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View Full Version : Bio-dad suddenly asking for daughter's because.


foxybrown79
May 22, 2010, 07:46 AM
I live in ontario. My daughter is 6months old, her biological father is not on her birth certificate, he has his own family and I have a husband of 6years. My husbands name is on her birht certificate instead. The bio-dad never showed interest and never suported in anyway. He is now suddenly asking for her birht certificate, what could he probably need it for? What is d implication if I give it to him, what are his rights and where do I stand. I love my daughter more than anything imaginable and I don't want her to have a more complicated life. He offered to get me pregnant for no kind of gain since my husband couldn't and I agreed, we had no relationship and I got pregnant d first time we tried. Now he is threatening me and I don't know how to go about it.

tickle
May 22, 2010, 08:13 AM
First of all, if this chap made a verbal agreement with you to get you pregnant (while you were married) and your husband was in agreement (?) this sets up all sorts of red flags to me. You have more problems now, let alone him asking for your, and his daughter's birth certificate, owing to the fact that this was a surrogate deal and you should have involved a lawyer to iron out ALL complicated matters. Now it has come back to bite on the back side later on.Hire a lawyer and get him involved in all of the background information. If he is threatening you now, fix it legally so it ends.

Tick

Fr_Chuck
May 22, 2010, 08:30 AM
Ok, does husband know about it ?
What types of threats is he making, to sue you, to physcially hurt you or more ?

He may well be having second thoughts, he believed he could have a child and just walk away but now he can't, He perhaps wants to be part of the cihlds life.

While he does not need it, he may
1. be planning on filing court action asking to be named the father and get visits rights

2. He has no rights expect to file suit against you in court.
But the court is very likely to award him paternity and allow him to be part of the child's life.


You needed to have done this more officially with legal paperwork done, and have him sign over his rights, and allow husband to adopt

foxybrown79
May 22, 2010, 08:46 AM
Thanks a lot. First, My husband doesn't know about it, takes care of her like if she's his and for your second question, his threats were not specific but he stated that he would make life a living hell for me and do what I never expect. I don't have a problem if he decides that he wants to be a part of my daughter's life now as long as I am the sole custodian but I don't really understand what he wants exactly.
I wrote up an agreement that we both agreed on and read together, he made some changes on the agreement that I wrote with his handwritting, asked me to type it up and that we would both sign in the presence of a lawyer. As stupid as I was I got carried away and trusted him for his words and never bothered. I still have the agreement that shows both our hand writings but no signature but does that even mean anything in the court. I'm so confused and getting worried, its affecting me mentally and medically.

JudyKayTee
May 22, 2010, 09:50 AM
Your agreement means nothing - he cannot waive his legal rights.

Would I give him the birth certificate? No. What does he want it for if he's not on it?

You need to consult with an Attorney and be honest and up front.

You need the Court to sort through this and you also need to tell your husband.

These "side deals" NEVER go well.

foxybrown79
May 22, 2010, 12:08 PM
Thank u very much, I will do just that.

JudyKayTee
May 22, 2010, 06:13 PM
Thank u very much, i will do just that.


Let us know how this works out - it's an "interesting" situation, legally.

JudyKayTee
May 23, 2010, 07:22 AM
[QUOTE=asking agrees : Wait a minute. In the U.S. her husband would be the presumed legal father. Is it different in Canada?
.[/QUOTE]



Wait a minute? The child is six months old. Paternity can still be challenged.

This is a situation which should be straightened out NOW, before the child is older, before this turns into a very ugly mess. The natural father is requesting the birth certificate (the original question) for some reason. I can't believe it's because he needs reading material.

Is my minute over?

GV70
May 23, 2010, 12:06 PM
My ten cents here:

Children’s Law Reform Act-Ontario

Presumption of paternity
8. (1) Unless the contrary is proven on a balance of probabilities, there is a presumption that a male person is, and he shall be recognized in law to be, the father of a child in any one of the following circumstances:
1. The person is married to the mother of the child at the time of the birth of the child.
Application for declaration of paternity where no presumption
5. (1) Where there is no person recognized in law under section 8 to be the father of a child, any person may apply to the court for a declaration that a male person is his or her father, or any male person may apply to the court for a declaration that a person is his child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 5 (1).

GV70
May 23, 2010, 12:07 PM
Does he have rights to file??
That's the question. I do not know the answer but reading the Act I am willing to think he does not have right to establish himself as the father.

foxybrown79
May 23, 2010, 01:00 PM
Thanks everyone, I am working up the courage to tell my husband once he gets back from his trip. But reading the Act from GV70's first answer, does that mean my husband is automatically the legal father and the bio-dad has no rights to establish himself as the father? If this is the case then lucky me. I don't plan on giving him the BC as well because I know his reasons for asking can never be for a good one.

I just wish my husband will be assumed the legal father as he would in the US court.

Judy Kay Tee; explain further what you mean by the paternity can still be challenged since she's just 6months now. It sounds like something needs to be done asap. I don't want to make any more mistakes so explain better or anyone who understands . Thank you all for your inputs.

tickle
May 23, 2010, 01:41 PM
GV70 has some good points and I know he sites transcripts, but foxy get a lawyer, pay for good information in Ontario, laws change every day and it isn't the same as US law to the inth degree.

You present husband has TO ADOPT your daughter. No, the your husband is not the legal father, the bio-dad still has rights as you DID NOT HAVE A CLEAR CONTRACT.

Get a lawyer my dear before your husband gets back so you can explain the situation in legal terms, in front of a lawyer. I wish you luck, it can't be easy right now but you have get through it and get it SOLVED.

Tick

JudyKayTee
May 23, 2010, 01:42 PM
I'm just running out the door - but are you POSITIVE this is not your husband's child? If you had reason to believe you and your husband could not get pregnant what did he think when suddenly you WERE pregnant?

I have to research - GV70 knows his stuff, no question there, and I've never known him to be wrong. What he has quoted, however, is not my understanding so, again - off to research!

GV70
May 23, 2010, 03:49 PM
Wow-the American states laws and court practices are inconsistent... There is no such thing as American law.The law varies from state to state.

ScottGem
May 23, 2010, 04:22 PM
You present husband has TO ADOPT your daughter. No, the your husband is not the legal father, the bio-dad still has rights as you DID NOT HAVE A CLEAR CONTRACT.

Get a lawyer my dear before your husband gets back so you can explain the situation in legal terms, in front of a lawyer. I wish you luck, it can't be easy right now but you have get through it and get it SOLVED.

tick

Did you not read what GV posted? The husband is presumed to be the legal father. Therefore he does NOT have to adopt the child. Only if the bio father challenges the presumed paternity and overturns the legal presumption would an adoption come into play.

But the bio father DOES have the right to go to court over this. If he is established as the bio dad and seeks some level of custody, he would, most likely, get it.

GV70
May 23, 2010, 04:28 PM
Only if the bio father challenges the presumed paternity and overturns the legal presumption would an adoption come into play.
Yes,but I am not sure that the BF has legal standing to do it in Ontario.

tickle
May 23, 2010, 06:29 PM
I'm just running out the door - but are you POSITIVE this is not your husband's child? If you had reason to believe you and your husband could not get pregnant what did he think when suddenly you WERE pregnant?

!

Wow, good point JKT, we all missed that one. Off to paternity testing !