Hi OK so I have been in a relations now for 3 months now.. We live about a hour away from each other I have been planning on moving there already for about a year since all my family already lives there.. I really like this my girlfriend a lot.. So we were talking today and I was planning on moving in a few weeks she made me promise it just wasn't for her just in case I didn't like it or we didn't work.. So of course I did. I didn't think nothing of it later in the conversation we were talking about her being stressed and all and she mentioned she's stressed about one of her ex's getting in touch with her a week ago and being interested in a relationship with her.. So I asked if she has any feeling for him and what did she say.. She said he's talking about his life and she's giving advise. She said the only relationship talk they had was the fact that she was in a relationship in regards to does she have feelings her response was I don't know.. I will always love him he has been in and out of my life since kids and it was always bad timing on my part. She said she didn't think about it yet but she says she really doesn't understand why now they haven't talking in over a year and she's been single for a long time and now he contacts her so she's more on the why and why when she has a great guy// She said I didn't want to tel you because there was nothing going on now. And didn't want to cause undue stress or worries.. So I said OK well I expect you to tell me if anything changes of course she agreed and also went on to say there's nothing and she hasn't put thought into it but little things make me think otherwise like the comment of don't move out here just for me or she post on her Facebook thinks like if I new then what I no now... And made a comment in the before conversation that now she regrets telling me cause she didn't want me to think things when nothing was going on and how she has to second guess her choice she made in the past and the choice she has to make now..

I'm really here cause I'm confused I don't know if I wait around and find out she falls for him or already is into him.. I also said I trust you and I would have been upset if you didn't tell me that's all fine just tell me if you to hang out. Her response well he was my friend before you and were just friends so I said yea he wants you and you might have feeling so if you hang out wouldn't that make them stronger?? Then she said its just weird now and I have to feel bad or guilty if you have with a friend.. sooo am I over thinking this?? Should I just wait and see what happens? The way I left it off is I trust and love her and left the ball in her court was that to weak any advice please?

It's only been 3 months - I think that you may need to ease off and wait. She may not have yet got over her ex, and you're right - you're over-thinking it all.

Try not to have too many expectations - perhaps treat it like a good friendship rather than a relationship for the time being, until you get to see her more regularly and make up your mind about what's going on.

PS Please don't write in text speak and do use punctuation - it's really hard to read otherwise... thanks.

3 months is kind of soon NOT to trust someone, especially since you have just gotten out of a long term relationship not long ago yourself.

I think you may be sensitive to her talking to an ex, and honestly, I wouldn't be in a rush to get in to deep with someone so soon, knowing her ex wants her back.

I think you pay attention, and enjoy getting to know each other better. But protect your heart until you know much, much more.

Talaniman Rule- Stay away from any one that has an ex involved in their lives.
Since you just finding this out, and your in a sort of long distance thing, its really easy to get carried away by jealousy, or insecurity, or just from old baggage from past relationships. The important thing I think is not to just dive in until you know how deep the water is and maybe you should heed her warning,


So we were talking today and I was planning on moving in a few weeks she made me promise it just wasn't for her just in case i didn't like it or we didn't work.. So of course i did. I didn't think nothing of it later in the conversation we were talking about her being stressed and all and she mentioned she's stressed about one of her ex's getting in touch with her a week ago and being interested in a relationship with her.. So I asked if she has any feeling for him and what did she say.. She said he's talking about his life and she's giving advise. She said the only relationship talk they had was the fact that she was in a relationship in regards to does she have feelings her response was i don't no.. I will always love him he has been in and out of my life since kids and it was always bad timing on my part That would make me extremely cautious and very alert.

Talaniman Rule- Never get so carried away by feelings that you can't see the facts.

Its only been 3 months, and she is a stranger, even if you do have feelings.