I'm preganat and I don't want it but my moms says to keep it but I already have 4 kids and I don't need another one what can I do

If you are old enough to get pregnant 5 times you are old enough to make your own decisions concerning this fifth pregnancy.

Review your options and make your own decision.

I trust your method of birth control failed and you will now begin using some other type of protection?

Talk to an adoption counselor to learn about another option. I think if you already have four, you know what is involved. You should not be a parent because your mother wants you to be a parent - not a good enough reason.

How old are you? Can you provide for the children you already have, or for another one? What does the father think? Are you married?

I think you are wise to consider all your options- including abortion and adoption.

You have said in your question that you don't want it, but your mother does. Please consider that it will not be her raising this child, but you. And with four already on the go, I can see why you would not want a 5th.

You do have options, and you do not have to have a baby that you cannot afford or want. This is your choice, and yours alone.

When you consult your Doctor and decide what to do, perhaps it's time to think about having a tubal so you are not in this position again.

Good luck to you.

Have to spread rep but I agree with Jake. You have enough kids, and adoption and abortion are both options. Whatever you decide, you need long-term, reliable birth control. If you aren't ready for tubal ligation (having your tubes tied) there are other long-term options that you don't have to remember, and are reversible if you change your mind later.

Don't abort or give adoption. WHy?because I think its unfair for all your other kids to be with their biological mom and just because they are alredy there this one that is on its way can't be.do you think that's fair? And if you give him for adoption your kids will remember you having their baby brother and will ask you when they are older what happened to their little brother?what will you tell them and what will be your explanation. If you abort or give him on adoption my opinion is this.. UNFAIR>

DOnt abort or give adoption. WHy?because I think its unfair for all your other kids to be with thier biological mom and just becuase they are alredy there this one that is on its way can't be.do you think thats fair? and if you give him for adoption your kids will remember you having their baby brother and will ask you when they are older what happend to their little brother?what will you tell them and what will be your explanation. if you abort or give him on adoption my opinion is this.. UNFAIR>


In view of your plan to leave your child with his grandmother in another Country I find your opinion to be of little value. What will be your explanation when YOUR child asks why you abandoned him?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/want-leave-son-his-grandmother-other-country-473647.html

DOnt abort or give adoption.
Why? Are you going to be supporting this child? If not then you have no say. This is her decision not yours.

As for the OP do look into these options [abortion & adoption].


because I think its unfair for all your other kids to be with their biological mom and just because they are alredy there this one that is on its way can't be.do you think that's fair? And if you give him for adoption your kids will remember you having their baby brother and will ask you when they are older what happened to their little brother?what will you tell them and what will be your explanation. If you abort or give him on adoption my opinion is this.. UNFAIR>

It's her body, it's her decision, not the kid's. If she is struggling she should have been using contraception and practicing safe sex--- that's assuming she wasn't doing this already. Anyway she's pregnant now-- what she does is her decision, not anyone else's INCLUDING her mother's.

If you do decide to keep the child, you may resent it if you don't want the child in the first place. The child would be happier in a loving home where parents WANT the child.

In view of your plan to leave your child with his grandmother in another Country I find your opinion to be of little value. What will be your explanation when YOUR child asks why you abandoned him?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/want-leave-son-his-grandmother-other-country-473647.html

That's different cause I only plan leaving him there until I pay some money I owe and finish probation and all my credits.. LOOK! I go to school for 3 hrs. from 8-11 and at 1 30 I have to be at the factory working until 11 and sometimes I do overtime. Do you think its fair for him to be at a daycare that long. Do you think its fair for me to give almost my whole check to the daycare?think about it

why? Are you going to be supporting this child? If not then you have no say. This is her decision not yours.

As for the op do look into these options [abortion & adoption].



It's her body, it's her decision, not the kid's. If she is struggling she should have been using contraception and practicing safe sex--- that's assuming she wasn't doing this already. Anyways she's pregnant now-- what she does is her decision, not anyone else's including her mother's.

If you do decide to keep the child, you may resent it if you don't want the child in the first place. The child would be happier in a loving home where parents want the child.

Look her mom says to keep the child for a reason> I don't know the reason but I respect it because I know she wouldn't have done the same thing to her when she found out she was pregnant of her.

Thats different cause I only plan leaving him there until I pay some money I owe and finish probation and all my credits.. LOOK! I go to school for 3 hrs. from 8-11 and at 1 30 I have to be at the factory working until 11 and sometimes I do overtime. do you think its fair for him to be at a daycare that long. do you think its fair for me to give almost my whole check to the daycare?think about it



Yes, I've thought about it - I don't think your plans are fair to your child. You are abandoning him to the care of his Grandmother IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. You certainly aren't going to be kissing him goodnight every night. You go to school for three hours a day? What school has this kind of schedule? Certainly not College (or it would take you 15 years to finish).

As far as working at the factory - I'm not going to support you so I guess you have to do what you can.

Do I think it's fair for you to give almost your whole check to "the" daycare? I think these are things you think about either before you have a child OR when the child is born and you are thinking about adoption. Again, I'm not paying for child care for your child.

How much does the father contribute to the support of the child? If he doesn't, why doesn't he?

AND you're on probation? For what?

Do you think an unwed mother who goes to school 3 hours a day, works in a factory, ships her child off to another Country to be cared for by his paternal Grandmother, whose own family will not watch her child, is being fair to a child who could certainly have more opportunities than I see ahead?

Do you know why I didn't have a child when I was single (and apparently with no father in sight), in school and working (I didn't have to deal with probation)? Because I COULDN'T AFFORD A CHILD, emotionally OR financially. Please don't question ME and MY motives when you post.

Maybe you should look at yourself before you start criticizing other people.

<rude and vulgar post quote removed>

Credit Recovery is a program, like many others, to bail out immature girls who don't have the sense of a flea to get themselves on birth control, or abstain from sex, or use some form of birth control.

Your spelling makes you seem so immature, and your words are so angry. To attack someone for stating an opinion is very disrespectful. Most people know this, and seldom are those posting in good faith in order to help, treated the way you have treated Judy.

Your friend that has six kids and one on the way, is not a badge of honour as you seem to think it is. Being supported by the Government because she doesn't work 'or nothing' as you say, is like saying it's OK to live off other people's money. TAXPAYERS money. Six kids is ridiculous. Absolutely inexcuseable.

You may get your credits- and good for you. I hope that someday you can stand on your own two feet without assistance, and provide for your children, all four of them, and maybe five.

I really do feel sorry for you that you didn't learn after the first one, or the third one, or now, finding yourself pregnant for the 5th time.

What do you expect people to think- you are hardly a good example of a responsible mother, you have children you cannot afford without assistance, and you are popping out babies because you choose to make the decision not to be on birth control.

That is as irresponsible as it gets in my opinion. It is not us- it is YOU.

Rude and vulgar post quote removed

I've changed my mind - THANK GOODNESS someone else is raising your child because you have no class whatsoever.

Wow - a badge of honor. Six kids, one on the way. How does she support them - oh, that's right - the government which boils down to the taxpayers, me for example. Maybe if you'd answer a question or two somebody would have a clue why you are on probation, where the father is, why you don't get child support, why your own family won't help you.

And a program for people who need more time for their kids so the program takes the "parent" away from the kids for three hours a day? How does that allow a parent to spend more time with the child?

As far as the rest of this, you posted what you posted and now you have to live with it. Or maybe you won't have to live with it because I'm pretty sure you're ranting and raving will get you suspended.

Again - I trust you're not an English major - ?

To the OP (Momo104) it's your decision, not your mothers. You already have 4 mouths to feed and if you feel that you can't feed another then you're doing what's best for those that are already here, already in your care.

It may be hard to make the decision, adoption, abortion or keeping the child, but you do have options and you do have to look into them, soon. If you choose abortion then you have limited time before it's too late for that choice.

We're here to help in any way we can.

Rude and vulgar post quote removed

Now listen here young lady. If you have a child then it's time to grow up! You do not speak this way to people, especially to people that have taken care of their responsibilities and not relied on anyone but themselves to do so.

I am guessing that you are very young. I'm also hoping that English is not your first language, if it is, then stay in school because you are nowhere near ready to graduate.

I think it's wise to give your child to his grandmother. I'm sure she can do a much better job of raising him, and I'm making that judgment based on your posts alone. You are obviously not mature enough and not responsible enough to raise a child and only your child will suffer because
AND ILL DO WATEVER DA (deleted because of vulgarity) I want when I want 2..

Grow up and keep your legs crossed so you don't end up like your friend with 6 kids and no income other then government assistance.

To the OP: I think it's best for you to look in to all of your options, as the other's have stated. Although I'm not a fan of abortion personally, it's your decision. I think Adoption would be a very good idea. Also, If you're not going to have another kid after this child (you've made it clear that you don't want to have others) then I think good birth control or a tubal ligation might be good options.

As for the rest of this thread, it's okay to have your opinions but let's stay on topic. The other person that's been commenting the most on this thread apparently has her own, lets take the conversation there..

Stephanie... I'm very glad your child isn't living with you! You are a very disturbed young lady. The lady who posted is asking for advice and you have taken the focus off her question.. by your ranting and raving. Knock it off!

I myself do not believe in abortion but I will not tell this mother of four what to do. That's her decision... and until I have walked in her shoes or you have you need to chill out.

I myself think adoption is the best option.. there are so many wonderful people who would love to have a child, but are unable too.

The way you (Stephanie) have talked to the experts here tells me you like to talk the talk,but you can't walk the walk.These people are here to help and because they don't agree with you or call you on your mistakes, you go into a tantrum just like a two year old. GROW UP!
Momo.. Good luck and Blessings in whatever you choose to do... Experts.. I would trust any of you with my life... Kit

If the OP cannot control herself and post like an adult looking for help, then this thread will be closed.

If the OP cannot control herself and post like an adult looking for help, then this thread will be closed.

It's not the OP as I see it being a problem here, it's "stephanie5" being disrespectful.

To Momo, you have to do whatever YOU can live with. I have to ask, how is the quality of life for the other four children? Is another child going to reduce their that quality?

Even though you should always respect your mother, that does not include her making lifelong decisions for you. I wonder is her choice to keep this fifth child based on religious belief?

No matter what you do, it must be something that you think out carefully. Because it's one that you have to live with, not your mother. It's YOUR face in the mirror, looking back at you. Choose wisely.

Please reconsider your birth control methods. It will keep you out of these difficult positions.

May God bless you at this trying time in your life. And God bless the children that you already have.

And finally to "stephanie5", on your avatar your location is listed as 'top secret". Well, you're not hiding THAT well. It must be your feet sticking up giving away your position. Give respect, get respect. Grow up potty mouth.

My sincerest apologies to the OP---

I mis-looked, and thought that Stephanie5 WAS the OP!

I'm very very sorry for chastising the OP.

I stand by my words to Stephanie, though.

My sincerest apologies to the OP---

I mis-looked, and thought that Stephanie5 WAS the OP!!

I'm very very sorry for chastising the OP.

I stand by my words to Stephanie, though.






Momo... you keep posting okay?

The emotional impact this will have on the other 4 children should be considered. Are the still young enough that you can explain away mom's big belly. What does the father have to say. Yes this is your body and your decision and you are the one who lives with it the rest of your life. No matter what you decide it's not going to be easy. Nothing worth while ever is. Quit asking others to make up your mind the answer is in your heart just listen. Good luck.

The emotional impact this will have on the other 4 children should be considered. Are the still young enough that you can explain away mom's big belly. What does the father have to say. Yes this is your body and your decision and you are the one who lives with it the rest of your life. No matter what you decide it's not going to be easy. Nothing worth while ever is. Quit asking others to make up your mind the answer is in your heart just listen. Good luck.





This Op is asking for advice and we give her advice. Our advice is an opinion only. It is not up to you or anyone to tell her to "quit asking others to make up your mind". That isn't what she's doing . She is asking for someone to talk with. You need to read the rules before you tell someone not to ask for advice. To clue you in this is an ASK ME HELP DESK.

The emotional impact this will have on the other 4 children should be considered. Are the still young enough that you can explain away mom's big belly. What does the father have to say. Yes this is your body and your decision and you are the one who lives with it the rest of your life. No matter what you decide it's not going to be easy. Nothing worth while ever is. Quit asking others to make up your mind the answer is in your heart just listen. Good luck.



Agree with Kitkat - if you don't want advice or don't want to give advice, post somewhere other than Ask Me HELP DESK. Perhaps the discussion threads are more to your liking.

Apparently the answer ISN'T in her heart or she wouldn't be asking.

I will charm in just a bit, while I may disagree with them, the advice to make up your own mind is also their opinion and while we may not agree, is also an answer, and not against the site rules that I can tell.

I will charm in just a bit, while I may disagree with them, the advice to make up your own mind is also their opinion and while we may not agree, is also an answer, and not against the site rules that I can tell.





I hope the OP will continue to post... Fr_Chuck... thanks... :)
I think sometimes there are people who feel so alone.. the only ones they feel they can talk to are nameless, faceless people, who will listen. Whether you know it or not you have been an inspiration to me... I respect your opinion and many others on this forum. You have also made me laugh a lot(compliment).

Stephanie I respect your choice of how to manage your parenting responsibilities and would not criticize your choices. However, this poster has four kids, knows what's involved in parenting, and does not feel she can raise a fifth.

I think when a woman says "I'm overwhelmed and cannot do this" they need to be listened to, not talked out of their feelings. Clearly she needs reliable birth control, and she also needs to be encouraged to think from a very practical sense about what her limits are to care for all these kids, and what options are available to her.

Tough questions can arise no matter what she does but can be answered for her children in an age appropriate way, and as they become teens and ultimately adults, they can certainly grow in understanding the difficulty of her circumstances. She need not fear what they will think if one child is placed for adoption, nor if she makes a mature decision to abort this unplanned pregnancy if it's not too late to do so.

Stephanie I respect your choice of how to manage your parenting responsibilities and would not criticize your choices. However, this poster has four kids, knows what's involved in parenting, and does not feel she can raise a fifth.

I think when a woman says "I'm overwhelmed and cannot do this" they need to be listened to, not talked out of their feelings. Clearly she needs reliable birth control, and she also needs to be encouraged to think from a very practical sense about what her limits are to care for all these kids, and what options are available to her.

Tough questions can arise no matter what she does but can be answered for her children in an age appropriate way, and as they become teens and ultimately adults, they can certainly grow in understanding the difficulty of her circumstances. She need not fear what they will think if one child is placed for adoption, nor if she makes a mature decision to abort this unplanned pregnancy if it's not too late to do so.

Wise words...

I'd also like to point out that most adoptions these days are OPEN---so she and her children COULD have a relationship with the child placed for adoption.

I'd also like to point out that most adoptions these days are OPEN---so she and her children COULD have a relationship with the child placed for adoption.




That's true Synnen... Happens everyday and I think it works well in cases I have seen.