vishd
May 23, 2010, 09:35 AM
I met a person online on one of those credible dating sites. It's a long distance one as we're about 3 hrs of flight away from each other. We were 'matched' in January and quickly realized we had a lot in common. It started with simple emails at the beginning but we've been texting and calling each other as much as possible for a good 2-3 months already. We even managed to meet up once about a month ago -- she flew down for a weekend -- and we had a great time getting to know each in person. Last week we've been working out our second meet up -- my turn to fly up for a weekend. So, everything seemed to be going well so far. But things changed quite a bit...
Reality is we are both working hard and happen to be going through some pretty long hours. We both had new jobs/roles in our hands. I've had to travel out for work a couple of times and sometimes it was hard to hold our regular chats (but tried to text each other as much as possible). This was about a month ago for me, and things have been more manageable since then. She seemed very understanding about all this. Now, its her end with long hours with some project deadlines for the next couple of months. She said she's been feeling a bit stressed lately. She mentioned that her schedule's getting more hectic and it would get harder to keep in touch. She added that she tends to get frazzled under stress. All this I mentioned is understandable. But, I guess she started to have second thoughts about us. When we started planning the second meet up, we discussed if and why we should move forward. We both understood that it would take a bit more time of knowing each other before any serious commitment. The night of this discussion we both said we would sleep on it to decide on the final travel plans.
When we talked next, we both agreed that we had a lot in common. I mentioned to her that we both seemed mature and understanding for the whole long distance thing to work out. I also said that I am willing to be flexible with her work schedule. But, she mentioned that she's still uncertain to move forward from her end. She said that it might become annoying (for both) soon and thinking practically, it didn't seem like it would pan out. Another concern she brought up was that she felt things might go slowly with the long distance thing. She felt that if things wouldn't work out, it would mean a lot of wasted time (talking for both sides). At this point, she sounded a bit definitive but felt not sure and wanted to hear from my end. I really didn't know what to say. I mentioned to her that I wanted this to be healthy for both. We both agreed that we had potential. But, I think the mature thing to do was to stop where it is. And, that's how we ended it.
I am obviously having second thoughts about this as I truly see a lot of potential. I mean, we have plenty of things in common. She seems like the well-minded and good-hearted person I've been waiting for. I feel like it would be a bit sad and regretful to let go of something so good. And, I've a feeling she's thinking the same. So, I starting thinking about proposing that we give it another try and thinking of ways to make it work. I could plan to go every/other weekend until her schedule settles down. Is that too much thinking? Need your advice :)
Reality is we are both working hard and happen to be going through some pretty long hours. We both had new jobs/roles in our hands. I've had to travel out for work a couple of times and sometimes it was hard to hold our regular chats (but tried to text each other as much as possible). This was about a month ago for me, and things have been more manageable since then. She seemed very understanding about all this. Now, its her end with long hours with some project deadlines for the next couple of months. She said she's been feeling a bit stressed lately. She mentioned that her schedule's getting more hectic and it would get harder to keep in touch. She added that she tends to get frazzled under stress. All this I mentioned is understandable. But, I guess she started to have second thoughts about us. When we started planning the second meet up, we discussed if and why we should move forward. We both understood that it would take a bit more time of knowing each other before any serious commitment. The night of this discussion we both said we would sleep on it to decide on the final travel plans.
When we talked next, we both agreed that we had a lot in common. I mentioned to her that we both seemed mature and understanding for the whole long distance thing to work out. I also said that I am willing to be flexible with her work schedule. But, she mentioned that she's still uncertain to move forward from her end. She said that it might become annoying (for both) soon and thinking practically, it didn't seem like it would pan out. Another concern she brought up was that she felt things might go slowly with the long distance thing. She felt that if things wouldn't work out, it would mean a lot of wasted time (talking for both sides). At this point, she sounded a bit definitive but felt not sure and wanted to hear from my end. I really didn't know what to say. I mentioned to her that I wanted this to be healthy for both. We both agreed that we had potential. But, I think the mature thing to do was to stop where it is. And, that's how we ended it.
I am obviously having second thoughts about this as I truly see a lot of potential. I mean, we have plenty of things in common. She seems like the well-minded and good-hearted person I've been waiting for. I feel like it would be a bit sad and regretful to let go of something so good. And, I've a feeling she's thinking the same. So, I starting thinking about proposing that we give it another try and thinking of ways to make it work. I could plan to go every/other weekend until her schedule settles down. Is that too much thinking? Need your advice :)