to discuss our relationship. I didn’t want to go in to his place (for obvious reasons), so we got in the back seat of the car to hold hands and talk. He said that he wanted me back so bad and that he just wanted to please me. He pulled down my pants a little and started to give me head. I was a virgin at the time, but I will admit that the new feeling did feel kind of weird, but in a good way. It made my tummy tingle some, so I didn’t make him stop.

He then said he would use a finger to make it feel even better. I got kind of nervous and excited because I was curious about how it would feel. I told him, “Well, go ahead, but only one finger and please don’t try to have sex with me. I don’t want the big ‘one’ going in, I don’t want to do that sex stuff yet.” He said, “That’s cool babe. I know. It’s your night. All for you.” It all started very nice, he was kissing me sweetly on the lips and was very gentle with his finger.

But then, he just whipped his penis out and put it partly in. He held it so that only half of it would go in. I kept begging him, crying, and saying please. I knew he wasn’t going to stop so I started begging him not to put much of it in. When I would try to get it out, he would ram it in and it hurt so bad that I thought I might die. Sometimes, I tried to cleverly ease him all the way out by saying that he should try a different position, but I only ended up getting hurt in the end. He would ask me if I was ever going to cheat on him or leave him and he would ram his thing in if he didn’t think I said it convincingly enough. It was the worst pain ever, just horrible.

So, for the most part, I stopped all struggle because he didn’t make me hurt so bad when I just did what he told me to do. I felt awful when he finished. He didn’t . He said he wasn’t so much trying to have sex with me or as much as he was just claiming me. I had lost a lot of weight by that time and people were constantly telling me how beautiful I was. My mom had gotten me new clothes and taken me to get my nails and hair done, so I was looking slim and pretty. So, I guess he wanted to make sure I stayed with him. He could never really get his thing far in because it was big and didn’t really fit easy because I was still really small because I had never done it before. Anytime he tried to get it in a lot it was hurting so much and I was screaming and crying uncontrollably and very loud. He said that he had just made me his and that I belong to him now.

What do I do? I am not really sure how to get over this. I don’t feel like I can tell anyone because they told me to stay away from him the first time he tried to rape me. Everybody knew that I was a virgin and waiting for marriage. What happens to my purity pledge now? Do I have to take my promise ring off? I never wanted that stuff to happen and have promised to God to never let that kind of thing happen again. I know it was my fault because I never should have saw him again. It’s just that no boy had ever told me that they loved me before. I guess I fell for the charm/tricks. I am not perfect by any means, so I can admit that I probably would never went back to him if I had higher self esteem. Any advice? (Please be kind)

Signed,

Dumb Naïve Virgin

Okay one it's not your fault. It's not your fault at all! What you DO need to do is go to the police and report him. How old are you? And how old is he?

TALK to you mother- tell her what happened!

It is very very very important that you talk to someone. You need to seek counciling. We're here to hear you out too! Please get help.

You do not need to take your purity ring off-- you are pure! You were violated, and that scumbag took advantage of your vunerability.

This pig raped you and you need to report it. He knew all the right buttons to push and he pushed them. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT and you are still pure.
Tell your mom what has happened but you must also report this. This pig may do this kind thing often. He had no right!
It is important that you report this and talk to your mom or someone. Counseling will help you with this as well.

Wow I'm very sorry this happened to you. I would say hun that you need to tell your parent's or a mentor or something. Not to scare you but you need to get checked out to make sure he didn't hurt you or give you anything, especially if he did not use protection. You are still very much pure and this in No Way was your fault. Tell your parents and get help because something like this is not easy to get over. I know it will not be easy to do but in the end you will feel so much better! He hurt you and you did not deserve that! Just know that you did nothing wrong, it's not your fault he was a loser and did that to you. You are in no way to blame, don't feel back about giving him a second chance, you didn't know this was going to happen. Good luck and I wish you the best!

Um... PRESS CHARGES. Then try to get some help. I don't think anyone here is qualified to give you all the help you really need. Talk to someone. Even the people that warned you, I'm sure they won't abandon you now of all times.

I’m so sorry this happened to you and I know what an intensely vulnerable time this is for you. Rape changes a person forever but it doesn’t mean you will never be happy again or stronger for getting through this.

Trust me when I tell you that you MUST focus on the good and not the bad because unfortunately what happened can’t be changed so you have to struggle to get to your future and make it good again.

Even though I know your life has changed as in all rape victims don’t let him control the rest of your life. He's a rapist and deserves jail. Healing will come by much easier if you have him arrested. He took your power, now take his... you’ll feel much better.

You did nothing wrong - You really need to tell your family and see a counselor ASAP.

I don’t think you need to take your promise ring off. Your promise is to wait to give yourself to that special deserving guy. You didn’t give yourself to that creep... it was just a criminal act.

I'm confused. Did this just happen, or is this the same event as this;

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/am-still-virgin-453913.html

I think this might be the first time he tried.

Please talk to some adult close to you. If not your parents, then an aunt or cousin. This guy must be stopped. He forced himself on you, and now thinks that he got away with it. You promised God to stay a virgin until you got married. How about the next girl that he attacks? Do you think that God wants you to be a silent victim? He committed a sin against you. He should be punished. I will reserve comment on MY personal choice.

People need to take care of you. Please seek help. There are places that you can go to for assistance. Start with the police station.

This will not get better by itself.

May God give you strength and peace.