Hello!

I have a question in mind right now... and I thought id get some outsiders perspectives rather than a friend's perspective on things.

So, I had 2 friends, guy and girl obviously. I liked this girl so much. I liked her since December... My feelings for this girl grew as each day passed. My feelings towards her was really strong during February and March. I knew this girl for a short span of time and I gave her my full blown trust because I believed her and I honestly thought she was a good person.

Now the guy, I have been friends for years. Probably 5. he has some flaws but I still saw him as a friend.

This is my dilemma...

One night we slept overnight a friend's place. My girl friend (not relationship wise) started acting rude and strange towards me, I thought it was school or something like that. She was also rude to me during the sleepover at my friends house.

As for my guy friend? Well, I noticed that he has been calling my girl friend a lot lately. Text, Facebook everything. I asked him twice if he liked her, he denied it twice.

The following morning, I woke up to something unsightly, my guy friend and my girl friend were rubbing their noses against each other and cuddling. This really bothered me. They both know that I have feelings for her.

It was later that day, that they confessed to me that there dating. Of course my feelings got hurt. They kept it from me for 1 whole week.

So I guess my question to this board is this,

Do any of you think I should be friends with them again?

I mean I will admit, they betrayed my trust. To an extent, they disrespected me... I understand that people fall in love, but the fact that they have been keeping this from me is something else. Maybe they were afraid to tell me ahead? I don't know, I'm just dissapointed in both of them.

Did you actually have a romantic relationship with this "girl" friend or did you just express an interest in casual conversation? :confused:

If you did have a romantic relationship with her, you have a right to be really ticked off and hurt. :mad: If your friend actually went behind your back and took your girl, I don't think it'd be easy to stay friends with either one of them.

BUT if you only had expressed a little bit of interest that hadn't really blossomed into a romantic relationship, I think they were free to get involved. In that case, you should wish them well.

Even though they could have told you sooner that they were dating, it won't change the fact that they are together. Not all couples want to announce their relationship the second they start dating. They will start telling people when they become comfortable sharing the news.

You can't stop them from being together. So this boils down to an internal battle. The question is, how much does it bother you? If you can't get passed these betrayal feelings, then find new friends.

Otherwise, let it go and move forward with your life.

Devorameira - I was the one who liked her, but she didn't like me back. However, she knows that I have feelings for her. I already told her before the incident. Yes, I will agree with you that they have a right to date because there is no commitment between me and her. However, it really ticks me off as well because this girl is my best friend. She became my best friend in such a short span of time. I mean, She tells me everything about herself and as do I. It just bothers me that she couldn't tell me straight up that she was interested in my friend. She couldve told me that she has feelings for my friend.

I wish - I am no expert in relationships but to be honest, that is the first time I've heard that couples would not go out immedietly. Honest to god. Maybe that's the case.

As for my feelings? Same thing I said to Devorameira, it really bothers me that I trusted them so much and yet they do this behind my back. It's not about the relationship aspect rather what concerns me is friendship as well. Friendship is also based on trust. They couldve told me first, not ask my permission but at least let me know.

By the way, thank you both for your insights

I think you let this go, as for whatever reason they chose to keep secrets its really their business. Besides you wrote that you noticed things going on before, so what's so surprising that you were right? Let them do there thing, why not? I can understand your feelings though, as you feel left out, and you are in some ways. But get over this, and get your own thing going.

Don't worry bud, keep your head up... someone who is right for you will come along sooner than later... trust me. I never believed it, it will happen

Maybe they didn't say anything to you because they knew how you felt, but you had no claim on the girl.
If it bothers you leave them alone otherwise get over it. I'm sure they did not maliciously set out to hurt you.

The pain will go away, perhaps distance yourself from them until you are over it. I know that has helped me in the past before