Kenya50
May 21, 2010, 08:35 PM
Hello,
Where do I start...
I have been engaged for 3 years to a wonderful man and we've been together for 5 years. For a good portion of those 3 years I feel we've become roommates, and I am beginning to notice that there are so many differences amongst us, that I'm wondering if we are even compatible anymore. There is absolutely nothing bad I could say about him... if anything I have been treated like a total princess. I still have this unsettling feeling inside and have even begun to look at other men in ways that I am beginning to feel guilty. I have been wondering for a solid year whether we would be better suited with other people. Our wedding has been postponed 3 times for various reasons and I'm wondering whether this is a sign.
Sexually we have always been incompatible, since day one but our friendship has kept us so close. This has never bothered me up until the past year. I have never spoken to him about it and actually don't find him sexually attractive and I also think he feels the same way, so I'm not even sure we could fix this. I don't want to make this long and tortuous to read but I'm really stuck on what to do next if anything.
He and I live completely different lives and I feel more like his roommate more than anything. He is 12 years older than me and I'm starting to wonder whether that was a mistake in the beginning. A huge portion of my resistance in wanting to change is that I am very financially dependent on him but I truly believe that I could be financially independent but am afraid to take that plunge.
I'm also not a young chicken anymore... I am 34 years old and would like to start a family in the next 2 years so I feel this doesn't leave enough time to find someone new as there are no guarantees. I'm really lost and any advice would be appreciated.
Where do I start...
I have been engaged for 3 years to a wonderful man and we've been together for 5 years. For a good portion of those 3 years I feel we've become roommates, and I am beginning to notice that there are so many differences amongst us, that I'm wondering if we are even compatible anymore. There is absolutely nothing bad I could say about him... if anything I have been treated like a total princess. I still have this unsettling feeling inside and have even begun to look at other men in ways that I am beginning to feel guilty. I have been wondering for a solid year whether we would be better suited with other people. Our wedding has been postponed 3 times for various reasons and I'm wondering whether this is a sign.
Sexually we have always been incompatible, since day one but our friendship has kept us so close. This has never bothered me up until the past year. I have never spoken to him about it and actually don't find him sexually attractive and I also think he feels the same way, so I'm not even sure we could fix this. I don't want to make this long and tortuous to read but I'm really stuck on what to do next if anything.
He and I live completely different lives and I feel more like his roommate more than anything. He is 12 years older than me and I'm starting to wonder whether that was a mistake in the beginning. A huge portion of my resistance in wanting to change is that I am very financially dependent on him but I truly believe that I could be financially independent but am afraid to take that plunge.
I'm also not a young chicken anymore... I am 34 years old and would like to start a family in the next 2 years so I feel this doesn't leave enough time to find someone new as there are no guarantees. I'm really lost and any advice would be appreciated.