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View Full Version : Cutlery up or down after a good meal?


Alty
Apr 30, 2010, 05:09 PM
I googled this and couldn't find a satisfactory answer.

Last night my husband and I went out for a very nice dinner. After dinner he placed his cutlery down (fork prongs facing the plate and spoon facing down) on the plate.

I asked him if he didn't enjoy the meal. He said it was very good. I then questioned why he had placed his cutlery down, as that signified that he wasn't pleased with the meal. He disagreed.

I have always been told that after a good meal, to show that you are pleased, you should put the cutlery face up, as it signifies that you would love to have more.

So who's right, hubby or me?

cdad
Apr 30, 2010, 05:53 PM
Niether if you didn't cross it when left on the plate :)

(quote)
To signal that your are done with the course, rest your fork, tines up, and knife blade in, with the handles resting at five o'clock an tips pointing to ten o'clock on your plate.


Ref:

Dining Etiquette Guide, Dinner Party Manners, United States Dining Table Manners, Dinner Etiquette, Restaurant Dining Etiquette, Food Etiquette Guide (http://whatscookingamerica.net/Menu/DiningEtiquetteGuide.htm)

Catsmine
Apr 30, 2010, 07:04 PM
It's cultural. In most restaurants below four stars it won't even be noticed.

Four and above speak a European language if you finish tines down.

Alty
Apr 30, 2010, 09:20 PM
Wait, so Calidad says tines up and Cats says tines down?

Do we have a tie breaker?

Catsmine
May 1, 2010, 05:44 AM
Wait, so Calidad says tines up and Cats says tines down?

Do we have a tie breaker?

Playoff: Do you fork with your left hand or right?

Alty
May 1, 2010, 12:57 PM
Playoff: Do you fork with your left hand or right?

WT? ;)

I use my right hand. My parents were horrified. I can't cut with my right hand for some reason, even though I am right handed. I'm a freak. ;)

XOXOlove
May 1, 2010, 02:18 PM
Hmm.. I've heard that you are supposed to place the utensils face down at the rim of the plate with the handle resting on the table. The waiter/waitress then knows that you are finished the meal and takes your plate.

Catsmine
May 2, 2010, 03:48 AM
WT? ;)

I use my right hand. My parents were horrified. I can't cut with my right hand for some reason, even though I am right handed. I'm a freak. ;)

Dad wins. You've become Americanized in your dining habits. No slurs on your place of residence, I can't spell Canadiananananized(see?).

Alty
May 2, 2010, 11:31 AM
Okay, hubby and I talked about it and we're coming up with our own system of etiquette with respect to fine dining.

If you like the meal you place the cutlery on the plate at the 10 and 2 position, fork on it's side, knife with blade part pointing in, napkin folded in the shape of a swan and placed gently at the 12 o'clock position.

If you don't like the meal you stab the waiter with the fork and run like hell. :p

cdad
May 2, 2010, 12:03 PM
Okay, hubby and I talked about it and we're coming up with our own system of etiquette with respect to fine dining.

If you like the meal you place the cutlery on the plate at the 10 and 2 position, fork on it's side, knife with blade part pointing in, napkin folded in the shape of a swan and placed gently at the 12 o'clock position.

If you don't like the meal you stab the waiter with the fork and run like hell. :p

Speaking of not likeing the meal. I have left a penny for a tip before because the service during the meal was horrid. What's a good one for that? Besides stab and go go go..

Alty
May 2, 2010, 12:09 PM
Speaking of not likeing the meal. I have left a penny for a tip before because the service during the meal was horrid. Whats a good one for that? Besides stab and go go go ..

You could always throw the pennies at the waiter. I hear that ticks off prostitutes, so why not crappy waiters? :p

I'm kidding! Put the penny down! :eek:

Personally I think that fancy restaurants where this fork and knife etiquette thing might actually be noticed, should write the standard procedure in the menu. It would come in handy for those of us that dine at McDonalds and don't usually use cutlery. ;)

Catsmine
May 2, 2010, 01:22 PM
Speaking of not likeing the meal. I have left a penny for a tip before because the service during the meal was horrid. Whats a good one for that? Besides stab and go go go ..

Standing up, yelling obscenities and throwing your plate on the floor might clue the server that you're not pleased.

cdad
May 2, 2010, 03:01 PM
Standing up, yelling obscenities and throwing your plate on the floor might clue the server that you're not pleased.

Either that or your getting a handicap discount for turrets.

Catsmine
May 2, 2010, 03:12 PM
Either that or your getting a handicap discount for turrets.

Then there's the superglue for the penny. It works better when they don't have tablecloths.

Alty
May 2, 2010, 03:16 PM
Then there's the superglue for the penny. It works better when they don't have tablecloths.

But then you have to stick around and video tape. :)

Catsmine
May 2, 2010, 03:18 PM
But then you have to stick around and video tape. :)

Tip the bartender for the security footage with what you would have spent on a decent server.

Alty
May 2, 2010, 09:16 PM
Tip the bartender for the security footage with what you would have spent on a decent server.

You've done this before. ;)

KISS
May 2, 2010, 09:41 PM
Did the cleanup crew use a crumber?

Alty
May 2, 2010, 09:44 PM
Did the cleanup crew use a crumber?

I didn't stick around for that, but the waiter came around with fresh pepper and the napkins were real. :)

KISS
May 2, 2010, 09:47 PM
Check the references for instructions: Crumber - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crumber)

It would have been used during the meal, between courses. I've only been to ONE restaurant that used one.

KBC
May 3, 2010, 02:11 AM
Well in Deutschland my sister had to put her ware on top of the plate to signify that she was finished,otherwise the family would keep pouring on the grub..

Alty
May 3, 2010, 08:24 AM
Well in Deutschland my sister had to put her ware on top of the plate to signify that she was finished,otherwise the family would keep pouring on the grub..

Yup, it was that way at our house too.

Sehr gut Ken. Sehr gut. :)

JoeCanada76
May 3, 2010, 08:46 AM
For me you burp really really loud to show your appreciation of a great meal. The louder the burp the better the meal.

Just teasing, well not in canada anyway.

At home yes, lol..

Okay I am a freakn pig.

Honestly Andrea, I have been to a few really expensive and fancy places and I never heard of either of them before. The thing that signifies a well enjoyed meal is nothing left on the plate and yes the silverware left on top of the plate to signify that your finished.

dontknownuthin
May 6, 2010, 03:01 PM
I think you're both wrong - I've looked for something on this and can't find any reference to face up/face down flatware.

What I did consistently find was:
- Place your used flatware on your plate when you are done. Whether it's on the right or left does not appear to matter at all. As Americans and Europeans use forks and knives differently (American's switch hands to cut, Europeans typically do not), it's probably a matter of locality.
- Never put your napkin on your plate, whether paper or cloth.
- Do not move your plate (to the edge or center of the table for example) to signal you are done.
- If you are serving whether in your home or as a job, never scrape contents of one plate to another plate at the table and never stack the plates as you remove them. Take them off individually and remove them to the kitchen that way.

As a practical matter, the way flatware is designed, it's less likely to slide of the cleared plate and make a mess and a lot of noise if it's face up (as you would stack it in a drawer) so I would put it on the plate in that way, enjoyable meal or not.
And it shouldn't matter whether you are at a fine dining restaurant or Burger King - etiquette is meant to be used all the time - it's about courtesy - making things pleasant for one another, not about being fancy.

cmorcat
Nov 16, 2012, 08:50 AM
What if it's good silverware and you you need one more knife and fork to complete your 12 place setting at home?

Alty
Nov 16, 2012, 12:25 PM
What if it's good silverware and you you need one more knife and fork to complete your 12 place setting at home?

LMAO! I like this idea. Sadly the silverware, if I remember correctly, wasn't that great. I also hate actual silverware, what a pain in the behind to clean. I prefer plastic. One use, no cleanup. :)

dontknownuthin
Dec 2, 2012, 08:09 AM
I was taught that you place the knife on the plate, blade facing in, and the fork tines pointing up. You don't "vote" on the quality of the meal with how you place your cutlery - that's kind of ridiculous. If you're in a restaurant and displeased with the meal, you let your server know with words when there's still an opportunity for them to make it right. If you like the meal, you let your server, matitre D or the restaurant owner/manager know that you enjoyed it and tip 20%. If you're someone's guest, you pretend the meal was fabulous even if it was so aweful you're stopping at Burger King on the way home.

The main reason for placing the cutlery this way is that if you place a fork tines down or a spoon bowl down or a knife blade out, you are creating a hazzard. If the knife slips it is less likely to hurt the person carrying the plate if the blade is facing away from their hand. A spoon or fork are far more likely to slide off the plate if they are upside down - they are designed to lay nicely on a table tines or bowl up, and will do the same on the plate. If you put them upside down they will be unstable and slide around or off the plate.