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View Full Version : Mature way to confront immaturity.


Ashley Doll
Apr 28, 2010, 01:14 PM
Im a junior in college and am constantly having trouble with another female.

Last semester I played a game of Powderpuff Football for the university. It ended up getting a bit more rough than usual. Girls were tackling, hair pulling... the usual cat fight. I had tackled a girl from behind not harshly but she took it very offensively. I apologized right after it happened but she continued with the attitude. I left it on the field, She obviously did not.
A month later at a party I showed up with a friend who lived in the apt. Our living facilities are not co-ed but she constantly stayed many nights with here boyfriend who also resided at the apt. I was fairly close to the people that lived in that residence. When I walked in she clearly saw me, we made eye contact and I smiled at her and she glanced back with a rude stare. I brushed it off, I was out to have a good time. She didn't decide to come after me till I was close to walking out the door. Keep in mind this girl is 5'10 150 lbs, and I'm only 4'11 122lb. She then got in my face, and started pushing me around. Yelling at me calling me names such as "fat B****" and saying I need to get my butt out of "Her" apartment. I am not the type to start a fight or involve myself with namecalling but I responded with a bit of attitude Saying she did not live here and stood up for her name calling. I then asked her in front of everyone what her problem was in a calm stern voice. She had "heard" I called her a "Fat B****" I then asked her who she heard it from and she continued to go on calling me names, and not answering my questions. When I didn't leave she then put me in a chokehold, one of the males that lived at the apartment pushed her off me and she fell to the floor. I left and kind of laughed it off. I never said anything about her, I did not even know her. I usually handle these situations maturely and ask questions before I get offensive.
The next weekend at another party I threw for my friends birthday she showed up, I had no problem with it. Again I was out to have a good time. She then confronted some of my closer male friends saying she was going to hit me and beat the hell out of me. I just shrugged it off and they made her leave. We all figure we are in college, Grown adults we should be able to handle a situation without a fight or drama.
Another time we had a get together she walked in, I was sitting on a couch and my boyfriend was playing cards with the guys in the kitchen she then sat on his lap asking him "where's your girlfriend? she not want to get her kicked tonight." He then pushed her off and replied "she is sitting on the couch."

I have come to a realization she only wants to start a fight in public situations or outings. When I pass her in the apt hallway she never says a word or even glances at me. I live across the hall from her boyfriend. We have even been in the same public bathroom and she says nothing. I of course am a lot smaller than her and know better to lower myself to backtalk her or fight back, a lot of scholarships are on the line, not to mention my position as a leader of the university.

Anyone have any helpful ways to rid of the situation?

JudyKayTee
Apr 28, 2010, 02:50 PM
I would simply leave wherever I was when she got there - isn't the school year almost over? If that's not an option or you don't want to do it, what about speaking to a school counsellor or dorm advisor?

She put you in a choke hold and you laughed it off? A call to the Police often settles the problem.

I wish
Apr 29, 2010, 06:37 AM
Sounds like you've been handling the situation very well.

I would say, continue to ignore her, the less attention you give her, the more stupid she looks.

Stick to taking the high road and those around you will see how unreasonable she is and how mature you are.

Strength89
May 4, 2010, 04:49 PM
It's pretty obvious that she has self esteem issues.

For one, you're smaller than her and was able to tackle her on the field. Maybe she now feels like she has to prove herself in front of others.

Just ignore her but if she ever puts her hands on you again, get authorities involved to show her that you're tired of her immaturity. Authorities do oftentimes take care of everything.

It's also a bit sad that she shows up at YOUR parties and talk badly about you to people that obviously cares about you. That's her problem, not yours--so continue to leave it alone.