I broke up with my ex girlfriend October 17, '06, and I want her back!

We had been together off and on for over 6 years. Having met in college and living in the same town our relationship was GREAT for the most part. Since we graduated 2 years ago our relationship had been long distance. (100 miles) eversince, our relationship has dissolved. Loyalty has always been an issue for me as well. Not sure why! Maybe the distance? Not having her close to me? Or maybe a physical attraction? (her wieght always seemed to flucuate and as a result so did my physical attration to her) or maybe I was young, dumb, and full of... and needed to get playing around w/ other women out of my system?

I have broken up with her before for fullish reasons but we always seemed to get back together. Now that we're both 24 I feel like I'm getting to the point where I want to begin to settle down with my life and focus on my future (job, relationship, marrage) I have a tendency to over analize things and the thought of marrige scared me until now. Recently I brought up the topic of marrige to B (my ex) over the phone. She told me she always saw herself moving to my town and us getting married. I freeked out and told her I didn't feel the same and we broke up. I feel that I said what I said and did what I did cause I didn't give it the thought I should have prior to making the decision. Looking back, I was totally foolish to tell her what I did, and it is not what I truly felt.

After our break up she went to europe for 3 weeks. While she was there I did something HORIBBLE! I was in her city with some friends drinking and partieing. While at a bar 2-blocks from her apartment I at 1AM thought it would be a great idea to pay her place a little visit. So I went to her place and the front door was open. No one was home so I walked into her place and went to her room. I looked through her droor and found her journal. Read the last two entries since our breakup and wrote on the last page, "i love you with all my heart." this was a clear invasion of her privecy and at the time and state of mind I thought it was a GREAT idea... but after sobering up realized it was a HUGE mistake!!

When she got back I texted her what I did and her response was " you".

The truth is, there are some things I don't like about her. Like how careless she is about her wieght. The way she dresses for certain ocations. All things that I think can be worked out.

What I love about her is that she comes from a GREAT family which is extreamly important to me. She would with out a doubt be an AMAZING mother to my children. And she loves my culture (GREEK) and everything about me and supports every thing I do. I think because of this she would be a great person to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

There are plenty of other women out there but why keep trying to find one if I already have such history with B and if I can totally see this working out.

Fri 12/01 I called her to explain to her what I did (writing in her journal) she was very mad at me for it. I explained to her that I was foolish for breaking up with her and that after thinking about it I felt we could work this relationship out. I also told her that our relationship in the past was not working and that I felt it was because of our distance. I then told her I wanted for us to live in the same town and invited her to move in with me. I told her I wanted to talk to her more about this but in person (since I felt distace is such an issue here) and offered to drive down to her so we could meet. She was busy and told me that Sunday would work out and that she would call me.

Sunday morning she called me. She said she needed time to process all the things I told her and that she would need a few weeks to think about all of this. I told her I understood. She also mentioned how everyone around her is telling her that what I'm doing they have all seen and heard before. She said she does want to see me in person to talk about this and said she agreed with me that we owe it to ourselves to meet at least once more.

I'm not sure at this point what to do. I know I have to give her space and time to think this over and I will do just that. But this hole thing is just so scarry and confusing. Something inside me just won't let go of her and I really want her back. Perhaps FOREVER. She is a great person and although at times I have taken her for granted, I do love her and feel that I could spend the rest of my life with her and I want her back.

Does this sound right though? Am I just too young to even make a dessicion like this? Do I go off heart instincts or do I move on? Has our relationship withstood enough and is it to late to get her back?

I have read some of the ?'s and answers on this site and so many of you have amazing advise. Can any of you tell me your thoughts on this situation and what I should do? What is fare for her? And what might be best for her and I both based on the above info?

Please help, any advise would be much appreciated...

i broke up with my ex girlfriend october 17, '06, and i want her back!

we had been together off and on for over 6 years. having met in college and living in the same town our relationship was GREAT for the most part. since we graduated 2 years ago our relationship had been long distance. (100 miles) eversince, our relationship has disolved. loyalty has always been an issue for me as well. not sure why! maybe the distance? not having her close to me? or maybe a physical attraction? (her wieght always seemed to flucuate and as a result so did my physical attration to her) or maybe i was young, dumb, and full of .... and needed to get playing around w/ other women outta my system?

i have broken up with her before for fullish reasons but we always seemed to get back together. now that we're both 24 i feel like im getting to the point where i want to begin to settle down with my life and focus on my future (job, relationship, marrage) i have a tendancy to over analize things and the thought of marrige scared me until now. recently i brought up the topic of marrige to B (my ex) over the phone. She told me she always saw herself moving to my town and us getting married. i freeked out and told her i didnt feel the same and we broke up. i feel that i said what i said and did what i did cause i didnt give it the thought i should have prior to making the desicion. looking back, i was totally foolish to tell her what i did, and it is not what i truly felt.

after our break up she went to europe for 3 weeks. while she was there i did something HORIBBLE! i was in her city with some friends drinking and partieing. while at a bar 2-blocks from her apartment i at 1AM thought it would be a great idea to pay her place a little visit. so i went to her place and the front door was open. no one was home so i walked into her place and went to her room. i looked through her droor and found her journal. read the last two entries since our breakup and wrote on the last page, "i love you with all my heart." this was a clear invasion of her privecy and at the time and state of mind i thought it was a GREAT idea.....but after sobering up realized it was a HUGE mistake!!!

when she got back i texted her what i did and her response was " you".

the truth is, there are some things i dont like about her. like how careless she is about her wieght. the way she dresses for certain ocations. all things that i think can be worked out.

what i love about her is that she comes from a GREAT family which is extreamly important to me. she would with out a doubt be an AMAZING mother to my children. and she loves my culture (GREEK) and everything about me and supports every thing i do. i think because of this she would be a great person to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

there are plenty of other women out there but why keep trying to find one if i already have such history with B and if i can totally see this working out.

fri 12/01 i called her to explain to her what i did (writing in her journal) she was very mad at me for it. i explained to her that i was foolish for breaking up with her and that after thinking about it i felt we could work this relationship out. i also told her that our relationship in the past was not working and that i felt it was because of our distance. i then told her i wanted for us to live in the same town and invited her to move in with me. i told her i wanted to talk to her more about this but in person (since i felt distace is such an issue here) and offered to drive down to her so we could meet. she was busy and told me that sunday would work out and that she would call me.

sunday morning she called me. she said she needed time to process all the things i told her and that she would need a few weeks to think about all of this. i told her i understood. she also mentioned how everyone around her is telling her that what im doing they have all seen and heard before. she said she does want to see me in person to talk about this and said she agreed with me that we owe it to our selfs to meet at least once more.

im not sure at this point what to do. i know i have to give her space and time to think this over and i will do just that. but this hole thing is just so scarry and confusing. something inside me just wont let go of her and i really want her back. perhaps FOREVER. she is a great person and although at times i have taken her for granted, i do love her and feel that i could spend the rest of my life with her and i want her back.

does this sound right though? am i just too young to even make a dessicion like this? do i go off heart instincts or do i move on? has our relationship withstood enough and is it to late to get her back?

i have read some of the ?'s and answers on this site and so many of you have amazing advise. can any of you tell me ur thoughts on this situation and what i should do? what is fare for her? and what might be best for her and i both based on the above info?

please help, any advise would be much appreciated.......
Hi Dieselgrk... first thing I'd like to say is to give her space. The more you smother her the more you will scare her away and she will distance from you. I was in a relationship for 6 and a 1/2 years of which I was engaged for 6 months. My ex had the same issues about weight like you do with your ex and he too took me for granted and hurt me and broke up with me when it was his convenience to break up or go back with me. Long story short I did the breaking up at the end and it was for good the last time because when I broke up with him he didn't give me my space he smothered me with things that he never did when we were together down to the point that the fluctuations in weight wasn't an issue anymore and I just couldn't tolerate it anymore to the point that I just couldn't see him nor talk to him anymore and I had to get away from him. Unfortunately he realized what he had with me when I wasn't around... like the saying goes you don't know what you have until its gone. So do yourself a favor and her... if you want a future with her let breathe and give her her space so she can really think things out because you did hurt her. Remember you need Trust in a relationship for a relationship to last because without Trust you don't have love... without respect you don't have love... Think about it and Good Luck...

It sounds OK apart from this "the truth is, there are some things i dont like about her. like how careless she is about her wieght. the way she dresses for certain ocations. all things that i think can be worked out.
"

How did you express this to her when you were together? The way you communicate such issues is so important to a woman. You could for example arrange activities outside to do with her, tell her how great she looks when dressed up etc etc.. But the communication here is key!!

Rigth now give her some tiime alone to digest what you told her..

I agree with the above responses..

Give her plenty of space now...

Yes.. you took her for granted and were also scared off by the thought of commitment.

What you did when you were drunk is forgivable.It was very wrong and an invasion of her privacy but you were not in the right frame of mind and luckily what you wrote was rather nice from her point of view. She sounds as if she can forgive you for that.

I agree with rol about what you said about her weight issue. You should express your concern for this in ways that allow you both to work on the problem together by engaging in physical activities together.

From what you have wrote, she sounds relatively beautiful on the inside, (you know that) so look beyond her exterior.. It is only a shell and if you truly love her, you will support her no matter what.

I know you are aware of that now.

So just give her time and space. You have already told her how you feel, so just let her make her mind up, don't put any pressure on her.