My parnets won't show me my birth certificate. And I think I might be adopted, so how can I find out if I am

Simply stated, you can't.

Your birth certificate won't tell you whether you're adopted, anyway.

Once an adoption is legal through the courts, your birth certificate is changed.

Unless you are using a wrong name, your name will be what is shown on the birth certificate and if in school today would have been required to get you into school.
At least anywhere I know of.

And birth certificates don't show adopted, I am adopted, but my birth certificate shows my adoptive parents as the birth parents.

Why do you believe you are adopted,
And if you are not, how much this would hurt your parents

Ok I am a little alarmed that they won't show you your birth certificate. But if the certificate's in order then you should be able to inquire at your school. Tell your principal your concerns, and if this not showing you the birth certificate thing is just your parents being defensive then your principal will confirm that the school system has one on file (like your medical records). If there is something wrong the principle can look into it.

Warning!: If you proceed, you will hurt your parents and will have to make amends to that fact. This is without a doubt. So you may want to let your principal know your concerns and then if all is in order NEVER bring it up and ask your principal NOT to address it. From time to time everyone suspect that they are adopted (no matter HOW MUCH they look like their parents and family) so don't feel alone. We all have those thoughts as a kid and a teen but most times you find out what you (in your heart) figured - you are not adopted.

I am an adoptive parent AND the child of an adopted parent. I believe in adoption and know that it is not different from being "born into" a family. You are with the family you were designed to be with and that's all there is to it.

But if there are bigger reasons for your concerns ADDRESS THEM just be cautious for the sake of peace of mind of all parties.

Oh, and if you find out your parents are biological (even if it ruins the fantasy of your rich family waiting to spoil you) you may want to remember its okay to feel this way, but it still hurts if you are using this as a weapon toward your parents.

Is it true that a birth certificate of a adopted child could be stamped "COPY"? Could that be a sign of an adoption that took place in 1952?

No, ANY birth certificate could be stamped "Copy."

Ok I am a little alarmed that they wont show you your birth certificate. But if the certificate's in order then you should be able to inquire at your school. Tell your principal your concerns, and if this not showing you the birth certificate thing is just your parents being defensive then your principal will confirm that the school system has one on file (like your medical records). If there is something wrong the principle can look into it.

Warning!: If you proceed, you will hurt your parents and will have to make amends to that fact. This is without a doubt. So you may want to let your principal know your concerns and then if all is in order NEVER bring it up and ask your principal NOT to address it. From time to time everyone suspect that they are adopted (no matter HOW MUCH they look like their parents and family) so dont feel alone. We all have those thoughts as a kid and a teen but most times you find out what you (in your heart) figured - you are not adopted.

I am an adoptive parent AND the child of an adopted parent. I believe in adoption and know that it is not different from being "born into" a family. You are with the family you were designed to be with and that's all there is to it.

But if there are bigger reasons for your concerns ADDRESS THEM just be cautious for the sake of peace of mind of all parties.

Oh, and if you find out your parents are biological (even if it ruins the fantasy of your rich family waiting to spoil you) you may want to remember its okay to feel this way, but it still hurts if you are using this as a weapon toward your parents.



This is dangerous information - a Principal is NOT allowed to disclose this information. Quite frankly, I'm shocked that you would even suggest this.

By all means the OP should speak to her parents but sneaking behind their backs - very bad "advice."

They re-issue a new birth certificate at the adoption, it will have your same place and date of birth but will show the adopted parents as the real parents. There is no way at all to tell it is not the exact original.

I agree with Fr. Chuck. When my (ex) husband and I adopted our youngest, we received a bonafide birth certificate with the new information. It is an original, not a copy.

First off I am NOT telling op to get a copy of the BC.

I am not telling this person to ask anything unseemly, so calm down. The principal DOES HAVE THE RIGHT to hear this.

What I am hearing, as an adoptive mom, its suspicous that the parents Won't show this person a birth certificate. WHY NOT? My son's certificate has my name on it - showing this person would not have given away any secrets.

Asking the principal if everything is in order is not out of line, especially in these times and I can't help but feel something is seriously wrong with her parents not show her a birth certificate unless there is none to produce.

Its not sneaking, if they do the research ON Their OWN and if it turns out that the fears are unfounded at least things are in order - as I mentioned - it will give the person piece of mind.

You seem to be reacting to the fact that I am talking to a teen and keeping it real. This a child/teen not an idiot. If kids are old enough to ask the question they they are old enough to hear an answer.

The question is in two part not just the title "am I adopted" but the subject that states "my parent wont show me my BC."

My answer focused on the latter. Adopted parents may or MAY NOT tell their kids they are adopted for their own reasons and it is a person choice. However, we all know that when a child is adopted they are reissued a BC with the adopted parents listed as the birth parents - even the trained would not know the difference because there is none. So why not just show the kid?

This is my problem, I thought I made it clear but I was wrong. You think talking to the principal is dangerous advice.

Principals, Doctors, teachers, lawyers and social workers are all people that are BY LAW resposible to take these concerns seriously and investigate and/or follow up. Who else does this person turn to if AS IN THE ORIGINAL POST the parent aren't responding?

You tell me I would love to know. I am not an expert on adoption but having been through the process myself I am not exactly ignorant.

I think I have fully defended my post - successfully or not - and I think I am moving on now.

I think we agree that the post is serious. I just think saw more issues than a teen who thinks they were adopted (which by the way is an issue that EVERYONE that I ever have known has had and most people I know were NOT adopted.)

You are saying that the Principal of a school has a legal right, perhaps a legal obligation, to disclose to a child who asks if he/she is adopted to tell the child "the truth?" Or am I misunderstanding you?

As far as advising me to "calm down" - I would suggest you have a few more posts and a lot more legal knowledge under your belt before you address anyone on this Board in that manner.

Until that child is adult that child is under the care and control of his/her parents and that includes the choice to tell or not to tell where adoption is concerned.

Please post whatever law you are relying on concerning the duty of "professionals" to advise this child against the wishes of the parents.

I would like to point out that it is ILLEGAL to help an adopted child search for biological parents.

The OTHER side of the "my parents won't show me my birth certificate" is this: Maybe they lost it. Maybe this is a ridiculous argument from a teen who is yelling "you obviously don't love me! I must be adopted! Show me my birth certificate to prove it!"

Maybe her parents aren't her parents at all, but her grandparents--and they agreed to let her mother tell her about the adoption, so refuse to break their word to their daughter.

But the LAST thing a principal should do is help a minor with a legal problem---especially since the FIRST thing any self-respecting school official is going to do is check with the parents to see what the other side of the story is.

You are fear-mongering, and giving bad legal advice.

I'm a birthmother--and looking at adopting due to a number of reasons. I've also been very active in the adoption community for the last 18 years. Your advice to the OP was that she should circumnavigate her parents choice on the matter and ask an uninvolved adult to get involved in a non-threatening situation.

I can think of a number of valid reasons not to show her her birth certificate--most of them revolving around the hurt and anger of being accused of not being her parents.

Edit 7/29/10--I meant to say that it is illegal to help a MINOR child search.

You are saying that the Principal of a school has a legal right, perhaps a legal obligation, to disclose to a child who asks if he/she is adopted to tell the child "the truth?" Or am I misunderstanding you?

Yes you misunderstood, I think I said this person should make sure the paperwork is in order. The principal can tell them they have a copy of the BC in their school records and that is legal.

I think I also said, that there is NO DIFFERENCE between the before adoption BC and the one issued after. So unless told, how would they know? And lastly I simply trying to address their concerns and how they might go about it without further hurting the parents' feelings. (which is the only reasons I can imagine them not showing the person unless AGAIN there is NO BIRTH CERTIFICATE TO SHOW - don't act like you have no idea what I am talking about)

About all that other stuff you are mentioning, never one place did I read that I had to be a lawyer in order to post here, so again calm down. I can care less who you are, if they deleted this and any other post here I just don't care!

Someone asked a question, I gave them an answer I never mis-quoted or quoted law or implied I was a lawyer so give me a break and get back to your life.

And I am telling you it does not matter, he can have 20 copies of his birth certificate and it will not tell him or show him that he is adopted.

Birth certificates of adopted people have no ID on them showing it as so.

And I am telling you it does not matter, he can have 20 copies of his birth certificate and it will not tell him or show him that he is adopted.

Birth certificates of adopted people have no ID on them showing it as so.

I agree with you chuck. But this person was denied a view, and that can make someone think something is wrong. Even birth children want to see their birth certificates. Shutting them down isn't an answer it is the beginning of a new problem and a bigger need to find answers.

If the parents are adopted, and wanted to keep this information to themselves, now THIS is what they caused by not just showing the BC a child that now suspects they are adopted, and worse something is wrong with that.

If the parents are the posted birth parents, then they aren't doing them a favor either by withholding something that could easily have been a bonding moment.

Children have the right to know. Not when you are ready WHEN THEY ARE. Sadly, anyone who thinks they are doing this kid a favor by defending the actions of the parents are really only inflaming this kid's rage. I advise this kid to confront the parents on their reasonings behind why they refused and if they do not give a satisfactory answer seek other authorities.

I am putting myself in this child's place and I am putting my son in this child's place, and the honest answer is something is wrong. The only thing left to suggest is a coarse of options.

Okay if I haven't said this before I am now, this is the last time I am defending a post. I think it is unnecessary, I quite frankly don't believe I am the only non-professional here (as in lawyer or social worker) and this is not a matter of life and death the same people who post here and read also get advice from a number of sources unqualified as myself to give advice but I am willing to bet they will smart enough to decide the best approach for them.

First children don't have any "rights" except for being allowed to do what their parents say. Children have obligations to go to school, ( and parents to send them to school)

Also school records are not open to the children, they are open to the parents, only to the child after they turn of age.

If there are reasons, ( perhaps dad is not the birth dad listed on the certificate and no one ever told them, is what comes to my mind)

Or it may be the issue that they lost it, parents are being hounded by child and get tired of it.
If the child can not take the parents word, the parents have no legal obligation to show it to them.

first children don't have any "rights" except for being allowed to do what their parents say. Children have obligations to go to school, ( and parents to send them to school)

Also school records are not open to the children, they are open to the parents, only to the child after they turn of age.


Children do have rights, although 'rights' is not a universally defined term. There are, however, protections in place for children when it becomes clear that any parent or guardian is inadequate, abusive, neglectful, et cetera, and these protections can most certainly be referred to as rights.

And to enforce these "rights" are children advocates or organizations who act or speak on the child's behalf.

So no, it is not the case that children have no "rights" other than to "obey". Nor should it be, given that there are so many parents out there who are not parents at all.

Also - Miss Sojourna is not advocating the child here be given access to school records. She is only recommending that the child ask the principal to look into his/her records FOR her, and determine that everything is in order, and there's nothing fishy going on.

And there's nothing wrong with that advice, considering that a) a high-ranking school official is a good candidate to approach about any parental concerns and b) not all parents behave in the manner expected of them. There ARE bad parents out there that need to be checked up on, unfortunately. And who knows if that is the case here or not? I certainly do not, and it's always better to be safe than to be sorry.

And there's nothing wrong with that advice, considering that a) a high-ranking school official is a good candidate to approach about any parental concerns and b) not all parents behave in the manner expected of them. There ARE bad parents out there that need to be checked up on, unfortunately. And who knows if that is the case here or not? I certainly do not, and it's always better to be safe than to be sorry.

Thank you! I am glad someone understood what I was saying.

I'm saying that if you told MY child to talk to the principal about this, and I got a call from the principal about what a horrible parent I am to not show my child his or her birth certificate--you can bet your A$$ that my child would be getting one hell of a punishment that night.

And frankly, while I agree that children should be told from birth that they are adopted--it's NOT YOUR BUSINESS. The legal parents are who decides what to tell a minor child before the child turns 18.

I don't care if you don't defend your posts further, frankly.

But I will not hesitate to mark your bad advice as what it is from here on out, either.

I tried to play nice with you, but it seems that you want to do things YOUR way, regardless how inappropriate your advice is to minor children and adoptees prior to open adoption about what they can and cannot do.

You may as well tell people waiting to adopt that they just need to go to their local hospital because there are ALWAYS babies there that need parents. THAT is how far off your advice is!

I'm saying that if you told MY child to talk to the principal about this, and I got a call from the principal about what a horrible parent I am to not show my child his or her birth certificate--you can bet your A$$ that my child would be getting one hell of a punishment that night.

And frankly, while I agree that children should be told from birth that they are adopted--it's NOT YOUR BUSINESS. But I will not hesitate to mark your bad advice as what it is from here on out, either.

I tried to play nice with you, but it seems that you want to do things YOUR way, regardless how inappropriate your advice is to minor children and adoptees prior to open adoption about what they can and cannot do.

You may as well tell people waiting to adopt that they just need to go to their local hospital because there are ALWAYS babies there that need parents. THAT is how far off your advice is!!

LOL! You are hilarious! You really would punish your child for seeking clarity? How odd! Really?

Well rest assured your "child" will be safe from your punishment because once reported the principal would not CALL you and tell you how bad a parent you are - unless you are best friends and even then I doubt it - that's their JOB to listen to the kids and if there was something WORTH investigation they will do so with or without your consent. You folks keep believing kids have no rights, there are laws in place.

When have you tried to play nice with me and why? You don't seem exceptionally bright in my opinion and I am not impressed with your knowledge of adoptions nor your ability to read and understand what I am saying. You are out for a fight and nothing I say or do will keep you from it so have at it! As far as something being "not my business" LOL are you kidding? This is a message board on the internet not the adoption hotline. I am NOT an adoption specialist (as in lawyer or social worker) however I don't see how you are in any better position then I am to dispense advice, what makes you more qualified than me or so more qualified you feel I need to justify myself to you?

I, however, am BOTH the child of a parent who was adopted And an adoptive mother. Albeit that may not qualify me as an expert legal or otherwise (as it pertains to adoption), still it does speak to my own experiences which is more then necessary aparently as I have much common with the poster and can see things in their prospective.

So tell me who are you and why should I care? You may feel free to preach on about how you find my advice poorly given, or you can take a higher ground and just give better advice, got this feeling YOU GOT NOTHING!

I know your type, you feel you are best used as a sheriff of sorts. I got news for you my mother was a teacher my farther a cop and both educate so I know when someone is offering to educate me. However, if you think spewing your opinions about my posts is edifying or educating, you're simply kididng yourself.

I know that I have been more than clear here and any issues you seem to have, have been mostly a difference of opinion - in other words although your sanctimonious tone implies that you believe that you are putting me in my place, but in reality you are simply showing yourself to be petty oddly threatened by any oppion that does not mirror your own.

I think maybe I will stop laughing now, I really should. This isn't that funny just, well, sad.

No, I'd punish my child for taking it to someone else after I told them the issue was closed for now.

We do not know the whole story her--and I have a feeling you are imagining these evil parents that are being selfish or dishonest about the birth certificate. The other side of the story may be a spoiled teen that was using it as a goad in an argument, and the parent said I'm not doing this because you need to trust that I'm your parent and doing what is best for you.

Besides--please point me to one teenager with a different temperament than his or her parent that DOESN'T think that they MUST be adopted, because they couldn't POSSIBLY come from parents like THAT.

And you're one of those people that uses (ineffectual) time outs, aren't you--and that talks to your children as if they were adults and should know everything you do, aren't you?

What in the WORLD makes you think the principal would see abuse in not seeing a birth certificate? How is that "worth investigation"?

"oh, principal, I am nothing like my parents and I just KNOW I must be adopted--but they won't show me my birth certificate. Can you please make them? Or show me my birth certificate on file?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA---yeah, right. There are laws in place for THAT, too--and minors don't have as many rights as you think.

How am I more qualified? First--I'm a prospective adoptive parent AND a birthparent. I've also worked with birthparent support groups for 18 years, and have done research on adoption--both the laws and social aspects. I've also worked with adopted children, and have kept in touch with my child's adoptive parents.

I ALSO work in the registrar's office of a private school, so understand that a principal may listen to the student, but he's not going to "investigate" anything until he gets the parents' side of the story, especially with no evidence of abuse. Kids will say some pretty horrible things about their parents when they're angry, and getting CPS involved before the whole story is there is completely irresponsible. Plus--minor students do NOT have the right to inspect their file. Period.

You are NOT playing nice. You are giving advice that could, while not put the child in danger, make things more difficult than it needs to be.

Guess what? My mother was a mother, and my dad an engineer. What do your parents have to do with ANYTHING? I work in administration in a school, I know how much of the time these things will be handled.

Why do you think that your situation as an adoptive mother and the grandchild of an adoptee makes you better than a birthmother who has been involved in the adoption community (online, through Lutheran Social Services, through an independent birthmother support group, an through a research study on birthparents years later)?

I'm telling you that telling a child to stir up the ant hill because she's not getting what she wants from her parents is bad advice.

Take that any way you want.

I didn't realize this is/was a message board. I thought it was a question and answer site.

Love getting legal advice from people who have never set foot in a law school, have no other experience, can't research - but KNOW they are right because of some mysterious "gut" feeling.

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