raquinn
Apr 29, 2010, 09:38 AM
So, I met this really amazing guy. And I was lucky enough to find out he liked me just as much as I liked him...
But going back on a little of my history, most every relationship (be it friend or boyfriend) I have been asked to conform to a certain ideal for that relationship and I always comply, because when I see a relationship that I like (or think I like) I want to do everything in my power to keep that relationship alive. Only in the end do I realize that they asked me to change and resenting myself for changing for them and destroying a part of me to fit their wants and needs, I leave the relationship.
With this relationship, I screwed up big time, I saw this guy, I liked him so much that I felt yet again that I needed to change myself to keep him. He never asked me to do this, but I felt like it was necessary or I would lose him. This is the only time I have changed to what I thought he would want me to be and I saw the relationship die. And its killing me right now that I allowed this to happen.
I talked to him about it, and I talked to him about how I know that I was the reason why our relationship slipped away from us. And that I wanted to try to get back the relationship we had with each other.
He is a straight forward person, and he told me bluntly that he felt awkward about me trying to revive the relationship and to just let it go, but if it comes back naturally he's all for it.
So, my question is, I know I screwed up, I know I let this die, but I want it back. What's the best way to go about getting this back naturally? I don't want to scare him off, or make him feel like I'm trying too hard. But I want to feel like I have a good solid effort at trying to get this relationship back. And I am a loyal person, that's why I don't want to see my relationship fade with him more than it already has. But that doesn't mean I will hold onto something if the other person thinks that its just plain and simple over.
But going back on a little of my history, most every relationship (be it friend or boyfriend) I have been asked to conform to a certain ideal for that relationship and I always comply, because when I see a relationship that I like (or think I like) I want to do everything in my power to keep that relationship alive. Only in the end do I realize that they asked me to change and resenting myself for changing for them and destroying a part of me to fit their wants and needs, I leave the relationship.
With this relationship, I screwed up big time, I saw this guy, I liked him so much that I felt yet again that I needed to change myself to keep him. He never asked me to do this, but I felt like it was necessary or I would lose him. This is the only time I have changed to what I thought he would want me to be and I saw the relationship die. And its killing me right now that I allowed this to happen.
I talked to him about it, and I talked to him about how I know that I was the reason why our relationship slipped away from us. And that I wanted to try to get back the relationship we had with each other.
He is a straight forward person, and he told me bluntly that he felt awkward about me trying to revive the relationship and to just let it go, but if it comes back naturally he's all for it.
So, my question is, I know I screwed up, I know I let this die, but I want it back. What's the best way to go about getting this back naturally? I don't want to scare him off, or make him feel like I'm trying too hard. But I want to feel like I have a good solid effort at trying to get this relationship back. And I am a loyal person, that's why I don't want to see my relationship fade with him more than it already has. But that doesn't mean I will hold onto something if the other person thinks that its just plain and simple over.