I am not sure if I am in the correct section.
My hymen broke during sports and when I had sex for the first time, it didn't hurt much. I am planning to go on hymenoplasty to 're-build' a hymen. I am just wondering after hymenoplasty, will sex be as hurt as sex for a virgin with hymen?

Yes. You are restoring your Hymen, so you are going to have this little flap of tissue between your vulvular vestibule and your vaginal canal. When a erection penis breaks this tissue, again, it will hurt. Nothing is going to stop that.

I suppose the question is, why would you want to restore your hymen? Is this something to do with your BF?

To be honest this is a wasteful and purely cosmetic surgery. It is like gluing a broken cup back together only to smash it again.

It honestly sounds like you want it to hurt. I don't get it. I'd be glad its out of the way personally.

Is there a religious consideration here? I have heard of restorations in some cultures.

Is there a religious consideration here? I have heard of restorations in some cultures.

Its not all that unusual in certain middle eastern cultures where the women sleep around but have this done so they can pretend to be virgins on their wedding day.

I've heard of this from both Afghan and Iranian women. And arrainged marriages are the norm for them.

Not so much of a culture here but he was disappointed about my broken hymen. We did not have any other partners before and he would definitely want to be the person breaking mine. He didn't mention anything about the restoration but I love to let him have the honour. He is the only man that I want to live with, and even its going to be painful, it doesn't matter, because the person is him :)

Its not all that unusual in certain middle eastern cultures where the women sleep around but have this done so they can pretend to be virgins on their wedding day.

I've heard of this from both Afghan and Iranian women. And arrainged marriages are the norm for them.



I have also heard of it when the hymen was broken outside of intercourse, not so that women can "pretend to be virgins."

Apparently if the marriage is arranged and also in some cultures an intact hymen is important.

not so much of a culture here but he was disappointed about my broken hymen. we did not have any other partners before and he would definitely want to be the person breaking mine. he didn't mention anything about the restoration but i love to let him have the honour. he is the only man that i want to live with, and even its going to be painful, it doesn't matter, because the person is him :)


Let me see if I've got this straight -

Your hymen was broken during sports. I've heard of this but thought it was rather difficult to do. However...

You have already had sex with this man ("my hymen broke during sports and when i had sex for the first time, it didn't hurt much") and he was disappointed because he didn't break your hymen.

So now you want to have your hymen reconstructed (expensive, painful surgery) so he can have sex with you again and break your hymen?

Is that right?

Something to think about - you and this boyfriend break up for some reason following the surgery, following intercourse, following rupturing your reconstructed hymen.

Your new boyfriend is upset and wants to rupture your hymen.

Do you have surgery again?

This relationship seems disfunctional in several ways - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-understand-him-better-463538.html

I get your point judykaytee, but I think he will be the only person I do this for. No more next.

i get your point judykaytee, but i think he will be the only person i do this for. no more next.

To be honest I don't think he is very disappoint for not taking your hymen is that great. I would put it similar to the disappoint of not getting sprinkles on their sundae. I don't think that is very broken up about it.

This is entirely my own opinion. Take it for what it is worth. I will say right now, I have NEVER taken a virgin. I haven't even come close, nor do I really want to, to be honest. It can be painful, and it can be a bloody mess.

I don't think it is worth it. Not even close. If it is something you want to do, then go for it. It will hurt, maybe as little as it did the first time or more.

I have also heard of it when the hymen was broken outside of intercourse, not so that women can "pretend to be virgins."

Apparently if the marriage is arranged and also in some cultures an intact hymen is important.

The cases I mentioned the women specifically said... "So they would appear to be virgins on their wedding night". There was no misunderstanding their reasoning.

But obviously an otherwise torn hymen would also be another reason.


Yes they were Muslims... and yes they are from an arrainged marriage culture which they accept.

Apparently its really important to them.

I'm sorry, but this just seems crazy. Even though I don't agree with it, I at least understand why women do it for cultural and religious reasons. I just can't wrap my mind around why you would throw away so much money just so he can feel like he has the "honor" of doing it. I couldn't find anything on hymenoplasty in the US, or even anywhere in north america (although I'm sure there are dr's that perform it), but all of the prices I found around the world ranged from 1,800 to over 5,000. The two of you could probably get away for a romantic weekend vacation for less than the surgery. Plus, with any surgery, there is always the risk of complications. Do you really want to risk complications down there? I'm also very curious how old you are. I'm sure a lot of us all thought we were only going to be with our first partner at first. I know I sure did. But things happen. People change. I would really think seriously about this. This isn't a decision that should be made quickly. And you keep referring to him as your boyfriend, not even your fiancé. I might be able to understand maybe if this were for your wedding night. But it sounded more like it was just because.

I would worry about doing such extreme things for a guy you cannot understand, nor communicate very well with.

I would happily rub my mans back after a hard day at work
I would happily cook him dinner
I would happily drive to the shop to get him beer

But I would NEVER change the way I am just so he can have the "honor" of hurting me.

My hymen was also broken before I first had sex (well I assume as it did not hurt)
My boyfriend at the time was HAPPY that he did not hurt me, not upset because he didn't get to break my hymen :rolleyes:

I honestly don't remember so my guess would be that there was little pain BUT if blood is the issue I would hide a dead chicken under the bed, insist on intercourse in the dark and then, after intercourse, when he goes to the bathroom I'd rub the dead chicken on the sheets...

And then I'd turn the light on.

Just a thought.

If OP would prefer a man who is NOT circumsized, do you think he would have the foreskin sewn back on in order to please her?

LOL, that is an image that made me wince, but the dead chicken was hilarious. To the guys, check for dead chickens before you go to the bathroom. Thanks for the heads up!

I honestly don't remember so my guess would be that there was little pain BUT if blood is the issue I would hide a dead chicken under the bed, insist on intercourse in the dark and then, after intercourse, when he goes to the bathroom I'd rub the dead chicken on the sheets ...

And then I'd turn the light on.

Just a thought.

If OP would prefer a man who is NOT circumsized, do you think he would have the foreskin sewn back on in order to please her?

Yes, and they could use the same piece of skin from, and for, both procedures. That would be a special "union" for them.

I cannot believe this thread. I mean, just because this guy didn't get the experience of being her 'first", he wants her to reconstruct something that was accidentally broken, just so he can turn around and break it again. To the OP, please rethink WHAT you are considering, and actually WHO you are marrying. Because of these reasons:

You take risk of losing your life whenever you have surgical procedures. We all do, every time. Even if it's by epidural, accidents happen. Look it up.

He is willing to put you through unnecessary pain and suffering. You came here because you are so worried about it.

He is not satisfied with the condition you are in because of no fault of your own. Things happen, life goes on.

And where does this end? Will he insist on something "new" next year?

There should never be a second breaking of your hymen.

The worst part of this whole mess is that this guy is willing to risk HURTING, possibly LOSING you.

All because he wants his gift "rewrapped".

And sometimes I feel like a selfish husband when I get the last bit of Buttered Pecan Ice cream.

Yes, and they could use the same piece of skin from, and for, both procedures. That would be a special "union" for them.

I cannot believe this thread. I mean, just because this guy didn't get the experience of being her 'first", he wants her to reconstruct something that was accidentally broken, just so he can turn around and break it again. To the OP, please rethink WHAT you are considering, and actually WHO you are marrying. Because of these reasons:

You take risk of losing your life whenever you have surgical procedures. We all do, every time. Even if it's by epidural, accidents happen. Look it up.

He is willing to put you through unnecessary pain and suffering. You came here because you are so worried about it.

He is not satisfied with the condition you are in because of no fault of your own. Things happen, life goes on.

And where does this end? Will he insist on something "new" next year?

There should never be a second breaking of your hymen.

The worst part of this whole mess is that this guy is willing to risk HURTING, possibly LOSING you.

All because he wants his gift "rewrapped".

And sometimes I feel like a selfish husband when I get the last bit of Buttered Pecan Ice cream.

Actually, from what I know about the topic... its not the man demanding she have this... but the fact the woman who was expected to remain a virgin wanting to have it so she will be able to present herself as one.

Regardless as to the reason the Hymen was torn. As long as it's there, the appearance is clear.

No I don't subsribe to this sort of thing. Life doesn't end if a woman wasn't a virgin when we met... some were many weren't. What happened or didn't in every case hinged on her personality... not on if her hymen was intact or not.

Being this is popular in cultures with arrainged marriages, they really don't get the benefit of getting to know each other first. They may have met before... but they don't have the traditional courtship and dating process before that happens.

Read it again, Smoothy - she wants her boyfriend (and they've already had intercourse at least once) to have the "honor" of breaking her hymen:

"not so much of a culture here but he was disappointed about my broken hymen. we did not have any other partners before and he would definitely want to be the person breaking mine. he didn't mention anything about the restoration but i love to let him have the honour. he is the only man that i want to live with, and even its going to be painful, it doesn't matter, because the person is him."

Read it again, Smoothy - she wants her boyfriend (and they've already had intercourse at least once) to have the "honor" of breaking her hymen:

"not so much of a culture here but he was disappointed about my broken hymen. we did not have any other partners before and he would definitely want to be the person breaking mine. he didn't mention anything about the restoration but i love to let him have the honour. he is the only man that i want to live with, and even its going to be painful, it doesn't matter, because the person is him."

I read that... its HER wanting to do this... where did he demand it?

And besides by her words... he's alread had the honor. Surgery or not... you lose your virginity only once.

I read that....its HER wanting to do this.....where did he demand it?

And besides by her words...he's alread had the honor. Surgery or not....you lose your virginity only once.

He was disappointed because it wasn't HIM who deflowered her. So she is wanting to do this procedure and HE is going along with it.

She wants to have the surgery, let it heal , and then let him have the honor of rebreaking it. What if he says "HMMM it was just like the first time....oh well, never mind"?

He was disappointed because it wasn't HIM who deflowered her. So she is wanting to do this procedure and HE is going along with it.

She wants to have the surgery, let it heal , and then let him have the honor of rebreaking it. What if he says "HMMM it was just like the first time....oh well, never mind"?
Exactly... all the hoopla for something that some people never even notice... and it doesn't change the fact... you lose your virginity only once. You can't do it twice.

Hmm the OP hasn't been here since page 1, maybe we should wait what she has to say before we get ahead of ourselves.

What if he DOESN'T want her to get the surgery [if they've previously talked to him about this]? He wouldn't be such a jerk that most people are making him out to be.

Yeah it's kind of cruddy that he "felt disappointed"-- it's seems immature, so we have to consider his age.. no their age. If they are 17/16 then we all know that this is just a stage and they'll get over it. I don't know any 16 year olds that have the money for elective surgeries or parents who are willing to pay for it.

So in short, let's just wait what the OP has to say.

If the surgery is actually HIS idea then HE should be the one paying for it [this is assuming she's going to get the surgery whether it's a bad idea].

She is 22; he is 23. There are other problems in this relationship. This is just one and it's a "symptom" of a bigger problem.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-understand-him-better-463538.html

You sound desperate. Having the procedure for this reason sounds a bit over the top to me.
If this guy cares about you, he would tell you how ridiculous and unnecessary this idea is and let you know that it is not important, especially since you guys have already had sex.

She is 22; he is 23. There are other problems in this relationship. This is just one and it's a "symptom" of a bigger problem.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-understand-him-better-463538.html

Oh my goodness... this seems a little nuts now that I've read the other thread.

She is 22; he is 23. There are other problems in this relationship. This is just one and it's a "symptom" of a bigger problem.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-understand-him-better-463538.html"Bigger problem" is an understatement.

Just some words for the OP, you are not depending on anyone. And also, please do check out the bad things about this cosmetic surgery(rebuilding the hymen). I've heard that its side effects are going to show up when you have a baby (read it somewhere long time ago, not sure if it's true or not). What you are doing here doesn't really make sense to me. I understand that some people give so much credit to a virgin. But you and your boyfriend had your first sex right? So he knew that your hymen was broke before. And if you "rebuild" your hymen, so you are going to bleed again right? Then isn't your boyfriend going to figure out that you are faking a hymen??

Just some words for the OP, you are not depending on anyone. And also, please do check out the bad things about this cosmetic surgery(rebuilding the hymen). I've heard that its side effects are going to show up when you have a baby (read it somewhere long time ago, not sure if it's true or not). What you are doing here doesn't really make sense to me. I understand that some people give so much credit to a virgin. But you and your boyfriend had your first sex right? So he knew that your hymen was broke before. And if you "rebuild" your hymen, so you are going to bleed again right? Then isn't your boyfriend going to figure out that you are faking a hymen??

But you and your bf had your first sex right? So he knew that your hymen was broke before. And if you "rebuild" your hymen, so you are gonna bleed again right? Then isnt your bf going to figure out that you are faking a hymen???

He knows about the proposed surgery. They have discussed it.

To be honest, there is more to this story and I urge people responding to it to read her other thread that JudyKayTee posted.

Just some words for the OP, you are not depending on anyone. And also, please do check out the bad things about this cosmetic surgery(rebuilding the hymen). I've heard that its side effects are gonna show up when you have a baby (read it somewhere long time ago, not sure if it's true or not). What you are doing here doesnt really make sense to me. I understand that some people give so much credit to a virgin. But you and your bf had your first sex right? So he knew that your hymen was broke before. And if you "rebuild" your hymen, so you are gonna bleed again right? Then isnt your bf going to figure out that you are faking a hymen???


Did you read the entire thread before you posted and, also, did you read the OP's OTHER threads?

He KNOWS about the broken hymen.

(Are you another "one hit wonder" on this board? Sign on, post once, drop out of sight?)

Did you read the entire thread before you posted and, also, did you read the OP's OTHER threads?

He KNOWS about the broken hymen.

(Are you another "one hit wonder" on this board? Sign on, post once, drop out of sight?)


I've read her entire thread (well not the other one). I posted my comment because I try to help this girl out, and if my help went onto the opposite direction, then I apologize.
PS, to your last concern, now you can see that I posted more than once, so I am not what you called "one hit wonder". Thank you.