we have a male cat, fixed, 16 years old. Always been in pretty good health, has some arthritis. His owner is my grandmother, who is on her last leg. And sadly is doing a pretty serious job of it over the last few months.

the problem we are having is the cat has over the last few days randomly started sticking his but up and peeing, spray style, in the house, not wiating to go out. (he is in outside cat)

he is also pulling large tufts of hair out. Not grooming and them falling out. His is ripping patches out himself.

please help give us some insight to this.

Is grandma still living at home with the cat? He may sense something's going on with her. If she's no longer there, he may be reacting to that change in his life. Cats are very sensitive to change. Our older cat was pulling out his hair for about a year. We changed his food, brushed him more often, but something was stressing him out. Another older cat had died, so he might have been reacting to that vacancy in the house. The deceased cat was very "talkative" and now this cat "talks" a lot (he never used to), so I'm guessing there's a connection especially with stress with your grandmother and everyone else being more edgy.

Google "Bach's flower remedies." There is one for calming animals who are stressed. Or post something on the Cats board and someone will give you advice about Bach's.

After all this rambling, I'm guessing his behavior is connected to your grandmother's failing health.

She is still here. She has been seeming to be slowly dying for the last year :( but she has been more serious about it the last few months and has given up on eating unless forced, and she just sort of sits in her bed and weeps no matter how much we try to make her feel better or anything :( :(

I didn't think that stress or heart break could cause those kinds of problems in a cat though :( thanks for telling me.

It sounds like stress and/or depression. He knows his person is dying, and he wants to stay near her. Not grooming and/or pulling out fur is a fairly common way cats react to stress and changes around them.

Let him stay with her as much as he wants to. They'll take comfort from each other. I wouldn't be terribly surprised if he follows her within the year.

Yes, I have already considered that too. I know that if she dies first, he will follow close behind.
And if he dies first, she will follow close behind. She raised him from a kitten,and now at 16 years, I don't think they are accually separate anymore.

I know I'm late to the party but...

I'd say he's definitely feeling the mood of grandma. I don't know that he knows she's dying, but certainly what she's feeling emotionally, and it appears she is done with living. As a side note on the grandma, I doubt you can do anything for her other than support her. Sometimes one's life is over and it's just a matter of waiting until the body decides to catch up with the mind. And the cat is sensing what is happening in the mind.

I understand all too well the great bond that can exist between human and animal. It might help grandma if the cat were around her more, because it may be the one thing she could take comfort in right now. I know I always turn to my cats when other things around me are falling apart.

You can try the Bach's essenses - in particular Rescue Remedy. You'll find it easily enough with a Google search. Also you may try Feliway for the spraying problem - you want to use it in the areas he's spraying in.

Sad position to be in. Feel for you.