I live in WI and I have left an abusive marriage of 22 yrs. We have 4 children. One is out of the house. My husband has always told me he would ruin my life if I left him, he has done the most unbelievable things to me since I left a yr ago. I did not take the kids w/me. I was sure the judicial system would help me. They have let me and the children fall between the cracks and have not helped.
I have only seen my children a few weekends within the past year. All has ended with their father calling child abuse on me. I get investigated and then exonerated each time. His newest statement in court is to say I am not mentally sound. I was court ordered basically to prove I am solid and normal. Through all the counseling, psychologists and psychiatrists that I had to see, I am deemed normal and very stable. I am not only aware of the abuse I endured for 22 yrs, but also was told by these professionals that he is a narcissist who crosses into sociopath. I will never win my children back. They believe all the stories from him about me and my 4 kids want nothing to do w/me. He has exhausted me, financially and physically. Should I stop fighting for my kids? Am I harming them more? He does put them in the middle terribly. They don't want to see me or talk to me. Co parenting will never work with his personality disorder. Am I on the right track to think about giving up my parental rights ?

1 it goes hard often against a mother who will leave a home ( esp for abuse) and leave their kids. So the courts will be against you often just from its culture.

Why don't you have visits set up by the court ? After a year you should have a child custody and support agreement

You cannot give up your rights. Only a court can terminate parental rights and they are very reluctant to do so. You are not required to exercise your rights if you don't want to.

However, you made a big mistake by leaving without the kids. I don't know if you consulted an attorney before leaving, you should have. As Chuck said, it will appear to the courts that YOU abandoned your children.

Whether you want to fight for your kids is a decision only you can make. If you want to give up that's up to you. But don't expect the court to terminate your rights.

1 it goes hard often against a mother who will leave a home ( esp for abuse) and leave their kids. So the courts will be against you often just from its culture.

Why don't you have visits set up by the court ? after a year you should have a child custody and support agreement

We have never made it past temporary court orders. I had visitation, he started calling the police claiming abuse. The county would suspend my visitation until they investigated. I was always exonerated and visitation would start again. Then he started claiming I was mentally unstable. The county ordered supervised visits only, at the mall in the food court for 1 hour a week. A custody study has been done including a full mental evaluation. I pasted everything with flying colors. I fear what he will throw at me next!
I stayed in an abusive marriage for 22 yrs for my kids. It became too much... all I could take. I never on this earth could imagine I would lose my children.

You cannot give up your rights. Only a court can terminate parental rights and they are very reluctant to do so. You are not required to exercise your rights if you don't want to.

However, you made a big mistake by leaving without the kids. I don't know if you consulted an attorney before leaving, you should have. As Chuck said, it will appear to the courts that YOU abandoned your children.

Whether you want to fight for your kids is a decision only you can make. If you want to give up that's up to you. But don't expect the court to terminate your rights.

I have fought for my kids for a year now. The more I fight, the more he throws at me. As for abandonment, I am still hanging in there. I AM STILL HERE!
This is my concern, the kids are so in the middle. They don't want to see me.