I was seeing this girl for about 3 months and things were going amazingly. She said she was crazy about me and I was too. She'd come over, we'd watch movies together, cuddle, kiss, all that jazz. Then there was a week where she got extremely distant from me. We didn't hang out for a week and a half and I knew something was wrong. We planned to hang out last weekend when I got a text from her saying "I'm sorry but I really haven't been feeling it lately" I asked her what was wrong and she said that her feelings for have have gone down dramatically. I don't know how this could have happened so suddenly...

I asked her if there was another guy and she said no. I asked her if she was lying and she said "No, you know I would/never have lied to you" and she really hasn't. I believe her. I thought about it and realized that I was a little pushy about asking her to be my girlfriend. She said she wasn't ready and I kept trying to convince her that it now was a good time. I feel like I gave her too much of me at once, and that might have scared her off. She said that she is extremely overwhelmed with school too so that might also be a factor.

After talking w/her about this she said she doesn't know what she wants and that she was so sorry she was doing this to me. Yesterday was the first time we saw each other after this whole thing and it was extremely awkward. I tried making conversation w/her but it didn't last long. After school we started texting each other again and were having good conversation, but it took her 2 hours to respond to my first text. Very unlike her. Prom is coming up and I asked her if she was ever planning on going and she said no. Not even when things were going well b/t us because that just wasn't her thing. I was kindof relieved to hear that because I really wanted to go w/her before all of this happened and I didn't want her to go alone or w/anyone else. We talked more about the situation and I asked her if she just needed some space and she said that would be nice.

I told her that I would still talk to her when I saw her in passing at school if she wanted, and she said that's OK. But I also told her that if she wanted to text me she had to text me first because she can't think if I'm always texting her when she doesn't want me to. And she promised me that she would tell me when she figures things out. Just seeing her in school makes me desperately want things to be the way they were again, but I don't know anymore. She said that we're more like friends again, but time will tell. We haven't really talked since then. Its been a day since we talked and this is the longest we've gone w/out contact.

This is incredibly hard for me. It sucks when you love someone and they don't share the same feelings for you anymore all of a sudden. She said she thinks it might just be a phase, but she really doesn't know. Everything reminds me of her. I can still smell her on my couch and I can't look/think of anything without thinking about her. I want to get her off my mind but I just can't. It's better when I occupy myself, but it comes back as soon as I get home. I'm 18yrs old, I'm young, but this is really hard to deal with. Any advice is appreciated.

Its hard man but you have to respect her wishes at this point.

You seem to have handled it fairly well on your end of things, and you left the ball in her court with saying she can text you when she's ready. So the only advice to give is go out and live your life. I don't mean this in a negative way but 3 months isn't to long, so go back to what you used to do before she came into the picture.

You absolutely have to just leave her alone. NO calling, no texting, no driving by her house, no asking her friends questions. LEAVE HER ALONE. It's for your own good. It is hard, but you will get through it with time. Time will heal everything. But you can't cheat yourself. You will only make it harder for you if you do cheat yourself. You are so young. You have a whole life ahead of you. Don't sweat it. Do things that make you happy. Listen to me I promise you it's hard but you have so much ahead of you, so just relax and go with the flow.


You cannot change how she feels. No matter what you say or what you do, she will do what she wants and you can't change that. You have to accept that. Stop dwelling on the small things. If you really take a step back away from yourself, you can see this from a different perspective. Silly huh? Let it go... and don't let this girl run over you like this.

It hasn't been long and the disappointment is still fresh, but it will fade as you turn your attention else where.

Spray some Febreze on that couch. Then you won't smell her perfume on it.

The pain will fade-with time.

Keep busy and do the things you enjoy doing.

Find a new hobby,make new friends.

I just don't understand. How can u go from being "crazy" about someone to not having feelings for them in such a short amount of time? I don't get it. I can't help but feel like I really messed up w/this girl. I still can't get over this...

You will when you accept the concept of people don't always tell the truth, or they exaggerate the truth, or their feeling just change. May not even have anything to do with you.

Just because you had no clue her feelings changed doesn't mean they won't, and it happens all the time. It just happened to you this time.

Just look at it this way-You have no choice. So do for you and don't worry about anyone else. It is hard but you can do it. Of course you still have feelings for her, but you have to accept that it's over. It's the only way you will get over it, and believe me you WILL get over it. With time, patience, determination to do whatever you need to do to make you happy.

Ahhhhh she just texted me saying "just thought you'd like to know me and a friend went to a redbox last night and I had seen all of the movies with you lol" I gave her a response and she asked if I hated her yet... I said no. That's basically how the conversation went before she gave me weird "lol nice" and "oh hmmm" responses and that's when I stopped texting her. She hasn't texted me since. I'm giving her the space she wants but this is really hard. I desperately want us back together again, but I would like to know how things are going w/her and if she's really thinking about me. But I'm resisting the urge to contact her first.

Sometimes a person can be all hot and bothered an tingly when they begin a relationship with someone and after a while that feeling goes away, the novelty wears off and you get the feeling this is not where you want to be.
That is kind of the way infatuation and lust works.
Or you get a new toy and you play with it non stop, then one day you don't pick it up, it's not that exciting anymore.

Unfortunately when you are on the other end of that or if you are the toy you feel abandoned.
With time and focus on other things, that feeling of abandonment goes away.
It sucks now, but it will get better. This too shall pass.

Threads merged
I previously asked a question regarding this situation, but now this girl is contacting me when she said she needed space. So to sum up my previous yet still current predicament, I was seeing this girl for about 3 months. Things were going amazingly, but long story short I gave her too much of me at once and expressed apparently too soon that I wanted her to be my girlfriend, and she said she wasn't feeling it anymore. I tried talking to her about it and she says she has no idea why her feelings for me have changed, but she thinks its because she's overwhelmed and it might just be a phase. We agreed that some space/time would be the best thing right now for her to figure out what she wants.

We went 2 days w/out contact before she texted me saying "just thought you'd like to know me and (a friend) went to a redbox last night and I had seen all of the movies w/u lol" I gave her short and to the point responses and the conversation ended rather quickly. Then today she texted me about how this one song came on that was from our favorite movie and she just thought I should know that... I don't get it. Is she texting me these things because she misses me or is she playing games with me?

I responded to her texts (again short and to the point). She said something like "oh hmmm" and a few other short texts like that afterwards so I figured the conversation was over and I stopped responding. Then she said don't ever tell me to text you ever again if you think I don't want to talk... I never told her she had to text me, but I did say that if she wanted to talk she had to text me first because she can't think if I'm always texting her when she doesn't want me to... makes sense right?

Well she kept texting me, making friendly conversation, asking me if I missed her yet, and how I've been. I said I do miss her but I've been OK. She said she had work to do so I said I'd go. When I got home and onto Facebook she started messaging me. Then she logged off and an hour later texted me saying goodnight.

I don't get it. She said she wanted space, but she's texting me? My sister has told me to ignore every text I get from her, but I feel like that will just make her angry and make her look elsewhere for a relationship. Idk what to do. Should I respond to her texts? Should I tell her I miss her when she asks? I don't know if she's slowly starting to like me again or if she's just seeing if I'm going to wait around for her... What do I do?


Oh and by the way Im actually still extremely interested in having a relationship w/this girl. I miss her a lot. Didn't make that clear in my question lol

You've only been taking time for a few days. I don't know what she is doing per-say but I do know this much. You give her about a week or two to make up her mind, and then if she is still not ready for you, you need to move on. You can't put your life on hold for something that is too indecisive for you.

How long have you been seeing one another?

Hey man I don't know you but I was in the same situation as you. I was leaving with this girl for about a year, then things went wrong and she ask if we can take things slow and see what happens, after all that she keeps texting me and all the BS, being stupid as I was, I gave in and at the end I end up always being in pain. I really like what tal had on his column, If they ask for break give it to them and leave them forever.Something like that
Look I know you want and hope and wish things were the way it was, I to wanted that. But you don't want to be with a person that doesn't know what they want, I mean if you two ever to get back together how long would it take her till she does the same all BS again with you, then what you will end up being hurt even more. Let this one go bro just be happy its only been 3 months, take this as a blessing and that she didn't kept you around. ITs been hard for me to move on and accept that I no longer want anything to do with her, I'm sad but deep inside I am happy, take it one day at a time.
Don't waist your time with someone that doesn't know if they want to be with you, don't waist your tears with someone that doesn't fight for you. Don't love someone so soon. And never make that person the only reason of you happiness.

I'm a girl. Unfortunately, years ago I did the same thing she's doing. She's playing games with you, wants to make sure you haven't forgotten her, but she has no intention of cranking up the romance again. I agree with your sister. Ignore the texts, phone calls, etc. and move on without her.

I'm a girl too - and hey, I reckon she's testing your resolve because she knows you like her.

She mightn't be doing it totally on purpose, but her asking if you were missing her suggests she's looking for a reaction.

I agree with WonderGirl, listen to your sister. She sounds like a wise woman.

Ignore her-she's stringing you along.

Delete her texts without reading them or block her number.

There is no need to start a different question about the same thing

Oh and by the way I'm actually still extremely interested in having a relationship w/this girl. I miss her a lot. Didn't make that clear in my question lol

That is exactly why she keeps texting you and you allow her too. Your too afraid to ignore her or make her mad so you continue to play this game.

Your sister is right, as until she knows you won't play games by your actions, she has no reason to stop doing what she is doing, NONE!!

In my day we called her a tease, and its to get attention, and provoke a reaction so she can exert control over the situation. Sad really, but its your choice to play or not, or have your feelings used against you.

I also think that you thinking her play for attention is her realizing what she missed, or thinking of changing her mind is false hope, as her actions clearly suggest that's not her intentions. Torturing you is.

I think by ignoring her BS, you get down to the real business at hand, and do away with the BS chit chat, presume, and assume, NONSENSE!

I really don't think I'll be able to just cut her out of my life just like that... I need an answer from her. Next time she texts me and I don't respond, she will get a little angry. From there I was thinking of just being blunt w/her and saying "You said you wanted ur space. I backed off and now you want to text me every day? I still like you, but I think you need to figure out if you want me in your life." She's getting the best of both worlds right now. She still gets to keep me close but not THAT close... and that's just not fair to me.

What is fair to you is that you ignore her and get your life back.

Why on earth would you want to be close to someone who keeps you hanging around waiting for the odd crumb or two?

Give her total space and move on.

She is playing what we used to call 'head games' with you. Where she implies something that is left to the imagination of the receiver as to its meaning.

I think that is a total waste of brain power.

She wants you and she doesn't want you, and she's playing the game so much better than you are. You are still hanging on, and she is still making implications as to some sort of relationship with you.

It is entirely up to you.

Play the game, maybe you will win the odd one. Don't play the game, find somebody who doesn't play games, and enjoy a new relationship without all the undue drama.

I really don't think I'll be able to just cut her out of my life just like that... I need an answer from her. Next time she texts me and I don't respond, she will get a little angry. From there I was thinking of just being blunt w/her and saying "You said you wanted ur space. I backed off and now you want to text me every day? I still like you, but I think you need to figure out if you want me in your life." She's getting the best of both worlds right now. She still gets to keep me close but not THAT close... and that's just not fair to me.

I dare you to reply to her next text, or call, with such blunt honesty!! :eek:

dude people here are already giving you a very good advice. I know how you feel, the feeling when your heart jumps when you receive a text from her, a feeling of happiness and hope thinking to yourself that, if she is not interested then why is she texting. Nothing ever do make sense when you are in the emotional side of the relationship, the more you allow her to make you feel the way you are feeling, the more power she gets. When I was in your situation, people here gave me one of the best advice and it goes something like this. FOR YOU BEING THERE FOR HER, YOUR ACTUALLY MAKING HER GET OVER YOU FASTER. that means you answering to her text your actually making her move even faster. She will text you when she feels lonely, alone, but once something like her friends or guys or even an activity she is doing replaces the feeling of loneliness then she doesn't text you. Dude find your B*^% and use it, your letting this girl run your emotion and you two had only been together for 3 months.

3 months is not even enough time to get to know a person, but she had already made up her mind that YOUR NOT FOR HER. Cause if you were for her, then why aren't you by her side?

let this one go I know its hard but its going to save you a lot of heart ache for the future.
1. she will only txt you when she has nothing to do, or feel lonely
2. she wants to keep you hanging until she sees that the grass is greener on the other side.
3. she wants to know that you are always available, and when you do try to ignore her, she gets mad and let you know that she is the boss.

And you're really miserable when she is out having a good time without you. Worse, If she gets a whiff of you having a good time, then she will really be mad at you. This will lead to more confusion on your part. But that's the idea, because she isn't ready for YOU to move on without her. But she wants no more romance from you though, so how whack is that?

Things are still a little weird between us. We barely talk anymore and there's an unspoken awkwardness now... I'm giving her the "space" that she wanted and I'm just seeing how things play out. I'm still completely lost and the past couple weeks have been incredibly rough. I'm always anxious and when I see her in class I just feel depressed knowing that things aren't the way they used to be. She still texts me but not nearly as often.

I think you need to realise that this is over and start moving on.

So ignore her texts and start living your own life again.