My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. His reason was something like he's been busy and couldn't give me the attention I deserve blah blah blah. I respect his decision and initially I wanted to stay NC. Then I told him to give me few more months to get over and after that we can stay in touch (I think he wants to keep in touch). But honestly, I don't want to stay in touch at all. It's such a torture for me. Should I try to get him back or just move on and stay no contact at all?

Stay no contact and move on-he dumped you-leave him to it.

Don't allow him to talk you into "keeping in touch", especially since you really don't want to.

He broke up with you, so you should definitely stay NC.

If staying in touch is torture, why do it?

Stick to NC. Check out the NC related threads in my signature.

"But honestly, I dont want to stay in touch at all."

So don't.

"But honestly, I dont want to stay in touch at all."

So don't.*

* Copied and pasted from Van, thanks Van :cool:

Threads merged


I was dating a guy for a month. During the time we were seeing each other, I always threatened him that I want to stay away from him because he doesn't share anything. So a month ago he told me that we are breaking up, but he said we can keep in touch. I told him to give me sometime so when I get over everything I can stay friends with him. But on second thought, I don't want to stay in touch now anymore. I have no idea of how to retain the friendship. What am I supposed to do now? Should I tell him that I don't want to stay in touch? But I don't want to hurt his feelings. (his reason for leaving was he's been busy and recently when we were on msn he was like he has so much free time now) that made me upset for a bit.

After reading the replies. Should I meet up with him in person to tell him that I will not stay in touch? Or just simply tell him by email? Or I should get a friend to email him?

Get on with your life, worry about yourself. It sounds like you're a little confused and you might change your mind again.
I don't think you really have to communicate anything to him at this point.

He's dumping you. Why should you stay friends with someone who is dumping you?

Maybe after this blow heals, you can be his friend. But to save yourself confusion, resentment and being entired upset. Just ignore him for awhile. And I don't see the problem in you telling him that you don't want to be friends. Remember, HE'S DUMPING YOU

Don't worry about it - you owe him absolutely nothing, so you don't have to tell him anything.

Just stay NC and forget about him.

Threads merged

He broke up with me.when we were chatting on msn he said he's happy to talk. But he seemed doesn't want to get back together. What should I do? I really want him back

I know it sounds a bit heartless by me saying this, but you should move on. The same thing happened with me and my ex a few months ago, and he is still happy to talk to me. I really wanted him back too, but decided that if he didn't want me then he can't have me.

Why do you want him back since you had nothing in common in the first place, and he didn't have time for you, in the second place.

Bet if you stopped contact, by stopping the chatting, you would get over him faster, and move on without all this confusion.

I want to know how many people will accept to be friends with benefits. (regardless of the accidental pregnancy let's say)

Been there, done that. I think it's a waste of time. Why not look for someone that you want to actually be with?

Tried it myself many many moons ago and it did affect the friendship after a time.Not in a positive light.
We stopped the benefits part but then there was this kind of awkwardness that just lingered over the friendship.

I think it places too many restrictions on the relationship and what happens if one person falls in love?

I think the whole thing is ridiculous with all the other options there are.:)

Why bother?

"Friends with Benefits" NEVER works. One of the "friends" is always hoping it will turn into something more, and the other is using it as a release while they keep looking for "the one".

Either have a relationship or don't--but FWB is just using each other, and not in a constructive way.

Its just sex, and sooner or later those "feelings" will get one or both caught up in a trap.

If you want sex, get a partner that wants what you want besides just sex.

Don't have sex until you find the right partner. I learned the hard way, and that was no fun at all.

I’m of the opinion that “Friends with Benefits” never works out as it was initially intended.

One or both may know that they don't want a commitment and that's why the “No Strings Attached” agreement was conceived. But when the booty calls occur regularly, how can they NOT start to feel something for the other?

One person will inevitably feel a stronger emotional bond than the other. One will still only love the physical benefits and the other will enjoy the great sex so much that they get attached, even though they weren't looking for any relationship.

I've done it and it all ended up fine. We were both single, adults with healthy sex drives so why not. We are still really good mates now although I don't think we'd ever go back to the benefits part but it helped us both at the time

I don't agree with friends with benifts.. thats just my opinion

In my experience it doesn't work out well with someone you are already friends with. I mean they are your friend so you already care about them and the sex just confuses everything.

But when it was someone I just met and we decide that we didn't want to be in a relationship but we are attracted to each other it worked out fine. You know there was no hanging out, no going out to dinner, it was just sex.

One person always has stronger feelings than the other and someone usually gets hurt. Many people aren't forthcoming with telling others their true feelings unless they are reasonably confident the other person feels the same way.

I played this out several times when I was young and naïve. I had a pattern where guys I liked would be very interested in making out with me (we didn't go further at that time) and because we were very close friends, I merely took it as moving the relationship forward. I had been taught that nice girls start with friendship and take it slow, and I thought dating my friends was the right thing to do. I was not prepared to find that these guys who I felt so close to as friends just wanted to make out, keep it secret, then ask other girls when it came to a dance or a date. It crushed me.

Only when I became an adult did I learn that it's a lot safer emotionally to not have any physical connection with a man until he's made clear that he wants to date me. If he's not asking me out and spending time with me one on one, or if I get a sense that he doesn't want his friends to know about me, I'm done.

So my view - it may appear both parties like it, but one is probably hurting.