I'm currently 6 months pregnant with a little girl. This is my first child. I met my ex fiancé a year ago and a short time after meeting we got engaged and I became pregnant. Everything was great until a month ago He started recieveing child support deductions on his paychecks. They were really high too... $851 per month. He told me someone from his past must be lying on him and he had no idea about any child or court dates. I did a little research on my own with his ssn and discovered he is married with 2 children... one of them born this feb! Needless to say I dumped him and am getting ready to raise a child on my own. The problem is that he was financially supporting me... i.e. paying rent, electricity bills, water bills, phone bills etc. I have to leave my apartment now because his child support order does not leave him money to take care of me. What can I do to get the financial support I am owed and need in order to support a child I'm about to have. Do I have any chance of being awarded monies in court after the child is born?

Sure you will get child support too. Not as much as the first mother is getting so you will have to find a job. That is how people find the money they need to support themselves... by working. Granted you won't be working long enough to use FMLA for time off from work but at least you might be able so save up some money to pay ahead on your rent and utilities. Do you have any family that you could stay with to save up some money? I'm really not sure what you are going after. It takes two to make a baby so it really isn't just up to him to support it, it will be up to you as well.

I'm currently 6 months pregnant with a little girl. This is my first child. I met my ex fiance a year ago and a short time after meeting we got engaged and I became pregnant. Everything was great until a month ago He started recieveing child support deductions on his paychecks. They were really high too... $851 per month. he told me someone from his past must be lying on him and he had no idea about any child or court dates. I did a little research on my own with his ssn and discovered he is married with 2 children... one of them born this feb! Needless to say i dumped him and am getting ready to raise a child on my own. The problem is that he was financially supporting me... i.e. paying rent, electricity bills, water bills, phone bills etc. I have to leave my apartment now because his child support order does not leave him money to take care of me. What can i do to get the financial support I am owed and need in order to support a child I'm about to have. Do I have any chance of being awarded monies in court after the child is born?


You refer to the financial support you are owed. You aren't owed ANY financial support until the child is born and the Court orders him to pay.

The child support for your child will be based on his income AFTER he pays child support to his "other" family so it will be in a reduced amount.

If you can prove it's his child, yes, you'll be ordered child support but not in an amount sufficient to support you and the child.

You'll need to get a job, just like most of the other single mothers out there, and support your child.

Everyone please believe me I have looked for work and absolutely no one will hire me. I think it has something to do with having a large lump on my stomach. When I met my ex I was working. I was working 2 jobs and going to school online which hardly left me anytime to date. A month into the relationship he asked to quit one job so we could be together more and a little later on I quit the second job because he offered to completely take care of me financially if I allowed him to move into my apartment. Everything was working out fine until these child suppport deductions started to take place. I'm not quite sure how his wife is getting child support even though they are not divorced nor legally separated but she is. Because of this lie he told me it left me on my own and unable to find suitable employment to take care of myself. Good or bad I was counting on him for his financial help. I have already moved out of my apartment causing me to break a lease which is going to be very costly and also incur other debts because I have no way to pay bills.

So with all that said in your opinions am I solely at fault with what is happening to me now and will the court see things that way? Am I doomed to handle all this financial debt by myself because of a lie I believed?

Were you both on the lease at the apartment? If so, he'll be responsible for half. If your name is the only name on the lease, bad news, you're responsible for breaking that lease and you will have to pay.

As for the rest, yes he lied, but he didn't do anything illegal. Immoral, yes, illegal, no.

You both made a child together and while you were together he did support you, but he's not responsible to support you now, only the child and only after it's born. If he's smart he'll drag it out, demand a paternity test.

You will eventually get child support, but even then, you as the other parent are also responsible to pay for the child's upbringing.

I realize that it's hard for you to find a job right now, but that's really your only option, other then moving in with your parents and hoping that they'll take care of you and the baby.

As I said before yes, you will get child support but that is it. Are you not a responsible adult? Was his name added to the lease when he moved in? If not the most you could get is in a small claims court to pay for half of the remaining rent if you can prove that he was a second tenant. Even if his wife wasn't getting support right now if they are getting divorced (which I'm going to guess that they are) she would still get more because she has the older children. Sure it takes two of make a baby. I also know that it probably is hard to get hired on this far along however that is where you are. Do you have any friends or family that you could live with for a little while? I'm not judging you but I would have been a little concerned if someone said "I'll support you if I can move in" and I don't think I would have quit both of my jobs until I made for certain everything was legit. But that's me I generally don't take people at their face value.

Everyone please believe me I have looked for work and absolutely no one will hire me. I think it has something to do with having a large lump on my stomach. When I met my ex I was working. I was working 2 jobs and going to school online which hardly left me anytime to date. A month into the relationship he asked to quit one job so we could be togehter more and a little later on I quit the second job because he offered to completely take care of me financially if I allowed him to move into my apartment. Everything was working out fine until these child suppport deductions started to take place. I'm not quite sure how his wife is getting child support even though they are not divorced nor legally seperated but she is. Because of this lie he told me it left me on my own and unable to find suitable employment to take care of myself. Good or bad I was counting on him for his financial help. I have already moved out of my apartment causing me to break a lease which is going to be very costly and also incur other debts because I have no way to pay bills.

So with all that said in your opinions am I solely at fault with what is happening to me now and will the court see things that way? Am I doomed to handle all this financial debt by myself because of a lie I believed?


I don't know what you mean by solely at fault - legally you are responsible for all debts in YOUR name. I see pregnant women behind counters all the time - Subway, McDonalds, Burger King. Maybe that's not your job of choice but it IS work.

As far as believing him, getting pregnant, having debts, being unable to support yourself - those are all good reasons to get married before bringing a child into the World. If you were married the Courts would jump on this and order spousal support.

You do not have that option.

I would just like to point out that if you can't support yourself--how in the WORLD can you support a child?

Not knocking you down for making a few bad choices, and I know it's hard to get a job ANYWHERE when you'll be taking maternity leave in 3 months--but you have made a lot of EMOTIONAL decisions in the last year, and not as many LOGICAL decisions.

I honestly think that you should talk to a counselor about adoption. In a lot of cases, the adoptive parents can support you financially until you give birth, to ensure you have a healthy child. I'm not trying to make your decision for you--but I have a feeling it is an option you have not even thought about.

The only way for him to have $800 deducted monthly from his paycheck is by the way of a court order that is entered when a divorce action is finalized.