I'll make this as short as I can.

2 months ago my GF of nearly 2 years broke up with me. At the break up, she told me she didn't know what I wanted from her. Honestly, I had never told her I loved her, wasn't that affectionate, etc. I told her my walls are up because I don't want to get burned like I had in the past.
I am in love with her... but realize maybe its best to step back and really think about it before I tell her.

I run into her a couple of times... keep it casual and just say hi. About a month goes by, and I see her out late one night. We talk, she asks me to text her when I get home, so I do. She texts back saying we should get together for a drink sometime. I say OK, I'm going out of town for a couple of weeks but will be back. She texts me the day after I get back asking if I want to go to see a band we both like. I say sure. She has a medical condition which is magnified if she drinks and doesn't eat... its like she has drank 10 times the amount she has. And that's what happens so I don't get to tell her.

I finally get a chance to talk to her the next weekend. I let it all out, tell her I love her, feel I let her down, I'm sorry. She's crying, and asks me "where does this leave us?" I tell her I want to be together with her.

We agree to get together a few days later. We go to eat, end up back at her place and make out for a little while. I'm telling her how I feel, she's saying it back to me. A couple days later I ask if she wants to go to dinner, she says she doesn't feel good... I say OK, let me know if you need anything. I then don't hear from her for about 5 days. Sends me a text saying "sorry, just trying to wrap my head around everything going on. I do love you tho, very very much. we'll get together soon babe."

I find out at this point that she had started seeing someone else about 2 weeks after we split. I write her a love letter telling her how I feel.

The following weekend I drop a friend off at a bar after work, and decide to go inside. She is there with this other guy. I'm crushed and am going to just leave but end up keeping my cool. Whenever I look over at her I can tell she is not happy sitting there, every time the guy says something to her she looks at him like he's crazy.

Eventually I say screw it and I walk over, take her hand, and go out on the dance floor. She's all smiles. We end up just standing on the floor, me telling her that I love her, she's telling me she is so in love with me, etc. A friend comes and gets her and goes to the bathroom, they come out about 10 minutes later and she grabs her purse and walks out the door, with dude walking out with her. Im dumbfounded, her friend comes and talks to me and tells me that she is so in love with me but just really shocked that I told her how I felt a couple of weeks prior.

She ends up coming back inside by herself and comes right up to me. We leave and end up back at my place, she tells me the letter is the most beautiful thing she has ever read. When I take her home the next day, we were going to cookout that night. But I never hear from her. Now its 5 days later and I'm freaking out. I sent her another letter saying that Im not going to slip back to how it was, I can't now that Ive told her how I feel. I also said that if being with someone else is what she thinks is her best chance at happiness, that I will not be mad and it doesn't make her a bad person, but I need to know.

What the hell else should I do?

I think this girl doesn't know what she wants, best thing you can do is give as much space as possible and let her know that dangling you around like this is not... cool so to speak.

It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants right now but enjoys having you on the side as like a failsafe. I'm not saying she's consciousley doing things like this on purpose, but the fact that one day she says "i love you" and the next day you hear she is seeing someone else should show you that this girl is in a very confused state of mind. Give her space, like a few weeks, and don't answer her texts or calls back. You will know where you stand in a few weeks if you want to be with this girl.

I agree with The Original. This girl CLEARLY does not know what she wants. But what I do think is that she is enjoying the attention you're giving her without having the responsibilities of actually being in a relationship with you, because, lets face it, if she wanted to be with you, she would be... instead she broke up with you and is out with other guys.

She can tell you she loves you until the cows come home, but we all know actions speak louder than words and her actions are all over the place.

Give this girl space, and in the meantime, don't wait around for her. Who knows when/if she'll come around.

She's definitely confused and doesn't know what she wants. Don't confuse her further.

Step back. Don't call, e-mail or send love letters. She already knows that you love her and want her back. You've told her how you feel, now leave the ball in her court.

She lost her job about a month before we split up. I know she's really stressed, and I definitely don't want to add to that. Should I dump her off FB? I just sent the last letter to her yesterday.

She lost her job about a month before we split up. I know she's really stressed, and I definitely don't want to add to that. Should I dump her off of FB? I just sent the last letter to her yesterday.

If your going to be giving her space... and you don't want to get hurt in the meantime (ie. Finding out she's at bars with other guys-if that bothers you) than yes I would say deleting her off Facebook for the time being is a very wise decision. That way neither one of you is updated about what the other is doing, and you two can allow your brains to think clearly without emotion involved.

I'm fine with giving her space, just don't know what to do if she calls or texts me and wants to talk... I can't just ignore it, can I? If it's a frivilous text, I understand but if its something she needs to talk to me about what do I do?

You can ignore it if it bothers you. It is about you now. She ask for space, give it to her. If her contacting you bothers you tell her you need space as well. Cut off all contact.

This isn't fun is it?

Remove yourself from her or any hopes.

She's playing you. Looking out for hers.

As you should do.

Ok, it's two months later and thought I would give an update. I don't know if I'm really looking for advice or not.

I'm not going to go through all the stuff in between because it doesn't really matter. We had hung out a few times at her request, a couple of weeks ago we are out, having a good time, and then she starts saying that she is a bad person, over and over. I ask her why she thinks that... she just keeps saying it and crying.

Now at this point I don't know if it is related to me and her, this other guy and her, or something else. I did not want to get into a serious conversation about her and I, but she continued to say it. I told her that I think that this guy is suffocating her, but that he's a nice guy and she doesn't want hurt him. She said that was true. Then I asked her if the guy was at her house, she said I don't know, maybe. What the hell, does he have a freaking key? Her words "It's not like I gave him one." Keep in mind this guy is over 30 and lives at home with his mom.

Then she pops it on me, "I had to have an abortion last week." You want to talk about everything suddenly making sense. About all I could do was give her a hug, and tell her that I love her. What else do you say when someone tells you that? She hasn't told anyone else.

Now between that, still unemployed, having this guy up her , pressure from her parents about work, and just trying to scrape by she is in a complete state of depression.

Honestly, I do love her but right now all I can do is be a friend and hope that she is going to be OK. She doesn't respond for days when her friends try to get a hold of her. I backed off for a couple of weeks, now I'm just trying to keep her spirits up.

I would go NC, walk away.

She's made her bed.

Im sure she wasn't worrying to hard about you when she was sleeping with her new BF.

Now wants to cry on your shoulder.

Don't get so tangled in her mess that you are back where you started.
Don't be her shoulder to cry on. She has friends. She still has this boyfriend, leave her alone. NC

I'm fine with giving her space, just don't know what to do if she calls or texts me and wants to talk...I can't just ignore it, can I? If its a frivilous text, I understand but if its something she needs to talk to me about what do I do?

Ignore all communication possible. Show her that you are independent, your life still goes without her.

Geez guy, you make a great girlfriend for this female. To bad you want romance, when she just needs a friend through a bad time.

Geez guy, you make a great girlfriend for this female. To bad you want romance, when she just needs a friend thru a bad time.
Get a clue my man!

Was the "kid" yours?