nowwhat2do
Apr 6, 2010, 03:31 PM
My girlfriend of over a year broke it off with me about 2 months ago. She said she needed to be alone and, although she loved me, she didn't think we were right for each other at the time. The last 6 months of our relationship was long-distance (long story). We were making plans for me to move to where she was and get an apartment together. She said maybe someday we can start again but she was enjoying her time alone and her new apartment. We had drifted apart somewhat and had some communication problems. We knew that we loved each other and wanted to keep in touch.
I took it pretty badly but played it as cool as possible. I let her know how I felt and then let her initiate any contact we had. Our conversations over the last month and a half have been short and casual. We talk about every 2 weeks. We have not shared our feelings with each other and just catch up.
I have made some changes in my life and feel I am ready to make myself available to her again. I know that I can give her what she needed from me and that we would be very happy together.
Not too long ago she made more of an effort than usual to talk with me. The conversation was more of the same; short and non-personal. But I started thinking about her more and more and decided to do something about it. I sent her flowers (not roses). It was the kind of flowers you could send to any female relative or friend and it was something I was positive she would like. I didn't know how she would respond to them but sent them anyway. If the response was negative then I would know that I was wasting my time thinking about it.
She got the flowers yesterday and called me last night. She thanked me and was somewhat shocked by the whole thing but she definitely appreciated the gesture. I told her I was thinking about her and wanted to do something for her. We then talked for about 15 minutes and things seemed to get a little better. We did not get personal but the conversation went very well. I made her laugh a lot which I haven't done in a while, even though I was not trying that hard, and I could see her smiling on the other end. So I earned some points there.
I am struggling at the time but have a good job with some potential and full time hours, so I'm not a deadbeat. I have plans for my future and would do everything I can to make her comfortable and give her everything she wants out of life. But I do not have a way of seeing her unless it were on a greyhound. My plan is to ask her on a date when I am able to get down there (4 hours away) and take her out to dinner no strings attached and see what happens. I want to start over and not pick up where we left off. So pretty much it would be our first date as far as I am concerned.
My question is, what should I do next? I know I can't do anything big for a while. I am not sure if it is time to share my feelings with her yet. In fact I think it's better that I wait until we are face to face and both willing to go down that road. But I don't want to lose the momentum and find myself back at square one.
Should I wait and just let her make a move or is there something I could do that would keep her interested but not push her away?
Just a side note: I suspected there was someone else when she broke up with me but I have ruled that out now. If she had found someone else I would walk away.
I took it pretty badly but played it as cool as possible. I let her know how I felt and then let her initiate any contact we had. Our conversations over the last month and a half have been short and casual. We talk about every 2 weeks. We have not shared our feelings with each other and just catch up.
I have made some changes in my life and feel I am ready to make myself available to her again. I know that I can give her what she needed from me and that we would be very happy together.
Not too long ago she made more of an effort than usual to talk with me. The conversation was more of the same; short and non-personal. But I started thinking about her more and more and decided to do something about it. I sent her flowers (not roses). It was the kind of flowers you could send to any female relative or friend and it was something I was positive she would like. I didn't know how she would respond to them but sent them anyway. If the response was negative then I would know that I was wasting my time thinking about it.
She got the flowers yesterday and called me last night. She thanked me and was somewhat shocked by the whole thing but she definitely appreciated the gesture. I told her I was thinking about her and wanted to do something for her. We then talked for about 15 minutes and things seemed to get a little better. We did not get personal but the conversation went very well. I made her laugh a lot which I haven't done in a while, even though I was not trying that hard, and I could see her smiling on the other end. So I earned some points there.
I am struggling at the time but have a good job with some potential and full time hours, so I'm not a deadbeat. I have plans for my future and would do everything I can to make her comfortable and give her everything she wants out of life. But I do not have a way of seeing her unless it were on a greyhound. My plan is to ask her on a date when I am able to get down there (4 hours away) and take her out to dinner no strings attached and see what happens. I want to start over and not pick up where we left off. So pretty much it would be our first date as far as I am concerned.
My question is, what should I do next? I know I can't do anything big for a while. I am not sure if it is time to share my feelings with her yet. In fact I think it's better that I wait until we are face to face and both willing to go down that road. But I don't want to lose the momentum and find myself back at square one.
Should I wait and just let her make a move or is there something I could do that would keep her interested but not push her away?
Just a side note: I suspected there was someone else when she broke up with me but I have ruled that out now. If she had found someone else I would walk away.