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greeneyedbaby
Apr 2, 2010, 01:21 AM
My boyfriend and I have been together 11 months now. We have lived together pretty much the whole time. Since September we have bee living at his mom's house. In total there are 8 people that live in the house. We have talked and decided that we want to move out on our own. Here is the problem. Every time we discuss the places we have looked at or are going to look at his mom puts her 2 cents in. His mom and him are really close and I respect that, but she doesn't even see these places and she has said no to them all. I don't mind getting a second opionion on things from someone who is not as critical as I am. But I feel that every time we ask her opionion its negative. I can't decide if its because she doesn't want us to leave because she likes us living there or enjoys our rent money that's coming in. So here is the question is there some way to make a decision with him even if she is going to be negative about everything? How do you ask a guy who is a momma's boy to decide something important without her input?

kp2171
Apr 2, 2010, 01:30 AM
Well... at some point he finds a backbone or you know what you are dealing with.

Best to deal with this head on... find a place that makes sense, make your case, and then make him tell you why it doesn't work. I know you are frustrated about her input, but honestly... its his problem. He needs to be the one talking to you.

His momma isn't going to stop giving advice to her boy.

So... the boy needs to be held accountable for his own actions... and that means you need to stick to facts and concepts... advoid emotions if you can... deal with this straight up... what are you needing for a place... define it... find it... do it.

If he keeps listening to her and not you... well... you've got a pretty good picture of how he is wired.

Larken85
Apr 2, 2010, 02:28 AM
This is a pretty young relationship to be moving in together in my opinion. And there is a possibility that his mom doesn't think you are going to last but doesn't want to come right out and say it. However if she is like my mom she is a controlling you know what. She can't let anyone do anything without her say. Eventually he will get fed up with this as I did and I finally said butt the heck out. She doesn't but she does know that her opinion will not prevent me from doing something that I want to do. You need to give this guy a choice I think, just be like, you can move out with me and be my man, or you can stay with mama and be mama's little boy. (don't call him a mama's boy, its insulting and he probably doesn't feel like it is within his moral fiber to say no to her.)

talaniman
Apr 2, 2010, 07:40 AM
Talk to him not her. If he balks leave.

Haven't you been through enough with these guys with issues? Be on your own for a change. It will do you a world of good, and get you out of these kinds of situations.

Jake2008
Apr 3, 2010, 12:08 AM
The only thing the two of you should be telling her, is when you are moving out.

If your boyfriend insists on getting his mother's approval rating, then perhaps you should move out on your own.

Just my opinion, but he does not sound very mature if he cannot make a decision without her consent.