OK, well I'm a 19 yr old male who is maddly in love... now my problem is with my "ex girlfriend" she is 18 and we have been seeing each other for two years... in the beiginining of the relationship it was great and no problems... but then a few months in I began cheatin on her with numerous girl exactly 5 diff. girls... she found out because I got caught and she broke up wit me afta each time but she always took me back because I sai di would change... well finally afta the 5th time I did CHANGE... its been 9 months and I ahvent even attempted talking to another girl... me and her have been on and off and right now were off takig space is what she wants to call it... she can't trust me an di understand that but I know I'm a gret catch and she knows I do love her and I know a part of her believe I have changed... but now she thinks she needs this space.. which I don't understand because its been 9mths I haven't cheated on her she finnally gets what she wants and now she says we need some space... but we still talk and see each other she just doeant want the relatinship thing... and theother night me and her hung out and I found out she had talked and chilled with another guy which they didn't do anything but hang out at a club... and she swears she wants nothing to do with him and she wants to be with me but still wants some space... im getting hurt now because instead of blowin up and getting mad I understand I deserved her talking to another guy because I what I had done in the past an di explained that to her and she was surprised for me to not go crazy over her talking to another guy instead I took it for what it was and told her I can TRUST her and I do want to be with her and want to make her happy... I just want to know if I am just waistin my time and should just move on because she will never trust me again or shoul di wait around and give her space and try to make things work... hoppeelsssy in LOVE please help me out

Hi! Well, firstly, I have to really compliment your girlfriend in taking you back all those times... I could never do that... For the record, cheating is a very terrible thing... I think the time off will be good for you and the relationship and may also bring your girlfriend to trust you again. If I were you, I would send little signs to her to make her feel special and keep in mind that you have "changed". Have you thought about why you cheated on her?? Do not constantly go after her, but send her flowers or a romantic email.. something to just keep in her head to make her think about you and trust you. Sometimes a relationship counselor can help if they two of you want to make it and really love each other. She of course has to aggree with this, but I have seen it done before, and the relationships do work out. You seem like you really love this girl and if she trully sees that you have changed and she could rebuild her trust which will take a lot of you to show her, then I see every chance of you fixing this relationship. I have a post on here as well!

You're a great catch??

Ha ha

You have cheated on your girlfriend 5 times. Great catch!

C'mon man, this girl will never be bale to trust you and nor should she.

And without trust you have nothing.

Time for you to be single for a while and work out why you feel the need to exploit the trust placed in you by another person.

You have some serious issues that need sorting before you are in any form of relationship!

So yes, you are wasting your time and yes, you should move on!

That is my answer to your question.

Good luck!


Hi! Well, firstly, I have to really compliment your girlfriend in taking you back all those times... I could never do that....For the record, cheating is a very terrible thing... I think the time off will be good for you and the relationship and may also bring your girlfriend to trust you again. If i were you, I would send little signs to her to make her feel special and keep in mind that you have "changed". Have you thought about why you cheated on her??? Do not constantly go after her, but send her flowers or a romantic email.. something to just keep in her head to make her think about you and trust you. Sometimes a relationship counselor can help if they two of you want to make it and really love each other. She ofcourse has to aggree with this, but I have seen it done before, and the relationships do work out. You seem like you really love this girl and if she trully sees that you have changed and she could rebuild her trust which will take a lot of you to show her, then I see every chance of you fixing this relationship. I have a post on here as well!

How does he seem like he really loves this girl??

He has cheated on her 5 times at least.

Is that love?

Sorry, but I see no chance of fixing this relationship!

Are you serious... Dude! How many times have you cheated on this young woman 5 times (come on now it was more than 5 times you must be trying to play a good guy here)?

Another question: hopelessly in love with whom the one that got away? What will you do if you catch her again... Cheat again?

You are 19 years old and the whole world of girls is out there for you to treat like a buffet table.

Go and enjoy yourself and next time... tell the next girl that you do not want to be tried down. Tell the next girl that if she sees you in the mall do not get upset with the fact that you are with another girl... for you are single and young and free. (That is what this guy said to me and I said this guy is full of himself... we been married for over 25+ years.)

Oh, before I forget go to the doctor and have yourself checked for STD and AIDS... this is no joke. For every woman you had sex with... you are sleeping with whatever she had slept with. Busy boys should know this!

Leave the young lady alone and you move on.

I have to agree with the above-- you're a great catch... OMFG!! :eek: A great catch would screw around 5 times one the "one" he's truly in love with.


'Nough said. :cool:

OK well there were reasons I had cheated (just so you know we wernet together at these times I just considered it cheating because were still talkin) on the girl she didn't appreciate me... firstly I'm an 19 but I'm on the verge of becoming partner in a sale and marketing firm... and I make over 150,000 a year and when I was really in need of her support she was only being a to me and that was before she knew about me cheatin the funny thing was that I cheated on her and she realized what she had and began to treat me better but she always went back to being a to me so I went back to cheating... but I realzied afta the 5th time I was in love with this girl because I could never get her out my mind, also I always choe to be with her instead of these other girls that were equaly as beautiful they just didn't have my heart like she did and I would do whatever could be done to make her happy so I chose to grow up and focus all my energy on her and try to start a trustin relationship again... but it seems like I still don't deserve the way she treats me I put up with it for the 9mths and feel like I paid my dues and its time for her to start treating me good again and showing me she cares because I won't hurt her again... and I know once a cheater always a cheater... but you know what I feel like me and her have something that could last a lifetime and am willing to do what it takes to get through this rough stage... right now she is all the willing to being with me but just wants some space since we always hung out with each other all the time... which I don't mind at all I think it can only bring us closer... so I dk I know it looks like I ruined it all but me and her both did things to get to this point and I just want me and her to work out and be happy I really am a great catch too I wassnt 9 months ago but like I said have grown a lot and on the path to becoming very successful and am just looking for someone to to support me to help me get to were I want to be... and no I'm not selffish she also has large dreams and I plan on doing everything in my power to support her and get her to were she wants to be so we can both fulfill our dreams and be happy... plus I forgot to mention I have gotten her pregnant the first itme she miscarried the second we chose for an abortion... and I feel as if this was to happen again I would choose to go forth and have a baby with her because maybe that might be what it takes for you to trust I am ready for a truly committed relationship... pleasseeee help me with this.. ia m very bad at explaining things in writing so I'm sry

LMFAO-- :eek:

1st off: I can hardly understand your posts, you need to learn grammar better and you need to use spell check. If you are becoming a partner in a business and you making 150,000 per year (ya right) then these two things are essential.

2nd: You have gotten you pregnant twice and the second time you told her to get an abortion--holy $hit you are a catch!!

Move on--let her find someone else. :mad:

Time for a reality check!

You deserve to be on your own for a while.


she found out because i got caught and she broke up wit me afta each time but she always took me back because i sai di would change


You almost sound like you regret she found out.


she can't trust me an di understand that but i know im a gret catch and she knows i do love her and i know a part of her believe i have changed

What makes you think you are a good catch? Did the fact that you cheated on her 5 times slip your mind??

Without sounding too harsh because I know you are recognising what you did is wrong. Maybe you could be a good catch once you realise that doing this to a woman is very wrong and put more value into what it really means to be in a serious relationship with someone.

But lets be realistic here, you did this not once, not twice, not even three of four times, but 5 times...

I feel sorry for her, sorry for the fact that she let it happen to her, but also sorry for the fact that she was naïve enough to believe you when you said you would change without taking any real time out to work on making those changes.


she can't trust me

I don't blame her!


and the other night me and her hung out and i found out she had talked and chilled with another guy which they didnt do anythin but hang out at a club...and she swears she wants nothin to do with him and she wants to be with me but still wants some space

She has every right to be with who she wants to be with. You sound as if you think she will cheat on you.. But get this...

You are 'off' now as you say which to me sounds like a break, separation, whatever you want to call it.. So what she does now is her business.. and if she did do anything, she would not be cheating!


im getin hurt now because instead of blowin up and gettin mad i understand i deserved her talkin to anothe guy because i wat i had done in the past an di explained taht to her and she was surprised for me to not go crazy over her talkin to another guy instead i took it for what it was and told her i can TRUST her and i do want to be wiht her and want to make her happy

Ahhh, well that's good, I read on and at least you understand that you cannot get angry that she TALKS to someone else! And good that you took it for what it was.


i just want to know if i am just waistin my time and should just move on because she will never trust me again or shoul di wait around and give her space and try to make things work....hoppeelsssy in LOVE please help me out

I think you have some issues and you need to understand that you cannot do this to someone and expect instant forgiveness every time. Now that she tells you she wants space, you say you have changed..

Have you really? How much longer when the dust has settled before you find the urge to do it again?

O.K, if you have really changed, then fair enough, I ask, what made you change, just the fact that she said she wanted space?

Guilt?

What motivated you to change? And what did you do to make these changes? Or did they just materialize out of thin air?

Sorry if I sound harsh, I am just giving you my honest opinion.. There is always a chance for people to change if they really want to but it takes time and effort and real self-reflection.

I think perhaps it would be a good idea for you to take so real long time out from any relationship to sort these issues out.

....firstly im an 19 but im on the verge of becoming partner in a sale and marketing firm .....and i amke over 150,000 a year .Uh no I don't think so. Owners of companies usually can type, spell and use proper grammar. Perhaps the problem is that you live in a wonderful fantasy world.

I don't believe the facts given, I don't see a sincere question, I believe its only purpose is a game and posting to it only makes it continue. If what I'm suggesting seems accurate to you, the only way to solve it is to refrain from further posting at all. Its sad what anonymity does to some people.

I believe that Val took the words out of my mouth. First of all if this is all true and your legit. You're a scumbag @#$%&*% @## @#*&%.

I do not believe it is a legit question eighter. Your playing games with all of us and val called you out, as I wanted to after reading your posts.

Nice scam but it does not work. If you were really that type of person one of these girls would have already killed you.

Joe

It's called a troll (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll). Spend enough time on the 'net and you run into them often.

OK... firstly yes I do make well over 150,000 a year... secondly I'm in sales and I have very intellectual vocabulary and I don't feel as if this has anything to do with the conversation I only brought up the fact to give some background information... also I didn't just change based on the fact she wants space... after the 5th time I changed and me and her were together for 9months and I had changed and then she pulled the I want some space out of no where... and I have realized to give her the upmost respect and deal with her iness since inside I felt as if I deserved being treated like for I'm sure I will never understand how my mess ups had tortured her... my real question is me and her both love each other and we both want each other... WE BOTH messed up in the past me cheating and her not treating me like she should have (just so everyone knows she admits she didn't treat me as good as she should have and realizes that's why I went elsewhere looking for someone to treat me good and she understands that) but now its 9months later since the last time I cheated and I have done nothing but make her happy... and all of sudden she wants space but her mind changes everyday since last night we spent the all day together watching movies laughing and yea being intimate... and that's when I found out about this other guy she had talked to.. which before I would have went crazy and probably beat the living out of the kid but I have changed and grown and understand I was just getting back what I did I believe strongly in karma so that's why instead I told her that I just wanted her to tell me the whole truth about what happened and I promised I wouldn't even raise my voice or get mad yes upset but not "bug out"... to show her that I have grown and understand if I don't treat her the best someone else will... I know I sound like the worst guy ever which I admit I WAS and I wish I had a time machine to go back and fix all my mistakes but no one is perfect an d I truly feel as if I have my mistakes and learned my lessons which have only made me a much stronger person now... and the fact is she does know this and she knows I have changed and I honestly feel as if she just doesn't want to get hurt again and I want her to take risk even though I know it may be to late... but we are madly in love and also I never told her to have the abortion I actually felt very strongly against the fact she wanted to forth with it but she doesn't want that to hold her life bak right now and her parents had a large decision in that I was all for having both children... I was a pre-school teacher throughout high school and love children and she knows I can't wait to be a father... the reason being I say I'm a great cath also,, I'm very good looking,, have a great future ahead of me,, I have made every mistake possible and have learned many lessons... as well everyone I meet would think I was at least 25 based on the fact how I hold a ocnversation and my maturity level I no longer think like a teenage boy and put sex ahead of everything... im planning on purchasing a new home this coming up year as well as becoming a partner with my firm... and all I want is to have my girl back to where she wants to show me how much she loves me without thinking I will hurt her again... maybe my case is very different to everyone else's since there has been so much that's has happened with in these 2 past years there would be no possible way to explain every event... but honestly how can I or what can I do to show her she can trust me... I have offered to purchase a 3 karat diamond ring as onlyl a promise to the love I have for her... and she didn't say yes or no so I wasn't sure I should just surprise her... that I would like a girls advice on... I am willing and have changed for the BEST... I just want the support and the feeling that I am being treated the way I deserve to be treated

Sorry, don't want to read that huge run-on sentence - perhaps you can get your personal admin to make proper sentences for you.

Make it stop it's hurting my eyes!!

Why is everyone so unhelpful I thought this was to help not criticise writing and spelling and techniques... I chose to write in a short form so its easier and faster for me to type if anyone really wants to help please let me know I will give you my email and maybe then I can better explai the situation from beginning to end in more detail... pleasse I just need some help

It is not only your spelling and sentences but your unbelievable story. No one believes you bud.

We believe in the Honesty (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Honesty) and Integrity (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=Integrity) of our members.
Misrepresntation (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=Misrepresentation) is not only in Violation (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Violation) of the TOS (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_faq_rules) but also Engenders (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=engenders) Contempt (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/contempt) towards the asker.
The use of proper English ISN'T an Optional (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=optional) extra for use of this site, it is a Prerequisite. (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=prerequisite)
The use of bad grammar and chat speak is seriously frowned upon.
Please type in Coherent (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=coherent) Sentences (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=sentence).

Thank you for your time.


Ps I have hot linked the words you may have problems with.

I do not understand what is so unbeliveable this all happened... like... what seems to be untrue I'm sry people but I have a life and wouldn't waste my time... I just wanted some advice on this since none of my friends could give me advice since they have nevver been in this situation

There are some of us who have made mistakes, I cheated on my girlfriend once and she won't have anything to do with me, I'm honestly sorry for what I have done and have learnt my lesson by not being with the one true person who I love due to one moment of madness, why don’t you just grow up and stop wasting the time of real people on here who actually need some help.

I don't understand the reason why u could be telling lies here. So if u are sincere and truly love her just be with her, make her feel that u will never leave her. Don't talk, just act. If u are truly in love u will know what to do. Always be there when she needs u, make her feel that she's the only one and special. Do the things that make her happy(u should know those things,if not it is not late to learn now). But act quietly, make her feel that she deserves everything you do for her.Good job and money doesn't mean that u are ready for love and relationships. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance,even the third one. Only if u are going to hurt her again, you'd better think before. Someday you'll regret.))))))))If u really feel it, you'll do it.

No comment. I can't tell you anything that you don't know, but if I could I would rep everyone here ,BUT YOU!!

Firstly, I will start with a little background information. My girlfriend(18)(she is half italian half irish I know what a mix) and I (19) (100% indian from INDIA)have been dating for the past two years. As with every couple we have had our ups and OUR DOWNS... but we always seemed to work things out and get back together. Till, recently my girlfriend has just been acting differently, I feel a difference in the way she feels towards me lets call it a GUT feeling. Now she finally came out and told me she wants some space because we were hanging out with each other on a daily basis. Which for the last year she graduated school and was unemployed till just recently she is working m-f 9am-4pm and I work m-f 9am-1pm in the morning and 5pm-9pm at night a sat 9am-1pm. So as you can see we haven't been able to see each other as much but she still feels as if we do and that I hold her back from hanging out with her friends. And I understood the concern and dealt with her hanging out with her friends more often but she still wanted this so called SPACE, Now I am very hurt, I love her with all my heart, I just want her to be happy and I don't know what to do should I give her time and not call her just wait for her to call me. Since every time she says she wants space I ask her if she wants me to move on and if she cares if I talk to other females and her immeddiate response is she still wants to be with me just not right now so I take that as she doesn't want me to move on just linger around waiting for her. And she did invite me to go with her to a new years party her dad invited her to so I don't know why she would invite me if she wants space... ya know? But how long is the space thing last for... Anyone know how long is too long and any advice from experience. Also, it is very hard for me to stop thinking about her I can't get her out of my mind and to resist not to call her is VERY VERY HARD... PLEASE HELP ME

Your gut tells you that mayebe she seen someone else ?

Firstly, I will start off with a little background information. My girlfriend(18)(she is half italian half irish i know what a mix) and I (19) (100% indian from INDIA)have been dating for the past two years. As with every couple we have had our ups and OUR DOWNS....but we always seemed to work things out and get back together. Till, recently my girlfriend has just been acting differently, I feel a difference in the way she feels towards me lets call it a GUT feeling. Now she finally came out and told me she wants some space because we were hanging out with each other on a daily basis. Which for the last year she graduated school and was unemployed till just recently she is working m-f 9am-4pm and i work m-f 9am-1pm in the morning and 5pm-9pm at nite a sat 9am-1pm. So as u can see we havent been able to see each other as much but she still feels as if we do and that i hold her back from hanging out with her friends. And i understood the concern and dealt with her hanging out with her friends more often but she still wanted this so called SPACE, Now i am very hurt, i love her with all my heart, i just want her to be happy and i dont knwo what to do should i give her time and not call her just wait for her to call me. Since everytime she says she wants space i ask her if she wants me to move on and if she cares if i talk to other females and her immeddiate response is she still wants to be with me just not right now so i take that as she doesnt want me to move on just linger around waiting for her. And she did invite me to go with her to a new years party her dad invited her to so i dont know why she would invite me if she wants space...ya know? But how long is the space thing last for....Anyone know how long is too long and any advice frome experience. also, it is very hard for me to stop thinking about her i can't get her out of my mind and to resist not to call her is VERY VERY HARD...PLEASE HELP ME
She not seeing somebody... that isn't it... if it was it would make things much easier... that why this is so complicated because there isn't somebody else she just wants some space.

OK. When is nobody else there than the only think you can do is to give space if she wanted .You was to pushy , needie with her?

Yea I can admit I was too needy and relied on her a lot to always be there for me when I wasn't working... but is it to late now or can I change that and will she want me back?

Come on you told that she invited you to this party. She want to go with You. If she ask you to go don't seems like a break up.Mayebe she have another issues you don't know.
But doesn't look like a break up to me. All you can do now is to respect his wish and to give space .With patience you resolve much more now than to be pushy.

Thnks I've known that I have to give her space its just very hard for me to not call her but I'm going to try my hardest and see were it goes.

It is hard, I know , but is the wisest think you can do right now.In fact is the only option for you right now. If you insist and push you push her from you.You must to respect what she want, even if is hard to you.Have faith and good luck.

Tell me this the girl you have cheated?

Yes I have cheated in that past.. but me and her knew at the time our relationship wasn't the best and she chose to forgive me that was 8 months ago since then I have been perfect no cheating

Man.
When you cheat someone repeatedly inside this person take place a battle :hate and love. And when the love is higher than the hate is a same higher .Even if she/he forgive you, this hate bite permanently and erode the feelings she has heaved for you .Is not a little think you erase with sponge with one move.In the end I don't now if remain something .
Or at least something good I believe. I think she need this space to clear his mind.
What will happened ? I don't now.The New Year party seems to be a good news for you .

Firstly, I will start off with a little background information. My girlfriend(18)(she is half italian half irish i know what a mix) and I (19) (100% indian from INDIA)have been dating for the past two years. As with every couple we have had our ups and OUR DOWNS....but we always seemed to work things out and get back together. Till, recently my girlfriend has just been acting differently, I feel a difference in the way she feels towards me lets call it a GUT feeling. Now she finally came out and told me she wants some space because we were hanging out with each other on a daily basis. Which for the last year she graduated school and was unemployed till just recently she is working m-f 9am-4pm and i work m-f 9am-1pm in the morning and 5pm-9pm at nite a sat 9am-1pm. So as u can see we havent been able to see each other as much but she still feels as if we do and that i hold her back from hanging out with her friends. And i understood the concern and dealt with her hanging out with her friends more often but she still wanted this so called SPACE, Now i am very hurt, i love her with all my heart, i just want her to be happy and i dont knwo what to do should i give her time and not call her just wait for her to call me. Since everytime she says she wants space i ask her if she wants me to move on and if she cares if i talk to other females and her immeddiate response is she still wants to be with me just not right now so i take that as she doesnt want me to move on just linger around waiting for her. And she did invite me to go with her to a new years party her dad invited her to so i dont know why she would invite me if she wants space...ya know? But how long is the space thing last for....Anyone know how long is too long and any advice frome experience. also, it is very hard for me to stop thinking about her i can't get her out of my mind and to resist not to call her is VERY VERY HARD...PLEASE HELP ME
If you love her give her space because if you don't it will push her away more. Let her go do what she needs to do, if dating somebody else is what she needs, let her. I will hurt bad at first but stay in contact with her. Don't call her so she will miss you . U an excuse to text her maybe once a week and be short with her. You have to show that you still care but don't over do it because she'll know she has you by the balls and will continue to search for something else. Good luck

Good advice... im really going to take it because I know it what I need to do because if I keep chasin her she going to see me as too needy and find another guy... so I guess I'm going to pay the game and she want happens thnks for the advice it actually make me feel better now that I talked about it and got it off my chest

After 2 years where is the communications between you to? She wants space give it two her, and make sure your getting your own life together, to give balance to your life. It sounds as though all you do is about her, and that is so not good, so find things that you like, and enjoy your time without her. If you knew yourself better you would not be running her away by depending on her to be there for you all the time and she is tired of that.

Well I do fully understand and agree with that also understand I work from basically 7:30 in the morning to 9pm at night m-f and I work sat 9am-1pm so there isn't much time where I do get to spend... and this was something that recently happened I used to only work m-f 5pm-9pm and sat 9am-1pm and that's when I think it became too much but now since my work schedule has inceased greatly due to a recent promotion to become partner with the firm I don't have as much time to be up her asss could you say. And this all greatly affects me at work as well and is not a good thing for me I need to let her go and give her this space and I feel it will benefit her as well as myself. The HARD part is just reminding myself this and sticking to it which I know is my weakness so does anybody have advice on how to keep myself focused on giving her space and not given into calling her??

Firstly, I will start off with a little background information. My girlfriend(18)(she is half italian half irish i know what a mix) and I (19) (100% indian from INDIA)have been dating for the past two years. As with every couple we have had our ups and OUR DOWNS....but we always seemed to work things out and get back together. Till, recently my girlfriend has just been acting differently, I feel a difference in the way she feels towards me lets call it a GUT feeling. Now she finally came out and told me she wants some space because we were hanging out with each other on a daily basis. Which for the last year she graduated school and was unemployed till just recently she is working m-f 9am-4pm and i work m-f 9am-1pm in the morning and 5pm-9pm at nite a sat 9am-1pm. So as u can see we havent been able to see each other as much but she still feels as if we do and that i hold her back from hanging out with her friends. And i understood the concern and dealt with her hanging out with her friends more often but she still wanted this so called SPACE, Now i am very hurt, i love her with all my heart, i just want her to be happy and i dont knwo what to do should i give her time and not call her just wait for her to call me. Since everytime she says she wants space i ask her if she wants me to move on and if she cares if i talk to other females and her immeddiate response is she still wants to be with me just not right now so i take that as she doesnt want me to move on just linger around waiting for her. And she did invite me to go with her to a new years party her dad invited her to so i dont know why she would invite me if she wants space...ya know? But how long is the space thing last for....Anyone know how long is too long and any advice frome experience. also, it is very hard for me to stop thinking about her i can't get her out of my mind and to resist not to call her is VERY VERY HARD...PLEASE HELP ME
Well new update... now I have found out that she has been talking to another guy which I confronter her about it and at first she lied to me and said she wasn't talking to guy at 1:12 in the morning this morning 12-10 and said it was one of her friends who called her up crying and at 12:30 me and her were tlakin on the phone and she said she was tired and wanted to sleep so I let her go then I called her back at 1:00 because I had to ask her something and I knew she was on the phone then 10 minutes later she calls me and I ask who she was talking to and she says her friend. Then in the morning around 10:00 I was work and called her and told her id rather know the truth about who she was on the phone witch because I had a gut instinct she was lying to me she then told me it was this kid RYan who she swears is just a new friend and he had caalled her from what she says. And she said she had lied because I would think something else or more was going on then just friends and I would then go and be with other girls and be intimate. SO I don't know what to do I feel so hurt and empty inside. Is this just a part of the SPACE thing or is she moving on and should I? Or should I wait patiently and she where this goes with her. Im very unsure and I do love her to death and want her to be happy I just wish it was with me> PLEASE HELP ME

Sorry buddy.

well new update....now i have found out that she has been talking to another guy which i confronter her about it and at first she lied to me and said she wasnt talkin to guy at 1:12 in the morning this morning 12-10 and said it was one of her friends who called her up crying and at 12:30 me and her were tlakin on the phone and she said she was tired and wanted to sleep so i let her go then i called her back at 1:00 because i had to ask her something and i knew she was on the phone then 10 mins later she calls me and i ask who she was talkin to and she says her friend. Then in the morning around 10:00 i was work and called her and told her id rather know the truth about who she was on the phone witch because i had a gut instinct she was lying to me she then told me it was this kid RYan who she swears is just a new friend and he had caalled her from what she says. And she said she had lied because i would think something else or more was going on then jsut friends and i would then go and be with other girls and be intimate. SO i dont know what to do i feel so hurt and empty inside. Is this just a part of the SPACE thing or is she moving on and should I? or should i wait patiently and she where this goes with her. Im very unsure and i do love her to death and want her to be happy i just wish it was with me> PLEASE HELP ME
Should I believe that guy is just a friend... I don't understand why she would still want to hold on to me if there is a new guy... I know her and this guy haven't done anything YET so is that a good sign since I know they hung out a couple times at a club but she would always leave the club and hang out with me and sleep at my house... im confused

Maybe is nothing there.
What you gut telling you right now.without thinking too much. Just your instinct?

Come on buddy..

Wwsv,

Well yeah your in a pretty difficult situation here. You say you love her, yet you also seem to want to move on.. but I also see that as not wanting to hang on and be hurt... which I can respect.

It seems as though she may be talking to his other guy, and curious if someone else is out there... so that pretty much says you don't have her full attention.

But I don't necessarily that is the end for you guys. I would say you can try to stand be as the understanding boyfriend that you have been... but if thins don't come around in a week or so, I would suggest moving on. She may be feeling crowded, and just wants some time to breath an evaluate her feelings for you... but she should not take so long that you are sitting in the sidelines waiting for weeks/months... if she is going to start talking 'seriously' to other guys, then she should let you go.

As for you, there are many things you can do to create your own life. What do you like to do? You said you work a lot.. you didn't mention working out- like at the gym, but I think it's a good way to spend time. It helps get frustrations out, build self confidence... and gets you to meet other people. Maybe you want to try something new, like a martial arts class, or cooking... these al might sound stupid... but I'm just trying to throw ideas out there:)

My hobby has been coming here and giving advice.. haha pathetic I know, but I can't do much else while here in the Middle East.

Ok well I am actually really sleepy right now.. I just wanted to encourage you real quick to continue fighting the urge to call her. The last thing you want to do is push her away. If you an handle giving her space, and continue to communicate decently... then I would say to hold on for a little longer...

Best of luck~

Nope.It is not good time to NC right now. I believe you must to reitarate the fact you love her truly and you sorry a lot about your mistakes and lies never has helped somebody as she knows.Not a begg but as statement .

Firstly, I will start off with a little background information. My girlfriend(18)(she is half italian half irish i know what a mix) and I (19) (100% indian from INDIA)have been dating for the past two years. As with every couple we have had our ups and OUR DOWNS....but we always seemed to work things out and get back together. Till, recently my girlfriend has just been acting differently, I feel a difference in the way she feels towards me lets call it a GUT feeling. Now she finally came out and told me she wants some space because we were hanging out with each other on a daily basis. Which for the last year she graduated school and was unemployed till just recently she is working m-f 9am-4pm and i work m-f 9am-1pm in the morning and 5pm-9pm at nite a sat 9am-1pm. So as u can see we havent been able to see each other as much but she still feels as if we do and that i hold her back from hanging out with her friends. And i understood the concern and dealt with her hanging out with her friends more often but she still wanted this so called SPACE, Now i am very hurt, i love her with all my heart, i just want her to be happy and i dont knwo what to do should i give her time and not call her just wait for her to call me. Since everytime she says she wants space i ask her if she wants me to move on and if she cares if i talk to other females and her immeddiate response is she still wants to be with me just not right now so i take that as she doesnt want me to move on just linger around waiting for her. And she did invite me to go with her to a new years party her dad invited her to so i dont know why she would invite me if she wants space...ya know? But how long is the space thing last for....Anyone know how long is too long and any advice frome experience. also, it is very hard for me to stop thinking about her i can't get her out of my mind and to resist not to call her is VERY VERY HARD...PLEASE HELP ME
You said she was unemployed until recently. Hmm. So, were you giving or providing any financial assistance in the time she was without employment? I am being the devils advocate here. Was she playing you? She has no money and you are her knight in shining armor. Helping with bills and taking her out. Now she has a job. Maybe she has new "friends". Now that she is self sufficient she doesn't need or want the help.

You said she was unemployed until recently. Hmm. So, were you giving or providing any financial assistance in the time she was without employment? I am being the devils advocate here. Was she playing you? She has no money and you are her knight in shining armor. Helping with bills and taking her out. Now she has a job. Maybe she has new "friends". Now that she is self sufficient she doesn't need or want the help.
Yea I wish that, but she never liked me to buy her things she always wanted to get things on her own, her grandmother is very well off and gave me money when needed. I don't know what to do anymore I'm just hurt and I love her very much and don't want to move on but I don't want to hurt anymore its so hard to stay trying to be with her

OK well I'm trying to focus on new things, and there is this one girl that I have been with in the past she's the girl I cheated on my ex girlfriend with... my ex girlfriend told me when she said she wanted space that if she heard anything about me talking even saying hi to this girl she would never talk to me again. So I was wondering should I disregard that and hang out with this girl. Im scared because if my ex finds out I know she will def hate me for good but I'm bored and tired of waiting and not doing anything and this girl is very very attractive... so I'm confused should I just keep on waiting and see if me and my ex are def EX'S or just forget about it and have this other girl come over tonight?

OK well I'm trying to focus on new things, and there is this one girl that I have been with in the past she's the girl I cheated on my ex girlfriend with... my ex girlfriend told me when she said she wanted space that if she heard anything about me talking even saying hi to this girl she would never talk to me again. So iwas wondering should I disregard that and hang out with this girl. Im scared because if my ex finds out I know she will def hate me for good but I'm bored and tired of waiting and not doing anything and this girl is very very attractive... so I'm confused should I just keep on waiting and see if me and my ex are def EX'S or just forget about it and have this other girl come over tonight?[

You are an absolute mess and should not be spreading your poison around to innocent people. The fact your anger and frustration has caused such a bad attitude may be an insight as to why you will always have relationship problems.

You are an absolute mess and should not be spreading your poison around to innocent people. The fact your anger and frustration has caused such a bad attitude may be an insight as to why you will always have relationship problems.
Well I don't understand my ex girlfriend must still want to be with me if she doesn't want me talking to this other girl because she knows then she couldn't be with me. I was just asking because I'm lost and really don't know what I can do besides move on and have a one night stand... good idea or bad idea? Is that just a one night solution or could it actually help me get over my ex I really dotn want to even have to get over my ex but I'm losing all hope and I don't know if she will ever even be with me again she's confusing the sh*t out of me

I'd back off and give her the space she says she needs. Appearing too clingy or needy is a real turn-off to women. Don't call her or ask to see her for a while. Let her do her thing and you do yours. OF course, it's a two-way street so you have every right to see other women while on this "break" and I recommend that you do. If she invited you to this New Year's Eve party you can still go with her if you want to. If you'd rather make other plans for New Year's Eve (and I suggest you consider that possibility since she says she wants "space"), then that's OK too. Either way, don't call her, wait for her to call you. Let her miss you and wonder what you're up to. That may get her back on your doorstep again.

I'd back off and give her the space she says she needs. Appearing too clingy or needy is a real turn-off to women. Don't call her or ask to see her for a while. Let her do her thing and you do yours. OF course, it's a two-way street so you have every right to see other women while on this "break" and I recommend that you do. If she invited you to this New Year's Eve party you can still go with her if you want to. If you'd rather make other plans for New Year's Eve (and I suggest you consider that possibility since she says she wants "space"), then that's OK too. Either way, don't call her, wait for her to call you. Let her miss you and wonder what you're up to. That may get her back on your doorstep again.
YEAAHHH thnks that's the advice I was looking for... it is a BREAK so I'm going to have my fun too. And I'm def not going to call her because I know she will be wondering why. But thnks everyone's been very helpful I'm glad I found this website

Just read your other post! <<she found out because I got caught and she broke up wit me afta each time but she always took me back because I sai di would change... well finally afta the 5th time I did CHANGE... its been 9 months and I ahvent even attempted talking to another girl... me and her have been on and off and right now were off takig space is what she wants to call it... she can't trust me an di understand that but I know I'm a gret catch and she knows I do love her and I know a part of her believe I have changed... but now she thinks she needs this space.. which I don't understand because its been 9mths >>


You are obviously delighted she is looking for space so that you have an excuse to play around again!!
I am amazed about your attitude for an Indian guy!! You cheated on her 5 times! Obviously she needs space!!

I agree with ROL! It looks like you have been looking for a way to go do your thing with other girls..? You have cheated on her so how do you consider that love? And if youdo Love her then why do you want to move on with other girls so much?

He Has Absolutely No Idea What Love Is!! Go And Grow Up!! I hope the other guy she is talking to treats her better!

He Has Absolutely No Idea What Love Is!!!!!!!! Go And Grow Up!!!!! I hope the other guy she is talking to treats her better !!
I think everyone got what i was misunderstood, i definitely don't want to be with any i mean any other girls... i just can't keep waiting because its really hurting me a lot, it affects every aspect of my life i can't eat sleep or focus at work and im in a management position at work so that's very important. The only reason i was asking about seeing other females is because it's the one thing that can get my mind off her which i know it would only get my mind off her for the time being. I did hang out with another girl last night but i dropped her off 20 minutes later i ddint feel right about even talking to another girl. I do very much so love my ex gf and would wait forever if i had to... i was very immature in the beginning of our relationship and i have changed my attitude towards relationship i would never cheat on her again. But i don't know what to do anymore>>>>

Relax, go to sleep and reread this thread and just follow directions... You have 4 pages of crying by you and 4 pages of good suggestions... PICK ONE!

OK well those who remember my past questions... me andmy ex girlfriend did the and contact thing. Now I haven't called her and she hasn't contacted me its been about 3 weeks. Now on christmas eve she contacts me and is crying because she says its very hard for her to be with out me on christmas. As well, one of her friends had seen me earlier in the day with a girl I used to be with when me and my ex girlfriend were going out.. so was her crying just from anger that I was with this other girl or from her heart and she really miss me. When she had called me last night she asked if I wanted to hang out after she left her family's house , I told her I didn't know if that would be a good idea, but still told her to call me and we would hangout.. It wasn't that bad we drove around and talked for a couple of hours nothing intimate. Now, I'm not sure what she's really thinking anymore because when I asked her if she was happy now and if she was happy with what she chose to do by not being wit me she said she wasn't happy... I do love her with all of my heart... I have to admit though I have been happier since I accepted me and her weren't a couple anymore but I do miss being with her and how she CAN make me feel when we aren't mad at each other and do have a good time I would trade that for anything... so I'm confused there's basically what has happened in the past couple weeks so please feed me some advice or criticism

Well, I went back to check up on what happened here before I posted and I noticed your 19 and make $150,000 year. So before I answer your post, I'm going to ask what exactly it is you do. I mean exactly.

Well, I went back to check up on what happened here before I posted and I noticed your 19 and make $150,000 year. So before I answer your post, I'm going to ask what exactly it is you do. I mean exactly.
OK well, I started in this company when I was 16 called Versatile MArketing Solutions, I was doing entry level sales over the phone.. my company calls customer over the phone and we give them a chance to receive a free 1200 dollar general electric simon 3 alarm system installed and activated free of charge and they pay 32.99 a month for the monitoring service with signing a 36 month agreement(contract)... when I first started I just called homeowner gave them the good news and if they were interessted I told them an installtion manager would call them back and answer there questions and give them the exact monitoring rate since I said it was about a dollar a day and only gave basic information of equipment(all of this was scripted)... now I did that for about 8 months then I become a CLOSER the installation manager and I also acted as an assistant manger in the office. At that timei was making between 750 and 1500 a week working 24 hours... now that was for about 5 months until I became a manager of my own office which the company bought for me to run in coventry, ri... as a manager I basically train new employees give them the knowledge of have about what are company does,. I keep them motivated as well run the office as my own business. The way I get paid now if for every install or person one of my employees in my office gets I get 400 dollars for when I do between 1-9 in a week but once I hit 10 installs in week I make 450 for each its an incentive to hit 10. NOw out of this 4500 when I hit ten I have to pay my employees payroll basically what is left after payroll is my PAYCHECK... as you can see if my office doesn't produce I don't make money id actually lose it but I'm in this position because we never get less then 10... and my payroll for ten installs can be between 1,000 and 2,000 dollars depending on ho wmany employees work and I do pay each emplyee differently based on experience and if they receive hourly or are strickly commission... but yea I know I'm lucky and I do work my off but it does pay offf in the end... my ex girlfriend knows I make this much money and she isn't a golddigger even though I used to love buying her things she neva asked for anything and that's one thing I always noticed of her...

Well okay. I'm not sure I understood all that but that was in depth so I'm going to tell you my opinion.

I read in a follow up post where you said you were needy. The girlfriend probably assumed that you were going to continue contact with her and not be afraid to let her go. That's one reason no contact works so well. It gives you a little power back which you sort of state you gave to her.

That being said, it's the holidays, and people have are emotional during the holidays. When she was faced with the prospect of facing Christmas alone she caved to her emotions. She also wants you to appear at a New Years party which you make sound very important to her. She could be setting the ground work now for you to come to that but once the New Year hits those emotions die down and real life starts happening again. I would still pull way back and don't commit anything to her. Don't even commit to that New Years party. Maybe later in the week but if she asks tell her you've got some other options your considering now.

Well as I remember you were hoping she would come back and it seems she has. You have said you've changed and would like to try and redo this relationship so all the advice in the world won't stop you, so keep us updated and good luck.