Im 16 and I just recently got harassed. My aunt was in the car with me while I was driving and kept demanding me to go to the store. She kept distracting me so much that I ran a stop light. Second she kept screaming so in the middle of the road I slammed on my brakes and told her to knock it off (because I could drive). I then told her to either shut up or get out because I'm not going to take it (and I shouldnt). I then told her she wasn't getting anything and she was going home. All the way to her house she yelled, bickered, tried to hit me, pulled my hair, and pushed me all while driving. I have a medical condition (which she knows of) where if I get to anxious I start to shake and end up having a seizure. She kept telling me that she was going to call the cops for reckless driving ( I only drove 5 above the speed limit). I told her I was going to press charges for harassing a minor, harassment, and harassing while driving (along with abuse).

I live in Oregon and cannot get a restraining order as the court won't let me for various reasons.

So what can I do? Im stuck and tired of her treating me this way.

Why can you just not stay away from her?

Firstly, you should not be driving over the speed limit.
Secondly, you should not be driving if you're at risk of seizure.
Thirdly, it's your word against hers.
Fourthly, you ran a stop light!!

If you must drive, I suggest you don't drive with her in the car again and that you remember you're only 16. In Australia you can't drive a car until you're 18 for good reason. Maturity and consideration for other drivers on the road. Driving over the speed limit, running a red light and blaming her for it all sound as if you were putting not only yourself, but other drivers at risk.

I would suggest that if you don't want your aunt to treat you badly (and her behavior does sound over the top) you respect the road rules and, next time, let her drive.

Why can you just not stay away from her?

I would love to stay away from here, but seeing as I'm 16, she's my aunt, I really cant. She's always going to think she's the boss of me.

Firstly, you should not be driving over the speed limit.
Secondly, you should not be driving if you're at risk of seizure.
Thirdly, it's your word against hers.
Fourthly, you ran a stop light!!?

If you must drive, I suggest you don't drive with her in the car again and that you remember you're only 16. In Australia you can't drive a car until you're 18 for good reason. Maturity and consideration for other drivers on the road. Driving over the speed limit, running a red light and blaming her for it all sound as if you were putting not only yourself, but other drivers at risk.

I would suggest that if you don't want your aunt to treat you badly (and her behavior does sound over the top) you respect the road rules and, next time, let her drive.
No no no no no. One its my car. I bought it, I own it. I was doing HER a favor and taking her to her bingo game.
And 2) I'm only at risk of seizure if people within a car over stress me.
And 3) come on. Like you don't drive over the speed limit. And I've been driving for 2 years. I respect the other drivers and the road. Why don't I scream at you while your driving, hitting you and pushing you while DRIVING. Didn't you read.

No no no no no. One its my car. I bought it, I own it. I was doing HER a favor and taking her to her bingo game.
and 2) im only at risk of seizure if people within a car over stress me.
and 3) come on. Like you dont drive over the speed limit. And ive been driving for 2 years. I respect the other drivers and the road. Why dont I scream at you while your driving, hitting you and pushing you while DRIVING. Didnt you read.

Yes, yes, yes. I read. I am not 16 and I am NOT an inexperienced driver. Two years is not a long time to be driving when you're a teenager, not an adult.

I don't care who owns the car - going through a red light and driving over the speed limit is irresponsible. What you do on the road affects other people. Do you need to be in a collision to understand that? You put other people, at risk.

You wanted a solution to your problem - I gave it - either don't drive at all, or don't drive with her in the car.

Please don't assume that you know what I do when I'm driving - because you don't know. Not everyone drives over the speed limit or runs red lights.

For your information, I've worked in the USA and driven a car, so I am well aware of the road rules in America. Road rules are similar - whatever country you're in.

I did give you a solution - don't drive on the car with her - since neither you or her seem to be able to behave with restraint.

Again, you're making assumptions about the people that reply to your post.

Also somebody with a seizure disorder, honestly if your not seizure free for a certain amount of time. Then you should not be driving period. It is a major accident waiting to happen. You are not only putting yourself at risk but everybody else that is on the road with you.

I know a lot about seizures and conditions of driving , etc...

So what she is your aunt you have a choice to be around her or not unless your actually living in her house. If not, then you do have a choice.

Please review these rules on using the comment feature: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-help/using-comments-feature-official-guidelines-24951.html There was nothing factually incorrect in Gemini's post and the rest was her opinion which is not subject to disagreement.


No no no no no. One its my car. I bought it, I own it. I was doing HER a favor and taking her to her bingo game.
And 2) I'm only at risk of seizure if people within a car over stress me.
And 3) come on. Like you don't drive over the speed limit. And ive been driving for 2 years. I respect the other drivers and the road. Why don't I scream at you while your driving, hitting you and pushing you while DRIVING. Didn't you read.

I am going to call you on this. You are 16. How have you been driving for two years? Oregon DMV Teen Driving Getting a Driver License - Under 18 (http://www.oregon.gov/ODOT/DMV/TEEN/license.shtml)

Your aunt may have acted irresponsibly, but you haven't acted much better.


She kept distracting me so much that I ran a stop light. Second she kept screaming so in the middle of the road I slammed on my brakes and told her to knock it off (because I could drive).

I won't say much about 5 miles over the speed limit because it is very difficult to stay at the speed limit, HOWEVER, I don't think you are being accurate about your speed. If you were distracted enough to miss a red light, then you probably were not paying attention to speed. Slamming on your brakes in the middle of the road is another red flag ON YOUR BEHAVIOR.

Gemini gave you great advice. IF it is your car and you pay for it (all upkeep, insurance, etc.), then don't give her any more rides.

To be honest, I think there is a lot more to this story than you have told.

What about the seizures??
She should not be driving under doctors orders if she has them, especially when stress can be a seizure trigger.

Me and my cousins have a difficult aunt in the family too. Even when she came and stayed with us, we sure didn't have much trouble avoiding her. So I'm not really seeing why you need to take legal action to avoid giving her rides in a car that you're telling us you own and pay for. What's stopping you from telling her to find a different ride? And I don't think having annoying family members constitutes harassment, fyi. If things were really that bad when you were driving you should have pulled over and parked-especially if you're at risk of having a seizure! And I'm with jesushelper- how are you even allowed to drive if you're at risk of having seizures??

Firstly, you should not be driving over the speed limit.
Secondly, you should not be driving if you're at risk of seizure.
Thirdly, it's your word against hers.
Fourthly, you ran a stop light!!?

If you must drive, I suggest you don't drive with her in the car again and that you remember you're only 16. In Australia you can't drive a car until you're 18 for good reason. Maturity and consideration for other drivers on the road. Driving over the speed limit, running a red light and blaming her for it all sound as if you were putting not only yourself, but other drivers at risk.

I would suggest that if you don't want your aunt to treat you badly (and her behavior does sound over the top) you respect the road rules and, next time, let her drive.
I disagree completely, this post is unnecessarily harsh.

First, I live in the bluest state in the union and you're allowed 7-10 miles over the speed limit because like the OP said, speeding is common. If you think taking your eyes off the road to constantly look down at your speedometer is safe, then I don't want to be on the same road as you. Moreover, you're more likely to get pulled over for doing 5MPH below the speed limit because it's considered suspicious behavior--yes, you can get pulled over for going too slow. That's what a drunk does when he's scared of being charged with a DUI.

Second, people who have conditions that cause seizures can still drive, they're not completely incapable. Obviously, severity comes into question but it seems to me that the OP has it under control.

Third, everything on this website is the OPs word against the person in question; welcome to the internet. The least you could do is take her word for it instead of throwing her to the wolves because why, she's 16?

Fourth, you, she ran a stop light because she was being hassled. Sorry, not all of us are born with nerves of steel. We're human, surprise surprise.

And finally, nowhere in your response did you even address the OPs question about harassment, you just attacked her. You even justified her aunt's behavior by blaming the OP's driving skills.

On to the OP.. . You stick up for yourself, which is admirable. Here's an option, but it's kind of risky 'cause it involves the state: tell your guidance councilor at your school about your aunt. Hopefully you trust him and he will honestly do what he believes is in your best interest. Since the terrible Pheobe Prince incident, schools don't mess around when it comes to harassment and abuse. What can happen is the state's social services gets involved (CHINS I believe it's called) and moves you from your aunt to another relative or foster home. It sounds extreme, but being 16 and still in high school, I don't know what else you can do (legally) short of running away.

You're head's in the right place, good for you.

I disagree with the above.

Seizures that are brought on with anxiety and stress can happen at any time.

No people with seizures that are not controlled well can not drive and I have been questioning how severe these seizures are without any answer but if stress is a trigger. Then that means that any kind of stress situation can bring on seizures and she SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING.

I know several people with seizures. One should not really be driving. The other one under doctors orders is not allowed to drive at all.

It is just a fact of life. It is about the safety of others and this driver is NOT a safe driver.

EDIT: The suggestions are NOT TO BE DRIVING.
NOT TO BE DRIVING WITH THE AUNT.
NEVER DRIVE THE AUNT AGAIN.

Simple suggestions. Stay away from your aunt, she does not think she can? Why?

We need the op to come back and answer some more questions.

I disagree with the above.

Seizures that are brought on with anxiety and stress can happen at any time.

No people with seizures that are not controlled well can not drive and I have been questioning how severe these seizures are without any answer but if stress is a trigger. Then that means that any kind of stress situation can bring on seizures and she SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING.

I know several people with seizures. One should not really be driving. The other one under doctors orders is not allowed to drive at all.

It is just a fact of life. It is about the safety of others and this driver is NOT a safe driver.
Man I have no idea, I'm not a doctor and I've never had a seizure before, I just know people who have had seizures and still drive, and so do you apparently. I never said it was right or it's safe, but I'm not about to tell a grown man what to do.

It all goes back to what we learned in driving school, look out for number 1 and drive defensively.

I just didn't like how her question about harassment was lightly touched upon and yet she was attacked for her driving skills and how unsafe she is. It's not fair to judge the OP, not in this context.

EDIT:
I didn't see your edit.


Stay away from your aunt, she does not think she can?? Why??

Well, I would venture a guess the reason why she posted here is because she lives in the aunt's house, or the aunt lives with her family. She sounds pretty ballsy, so I'd assume that she'd avoid her if she could. That's how I interpreted her post, anyway.

Wow, I just came upon this one. Next time if your aunt wants a lift, tie her hands, put blinkers on her and stuff her mouth with her purse. You will have a peaceful ride. I hope.

Are you actually living with this person, and is she like this all the time. It sounds like she has some kind of disorder.

Tick

wow, I just came upon this one. Next time if your aunt wants a lift, tie her hands, put blinkers on her and stuff her mouth with her purse. You will have a peaceful ride. I hope.

Are you actually living with this person, and is she like this all the time. It sounds like she has some kind of disorder.

tick

Tried rating, I would say it is all in the family.

I just want to take a second to get pronouns corrected. The OP is a male according to another thread.

Lyingsuns3t, the reason I am being a bit harsh about the driving aspect is because you are going to have distractions in the vehicle. It may be a lunatic aunt (I've got one of those, myself), a pet, an insect, the radio, maybe children someday. You, as the driver, have to keep your calm and not allow the other things going on to distract you from the task at hand-controlling a vehicle that can become deadly in the blink of an eye.

I am concerned that your aunt supposedly mentions reckless driving and you bring up your speed. You don't seem to add the red light and the slamming on your brakes in the middle of the road as part of the reckless driving.

Does the state of Oregon know about your seizure disorder?

As for the aunt, yes, you will have to have some dealings with her because she is family. She is older than you and in many families that does give her a bit more privilege to boss you around. I have a feeling that what supposedly happened on the road began before you even got in the car. How much of it began as resentment for taking your aunt anywhere?

You mention the court system, but you don't mention other family members like parents, grandparents, etc. Is there a reason you aren't dealing with this through the family or friends of the family?

I'm a liability investigator - "she was screaming at me and so I had a seizure" is NOT a legal defense when OP kills someone. Likewise, "everyone drives X miles over the speed limit" is not a defense. If the speed limit is 50, the Police will post 50, not 43, knowing the World will drive 7 miles over.

And in NY the OP would have a very difficult time getting a drivers license - and/or keeping it.

OP is obviously very young or OP would realize he has health problems under pressure and wouldn't drive - again, before he kills someone.

Also am very turned off by OP's anger. I, by the way, can read just fine.