Hi, All!

I mean the question in a general way. Although, perhaps I should make it more specific, but maybe a general listing of things that have happened and coping strategies might provide help to some people... Being specific about instances is okay too!

For now, the addiction could be drugs, alcohol, love, sex, medications, food, having a desire to do something over and over again, even though it's been proven not to be healthy to do so. Maybe even other things..

It could be about you, a relative, a friend or coworker, etc.

What might be some of the steps that you or others have taken to deal with the addiction?

For instance - Have you hidden it? Been afraid to reveal it about you or someone else? Afraid to "snitch" on a coworker or other person for fear of some kind of retaliation or the results of "snitching" in one way or another? Successfully helped yourself or someone else? Maybe even actually saved your own, or been a part of saving the life and/or reputation of someone else?

In order to be successful at dealing with the addiction in a positive and proactive way, to cure the addiction, what might be some of the first steps as well as follow-up steps to take in order to be able to do that?

Protecting the privacy of others is paramount here, but please do share..

Thanks!

Addictions are a behavior you can't stop and my feeling is you have to be genetically wired for that behavior.

Addictive behavior is quite different.

OK, so I drink too many Pepsi's. Is that addictive. I also drink unsweetened iced tea as my preferred beverage. Coffee give me a headache. All have cafeine.

I like wine before going to bed and on ice creame. Every night, no.

AT one point in my life I had a coffee and donut nearly every morning for breakfast. I quit when I saw the nasty reprocussions.

Yep, I did probably get "addicted" to a prescription for about 4 weeks. Still taking it, but after 25 years, but no cravings. Broke the cycle myself. I was taking the drug for an inappropriate condition. A migraine med for a sinus headache. Detoxed myself and made sure the triggers were right for addicting medication and then no problems.

I believe I had a glimpse into that world, but I didn't stay long.

You have to watch substitution and stepping stones to worsening behaviors.

I'll end it with "Everything in moderation. With too much water, you can drown" It's a simple premise to believe in.

Addictions are a behavior you can't stop and my feeling is you have to be genetically wired for that behavior.

Addictive behavior is quite different.

OK, so i drink too many Pepsi's. Is that addictive. I also drink unsweetened iced tea as my preferred beverage. Coffee give me a headache. All have cafeine.

I like wine before going to bed and on ice creame. Every night, no.

AT one point in my life I had a coffee and donut nearly every morning for breakfast. I quit when I saw the nasty reprocussions.

Yep, I did probably get "addicted" to a prescription for about 4 weeks. Still taking it, but after 25 years, but no cravings. Broke the cycle myself. I was taking the drug for an inappropriate condition. A migraine med for a sinus headache. Detoxed myself and made sure the triggers were right for addicting medication and then no problems.

I believe I had a glimpse into that world, but I didn't stay long.

You have to watch substitution and stepping stones to worsening behaviors.

I'll end it with "Everything in moderation. With too much water, you can drown" It's a simple premise to believe in.

Okay, so it does depend on what a person's definition as to what an addiction is. That can vary, depending on the individual.

I do take exception to what you write, that a addictions "are a behavior you can't stop."

Both caffeine and sugar can be considered to be addictive, depending on the definition for addiction or that which is addictive.

Thanks!

I did say "addiction" and "addictive behaviors" and I don't think they are the same.

The "addiction" needs the genetic glue, the "addictive bahaviors" don't.

To me, it's still a matter of definition. An addictive behavior, to me, can become an addiction if it's done long enough that it becomes a problem that's hard for the person to stop.

Anyway, what do you think might be the first ways a person might come to realize that they are addicted to something, KISS?

Thanks!

In my addiction it took the courts to 'help' me decide that either juvenile lock-up or treatment were going to be the next step.

I chose treatment(imagine that:p)

In the first 2 1/2 weeks I detoxed(yes,I was a full blown addict/alcoholic at age 15),then the subsequent 30 day program was extended because it took so long for me to find reality.I stayed in treatment for a total of 6 1/2 weeks.(this was back in '84)

I learned that I was powerless over my behaviors,my addiction,my need to self medicate.

During the time in treatment we had many outings to meetings,some in house,many more outside the hospital, just to get us exposed to the meetings and the people.That alone was a HUGE factor in my recovery.

No,I haven't been clean and sober for all these years,there have been times I have returned to the chaos, but from that time in treatment,I learned.I learned that I had a problem,a disease,treatable but not curable.The progression of it can be stopped, and at my discretion,can be started again simply by taking that first drink/drug,etc.

In time I learned the steps suggested by the program I followed,I attended 90 meetings in 90 days(as suggested by the program),I found someone who I could believe in and asked them to be my sponsor and we began to work the steps of the program.

Now I have attended meetings in 6 different states,100's of locations in them,met close to 150,000 people in recovery(no,I couldn't name even 1/100th of them, but we all follow one idea,don't take that first drink/drug,etc.)

Today for the first time in my life,I am going to be smoke free,I have smoked for more than 30 years, it's the last vice(besides gambling,, hehe) that I have to end in my life, it is said to be harder than alcohol or drugs, but with the knowledge I have of how AA/NA,etc work,I can apply the steps to this addiction and overcome this one too.

Basic rules for recovery of addictions.

1) You don't take that first drink/drug.

2) Call your sponsor BEFORE you take that first drink/drug

3) You only have to be sober for 24 hours a day,if you can't make it,see rule 2

4) Attend 90 meetings in 90 days,it gets you associated with those in recovery, people with addictions don't recover on their own,we need support.

One of the phrases used in the program is:I am responsible when anyone,anywhere,reaches out for help,I want the hand of(aa/na,etc) to be there,and for that I am responsible.(paraphrased as I don't have the literature in front of me right now)

I didn't recover alone,I can't expect others to do it alone either.I was given a gift,the gift of sobriety.I owe anyone who wants to recover my time,effort,support,etc.Others gave to me,now it's my turn.

In the beginnings of recovery it is a selfish process, newcomers need to learn things,new coping skills,ways to overcome the urges,ways to not repeat the past failures.After a time,that changes,they begin to understand the recovery process and they start to return the efforts given freely to them by others, sometimes it's simple things(cleaning up after a meeting,offering encouragement to others,fellowship before and after a meeting,etc)

I guess this could go on and on, eventually it would sound like a speaker meeting so I'll stop here(for now:p)

What an articulate and heartfelt post, KBC!

You really are a profile in courage! :)

I wonder if others will add their experiences as well?

Thanks Clough, I really do like to share these things,it is a good reminder to me of where I came from and where I am today, miles away from those ways,for sure:)

I wonder if others will add their experiences as well??

Thanks Clough,,I really do like to share these things,it is a good reminder to me of where I came from and where I am today,,miles away from those ways,for sure:)

I sure do hope that others will also share their experiences!

By the way, I attended another meeting this morning...

Thanks!

I sure do hope that others will also share their experiences!

By the way, I attended another meeting this morning...

Thanks!

More more more,, what have you begun to see,anything?

I'm an alcoholic/addict. Tomorrow is my first anniversary of sobriety. I was a daily beer drinker for over thirty years. Then I had to take prescription painkillers for over three years following two surgeries. The strongest type, Oxycodone. The depression from loss of mobility at the beginning of parenthood took it's toll. It really gave the addiction a foothold.

I almost overdosed several times.

I went to be detoxed, did a 35 day stay in rehab(wonderful place), and am still an active member in AA.

I live with daily pain, but understand that I simply cannot take drugs for relief. Only Motrin.

I am clean, and want to stay that way. I will not say that I won't ever drink or drug again. Because I don't know what the future holds for me, and also know the demon of addiction. All I do know is that as of today, I won't drink or take drugs. You see, it's one day at a time, every day, every week...

The love of a good woman, AA, and the God of my understanding is what worked for me. And for those reasons, I am eternally grateful.

I'll gladly help anyone with the problem of drugs and alcohol. Just PM me.

God bless the still suffering alcoholic/addict.

I'm an alcoholic/addict. Tomorrow is my first anniversary of sobriety. I was a daily beer drinker for over thirty years. Then I had to take prescription painkillers for over three years following two surgeries. The strongest type, Oxycodone. The depression from loss of mobility at the beginning of parenthood took it's toll. It really gave the addiction a foothold.

I almost overdosed several times.

I went to be detoxed, did a 35 day stay in rehab(wonderful place), and am still an active member in AA.

I live with daily pain, but understand that I simply cannot take drugs for relief. Only Motrin.

I am clean, and want to stay that way. I will not say that I won't ever drink or drug again. Because I don't know what the future holds for me, and also know the demon of addiction. All I do know is that as of today, I won't drink or take drugs. You see, it's one day at a time, every day, every week........

The love of a good woman, AA, and the God of my understanding is what worked for me. And for those reasons, I am eternally grateful.

I'll gladly help anyone with the problem of drugs and alcohol. Just PM me.

God bless the still suffering alcoholic/addict.

Okay, you've inspired me to come clean here, jmjoseph! Since you're jumping on the bandwagon with that, I'm going to reveal that I just got out of detox for alcohol this past week. Also, joined AA this past week.

I never want to go through the DT's again!

Have been clean for just a little over a week...

Man, it's tough!

I have a great sponsor, though!

Congratulations on going for a whole year! I'm sure that it's been tough for you!

Thank you so much for sharing! :)

Yeah, one day, even one moment at a time...

Thanks! :)

Originally Posted by Clough
I sure do hope that others will also share their experiences!

By the way, I attended another meeting this morning...

Thanks!


More more more,, what have you begun to see,anything?

I've made a number of new friends, got a piano tuning without solicitating it, I also spoke at the meeting yesterday morning without having any tears.

I'm starting to accept things...

But, it's really tough, as I'm sure that you know!

I'm not nearly as articulate and well-spoken as some of the veterans in the groups. Mind is still in a fog. Can't remember everything that even happened in treatment...

Thanks!

Clough. It takes something serious for us to finally see that there is indeed a problem with alcohol and/or drugs. Like an elevator, our problem has different levels. We all have our own "bottom" to hit before we get the appropriate help. I just hope that someone out there who is suffering from this disease, will see that it CAN and DOES happen every day.

People get sober every day. But sadly for so many of us, we lose so much, and do so much harm to the ones we truly love, before we will accept help.

You are taking the best path for a successful recovery. Alcoholics just cannot quit drinking at home. They can possibly die from the seizures. Detox, rehab , and then AA or an equivalent 12 step program ( AA is the best I think anyway). That's from everything I've been taught as being the best way to lifelong sobriety.

Clough, I know it was hard for you to admit that you have a problem. But understand that you are not weak. You are not a bad person. You are just sick, and are getting better.

I am very proud of you. And you should be too.

God bless you.

Hang in there. It gets better with time.

Bless your heart, jmjoseph!

You're a wonderful witness! :)

What I'm looking forward to, is that those of us with addictions helping one another here!

Thanks!

I'm not nearly as articulate and well-spoken as some of the veterans in the groups.

'THAT' comes in time,, don't sweat the small stuff, it's all small stuff.. :)

The more you participate in meetings,the more your true self comes out,the more you FEEL feelings,, you will become more at ease with wording,procedure,opening readings, daily meditations... etc.

Within a few years I had the How It Works down to where I didn't have to read from the pages.

The steps were from memory as well.

The promises were not always read,so they took a while longer(and they will only materialize if we work for them anyway:p)

Right now, it feels like my brain is fried because of all the drinking.

Still in a fog. Especially after last week!

Will I recover my thinking? During a period in the 1980's when I gave up drinkiing for Lent, my speech and thinking were so fast that a relative asked me to slow down!

But, I'm a lot older now...

As a purely physical process your mental acuity should improve daily. When I "tied one on" I found that it took about 10 days to return to normal. Your rate, of course, will be a little different. You mentioned de-tox, if they provided any stabilizing medication (shots, TR tabs) that may be operative. Also, if you experienced DTs that amounts to a significant disruption of a whole gaggle of neurons that must re-orient and get back in proper firing sequence. But it all works out and within a short period you'll be purring along. Keep that sponsor's number handy and work through any potential problems early-on before they reach crisis level. Also, get some multi-vitamins. Not magic but helpful.

Right now, it feels like my brain is fried because of all the drinking.

Still in a fog. Especially after last week!

Will I recover my thinking? During a period in the 1980's when I gave up drinkiing for Lent, my speech and thinking were so fast that a relative asked me to slow down!

But, I'm a lot older now...

I haven't felt this good in years. I mean that. I can almost speed- read now. Almost.

Your body has some "repairations" to do. You didn't become an alcoholic overnight, you're not going to be "clean" overnight.

What better way to prolong your life than to quit "pickling" yourself, huh?

You will have reminders. You will be tried. But like DrBill mentions, keep your sponsor's number handy. And PM me anytime you want.

I will mention one thing. Beware of the "jump". I know alcoholics who think they are doing so good, but with the help of Xanax, or Valium. Just try to stay away from ANY mood altering substance. Tobacco and coffee don't count. I no longer smoke(six years), but I sure do like my coffee.

God bless. Good night to all.

Now, this is the way to go! Right?


fun and friendy rehab
30 days $6,500, pool, spa, beach, surf, Opiates, Meth, Alcohol, detox, pets OK

Now, this is the way to go! Right?

Nice try! The place I went to would not even let us use a phone. Yea, try that for 5 weeks. We could however write and receive letters.

It's all for the cause of getting better.

Where I went was for the detox thing. I was in real bad shape when I went in. After the first night there and after having not drunk any alcohol, I could hardly walk. Nurses had to take me under both arms just to get me across the hall for the examination by the doctor.

When initially went in, they made me emply all of my pockets. I was allowed to keep hardly anything, other than clothes and stuff for my contact lenses, while I was there.

I've got another AA meeting tonight at 8:00 P.M. That will be the third, different group to which I've been.

How are you doing with not smoking, KBC?

Thanks!

KISS AND CLOUGH- MY thopughts on this is about the same as clough just said
above I will add this #1- There was more then one of you preasent in those mettings,HE WAS THERE helping you ,#1a- BECAUSE HE SAW AND KNEW YOU WERE DOING AS HE WANTED YOU TO DO!! -CLEAN UP YOUR THOUGHTS<WAY
THAT YOU WERE DESTROYING YOUR BODY,HE saws in the BIBLE that we are not to do thiongs that is harmful to our bodies; { KISS AND CLOUG --I WILL SAY THAT IT TAKES A MAN TO ADMIT HIS MISTAKES< AND WRONGS HE MAKES
I look up to you both eor admiting them; } NOW let me say this , I used to drink back in the service time and a few years after, most so while overseas. What cajsed me to stop was that my wife's next to younger brother and his girlfreind [both age 16],left barb and my home going to the show in town and a drunk driver came around a curve and hit them head on ,killing both instantly;he was driving pretty fast and was on their side of the road, also he had (NO)
driverslicense from drunk driving. Then about a year later my oldest sister and husband was killed the same way and I told myself that it could be ME doing that someday and{ I QUIT};;now I had one other bad habit; I and two other boys started smoking ,and I finnaly about six years ago, I smoked non filter camels all those years ,I was 68 years old then and I started when I was seven or eight, it took me severl years ,trying different things . Hypo. three times , cold turkey, help from others, but they have said that it is harder to break the smoking habit then it is tio break the heron habit;I had the want to but just couldn't, then I developed my own way ;; I started to miss that eirst one every morning ,includeing after breakfast, talk about hard ,I almost went crazy I wanted a cigreetteso bad ,but I held out, I got that done after a couple weeks and then started working on after supper, got that worked out and went to the one just before bed time, this one was really hard and took about three weeks ;WHAT HELPED ME TO OVER COME THIS WAS A LOT OF PRAYING AND ASKING FOR HIS HELP AND IT HELPED MOST OF ALL < I still have the erdge whin I smell smoke when someone is cl;ose and smoking, I've come close a few times to just take a small drugg but held my strength and refused : BUT I have told others on how I did it and they have tried it and it worked for them also;;AND ANYONE READING THIS WANTS TO STOP SMOKING <I WILL SAY PLEASE DO TRY WHAT HELPED ME<AND SOME OTHERS!! NOW the problem with my lungs by two lung doctors is not from my smoking all those years ,they were as surprised as I was ,more so because of the kind of cig. I smoked; I still thank the good LORD for that;; Now over the past three years I have come to find out about something that I really or anyone else can do about it I was very healthy all my life until four years ago , I used to have to have a flight phys. Two times a year and passed them with flying colors,then wam,it hit me hard,it got to be so hard for a doctor to give me any kind of medeicans; I was sent to a speiacelist [allergery doctor in MEMphis and tested to allerges to medications ; [lets say that I am sure glad that I was never hooked [addited to drugs ];ecause I would hsave been dead a long,long time ago ;he wrote to my doctors that I am one in ten thousand that I was really allergic to most drugs[medications] and that some were very toxie to my body; in the past three years I have came so close to dying so many times [ o if you know any one that is allergic to (fishand seafood ) STAY AWAY FROM THE DYETHAT SPECIAL X-rays ARE MADE WITH AND Before YOU HAVE A {HEART CATH: WHERE THEY HAVE TO USE IT ALSO {PLEASE TELL YOUR DOCTOR THAT YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO FISH AND SEAFOOD} this has come so close to killing me twice that they even told my wife to cakll the rest of the family in because I wouldn't make it threw the night ; and to top it off the last time they put me in the hosptiol a week ahead of time giving me pre meds that was susposed to counter act the dye,but within a very few hours I was put into critrical care unit for seven days and then a few days on the floor went home and was brought back again just a little less then two weeks in a comma and the testing they did showed that I still had some of the dye in my body, threw AUG,08 and
DEC,08 I WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL 7 TIMES DUE TO THE DYE AND HEART MEDICAINES:: When I had the heart cath. And the dye was used and I iwas put into ICU in aug 08 I was in a coma for the first four daysKISS and CLOUGH, if there is any way at all that I can help with these problems .please let me know ; BUT PLEASE REMEMBER THIS { GO TO GOD IN PRAYER AND ASK HIM TO HELP YOU WITH THIS PROBLEM. You can do this alone or you can GO TO YOUR PASTOR AND TALK WITH HIM AND TO HELP YOU TO PRAY AND ASK GODS HELP< GOD WILL ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS AT THE RIGHT TIME: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO TO HIM IN PRAYER< GOD I ASK YOU NOW AT THIS TIME TO GO TO KISS AND CLOUGH AND HELP THEM WITH THIS PROBLEMAND I ASK THAT TYOU WILL GIVE THEIR DOCTORS THE KNOWLEDGE TO HELP THEM IN EVERY WAY THEY CAN < IN JESUS NAME THANK YOU GOD FOR WHAT YOUR SON DONE FOR US AND PAID THE PRICE FOR OUR SINS <THANK YOU GOD AMEN
IM SORRY TO HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK <BUT I GUESS I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU BOTH ANY WAY I COULD ::: HAVE a great day and GOD BLESS::F.B>E.

Thank you so much for sharing, Flying Blue Eagle! There's even more people on this thread who've had problems with additions. Please read it all the way through.

Thank you for the prayer! I know that you care!

I pray morning and night and throughout the day, even one minute at a time...

Are you still on oxygen? I remember the many times that you've been in the hospital since we've known each other on this site.

It's been great working together as a team with you! :)

Thanks!

Clough. It takes something serious for us to finally see that there is indeed a problem with alcohol and/or drugs. Like an elevator, our problem has different levels. We all have our own "bottom" to hit before we get the appropriate help. I just hope that someone out there who is suffering from this disease, will see that it CAN and DOES happen every day.

People get sober every day. But sadly for so many of us, we lose so much, and do so much harm to the ones we truly love, before we will accept help.

You are taking the best path for a successful recovery. Alcoholics just cannot quit drinking at home. They can quite possibly die from the seizures. Detox, rehab , and then AA or an equivalent 12 step program ( AA is the best I think anyway). That's from everything I've been taught as being the best way to lifelong sobriety.

Clough, I know it was hard for you to admit that you have a problem. But understand that you are not weak. You are not a bad person. You are just sick, and are getting better.

I am very proud of you. And you should be too.

God bless you.

Hang in there. It gets better with time.

For me, jmjoseph, I had to hit rock bottom. And, that's exactly what happened a week ago Saturday.

On the Friday before that Saturday, I was tuning the piano at a customer's home and kept throwing up. I wouldn't admit it, but I was in alcohol withdrawl.

The next day, Saturday, I again started drinking in the morning - vodka and orange juice. Called a friend to pick me up so that I could help her and her son to work in a yard. I was pretty much useless.

She took me home, where my daughter proceeded to yell at me, "You're gonna die! You're gonna die!"

At that point, my friend took me to the hospital where I started on the detox thing.

More about the detox thing later...

Hopefully, others will also share concerning that sort of thing.

Thanks!

You've got to replace it with something better. The addiction is there because of a real need. You have to meet that need in a better way, and then the addiction won't have so much power.

you've got to replace it with something better. The addiction is there because of a real need. You have to meet that need in a better way, and then the addiction won't have so much power.

It's not always so black and white.

You do realize that there is a genetic connection in SOME alcoholics/addicts?

I've got another AA meeting tonight at 8:00 P.M. That will be the third, different group to which I've been.

How are you doing with not smoking, KBC?

Thanks!

As F.B.E. said,'It's harder to quit smoking than to quit Heroin'

I have smoked during the day,the effects of the patch and added smokes has taken a toll on me,I have serious sweat issues,powerful dream scenes,appetite is all but gone, all normal for too much nicotine in the system(I guess)(Where's J_9 when you need that medical advice anyway... :p)

Anyway... I don't wake with a craving,I don't have cravings at night, nor after the (sparse)meals I have, mine happen during the day,when I used to reward myself for doing good hard effort and took a break.I can't smoke in the bobcat,it has an enclosed cab(and it isn't mine), so when I get out to look over what I am working on,I look first to the smoking.That has to be curbed.

I see that you are making the meetings, more,more more!! Meeting makers make it!The more you are involved with those in recovery(those who WANT to recover),the better the chances you'll have when the next craving hits you, as F.B.E.also stated about spirituality,meetings are a charging place,readying your response to the temptation of the outlet drinking used to be.

You can't forget,your disease is right outside the front door of the meeting,doing it's best to stay in shape while you are in there,just in case it has to pick you up when you slip,,

Relapse isn't a requirement for recovery.

Ken

[QUOTE=Flying Blue Eagle;... ::: HAVE a great day and GOD BLESS::F.B>E.[/QUOTE]

From somewhere,you have hit a spot in me, from a few years ago,something you wrote made me open my eyes.I knew you were someone I should respond to,to follow,as-it-were.

Your stories,your experiences,your success in the face of hardships,etc.All these and more have had me thinking you are someone special, that I should listen to the wisdom offered,lest it be gone from my life.

Thank you for offering your story about your losses to drunk drivers,there are far too many who can't or won't due to this or that reason.Overall,I think the need to expose the real issues of alcohol and it's negative impact on man needs to be addressed.Life experiences like this are prime examples.

You are a most honored member here F.B.E. I think I have let you know that in the past and wanted to make sure you hear it again.:)

Originally Posted by eyebright
You've got to replace it with something better. The addiction is there because of a real need. You have to meet that need in a better way, and then the addiction won't have so much power.


It's not always so black and white.

You do realize that there is a genetic connection in SOME alcoholics/addicts?

My mom's dad was a horrible alcoholic. There was also severe alcoholism on my dad's side.

Somewhere online, there's an article from an early newspaper about one of my relatives being found, I think in a shack by the Mississippi River, after having died from alcohol poisoning. I'll see if I can find the article.

Originally Posted by Clough
I've got another AA meeting tonight at 8:00 P.M. That will be the third, different group to which I've been.

How are you doing with not smoking, KBC?

Thanks!


As F.B.E. said,'It's harder to quit smoking than to quit Heroin'

I have smoked during the day,the effects of the patch and added smokes has taken a toll on me,I have serious sweat issues,powerful dream scenes,appetite is all but gone, all normal for too much nicotine in the system(I guess)(Where's J_9 when you need that medical advice anyway... :p)

Anyway... I don't wake with a craving,I don't have cravings at night, nor after the (sparse)meals I have, mine happen during the day,when I used to reward myself for doing good hard effort and took a break.I can't smoke in the bobcat,it has an enclosed cab(and it isn't mine), so when I get out to look over what I am working on,I look first to the smoking.That has to be curbed.

I see that you are making the meetings, more,more more!! Meeting makers make it!The more you are involved with those in recovery(those who WANT to recover),the better the chances you'll have when the next craving hits you, as F.B.E.also stated about spirituality,meetings are a charging place,readying your response to the temptation of the outlet drinking used to be.

You can't forget,your disease is right outside the front door of the meeting,doing it's best to stay in shape while you are in there,just in case it has to pick you up when you slip,,

Relapse isn't a requirement for recovery.

Ken

I'm not clear...

So, are you saying that you have smoked some during the day since trying to quit?

The A.A. meeting last night was wonderful! Made some additional new friends and got some more numbers to call. Might have even gotten another new member for my barbershop chorus!

The next meeting that I go to will be tomorrow night!

I haven't had an alcoholic drink since April 17th!

Man, would I really like to have a beer! :eek:

I tell them about my cravings at the meetings.

Clough, do you need some long term rehab? If you are not going to at least one, preferably two, meetings a day, you are taking risks with your sobriety. Right now you are a "dry drunk". Nothing has changed in your life except the elimination of alcohol in your BODY. Now is the time that you start working on your MIND. There are the steps to begin. You already know the steps, now work on number one. I sure hope your sponsor is tough on you right now to be LIVING AA.

This the tough period.

You say that you want "a beer" What I hear is " I want to suck the bottom out of fifth of Smirnoff." Tell the truth, A beer?

You need to be doing anything other than thinking of a drink. You really need to be in an institution right now. They are there for a reason. Is there any reason why you didn't seek further treatment?

Statistically speaking, people with extended care after detox have a higher chance of staying sober. And statistically speaking, even those who go to rehab, have a 60% percent chance of relapse.

With not stack the odds in your favor?

I'm pulling for you Clough. I'm praying for you too. But if you want to keep that April 17th sobriety date, you are going to have to bust your butt to do it.

You are going to have to make some major changes in your lifestyle and way of thinking.

Yes,I have had smokes since starting the patch, I am currently down to 5 a day now.. The patch doesn't replace the habit,at least for me it hasn't,it does make it so you can go without, if you are strong enough... I am not,, yet.. But I'm getting there.

Progress,not perfection.

Yes,I have had smokes since starting the patch,,I am currently down to 5 a day now..The patch doesn't replace the habit,at least for me it hasn't,it does make it so you can go without,,if you are strong enough...I am not,,,yet..But I'm getting there.

Progress,not perfection.

KBC, I quit almost 7 years ago. I smoked less and less, and used Wellbutrin for three weeks and then just stopped altogether.

I was tempted to restart while in rehab, but I'm glad I didn't.

If you can quit your other demon, you can quit smoking. Good luck to you.

KBC, I quit almost 7 years ago. I smoked less and less, and used Wellbutrin for three weeks and then just stopped altogether.

I was tempted to restart while in rehab, but I'm glad I didn't.

If you can quit your other demon, you can quit smoking. Good luck to you.

Thank you, the support is most welcomed!

Clough, do you need some long term rehab? If you are not going to at least one, preferably two, meetings a day, you are taking risks with your sobriety.

You say that you want "a beer" What I hear is " I want to suck the bottom out of fifth of Smirnoff." Tell the truth, A beer?

I'm pulling for you Clough. I'm praying for you too. But if you want to keep that April 17th sobriety date, you are going to have to bust your butt to do it.

You are going to have to make some major changes in your lifestyle and way of thinking.

This is serious time, making meetings!

You have to put the same effort you put into drinking into going to meetings, you did whatever it took to make sure you had a drink,right? Now you have to apply that same thing to sobriety, or else the three will happen..

Jail,institution or death.

Your choice, the chaos is right under that first cap,it's waiting for a moment to find you weak and vulnerable, at meetings there is strength.Alone it's you,your faith,your will power,, against a disease that has no bounds.It cares nothing if you do or don't drink,as long as it can keep you close to the chaos, it'll eventually win.

I am slowly removing myself from that chaos, again, smoking is a really nasty one, but I have a track record of winning, I believe in myself enough that I will prevail.. do you have this?Every day?? night?

Please rethink the meetings, each day, each night, every time you think that a drink sounds like heaven, you have to remember hell, play the tape out, the one you have in your mind that shows you where you are going to go, right back to where you were.

It is said that those who stopped drinking, even for many years, when they started up once again, it was like they never quit... all the problems,all the reasons,all the negativity/hurt family/etc, was all there,, don't get weak,go for the winning team... and call your sponsor BEFORE you drink!!

How did last night go?

Hey Clough,

Alcohol is physically addicting for about 10% of Americans. It also worms it's way into the mind and emotions. Other life issues or difficulties are dulled by drinking and come out screaming when the alcohol is no longer there.

I was in in-patient treatment of a month or so 4 different times. The final time, I knew that there must be something I had been missing or neglecting. AA is fantastic but does not address other habits (non-drug) as directly.

For me, the other coping strategies I used for perceived emotional stability were poking holes in my boat. I am addicted to sugar, caffeine and relationships. What worked was to stop these addictions along with alcohol.

The biggest culprit for me was "men." Looking back over all the quitting the one thing I hadn't tried was not getting involved with a guy. AA suggests not getting into a relationship for a year. I finally tried it... Still sober, 10 years!

Sugar and caffeine were coping, comfort things too. Getting away with something I felt was bad for me started an emotional roller-coaster. Emotional sobriety has been an awesome discovery for me.

One thing people always say at meetings is that if you don't drink, you won't get drunk. Or, don't take the first drink. Then, I heard something that I could internalize, don't take a drink...Even if you want to. For some reason, that was what I needed to hear.

Hang in there. Hang with people who aren't addicted to stuff. Yeah, sometimes they're really, really boring. But once you get past the phase where you stringently avoid the beer and wine section in the grocery store, those folks start to become quite interesting.

A final thought. I was terrified that if I didn't drink alcohol, life would be boring. It sure isn't. But the relief gained by not hiding abnormal drinking or telling half-truths is priceless.

KBC-Here is something that I forgot to put in mine the other night;;I got me some of the plastic
Tipped little cigarsone for morning and one for afternoon, I did not light them just held them in my mouthand chewed the ens out of the tip.I would want to light it so bad but I kept refuseing to and I did get a little flover taste out of just holding it in my mouth, {BUT NO SMOKE
AND Didn't REALLY GO CRAZY WANTING TO LIGHT IT: TRY THIS IT MAY HELP YOU :HOPE SO :: Here is something that really gets tio me ,every time I see it {QUITE OFTEN } I hate seeing these people running down the highway( ALONG SIDE IN THE EMERG LANE:: BREATYHING HARD AND DEEP AND ALL THE TIME JUST THINK )F ALL THE CARBON MONIXIDE
FROM ALL THE VECULESTHAT ARE PASSING THEM AND GIVFING THEM A GOOD DOSE OUT THEIR TAIL PIPE;; and if you get within 30 feet of them with a lit cigreete ,they holler and say TO YOU " YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT THAT OUT ITS KILLING ME AND THEY WILL START COUGHING:: { NOW DID TGHEY STOP TO THINK ABOUT THE FOUR LANES OF CARS <TRUCKS <BUSSES ECT.ECT.? I HOPE AND PRAY THAT CLOUGH IS ,DOING BETTER TONIGHT!! KBC-THANKS FOR THE NICE WORDS< AND I Didn't KNOW THAT I HAD HELOED YOU THAT TIME <BUT IM PROUD TO KNOW THAT I DID AND I HOPE THAT I CAN DO SOMETHING TO HELP YOU <CLOUGH AND OTHERS IN THE FUTURE: WELL I guess I have bent your hear long enough [chawnnin ]as wens cals its dow thisn ways,he he he ,I think I have hitting the 100% oxygen to long
YOU have a great night and a better day tomorrow, AND GOD BLESS {PRAYER IS THE ANSWER} F.B.E.

I have never read a more profound thread, I am so impressed with all of you especially KBC (no wonder you are an expert now, well deserved my friend), FBE (what strength you have), Simon and Joseph ( you are amazing).

But you Clough my friend, you are the one that makes me so proud to call you my friend. You found the strength and willpower to take that first step and that means that you stepped up to the plate to challenge your demons.

My father was an alcoholic he wasted his life. He had so many opportunities but they were second in his life. He never challenged his problem/s even when fear set in, he just gave in and was defeated.

He never had the strength that you and the others here have. I have learned so much from this thread, thank you people and bless you all.

Clough, I know you, I know how talented you are and over the years I have seen your heart... it is a strong heart.

Thank you, I wish I could add more to this thread, I will be following it because I have an investment in my friends.

Stringer (Spelled it right this time... :) )

I will respond later to the more recent posts concerning myself on this thread. All thoughts have been appreciated!

Went to another meeting tonight! It was wonderful!

Later...

...Still sober, 10 years!.

That's quite an accomplishment, congratulations simoneaugie!

One day at a time!

I just want everyone to know, that I haven't abandoned this thread. I've just had to think very hard about what I'm going to write.

Really tough, right now...

It's been two weeks...

Thanks!

I just want everyone to know, that I haven't abandoned this thread. I've just had to think very hard about what I'm going to write.

Really tough, right now...

It's been two weeks...

Thanks!

Clough, I know it's tough. That's what AA is there for, use it like a tool.

It's not about just stopping the intake of alcohol. It's so much more that you have to deal with right now.

I'm praying for you.

I was addicted to drugs, I called myself a cabinet junkie because I would take cold pills, robotussin, etc to get high. I just stopped cold turkey one day and never looked back.

Hi Clough,

I am glad you are getting help.

And to all the others fighting addictions and keeping clean,wishing you courage to get through and stay clean.

I have never been addicted,but having worked with addicts, I have found that you must not depend on another person to keep you clean,happy,satisfied or away from your addiction.

When you start depending on another human, what happens is that human beings fail you and every time that happens, there is every chance you will look for consolation in something familiar, which more than likely will be the same addiction or a new one.

And that there is no way you can do a little and stop of any substance that you have been previously addicted to. Do not fool yourself into thinking this way.

Good luck to all of you...

.

Hi Clough,

I am glad you are getting help.

And to all the others fighting addictions and keeping clean,wishing you courage to get through and stay clean.

I have never been addicted,but having worked with addicts, I have found that you must not depend on another person to keep you clean,happy,satisfied or away from your addiction.

When you start depending on another human, what happens is that human beings fail you and every time that happens, there is every chance you will look for consolation in something familiar, which more than likely will be the same addiction or a new one.

And that there is no way you can do a little and stop of any substance that you have been previously addicted to. Do not fool yourself into thinking this way.

Good luck to all of you...

.

Yes, TOTAL ABSTINENCE is the key to a successful recovery.

No more "just a couple".

I live in pain. When I first got clean, I had a hard time even riding past a pharmacy without having cravings for all of the good narcotics that I knew were just behind those walls. God forbid I had to go inside to pick up another prescription.

Now I don't think about it so much. I had a cold one day not too long ago. I had to go to one of those quick stop med. Places. I informed the doctor right away that I was a recovering addict before he gave me some really good syrup.

What reminds me on a daily basis, is that I am free and clear of alcohol and narcotics. I would no longer go back to being with a mean, controlling, hateful woman, that I would take painkillers for my pain.

So I take my Motrin, and just tough it out.

No more beer after work, like I did for many, many (30) years.

My drinking had gotten to be just a substitute for the lack of pills. You see, a 30 day supply does not last an addict 30 days. More like 8.

Beer turned into vodka, and I mean a fifth.

Addiction snowballs into a terrible monster.

I am an alcoholic/addict. And I will be for life.

There is no "cure". Only a solution. And that solution is not by trying to do it on your own, at home. It's just postponing the inevitable. You most likely will relapse if you don't get support, and follow the 12 steps of AA.

We draw strength from the stories we have written. The experiences, and hopes of one another.

I must live my life as if it were a constant battle. But it gets easier with time.

My wife and children are glad to have me back.

I love my life now.

God bless the still suffering alcoholic/addict.

CLOUGH- Craig,just keep saying to yourself ,NO I Don't REALLY NEED IT .Sometimes it helps you to refuse taking the drinkand loseing all that you have gained. Craig,I have knownsome very good pilots, some that could fly better after having a few drinks, some I told that siome day we were going to go and SCRAPE them up off the runway with a scoop shovel , have you ever been flyig in a commercial air liner and had a couple drinks {the little bottles they gave out to who ever wanted one , and then they would get a little under the weather and start acting silly , ONE thing most people don't know[ ONE OUNCE AT SEA KLEVEL IS EQUAL TO THREE OUNCES AT (8000 feet) and the higher you go the drunker you get ,just from the one ounce;; in counstruction work I have knownm some off the best carpenters ,steel workers , electricians , but a lot of them had the problem of drinking on the job,they would bring it in a thermos bottle saying it was coff4ee or tea, have even said milk. And you wouldn't know it till they had drunk it and you smelled it on their breathand then you would have to send them home ,with a pink slip even if you didn't want to do it ,but you knew it had to be for their protection and others on the job, I always had a labor to run them home instead of the thought that they may have a wreak and kill there self or someone else;; I HOPE AND PRAY THAT ALL OF THE ONES THAT HAVE COME FORWARD AND SAID THAT THEY HAD A PROBLEM AND HAVE ASKED ALL TO HELP THEM : THAT IS THE FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT PART OF Becoming CURED <THE FIRST STEP :: CLOUGH my friend please try real hard to keep doing what you are and remember that WE ALL LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU . AND remember that thereis no such word as {I CAN'T< if you tell yourself that it also helps, there is nothing impossible;have a great day and a better tomorrow and keep up the good work,wereall proud of you ; your friend F.B.E.

:eek::eek:
CLOUGH- Craig,just keep saying to yourself ,NO I DONT REALLY NEED IT .Sometimes it helps you to refuse taking the drinkand loseing all that you have gained. Craig,I have knownsome very good pilots, some that could fly better after haveing a few drinks, some i told that siome day we were going to go and SCRAPE them up off the runway with a scoop shovel , have you ever been flyig in a commercial air liner and had a couple drinks {the little bottles they gave out to who ever wanted one , and then they would get a little under the weather and start acting silly , ONE thing most people dont know[ ONE OUNCE AT SEA KLEVEL IS EQUAL TO THREE OUNCES AT (8000 feet) and the higher you go the drunker you get ,just from the one ounce;; in counstruction work I have knownm some off the best carpenters ,steel workers , electricians , but a lot of them had the problem of drinking on the job,they would bring it in a thermos bottle saying it was coff4ee or tea, have even said milk. and you wouldnt know it till they had drunk it and you smelled it on their breathand then you would have to send them home ,with a pink slip even if you didnt want to do it ,but you knew it had to be for their protection and others on the job, I always had a labor to run them home instead of the thought that they may have a wreak and kill there self or someone else;; I HOPE AND PRAY THAT ALL OF THE ONES THAT HAVE COME FORWARD AND SAID THAT THEY HAD A PROBLEM AND HAVE ASKED ALL TO HELP THEM : THAT IS THE FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT PART OF BECOMEING CURED <THE FIRST STEP :: CLOUGH my freind please try real hard to keep doing what you are and remember that WE ALL LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU . AND remember that thereis no such word as {I CAN'T< if you tell your self that it also helps, there is nothing impossible;have a great day and a better tomorrow and keep up the good work,wereall proud of you ; your friend F.B.E.

:eek::eek:;):)

Your words mean more to me than you'll ever know, Flying Blue Eagle! Likewise, so do the words of others on this thread...

I'm very physically, mentally and emotionally tired right now. So, it's hard for me to do the best that I can with posting on this thread. Really have to think about the responses that I'll make. It's equally as hard here to respond as it is to speak at an A.A. meeting for me...

Usually, I'm on this site to relax, have some fun and answer and ask questions that might have more to do with activities and interests that people might need help and share with, like art, business, collectibles and the fine arts. That's just some of them. But, I think that you know what I mean...

This thread is different than any of the other types. In this thread, I and others are revealing what's in our hearts, our souls, our inner-most thoughts, how we truly feel and think about ourselves, or whatever a person might want to call it. Our relationship to God or some sort of Higher Power also comes into play.

Honesty plays an enormous role here!

Because of the topic and what is being revealed and subsequently discussed, it's just not an easy thread on which to participate. I'd like to congratulate, celebrate, console and share like the others on this thread have already done.

I'm just simply drained right now... Don't really know the best things to write...

I feel like I'm being real selfish by even posting right now... Don't quite know what's right... Would like to be like a friend to all who are on this thread! To share the love that we all can share!

Have now attended five A.A. meetings. Have spoken at every one of them. Made new friends. Heard stories and feelings like my own... Have another meeting, tomorrow night. Sunday evening. I think that it's a "speaking meeting" where there'll be a guest speaker.

I enjoy the meetings!

But, I'm very confused and depressed for a number of different reasons... Quitting drinking kind of put the "cherry on top" to everything else that has been going on and is going on.

I am less confused and anxious than I was before quitting drinking, though. Those are at least a couple of things that have been accomplished. Am getting more done in many ways. But, the disaster that I created for my life, primarily because of being a drunk, is a hole that is very deep and hard to get out of. Even when I get out of it, there will be many uphill battles to fight and mountains to climb before I'll be able to rest for awhile in a meadow filled with flowers!

God's Love and Peace to You All! :)

As I said before, it's not WHAT you say, it's just that you SAY something,even if it's repeating what you already said(eventually the message you need to hear will materialize)There IS no right or wrong comments in recovery, only keeping back the truth would be the 'wrong' thing to do

HOW group should be a message center, one HAS to be honest,open and willing to do whatever it takes to recover, even if it seems like you are dragging your feet to write something in here, which can seem like h*ll itself.(I can remember many times in the winter where I was so low on myself I would just read and not participate in fear of looking foolish)but once I stuck my neck out and tried,I found I would feel better,even just a little,before I would return to my shell.

The KEY to recovery,drilled into me by my sponsor,ACCEPTANCE.

Accept the things we cannot change,accept that we are powerless over people,places and situations which used to baffle us,accept that we can make mistakes and not have to beat ourselves up over them,accept that we have defects,we are NOT PERFECT.

How many times have you read one of my posts and wondered what it would have been like if YOUR name was behind it?Perhaps never, but try sometime, maybe not mine,but anyone's.See what they are like from their perspective.

I added that last quote to my sigy because I read some of my medical reports from inpatient, many read that I had a narcissistic mood, behavior,etc.Some of that is healthy,too much(and I have had those times,especially during manic episode)were too much.I was kind of upset reading them, they struck a nerve in me, I was being judged.NO ONE I KNOW LIKES BEING JUDGED,NO ONE.

The writing you do on this thread will,in time,begin to show your growth,not only in the fact that the alcohol is gone,but that your real personality will begin to flow without restriction,the burden of self will slowly dissipate into nothingness,leaving you as you are meant to be,human.

I hope this makes sense to you and this can continue on and on, I know it is helping me tremendously,remembering where it is I came from,to rehash the experiences and newness which accompanies recovery.

Good luck my friend,I'll be there for you when you ask, and even when you don't.

Clough, to me this is one of the most important subjects that require advice, help, and attention.

There are probably hundreds more here that have similar problems. We are not the only ones.


It's just not the right time for them to come forward, or to share. Not here. You do your sharing in your meetings first...

God bless.

CLOUGH-What is happing and is doingto youright now will be gone one day and some day things of this time of your life ,will be in your past ,and I hope that you will be able to look backto the past and "SAY ,you mean that was me back then and LOOK at me now ,I feel and look so much better now AND I am really loveing life now, YOU will be back on this site again,answering questions for a lot of people,that will give you the respect and thanks, and have the fun you used to and on other sites. I know you will because I can feekl it and I do not believe that it will be very long.CRAIG ,WE just don't want you to stop or give up ,thinking that you can't make and what's the reason for it ,what good is it going to do me , you know all the answers to these questions already. I know that you have the will power and you will just have to bring it forward .I have never been through anything like this that you are going through but I have know others and they said it is very hard and there is so much you have to COPE with, I know you can do it ,JUst remember there is no such word as {I CAN'T}. When I was a cub master in the cub scouts and a few years later a scout master it the boy scouts , when they [THE BOYS } would say( I can't DO IT) (OR THIS ) I would say this to them and when they tried ,they found out that they could; AND when I needed help from the fathers , I would hold a meeting and I would ask them one question and I wqould say " how would youy men like( to live your boyhood, All over again) 99% would say YESand I would tell them { IN SCOUTING ,YOU CAN DO THAT } I used to get a lot of help this waySO what IM getting at is this:: YOU HAVE ALL THE HELP THAT ANYONE COULD ASK FOR FROM ALL OF US HERE ON THIS SITE AND OTHERS WE akll love you andwant to any way we can ,we are all behind you all the way; SO THAT IS WHY I'M SAYING { THERE IS NO SUCH WORD!! }CLOUGH- There is a ciouple of songs in the him book at church and I really love these two; #1- HE KNOWS MY NAME,He knows my every thought ,HE see's my every tear that falls , HE calls me his own and he hears me when I call }CRAIG- DO not cut yourself down , you are a fine and good person ,so hold your head up high and be proud and loo stright ahead , CLOUGH IV got to close for now ,get back to you later HAVE a great night and a better tomorrow, JUST REMEMBER TO TRUST IN HIM AND PRAY AND ASK HIMMTO HELP <HE IS STANDING IN YOUR CORNER ALSO <I KNOW , FAITH ALSO HELPS:: GOD BLESS MY Friend :: F.B.E.

I just quit cold turkey cigarette addictionor choice. I don't know the mechanics of it. I just knew that it was dumb, and just decided/chose to quit. All those excuses that were made for us addicts were unhelpful to me.

I just quit cold turkey cigarette addictionor choice. I don't know the mechanics of it. I just knew that it was dumb, and just decided/chose to quit. All those excuses that were made for us addicts were unhelpful to me.

Some can quit their chosen actions without much problem,they make a conscious decision and stick to it.Others who are in a long term addiction and have a physical addiction to any certain chemical,drug/alcohol/cigarettes,etc,just don't have the constitution to do so,it isn't just a choice,it has to be something they concentrate on NOT doing on a daily basis.

While I was in my drug/alcohol addiction I was incapable of stopping,spiritually bankrupt,emotionally empty... without outside help there was only 3 possible outcomes for me as is stated at certain meetings:
1) Jails
2) Institutions
3) or death.

This is not drama,this was real hardcore stuff.

If you have ever watched a heroin addict in withdraws,a crack addict without a fix,an alcoholic without any drink, you would see the anguish we have gone through.The emptiness we felt thinking we were alone,that there was no hope for us and suicide seemed like a real good option.

I guess I am saying that you are a lucky person to be able to stop before things got so far beyond you that simply making a decision to stop would be too much.Just don't minimize what others are going through(or have gone through),they need support and that's what this thread is about.

KBC- I think that you have hit the nail on the head [this has been well put, good going ;;F.B.E.

I know a counselor who works with addicts and alcoholics. He is The Bomb. Awesome guy.

He's also done time in seven states. Lost it all more than once.

He would say this to any person thinking they are recovering... he'd ask what are you doing to be recovering...

And his opinion is that many addicts (I use this term for alcohol or drugs... makes NO sense to me to separate the two)... anyway, that many addicts are actually NEVER in recovery.

They will say "well, i found work" or "im going to meetings" or whatever... and what really makes an addict no longer an active addict is NOT how many meetings you go to or how many days you've been sober/clean...

Its What Is It You Are Doing Differently Now to avoid whatever you did to use?

As in, are you away from the same users? Are you around the same stessors?

If you isolated before, how are you addressin that now?

His position is that many, many addicts simply NEVER really were recovering. That relapse starts LONG BEFORE that first hit or drink...

That the drink over your lips is really just the last signature on a contract long drawn out.

That relapse starts when you begin to enter that same pattern... the lies.. the hiding.. the denial... That is when you began using again, even if you haven't taken anything in... its just a matter of time.

I believe him.

Met him while in voluntary treatment. Id been treated for depression. Turned to cohol when id seemed to be taking care of the rest of the issues... filled the vacuum so to speak. Decided to get some help when it was clear it was just another path to self destruction.

So... I think a lot of things play into addiction. I don't think its all dna and genetics. I do believe there is a balance of environment and biology.

I must say that this is an amazing profound thread. It's wonderful that so many can come together to help another in crisis.

First... To KBC: The patch along with the smokes will cause an increase in blood pressure, migraines, anxiety, sleeplessness, vision problems and prolific dreams. They should not be used together. I speak from experience. It was my optometrist that discovered it was the combination of the two that was causing my problems.

Since we are pouring our hearts out... I too am a recovering addict. Of what particular substance(s), I choose not to reveal.

I was a very high functioning addict. I was the Assistant Superintendent of Schools to a small school district. I was always sober at work. My habit never affected my work, in fact, I received several commendations during my period of addiction. Never missed a day of work, never came in late or left early. I would only partake of my habit on the weekends after 9pm. That was something I stood strong on. Never do it during the work week.

How did I stop my cycle? I moved. I moved over 600 miles away. Away from the people I was hanging out with, away from the influences. Although I have a very addictive personality, quitting was very easy this way. Just one day I decided I was done and I WAS DONE! There was no turning back, but there were cravings. Certain songs on the radio would start the cravings, so I would change the radio station.

Clough, my concern for you is that you are making "friends" with these people at AA. It is important that you maintain boundaries with these people. There is always the risk that if they fall off the wagon that they may bring you with them. As has been my experience it's best to keep a healthy distance with virtually everyone aside from your sponsor.

I also want to mention that with the alcohol gone, your body will begin to crave sugar since a certain form of sugar has been removed from your system. While in recovery my father turned to ice cream as a replacement for a can of beer.

After a month or so of sobriety you will notice that you are sleeping better. Alcohol dehydrates you and causes fitful sleeping. Without alcohol in your system you will rest better.

My prayers are with you Clough... and all of you who have come forward.

My addiction to narcotics was a nightmare and because I hated myself so much at the time it was very easy for me to stay in a very violent and abusive relationship.

Some might say I welcomed the abuse(on an unconscious level)to atone for my feelings of guilt and worthlessness.

I stopped abusing when I was lying on the floor after a severe beating and I saw my then toddler son look at me with such fear and sadness and loss of hope in his eyes ,it was my epiphany.My blessing.

I think you have been given a vast amount of insightful information.
There should be no shame,the only shame is in wasting a life and not getting well.

I am a firm believer in talk therapy and it was a lifesaver for me.Understanding how I got where I was and how I was going to fight the rest of my life to make sure I did not fall back into that life that was not a life at all.

What works for one may fail for another so my only suggestion is to find your niche and learn to celebrate yourself and know you are good and worthy and capable of change.

I applaud your determination and your ability to advocate for yourself.

Sometimes it is one day at a time and sometimes it is one minute at a time but at the end of the day be sure to congratulate yourself for a job well done.

Many blessings to you my friend and big virtual hugs !

I'm very physically, mentally and emotionally tired right now. So, it's hard for me to do the best that I can with posting on this thread. Really have to think about the responses that I'll make. It's equally as hard here to respond as it is to speak at an A.A. meeting for me...

Usually, I'm on this site to relax, have some fun and answer and ask questions that might have more to do with activities and interests that people might need help and share with, like art, business, collectibles and the fine arts. That's just some of them. But, I think that you know what I mean...





CLOUGH!! You are and have been wonderful to me here, no matter what, you just always have. Thank you!
As I understand what you are going through, and what many others have stated. I think this is a great place to receive friendship and advice, and even a few hugs and some love.
Cold turkey for any addiction I ever had. I wish now I would have gone to meetings knowing the good they can do! It would have been a lot easier with a little support and less negativity in my life. I am so happy you have found a place to be comfy, speaking out and showing your face in a vulnerable position is what I say, shows want and courage!
All I can say is that it all goes down hill so fast that you wonder where the important time went and why the important people in your life aren't around anymore. It took one very important person (with another very small person waiting for him at home) to tell me finally after four months of my addiction hell that he "hated" me. That day, I upped and never went back to it again. I said screw you "azzhole" life, I do not want this!
Thank goodness, seriously from the bottom of my heart thank goodness I made that choice. I found the strength to leave the people and the substance that haunted my every day life after that choice!


I have to get off here right now and I wanted to tell everyone how much I loved all these posts. Clough, you are a very UNDERSTANDING, insightful, smart, and nice guy, I appreciate you. I am proud of you! I know it's hard. XXOO

EDIT: I forgot to say that we WILL be supportive of you... the good and the bad. XXOO

Clough,
I so appreciate what you are talking about, and I am sorry if it came off the way it did. I just wanted to say sorry for sounding unsympathetic.
To be continued.

KED-1I hit the wrong key up above and I will have to finish down here.
As I was saying about clough, You will find that he will befreind you and help you out in the tight spots that you( will) come across As you will find out . We have a great bunch of women and men on here as you will find that out also.. Anyhow since you are new on here-I will give you a hello and WELCOME to the site ::: Have a great day and GOD BLESS ::: F.B.E.

Clough,

You need to understand that its OK to be spent... done... wanting input but needing to be still. No apologies needed. This is a good thread. One of the most important one's I've ever been a part of...

Everyone needs to find their own groove.

My biggest demon was never alcohol. It was depression. I have a knack for it. I am not by nature a depressed person... but I've had three Big Loves really do hurtful things, and I seem to channel my irish anger into self destructive modes... that old "depression is anger turned inward" line... don't be mad at the girl, take it out on yourself.

So... I'm pretty damn good at keeping it at bay now, but it took some really deep lows to buy a clue. But again, alcohol became a tool when all other angles were addressed. I was lucky enough to get help before it really became ugly again.

... I'll go for a stretch and be public... talk to others, seek out help... and then I'll draw back.

I do this in about all areas of my life... cycle through levels of engagement. Its just me.

And I've learned not to be apologetic about that. Yes, it might make loved one's nervous when you stop going to a meeting or stop doing whatever it was that was helping you through a time...

But I believe... at least for me... that I need a break from just about everything at some time. I like to change things up. I love to hear from others. But I don't always want to be pushed into something if I don't feel called to be there.

So...

It comes down to trust of self.

I know myself well enough to know when I'm slipping.
I've had enough time and enough failures to know when I'm lying to myself.
And I've been good long enough to love being where I am now.

I just lost the biggest love of my life... in ways I just don't want to get into. It is just horrible when all the details are really laid out. And yet I'm doing pretty damn good.

Its not because I'm being policed or tracked.

Honestly, I don't want to talk to anybody about it right now. I'm even keeled.

I just know enough to know when I'm not BS'ing myself.

So... its fine to start a thread you need to be in touch with when you don't really want to share.

I've been there. I am there, at times.

I will share when I feel called to share.

Danke for this thread. It is needed and it is a big deal. And you are really among friends.

Clough- I hope and pray that tonight you are noticing a great improvement in you problem, I know that you will come out a winnerJUST HAVE FAITH AND TRUST IN OUR LORD JESUS, When the time is right he will answer your prayes and all of our prayes; CRAIG -You have a lot of friends on ask me help desk and we all are standing in your cornerand werer here to give you all the help ,encouragement that you need in your battle . CRAIG - MY FRiend, just don't forget that there is no such word as [CAN'T]; good night and GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ;;F.B.E.

I was addicted to cigarettes. It took me many tries before I was able to kick the habit. I tried patches, gum, lozenges, and pills. Finally I was able to quit for good going cold turkey. I'm so glad I am no longer addicted to nicotine. I used to be addicted to caffeine too. I didn't try to hide it and I was able to quit the first time I tried.

My first husband was a heroin addict. When I met him I had never known anyone before who ever did heroin and I really had no idea what he was dealing with. Luckily for me, heroin made me very sick, so I didn't get addicted to it. Though I did try... I know, I know, dumb teenager! But, seriously, I didn't know any better. I had no idea or concept of what it meant to be addicted to anything. Over the years I became very upset with him for using heroin all the time, every day, that's all he seemed to live for. The romance was gone, to say the least, he told me heroin was his wife and his mistress. He killed himself, very dramatically, on halloween 1982. He shot himself in the head with an old fashion large caliber musket gun, while standing in our sons bedroom. It was terrible how that all happened... we argued and fought all the time because I would get so upset about his constant drug use. I couldn't understand it. His mother enable him by giving him money for drugs and sometimes she even drove him to the drug dealer's house AND paid for the heroin herself. I know she was just trying to keep her son from robbing people to support his habit, but at the time I couldn't understand even that much.

Since then, I've gone to lots of AA meetings with other friends who were recovering from drug or alcohol addiction. I never got addicted to anything other than cigarettes and coffee, but I stopped both of those. I agree with KISS here about addiction having a genetic predisposition. I believe I did not inherit the tendency to become addicted to substances, though I can become addicted if I use something often enough, repeatedly.

I believe AA works for a lot of people. I have enjoyed going to many meetings with some of my closest friends through life. I would say that going to AA meetings is a good place to start if you are struggling with an addiction.

I think my addiction to cigarettes was a strong addiction, and I imagine most addictions are the same. I think I can safely say most people who are in recovery will continue to have occasions where they feel an urge to use (whatever their addiction was). I know that after over 3 yrs of not smoking, I still occasionally feel like smoking a cigarette. The difference is that now that I am not addicted to nicotine, it is just a passing thought, not a compulsion. I can't imagine actually smoking a cigarette ever again! Though there is the rare moment where it is a passing thought. I don't do it though, mostly, because I'm afraid that if I would I might smoke another one. Then before I knew it, I'd be addicted all over again. I think that is pretty much the same for almost anyone addicted to any drug or drink.

Time between last use and today helps. The more time that goes by, the easier it gets. Congratulations to everyone who has fought an addiction and to all those who are in recovery! And to anyone still trying or anyone in the early stages of quitting an addiction, keep trying!

3 weeks?

I am in a wondering mind today friend, how have things been for you?

Have the urges taken their toll on you?Or are you staying the path set before you?

Clough, Flying Blue Eagle, I'm trying to find my original answer, so I can quote myself. But it is my "...it wasn't helpful to me". So, I wasn't being hard on him, I was talking about how it affected me. I know how it would sound that way.

Clough, we haven't heard from you in a while. How are things going with you?

A lot of people to respond to on here!

Thread also wasn't intended to be centered around myself. Maybe a part of it, but not all of it. Was supposed to be a group effort here for support for anyone.

Also, no one here truly knows what's going on in someone else's life, nor has everyone who posts on this thread been in a 12 step or maybe other kind of program. So, some of the opinions come off as being assuming and judgemental without the person posting really knowing what's going on or how things are supposed to work for the person who might be in a program.

A lot of people hurt who are also in some kind of recovery. Not all recovery programs are the same.

Comments have been appreciated by me, and I will respond, in kind. However, please review what I've written in the paragraphs above.

Later...

Clough, I hope I didn't offend you. I hope no one offended you.

We have had our addictions and our own recoveries. We are here to help others through theirs as well. That includes you or anyone else on the boards.

Sorry to have offended. I will unsubscribe now.

I sure hope I didn't offend anyone either. I hope someone gets help with their problem by reading such posts as these.

A lot of people to respond to on here!

Thread also wasn't intended to be centered around myself. Maybe a part of it, but not all of it. Was supposed to be a group effort here for support for anyone.

Also, no one here truly knows what's going on in someone else's life, nor has everyone who posts on this thread been in a 12 step or maybe other kind of program. So, some of the opinions come off as being assuming and judgemental without the person posting really knowing what's going on or how things are supposed to work for the person who might be in a program.

A lot of people hurt who are also in some kind of recovery. Not all recovery programs are the same.

Comments have been appreciated by me, and I will respond, in kind. However, please review what I've written in the paragraphs above.

Later...

To tell the truth, now that I am home and have had the time to re-read this thread, I am slightly offended by the above post. I was simply being friendly and asking how things were going. The question was asked here as well:


3 weeks?

I am in a wondering mind today friend,,how have things been for you?

Have the urges taken their toll on you?Or are you staying the path set before you?

And was not responded to. I was only hoping that everything was okay.

Now, I will unsubscribe.

Hi Clough,

I would never want to hurt you... I think we all feel that way.

Hang in there Clough! I haven't known you long but from what I've seen, you are strong, courageous, compassionate, kind, and very brave. You are right that no one truly knows what someone else's life is like, or what all they are dealing with... but we get glimpses into each others lives through reading these posts. When you are experiencing a lot of anxiety, sometimes going to a quiet place and taking some slow deep breaths can be calming. Take time for yourself, you are the most important person in your life! Reactions to stress such as anger, worry, fear, regret or ruminating won't help you feel any better, nor will it solve the stress triggers. Though it is not easy to break the stress response habit, you can do it. You can train yourself to choose a different response when stressful events happen in your life. A lot of people find they can get relief through meditation, prayer, self-hypnosis, empowering thoughts, and positive self talk. It also helps to learn to recognize the difference between things you can change, and things you cannot change; as well, things that are your responsibility and things that are not.

I don't think anyone is here to hurt you. I think we are all here to help and support each other, as well as anyone else asking for answers. That being said, I think that often when someone is quitting an addiction their emotions are on a roller coaster, and emotional responses can be hair trigger. Remember always that you are the most important person in your life. You have a lot of strengths and it is those strengths that are going to get you to a better place.

Here are some links that might help you begin to deal with stress in a way that is not so taxing on your well being, *I don't mean to assume you have any of these problems, specifically, just that these relaxation techniques may help you feel better and accomplish your goals:



Relaxation Techniques for Stress Relief: Relaxation Exercises and Tips (http://helpguide.org/mental/stress_relief_meditation_yoga_relaxation.htm)



6 Effective Relaxation Techniques For Anxiety (http://ezinearticles.com/?6-Effective-Relaxation-Techniques-For-Anxiety&id=3792303)



The Top 4 Anxiety Relaxation Techniques (http://www.articlesbase.com/stress-management-articles/the-top-4-anxiety-relaxation-techniques-569215.html)



Learn to meditate: Free techniques in how to meditate (http://www.learn-to-meditate.com/)



Breathing Meditations | How to Meditate (http://www.how-to-meditate.org/breathing-meditations.htm/)



Breathe Right : Breathing Exercises : Discovery Health (http://health.discovery.com/centers/althealth/deepbreath/deepbreathe.html)



I'd also like to add, it is my belief, that often when things are taken wrong or someone ends up offended in the course of online communications that often it is the result of misreading or misunderstanding, or other difficulty related to the written word without benefit of face to face communications.

This is not meant to offend anyone.

Wishing you all the best,
Sharlene

I think it is really wonderful of you to do what you are doing. It is so helpful.

Clough-It's been a week or more since I have heard from you band I am getting a little worried
I hope qand pray that you are OK,I think that now I know what you went through when I was playing hooky{HA HA }{ IN THE HOSPITAL] I DO HOPE THAT YOU ARE STILL IN THE imPROVEING STAGES,and things are getting better.IF you OK and feel like it, drop me a post, EVEN IF IT'S JUST A HELLO< I will understand ;; Have a better night and a better day tomorrow and MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU;; YOUR Friend -F.B.E.

I can see that you're looking at this thread, fuzznuttski.

Your insights and opinions would be very welcomed here!

Thanks!

I can see that you're looking at this thread, fuzznuttski.



That sounds creepy, almost stalker like. Just sayin' ;)

That sounds creepy, almost stalker like. Just sayin' ;)

2nd.

Originally Posted by Clough
I can see that you're looking at this thread, fuzznuttski.


That sounds creepy, almost stalker like. Just sayin' ;)

Yup! Shore does! :D

k.

Time for me to unsubscribe from this thread.

You have the superpower of reading currently active users viewing this thread.

Again... that seemed a little creepy and off topic. Just saying.

Out.

Actually, he watches people on virtually ALL threads.

I, too, am unsubscribing to this thread. It's just too creepy for me as well.

As far as I can tell, ANYONE can see "Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread" listed on the right side of every post.