Threads merged

OK I looked in my girlfriends phone and found a picture or a naked man but it was from two months be for we went out should I be mad?? that its still in her phone?

Have you even talked to her about it? How long have you been dating?

Not as mad as she will be when she finds out you were sneaking and looking at her phone.

If it was before it was, do you ever like to look at pictures or porn with naked women ?

Do you have any provocative magazines? How about any DVD's? Do you throw these away when you get a girlfriend? I'm guessing no.

The bigger question here is what were you doing looking through her phone?

3 months and no I haven't I just left it alone.and she knows I go threw her phone also she dose the same.and yes I like looen at naked women but porn is different.its not the same as having a picture of person you once had some type of realationship with

Do you have any provocative magazines? How about any DVD's? Do you throw these away when you get a girlfriend? I'm guessing no.

The bigger question here is what were you doing looking through her phone?

Good points.

P.S. I have six flights of stairs in my Apartment building, which flight(s) are you under?

3 months and and no i havent i just left it alone.and she knows i go threw her phone also she dose the same.and yes i like looen at naked women but porn is different.its not the same as having a picture of person you once had some type of realationship with

If it's an EX, then I'd be concerned. Talk to her about it. If you have an open enough relationship where you can go through each-other's phone's without getting mad, then you should have no problem bringing up the issue with something you found in it.

Yea I tried but for some reason I'm unsure of how to ask her.also I don't want her to think that I'm acussing her of anything like cheating

yea i tried but for some reason im unsure of how to ask her.also i dont want her to think that im acussing her of anything like cheating

Just say "Hey, did you realize that you still have this picture on your phone?" I know I had pictures I'd forgotten about (never nudies though) because I either ever really looked through them or hadn't gone that far back in my pictures for a while.

See how she acts, if she's like "oh crap, sorry, [I'll] delete it" then she probably forgot about it.

If she's like "yeah, so" she probably just doesn't care that much and didn't know or care if it bothered you. If she didn't know, then let her know (nicely) that you're not really okay with it and it would make you feel better if she deleted it. If she doesn't care how you feel about it, then I'd sit down and have a talk with her.

If you make it a big deal, she would get defensive and it would stir up an argument. So why not casually bring it up? Along the lines of: "Woah, what a pic, is this Brad Pitt?" See what she says and go from there. No need to accuse her of anything.

OK I tried the casually one but I deleted the pic by mistake she doesn't seem to notice.so I'm assuming that's a good thing right?

It would have been better if she deleted it herself- it's her property and her contents.

Also want to point out that you shouldn't be too shy to just say something to your girlfriend when you are bothered by something. Far better to do that than to stew about it.

Also to note. If your girlfriend looked at your cell phone with permission, and saw a naked picture of a past girlfriend, would we all view this a little differently?

You shouldn't have deleted it.

You should cut her some slack... it was from before you.

So... if this is going to sit hard with you, make you search through her things looking for "signs"... id consider fessing up... you were looking at her pics, saw a naked man, deleted it while you were p!ssed (accident or not)... say you're sorry that happened, you're a jealous guy in some ways (I am too) and you don't want to carry this around.

If you decide to ride it out and see if she brings it up, fine. Just be prepared for the potential "did you go through my phone" conversation and don't lie if cornered.

Threads merged

OK so its been four months we been going out and there's a few secrets I un covered while we been going out and I'm not sure what to bealeav.so were sitting on the couch and her phone rings and she's acts very secrative.and says "just txt me ok" so we both go threw each others stuff such as phones emails etc.. So about two weeks lata I decide to read some text message and its from a guy I never heard of because she never told me.well she did but she never told me his name she also told me that she don't talk to any of her ex bf's.so as I'm reading I see that he comes on to her and tells her how he feels and that he still loves her.and she seems like she's confused on what to do and they quit txting for about two days.then it starts up again so I read then and he says "What are you thinking about and how do you feel"? And she replys" maby we should get back together" so after that I told her what I saw and read and how I felt and I ask is that what she wants and she gets really mad and says she only said it because she was mad at me.and that if she wanted him she would have been left me.and this is suppose to be one of her closes ex's but they met over the internet and they never met in person but that they talked for two years and went out for one of those years.so she says she will stop talken to him and she text him saying ''bye my realationship is should be worried about we could no longer be friends"

Then 3 days I'm standing behind her and she is txting him and what makes it worse is she was trying to hide it.. im unsure of what to think

Also why this frustrates me is because my ex of 2 years kept trying to get back with me and tells me she loves me and my girls is uncomfortable with that so I stop talking to her no contact at all.like she wanted but she would do the same and insisted that they were just friend and he understood that.so I said what ever talk to you want and sense then we been happy but in the back of my head I'm not sure if I was wrong for leting the subject go??

Wow, this relationship is just full of problems. Neither one of you trust each other by going through phones and e-mails and all of that stuff. Without trust you can't have a relationship. If it bothers you so much that she talks to her ex, speak up and say it. Don't pu$$y foot around it, simply say "It bothers me that you two talk and are talking about those sorts of things"

I did she said she would quit talking to him but sense we don't live close I'm not sure if she has

I think she's entitled to her privicy AND I think you can't trust her.

man she's telling you to do what I say but don't do what I do. Rome is right bro without trust there is no relationship, Think of it, do you really want to be like a detective and spy on her every time, looking at her phone, trying to see what emails she has, and all that crap, that's not a relationship, its just a heart ache for you. You love her cause your willing to put up with her Sh*^ but is it really worth it? You deserve a girl that can give you all of her and not confused about her feelings. She's not willing to give you that so don't give back, hold back. If you really do want to stay with her, then let her have a taste of her own medicine, do what she's doing to you and see if she likes it.

I agree with the others, I really don't feel like you should bother with this girl. No matter how angry she is with you, she should never tell her ex boyfriend that they should get back together. I think you should just leave, it's not worth it.

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OK I really wanted to know why women/girls don't tell you all the time what's bothering them? :confused:

Because they want to keep it to themselves?
Because they want to keep you guessing?
Because they don't know?

Women are not all the same - who knows, it depends on the situation and on the woman.

Oh so should I keep asking what's wrong? because it seems like they get mad also if I don't keep asken I don't want it to look like I don't care

Look, if this is about you, and something is wrong with your GF and she won't tell you, then stop asking. You'll know soon enough.

1) If you want to show that you care, then simply ask: "How are you?" If they answer with something negative, then say: "What's wrong?"


a) If they want you to know, they will tell you.

b) If they choose to keep it to themselves, then respect their wishes, regardless of what their reason is.
2) If they want to tell you something, but need you to push them first, then they are playing mind games and that's a sign of immaturity. In which case, you either play their game or walk away.

How do we know when scenario 2) occurs? I have no idea because I can't read their minds. So on the safe side, I would stick with scenario 1).

When you ask what's wrong and she does not tell you, then say "when you're ready to talk about it, I'm here"
That puts the ball in her court.

I'm with homegirl. I cannot tell you how upset I get when I'm already upset about something and get asked continuously "what's wrong?" When I'm ready to talk about it/have found the right words, etc, then I will.

Some people don't know how to express their feelings, or are afraid too.

But. And this is a very big but. If this is the GF that's in your other threads, then there are multiple issues involved.

Communication and trust are two that come to mind immediately.

Even if she does tell you what's bothering her - can you believe her? There may be other reasons she won't express her feelings.

I would suggest that you don't play the game and keep asking what's wrong. Homegirl made a great suggestion - let her know she can talk to you anytime she wants, and stop asking.

OK thank everybody for your add vice.everythings going good now

Threads merged


OK so here it goes like I been going out with this girl 6months and I'm still confused why she really broke up with me.like I'm a really good guy and treat her really good and I catch her doing dirt.I mean maby I over react but at the same time I don't understand why she tells me she loves me and will do anything for me but doesn't.like I don't want to seem like I'm controlling her but I saw her giving this guy her number and he was hitting on her and I told her I don't feel comfortable her doing that and she got upset.to keep it brief should I trust her because after she said she was wrong for giving this gut the number I seen her do it again:confused:


I'm not sure if it was true but I was told that because I boosted her ego and basily did what ever she asked she feels she could do what ever she wants and get away with it so now she broke up with me to go see other guys and left me here thinking ill always be there

You should be glad she dumped you because she is a liar and is setting up her next conquest. For players like that, it doesn't matter one bit how good you treat them, they do whatever they please to do what ever they want.

Time to get a winner, and lose the losers.

Well be glad she is gone. Let this be a lesson, people will get away with as much as you allow them to.
If you tell a person who supposedly cares about you that you are uncomfortable about something they are doing and they continue to do it, they are telling you "what you feel is not important".
Don't let that slide because when you do, you are telling them "it's OK to walk all over me"
"Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"

Threads mergedOK so here it goes like I been going out with this girl 6months and I'm still confused why she really broke up with me.

...


... im not sure if it was true but I was told that because I boosted her ego and basily did what ever she asked she feels she could do what ever she wants and get away with it so now she broke up with me to go see other guys and left me here thinking ill always be there

For point one... the you don't know why she broke up with you...

There's nothing wrong with not knowing.

Meaning you don't need to flippin' know why... yes... it REALLY SUCKS to not understand... grates at you... pesters and prods and relentlessly takes front and center... that desire to know and understand why...

It

Doesn't

Matter

Because hanging onto "what can or could i do to get her back" is a lousy way to live. Its normal and natural to feel what you feel... but a lot of pain and frustration goes away when you stop asking why and you start knowing "it is this way"...

Reality is simple... she broke up with you. Period. Done. Accept this as fact and don't spend more time trying to find the angle or in that will change this... do you think she is spending energy and time on trying to find how to somehow make you "acceptable" for her? no.
...

As for the "always there for her"... that's up to you. At this point, until she chases you hard... and I mean she comes clean... and not "i miss you" or "i was wrong" bs... its easy to throw that out... until she really comes clean about why it was easy to toss you aside... I'm thinking you have absolutely no business being "there for her"...

...

You might want to understand why. You might want a little revenge. You might want to go back to the illusion.

Again... all that matters is that whatever you felt was there... she didn't and doesn't. It is energy spent on smoke and mirrors.

so now she broke up with me to go see other guys and left me here thinking ill always be there

That's why she broke up with you, because she can do her thing with whomever, and get you back whenever she wants.

That should be enough for you to leave her alone forever. That's just what ho's do bro!! Every female is not a ho, and that's what you need to get with.

Well it sounds to me she did you a favour by dumping you. Should have seen it coming long ago. Please try to move on and work on yourself and yes leave her alone. She is not worth it.

Ive got a whole folder full of them, but that's because of some research.

You said yourself it was 2 months before you went out, and perhaps she just forgot to delete them.

Just read through this and found more threads merged with it.

I would say get over it, she's not worth the effort, and she knows or thinks you'll always be there, so don't be there, let it go move on and forget her or expect to be treated like a doormat.

I have to spread some more rep positiveparent, but I agree with you.

She treats you the way you allow her to treat you. Leave the girl alone or continue to be her doromat.