I’m a stripper and I've spent the last couple of years working away dancing as a stripper in the big strip clubs around the world, amazing job as I’ve got to travel and meet amazing people doing this.

I’m 24 and been dancing since I was 19, I done all my college in business but changed my mind and didn’t want a boring 9 to 5 job and wanted to do something different,
I’ve always liked a bit of attention and like my body so decided to be a stripper as I heard the money was amazing.
Just so you know, not all stripper do this because they have has bad background, I’ve had a good upbringing, never anything bad.

I do drink sometimes in week but mainly at weekends, never do drugs, would never have sex for money, I like to go out and let my hair down some times but I would say most girls my age do.
I am I nice girl not all strippers are bad and I would never cheat in a relationship, I sometimes can be too soft if I like them.

Ok about my new man, I’ve been seeing him for only a month and I did NOT meet him in a strip club, I would never meet up with customers. We amazing together hit it off soon as we met, we just clicked. I feel safe around him and feel I can be myself, it’s strange to feel like this as it’s so soon,

My visa ran out, and I can only come back to see him for 3 months,
I know I have to stop one day can't strip forever and do something else but before I do that I need to study again,
So I’m looking into beauty and studying it where my new man lives,
I don’t know what to do as he said if I become his girlfriend I need to stop stripping,
He told me to save my money up now so in 3 months when I back over I won’t have to strip when I’m studying then get a real job in a bar if I need money.
I will need so work as a stripper as I’m studying as I will need money.
He also says my mind set for me seeing that its right to be a stripper needs to change
I really like my job as a stripper never been so happy, yes I do like him more but wish he would let me just stay stripping till I was ready to stop
I think if he liked as much as he said he does he could just put up with it till I finished studying but he says he doesn’t think he can
He is religious he a Christian that’s part of why he says he does what me doing it, also he only wants to see my body,
So wish he could just see it’s a job and be happy for me that I’m happy and that I make good money, and forget the job and see I could be the be the best girlfriend he ever had
I know a lot of people think bad about strippers but some of us are really not bad at all
please tell me what you think


he a Christian thats part of why he says he does not like me doing it

Regardless of what your job is,as long as you are happy doing it,and it works for you,that is your choice.

I would be very wary getting further involved with anyone who thinks they have a right to lay down the law regarding my occupation and lifestyle,whatever their background.

Its only been a month and he is telling you how to live your life?

I wouldn't take this any further.

I think it's a bad idea to plan your study around a guy you've been seeing for such a short time, especially one who doesn't approve of your current profession.

Sorry... there's a lot of GGB's out there... he's a Good Guy But... fill in the blank.

More than a few ladies too...

So... I think its great you get along and feel comfortable in other areas... but you can't just be yourself... and you cannot force him to change his thinking, no more than he should force you to change yours...

Yes... most relationships take some compromise... and maybe there is no compromise for him on this one. Its fine. I can't find fault with how he feels any more than I can find fault with how you feel.

So... the question really can't be how to make him see your way... you have no control over that. You do have control over what you do... so... lets pretend he continues to apply pressure... he's clearly made his point and is unlikely to change it.

Why should you plan your life and education around someone you've known for such a short time and who has a major conflict with how you choose to support yourself in a time of need?

Its possible to love a person you can't be with. I've been in that place. Bad timing. Crossed wires.

I think if you do all the "bending" here to change your world for him... it's a dangerous trend... fine to stop if you want to stop... but maybe not so much if you feel pressured.

I really like what kp said
I think if you do all the "bending" here to change your world for him... it's a dangerous trend... fine to stop if you want to stop... but maybe not so much if you feel pressured.

Like what amicon and KP said. Its to early, don't let one person decide on what you should do with you life and future, its already been a month already and his controlling you like you're his wife. A good saying my brother tells his girlfriend " I came in this relationship being as i am, i did not decide to be with you so you can change me, I do what i do before i met you and i am not changing for you, you can accept it or leave."
Don't put your life around someone else its really bad and you will end up being the one really hurting at the end, I don't want to see you posting how can I get over him thread. Do what you do and if he can't accept that then his not for you,

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Yeah, way to early to commit to this guy. I do have to admit, I would have a hard time letting other men look at my girl stripping. She was a stripper at one point and I do not look bad upon her for this. She has a rockin body and she found a use for it. She made a lot of money as a stripper and actually lived pretty well at that point.

However again I am a jealous person in that I would not want my girlfriend to be a stripper again unless it was souly for me. However, if she were a stripper when I met her I would never tell her to stop until she was ready. So long as I trusted her to always make the right choices she could do whatever she wanted. Would I let her become a stripper again? Well I wouldn't not let her, but I would probably not make it easy on her. (I am too selfish to share her body even visually). But then again I would not have to worry about that as she is too old and her body is not what it used to be. She could still make some great money doing it I'm sure but she is far too self conscience for that now.

I guess I would just say, it is too early to plan your life around this guy and I would not let him be a stick in the mud for your job. It is not his right to do this. And I would give different advice if you were just deciding to become a stripper. Fact of the matter is that he met you when you were a stripper and he has no right to tell you to quit your job no matter what it is.

Thank you with you answers,

Just so hard when you really like someone you want to make them happy but don't want to make yourself unhappy by doing so,

I would be so happy with him but know I would be struggling to make make money and study at the some time it would get me down, as I'm so used to have money

I wanted to see if I was just being selfish by not wanting to stop till I was ready after my studying, but you all said I shouldn't stop because he asked me, I need to do it when I'm ready,

I think I made it sound like I'm studying just for him, that's wrong sorry I want to study in where he lives, yes he there but also have I friends there too

You have only known this guy a short time. You've been stripping for longer and you obviously enjoy it.
You cannot change the way he feels about your stripping but you can walk away from him if he is wanting you to be something you're not.
We're not talking about a long relationship here. You guys are on two different pages. Nothing wrong with either page but you're not compatible.
You either want him so badly that you will give up stripping or you decide your happiness and livelihood takes precedent over him. Nothing wrong with that. He will either accept what you do and deal with it, or he will walk away. Nothing wrong with that either.
It's one of those hard choices you sometimes have to make.

Added to homegirls response. Self Sacrifice is not love. Its torture to yourself.
(I know homegirl, I need to take my own advice on that one)

Hurting you to please him is not healthy for you or a relationship. Just do what you love and don't give it up until you are ready to do so.

I know where he's coming from. If you plan to settledown and get marry and have kids eventually you got to stop stripping. Honestly, How many people out there accept their SO working as a stripper for a living. How are you going to tell someone that my SO work as a stripper for a living?

I would imagine she will stop doing it, but there is no reason she should stop for a man she has been dating for a month and wants to tell her what to do.

I agree, she will have to stop eventually. My girlfriend had no problem telling her parents and family that she was a stripper and as for the children why would anyone tell them that. Your children do not have to know every single thing about your life prior to them. I mean I will never tell my children that I tried drugs once.
But she can't do it forever. Eventually she will be unable to work that profession. And making her way through college by being a stripper is not at all a bad thing. It happens a lot.

It sounds like perhaps they are not a good match and while they can date, if he does not accept her work, she will merely have to move on.

Next you do need to invest your money, if you have been working for many years, you should have a year or two income saved by now, even investment properties. I have know many strippers though the years, many ended up owning clubs or other business, many invested in real estate and owned a lot of rental property.

At least you would ( I hope so) have a tax exempt retirement plan that you have been funding fully each year.

I will stop eventually soon as my studying stops. I had know problem telling my parents and family I'm a stripper and as for when I have children I wouldn't tell them or even want them to know.

Even though I've only seen him for a month, I've already fallen for him crazy I know, he such an amazing person, I don't want to lose him just over a job but it looks that way,

One reason why I don't want to stop just yet, is that I was not planning to stop just so soon, that I have not saved that much money, so really want to get more money behind me,

I can't come back to see him for 3 months time as my visa but then ill be there for my studying

He keeps saying he won't put up with my job even if its only once a week, but I told him I can't stop yet I need the money,

I told him we should stop this if he can't get over it, but he won't let me go, I know he really likes me as much as I like him that's why we both battling with what to do

Only time will tell

Thanks everyone again

He can't get over it, but won't let go, huh?

Then he must think he can change you and that's too much conflict.

You found him, you will find better. If you keep looking, and living. Its your life, not his.

I mean he says you can work in a bar if you need money, is he kidding you?

A month and he's telling you what you can and can't do?

Nobody should e v e r TELL you how to live your life-this guy has got controlfreak stamped on his forehead I think.

Oh yeah totally. Next thing you know he will tell you what you can or can't wear, eat, do. People you can see. The whole nine yards. I would put a stop to this before it gets serious

I honestly can't see how someone would even attempt to dictate to a new partner what they can or can't do.

This early in the Relationship he should appreciate you for who you are and what you do , if he can't I suggest you tell him to find someone else , you've explained your position and it sounds very feasible to me , if he can't accept that I'm afraid that's his problem.

I know you say you really like this guy but seriously you don't really know him after only a month , and if he's dictating terms this early on god forbid what the future could hold.

i told him we should stop this if he can't get over it, but he wont let me go,

This statement bothers me. He does not like what you're doing and wants you to stop. He can't get over what you're doing but he can't let you go.
This sounds hinky to me. This is a control issue.
You need to leave this guy alone. You give into this, he will be dictating to you all of the time.
You've only known this guy for a month. You two are not compatible. You be you and let him be him, with somebody else.

I agree with the others, if after only seeing him for a month he is already trying to control your life, what do you think will happen a year or two from now?

Plus, after only a month, isn't it a little early on to consider moving to another country permanently to be with this guy?

He's no good for you... Move closer to me so I can date you! There are a lot of job opportunities and great schools around here! :D J/K

Thank you for all your help, I thought everyone would be on his side saying I should stop, its nice to know not everyone thinks bad about my job and more people are more open minded now and just see it is a job

Thanks

thank you for all your help, i thought everyone would be on his side saying i should stop, its nice to know not everyone thinks bad about my job and more people are more open minded now and just see it is a job

thanks

Glad we could help. Keep us posted as I for one would like to know how it all works out.

Having read the posts I really think that this is a deeper problem, I believe that he has control issues among others. Breaking away now in my opinion would be a wise move. Controlling people have a very narcissistic way about themselves and expect others to fall in line with their way of thinking... that's not a good relationship.

Stringer

i have children i wouldnt tell them or even want them to know.


Whether the job is good or bad, I think you answer your own question here.

Whether the job is a good one or bad one, she likes it for the time being and a guy a month into her life has no right to tell her where she can work. He is saying to her "do it my way because I can't let you go" what kind of mess is that?
He is a control freak and he only has a toe in the door, what would he be like if she gave in to this.
She needs to lose this guy.

Whether the job is good or bad, I think you answer your own question here.

The OP's question is about the guy , I'm sure she's not here for us to judge her on her choice of job.

So I think it's a good idea for us to stick to her question , from her last post it seems she's had some good insight from us and is starting to figure out her problem.

its nice to know not everyone thinks bad about my job and more people are more open minded now and just see it is a job

thanks

Sorry but I am just commenting on what she wrote. No one here judge whether the job is good or bad. I think she answered her own question.

Sorry but I am just commenting on what she wrote. No one here judge whether the job is good or bad. I think she answered her own question.

Is there a message in my post to suggest anything otherwise? Did you read something that I can't?

It's all good Hung :)

Just trying to stay on the topic of the guy.

thank you for all your help, i thought everyone would be on his side saying i should stop, its nice to know not everyone thinks bad about my job and more people are more open minded now and just see it is a job

thanks

I am confused here. I don't know if her question is about the guy or if she want to know whether being a stripper is acceptable in today's society.

If the question is about the guy then you guys have already answer it.

I am confused here. I don't know if her question is about the guy or if she want to know whether being a stripper is acceptable in today's society.



Actually if you go back and read from the start of the thread again it has been touched , and opinions given on the subject. She responded by stating she was happy that we didn't take his side , or that we all didn't think that her job was so bad . That's how I read it anyway.




If the question is about the guy then you guys have already answer it.

Yep I think she's had some great responses.

You sound to me like a really decent, hard working woman who has goals and dreams.

You don't have to compromise yourself, for anybody- not your values, your morals, sense of self, confidence, etc. He (or anybody) has no right to judge you because you strip.

It wouldn't be a problem if you worked at McDonalds. But, he is who he is, and sees this as something less than acceptable, for whatever reasons.

What he doesn't see is you. As a person. Not as a stripper. His idea of who you should be only satisfies his need to feel comfortable with a more 'respectable' girlfriend who isn't a stripper.

His problem, and his loss.

Keep on doing exactly what you want to do to reach your goals, and don't let anybody stop you, or cause you to question yourself and your own worth.

Soon enough babies will come along and the bod goes to he** in a handcart, but for now, make the most of it!

thank you for all your help, i thought everyone would be on his side saying i should stop, its nice to know not everyone thinks bad about my job and more people are more open minded now and just see it is a job

thanks

I have all kinds of problems with stripping. So that's not the reason I side with you.

He should not be telling you what to do. It's your choice, your life. This man will make you unhappy. You need to find someone who accepts you and is comfortable with who you are and he needs to find someone with his values. It's simple. He's unsuitable.

Everyone has already given you great advice, so I won't go over old ground.

One thing that did strike me in your post when you described your BF though is that it seems he's so much more concerned with himself than with you.

Why would he be so adamant about you changing your job otherwise?

You are very lucky to have strong values and to enjoy what you do. It's a gift. Don't let someone take the shine off that.

The relationship is too young only 1 month old.

Tell him you'll stop stripping if you're still together as a couple after 12 months.

Bingo.