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chamie
Mar 27, 2010, 04:20 AM
Hello Everyone,

Allow me to start with a greetings of a pleasant day to each of the reader. I am new in posting my situation in life in any forums as I just keep my problem within myself. Though I am working online as a freelance home based work, well to start my so called problem or should I say burden in life...

My love is I simply consider a fairy tale though thinking it doesn't exist as we have to deal with reality.Before I married my husband he was my long time or childhood crush and I keep it myself not even him knew it, we are friends but the ussual I didn't show him that I had felt something special to him till I got 25 years old. A long years of silence about the feelings until one of my friends told him and he confront me about it then I told him everything not even expecting of him to love me back. Until he always contacted me through my phone texting everyday that I don't even knew what happen to him of doing that since we are not texting each other for so long years...

To make the story short we had a relationship after the process of courtship and everything went fast until he told me to sleep and live with him in his family. At first everything went good and nice with his family I move in to his house along with my computer and since I had in the right age my mom go along with my decision. We were together for 1 year that time living with his family. I work grave hours online and he work daytime but I make sure that I can take care of him and prepared the things he wants as he was going to work everyday. I never thought that the happy feeling of living with his family will end until his mother create a stories over me to her auntie in Norway that I'm not providing anything to his family financially in which a big lie as I buy food for them, pay some bills, and even treat his family the ussual thing I did when I had money...

Then his auntie wants us to leave the house and find a place to rent so I ask my hubby in my boyfriend that time to find a place where we can rent and live. We start from scratched as we leave the house thankful of I save some of salary and buy everything that is needed.. Living for another year with my boyfriend is huge and challenging part in my life.

For a record guys at the very first living with him in his house unto the place we rent I didn't ask any money from him not even his salary. He only pay the water and electricity bills, and rest is all for me to pay especially to the food we eat. And people still let me down creating rumors over me thinking that I don't even go out since I am only working online.

Her auntie arrived here in the Philippines for vacation last year and talk to me and she decide to make our relationship official with the blessing of marriage take the chance that they are here to witnessed it.Again everything was a rush until we got married last JULY 24 of 2009. I thought that would end up with the hateful things the her mother felt towards me in which the only fact that my husband's concerned is his LOLA as he grew with his lolo and lola not on his mother.

I know this story is lenghty enough to read but I just want to say everything in here, for you guys give me advice with my situation, my problem since is my husband living with is not I felt perfect, he has lots of principles in life that is not good in a relationship.Even is we are apart to his family he always go out in the house and like to stay in the house of his family leaving me alone with my computer. After work and after dinner he always make sure that what we eat he always shares it to his family, and make it a reason to go out. Sometime we fought for this matter and even told me that he gets bored in the house and the staying in the house is hot like that... We still don't have a child to take care with. He also let the family of his cousin live with us for me to have someone in the house. I don't know how to live this kind of life. I just keep quite even if its offending in my end all the things he was doing for his family but when it comes to my family he don't want me to help. I sometimes let my mom come over in the house t give her money making sure that my husband is at work... I don't even have time to go out because as I'm going to like going to the grocery store he always txting me to go home early like that...

Hope any of your guys can enlightened me to my situation right now as I am longing for advice... Thanks Guys in advance

JudyKayTee
Mar 27, 2010, 06:24 AM
I will admit that I did not read this entire post but I am troubled by the phrase "until he told me to sleep and live with him in his family... "

Your relationship seems to be controlled by everyone but you - him, his family, his distant relatives. You lived together until one of his relatives more or less demanded that you marry?

What do you want to do? Are you better with him or without him? Is divorce an option?

chamie
Mar 27, 2010, 07:25 PM
Thanks for the respond,, I stand my responsibilities as wife to him and work as a provider in the family but what I'm confuse of it in spite of the things I've done to make the marriage work it seems that he and his family put me down and didn't appreciate what I'm doing and to him I felt that he spends more time with his family,friends and to his hubby of cock fighting leaving me to one side alone... I'm a little confuse right now...

JudyKayTee
Mar 28, 2010, 07:19 AM
A marriage which is coming apart will not "heal" when only one party is trying.

You must decide what you want to do and then do it - and that could include counseling of some sort.

Cock fighting? I didn't know it was legal in the Philippines but if it is or isn't, that would be enough to drive me out of the house.