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View Full Version : My 18 year old is out of control


BHillmomof2
Apr 18, 2010, 10:45 PM
My 18 year old daughter has always been a good kid and student until recently. Her and her boyfriend broke up 6 months ago and she has been feeling "lost". She has always had self esteem issues. Now for the past 2 months she has been happier and made new friends. At first, we thought this was a good thing. But she has become more and more disrespectful, staying out till all hours of the night or not coming home and her response is "I'm 18 I can do what I want". To which we reply, you live in our house and you must follow the rules. Come to find out these girls are not nice girls. They engage in risky behaviors such as drinking, drugs and sex. It finally came to a head last weekend when she wanted to stay out all night Friday and Saturday and we told her no and she left and hasn't been home since. Her Facebook page says she is looking for an apartment because her stupid parents kicked her out. She is staying with a girlfriend who is a bad influence. We temporarily suspended her cell phone and hid her computer so she can't take that with her. She paid for her car but we pay insurance and are considering cancelling the insurance and taking the plate off so she can't drive it. My concern is with no phone or car she can't come home even if she changes her mind and wants to. I really feel like this behavior is a call for help (she left notes around in her room for us to find out what she has been doing) but I'm not sure what I can do since she is 18.

Larken85
Apr 18, 2010, 11:15 PM
There isn't much you can do except reach out to her. She will come to see the error of her ways. My guess is she got into all the things the other girls got into. I hate it when things like this happen but then again she is 18 and she is going to be trying new things. I just hope she realizes when enough is enough. I hope it works out for you. (an intervention might not be a bad idea.) Does she have a job? Does she call you?

One thing is you can't just take all that off her car. She will feel totally confined and she will run further away. You want her to be close enough for you to reach her if she needs you. (emotionally and physically.) Just keep that in mind.

Gemini54
Apr 19, 2010, 01:17 AM
Look, if she wants to do what she wants then let her know you'll help her find somewhere else to live.

I agree with - your house, your rules - but if she can't obey the rules then you need to help her find somewhere else to live or modify some of the rules.

Why don't you let it all settle down for a couple of days and then have a coffee with her to talk about what the options are?