This problem has been in my mind for awhile.

At this point in my life, I seriously don't want kids. Seriously.

I'm 24 years old. I have a lame job. My boyfriend and I aren't even living together and as far a I know, we have no arrangements TO live together...

Is that normal? Because no matter who I talk to, where I go... people are constantly talking about their kids. One girl even told me that I should have a kid so I can talk to them about kids. I can't relate to anyone right now at work because, no joke, I'm the only one in my circle of co-workers that doesn't have a kid.

I even told my boyfriend that I didn't want to have kids with him until we've been married for at least 3 years. Seeing as how he doesn't want any type of marriage commitments right now, we'll be the 30+ year old parents with babies :rolleyes:

I guess I'm just paranoid that maybe I missed the "nuturing" gene. Everyone I know is in love with kids. My boyfriend even likes kids.. but I don't. I avoid them. And now I'm being all paranoid because I know a lot of people who are pregnant. Everywhere I go, girls are pregnant. I have two baby showers to go to this summer, and I just don't want to. I don't want to hold new babies... I'd just rather not. And my boyfriends sister is pregnant, and I'm really not looking forward to my boyfriend putting me off for this baby. I know that's completely self centered, completely aware of it. But, that's just me.

A friend of mine told me she felt the same way I do now.. She also has a kid (go figure!). She told me that once it happens, feelings change. But I just can't foresee that happening.

I'm also paranoid because I never want to be in a situation that over 90% of the population where I live currently are in.. Tied to someone because of a baby.. Throw away my life dreams and goals because of a baby.. Mentally, emotionally and financially unstable for a new baby. I just don't want that... I really don't. I think that would absolutely suck.

I don't think I'm normal. :confused:

You aren't alone Lucky, why do you think I have so many dogs? ;)

I'm also 24 and I don't ever want children, never have, doubt I ever will.
All my friends talk about wanting kids and baby things and I just sit there in the corner.

I never held my little brother as a baby... I just didn't feel comfortable. Once he was past the 'baby stage' and grew into a toddler we have a lot of fun together.

I also know a lot of people who have boyfriends/partners and don't live together.
I also know some who have been together 20+ years and never got married.

If you are happy with your life and the situation then that's all that matters.

If you aren't happy, then it's time to come up with a plan to make some changes.

Making sure that you have the most protection as possible to avoid pregnancy,in saying all that your old enough to know that even with the best contraception it can still happen.

Letting your partner know how you feel,and reasuring him that you won't be changing your mind any time soon or maybe ever.

I don't think its odd or weird to feel as you do.

Thank god Shazzy! I don't feel alone! Lol

I have talked to my boyfriend. He's aware of how I feel with kids. He knows I'm not ready for one and that I refuse to "trap" him with a child.

The sad thing is, I'm more excited for my friends new baby then for my boyfriends sisters new baby. My friend made all the wrong choices, where as my b/fs sister is married with a stable job... However, my b/fs sister got pregnant within 3 months of getting married. I just find that absolutely wrong!

I'm aware that birth control isn't a 100% guarantee to prevent pregnancy. However, I am on one of the better forms. The nuvaring. Instead of forgetting to take pills and having the hormone spikes and what not, the nuvaring releases a steady stream of hormones. Not only is it more effective then the pill, but also the day I decide I want to have kids, the nuvaring has a faster turn around to be able to have kids. Or at least that is what I read...

I have been toying with the idea on getting the Mirena implant. 5 years with no pills! Awesome!

But thank you both for you're response. I still feel like I'm the odd man out due to everyone I know having kids. But oh well.. :)

:) As the others have said, you are not alone in how you feel. Many women choose not to have children, or put it off until later after they have accomplished other goals and dreams first. Who's to say you won't change your mind in 5 years, or even 10 years after you have done some more living? You may not... the nice thing is is that there is no "right or wrong" way.

I had to smile when you mentioned thinking it was so wrong that your boyfriend's sister got pregnant within three months of getting married... :) Many couples want to start a family right away... once again, there is no "right or wrong" only different choices and opinions.

My sense with these sorts of questions is - what is 'normal' anyway?

I'm considerably older than you, and I've never had children. I've honestly just never felt a strong desire to do so, and the men I fell in love with already had children, so it wasn't an important part of the relationship.

People have often asked me - 'why did you decide not to have children?'... my answer is, that I actually didn't ever consciously make a decision NOT to have children, the reality is, I didn't ever decide TO have them.

I can honestly say to you that my life has been freer because I don't have kids and I have had some wonderful relationships - however, I can also see that children bring great joy into people's lives, but hey, there are many ways of finding joy.

You need to do what you feel is right for you - having children is a huge decision and should be one we take seriously. Sadly, many people don't take it seriously enough!