View Full Version : Had sex with a girl and later became best friends
Klumster
Mar 31, 2010, 09:24 PM
Back in January I lost my virginity to a girl I met back home. It was a very romantic night, and I wanted to wait to have sex with someone I didn't regret it with. Everything fell into place like I dreamed of my first time did and both of us never regret it. Of course it was the greatest night of my life but anyway I live in a different part of country because I'm in the military but we talked about a long distance relationship because we had such a great connection and feelings for each other but decided to just become friends instead, which has turned into best friends. I still have feelings for her, probably because she was my first, but she is also one of the coolest and sweetest girls I have ever met. I love her dearly as a friend and would do anything for her but I am stuck in the "friend zone" and wish I wasn't but I truly don't see anything going further than that. I've told her how I felt about her and she's told me how she use to feel for me and how she feels about me now (like a brother) but I've decided to just move ahead and continue on being best friends with her.
Usually it's a guy and girl who have been best friends for awhile ending up having sex together and they wonder if they are still best friends or what not but my question is what would you call two people who had sex with each other and became best friends? (It just seems kind weird lol) Also do you think if I lay low on my real feelings for her she might come back to those feelings she use to have for me?
amicon
Apr 1, 2010, 02:49 AM
Can you handle a straightforward friendship with no romantic expectations?
If you cant,you shouldn't be friends.
Romefalls19
Apr 1, 2010, 06:01 AM
As long as you can understand that it's just a friend, if not you need to step back
redhed35
Apr 1, 2010, 06:10 AM
If you wish for a relationship with her,if you have romantic feelings,friends is not going to work so well, well,from my experience.
Being stuck in the 'friend zone' with someone you have feelings for,hampers you in finding someone who wants the same as you.
I'm inclined to say,move on from the friends zone,to someone you slept with,had a good experience,but that's that.
Make way for someone else,keep you 'friendship' at arms length,don't become emotionally involved in her life.
Keep your heart underwraps.
I wish
Apr 1, 2010, 06:14 AM
If you already told her that you have "more than friends" feelings, and she doesn't return the feelings, then it's pretty clear that she doesn't want more.
There's always a possibility that she will have feelings for you one day, but setting yourself up for that expectation is only going to hurt you in the long run.
Right now, you're putting your life on hold for her, by waiting it out, while she can date whoever she wants. How is that fair?
If you can't handle a simple friendship, then keep her out of your life until your feelings for her have gone away. Otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for another heartbreak.
talaniman
Apr 1, 2010, 11:22 AM
my question is what would you call two people who had sex with each other and became best friends?
A one night stand, that has moved to being friends, mostly from your own feelings of attachment, because she doesn't have such romantic notions as you do.
(It just seems kind weird lol)
That's the way it is the first time, with someone other than a committed partner. Its good you have no regrets, just keep your own feelings from getting you carried away about your friend and expect a romance she clearly doesn't want. See it as a friendly public service to an inexperienced virgin.
Also do you think if I lay low on my real feelings for her she might come back to those feelings she use to have for me?
NO, and don't wait for her to change her mind either, as even though it's a slim chance she might, I highly doubt she felt more than just a temporary lust, and a bit of pity for a poor virgin who needed his cherry popped. Hate to be crude, but that's the reality you must cope with, so forget the romance. Keep good memories, but be practical, and move your life forward.
Klumster
Apr 1, 2010, 06:10 PM
Thanks for the responses everyone one. I kind of forgot to mention that my feelings for her as "more than friends" are fading away and I'm moving along away from her, much faster and better than I expected. I think its lessons learned from previous girls I've dated that ended up pretty much the same way except I didn't let them go for months. For some reason I'm surprised that I'm actually letting her go. In the back of my mind I'm always going to have those special feelings for her because she was my first, but I know that I got to and can move on and view her more as a "best friend" than "more than friends". We hang out a lot when we get to see each other, have lots of fun. When she told me see viewed me more as a brother than a partner I knew it wasn't going to work out from that point on. I'd rather have her as a friend than a One Night Stand and never see her again, but thank you everyone for the advices.
talaniman
Apr 1, 2010, 07:16 PM
You can be friendly when you see her without calling, or going out of your way to contact her, just stay cool and relish the memory forever, or until the next time.
Sex complicates feelings, and lust, and love are intense emotions, that are hard to tell apart, but lust fades, and love takes a lot more effort to get over, a lot more.
And there is nothing wrong with a guy waiting until he knows the female well, and with all females, use protection, in case they don't, or have had a bunch of partners that they don't tell you about.
You don't want them pregnant, or infecting you with an STD!!