Hey guys, the good news is that I am no longer posting in the breakup section for quite some time, I have moved on and have been out there meeting new people. Now however, I have a question about a new girl I have been seeing.

I met a girl only about 3 weeks ago, she goes to my school. I am about to finish graduate school here (24 years old) she is about to graduate undergrad (she's 21). We met each other a few years ago but were both in relationships so didn't pursue each other. This time we met and hit it off immediately. Hung out all the time for the first 2 weeks or so and really enjoyed each other. We were intimate quickly and she seemed to be falling for me quickly. I was trying to take it a little slower on purpose and so she was mostly initiating our contact.

This past weekend she flew home for a family birthday for 3 days. She was texting me nonstop about missing me, etc. I know she was even talking to her parents about me and everything. I thought this was a little quick and over the top but I continued my slow approach keeping a little distance. She even questioned why she is always initiating our contact, but I assured her I did have feelings for her.

Bottom line, she came back yesterday and we hung out and I could tell she was different and a little distant. I asked what was wrong and she said that after talking with her mom and being home she realized she is moving home in one month (plane ride away) and I am staying here, and to continue on the path we were going will end up bad. She said moving home is sure to lead to problems and it's better to slow it down now.

Do you believe this is a valid reason or is she hiding something else? I started to really like getting to know her, but maybe she is right.

you met 3 weeks ago and already there your both in the deep end!

too much too fast = burn out.

as for her texting and missing you,perhaps she was trying too hard,wanting the serious relationship saying the things that make a serious relationship,but,alas not really meaning them.

my advice.. let it go, wish her the best of luck and ride into the sunset.

you moved too fast and now your heads spinning,you're a little confused because you tried to take things slow,however in saying that,you made the choice to sleep with her,you set the pace early on.

the next time,just date... thats all,get to know the girl before the relationship,and really take it slow,you owe yourself that after being through a break up.

if its being less then 3 months since your last breakup,maybe you need a little more 'me' time.

Give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she's just being honest with you.

She may have had time to think about it and just doesn't want to pursue a long distance relationship with you.

You're lucky that you've only invested 3 weeks into the relationship. It would have been really hurtful if you'd been seeing her for years.

Some people aren't capable of handling a long distance relationship, so it's very possible that she's telling the truth.

If you doubt he explanation, then it doesn't sound like you trust her very much anyway. No trust = no relationship.

If you really want to work things out with her, then let her know how you feel and see if you can get on the same page together. You can't force her to stay with you, but you can make the effort on your end and see where that leads.

Well I actually do believe her, it completely makes sense. And I realize she probably is correct. I honestly don't even know if I could handle a long distance relationship based on a month of foundation, if she may not be returning any time soon. My feelings are minimal at this point and I think that's best for now.

Well, she is here for another month and told me she really would like to hang out still with her and her friends, though it won't be the same way obviously. I am not really sure how it would be with us (i.e. if we will hook up, if it will be awkward). I just know it won't be the head over heals way it was, which I am fine with truthfully. But I would like to see her still.

Do you think it's a bad idea to continue to see her until she leaves, even if it's only once or twice a week. I mean we get along and I enjoy hanging with her and her friends. Why completely write her off? There is a chance she will be returning to work here a few months down the line anyway.

Do you believe this is a valid reason or is she hiding something else? I started to really like getting to know her, but maybe she is right.
Yes, it is a valid reason. A plane ride away is far enough to cause problems.

Relationships that move fast also burn out fast. I've never had or had seen a fast relationship last longer than 2 months.

Well, enjoy her company while she's still around, and let her go home. Maybe she'll find work in the Boston area and come back.

EDIT:


Do you think it's a bad idea to continue to see her til she leaves, even if it's only once or twice a week. I mean we get along and I enjoy hanging with her and her friends. Why completely write her off? There is a chance she will be returning to work here a few months down the line anyway.

Only do it if you will actually enjoy hanging out with her friends and don't have ulterior motives. If you have even a shred of doubt, then writing her off completely is the better is the way to go.