The weight of a relationship I feel will always fall on the shoulders of the man. I’m not saying the woman’s role isn’t as important, because to me she has to be my equal. But the success or failure of the relationship is judged by what the man has or hasn’t done. Do you think society places too much pressure on men, thus causing some to do what they do?

Do you think society places too much pressure on men, thus causing some to do what they do?Hello doc:

Nahhh. If anything, more pressure is brought to bear on the females, in my opinion.

excon

[QUOTE=excon;2290654]Hello doc:

Nahhh. If anything, more pressure is brought to bear on the females, in my opinion.

Why do u feel like that?

why do u feel like that?Hello again, doc:

It's really too deep to take up here... But, suffice to say, that a woman's role in our society is constantly changing, and that makes it real hard to keep up. Men, on the other hand, have had the same roles since cave man days: Get food. Bring home.

excon

Hello again, doc:

It's really too deep to take up here... But, suffice to say, that a woman's role in our society is constantly changing, and that makes it real hard to keep up. Men, on the other hand, have had the same roles since cave man days: Get food. Bring home.

excon

Whoa. Ok I have to draw a line here with that statement. I believe the fathers of today take a much more active role in child rearing then in days of old. Its unfortunate that the courts share your same value as the man being the breadwinner and not having ability to raise children. But in today's time I feel its very different then it used to be. A dad IS NOT just a walking wallet in a custody battle.

I think you can thank the illuminati for this, they've done a great job at destroying the nuclear family.
JMO
So don't shoot me LOL...

Woahh...

Excon never said that a man cannot rear a child, (correct me if I am wrong) just that he is expected to work. That hasn't changed since the dawn of man.

Women on the other hand get the short end, they have different expectations every decade, a whole new lifestyle.

Personally I believe that men and women are equal, however each, within a relationship or family, have different responsibilities. Some couples choose to have one parent work and the other stay home because they want to raise their child that way. Other couples work on both ends and hire a nanny. Some even balance the work on different shifts so that the child is always around a parent, however, they both can still work.

No matter how you do it, each person within a relationship will serve a different role (not just bringing up a child, not a specific role) and in turn will have different pressures. Each may look at the other and say mine is easier or harder, but the reality is what you see as pressure may or may not be the same thing your spouse will see as pressure.

I don't think there's one easy way to judge it.

Different expectations, how the roles within a relationship play out, and other factors will generally give clue to where the weight of the relationship lies.

Man's role has not changed much. Any added responsibilities are probably things men should've been doing anyway.

The biggest change I see is that men have the added burden of women's choice. In that I mean that Excon is right ;men are the hunter gatherers that they have been since we were knuckle draggers.The added role men play is directly related to the choices the woman makes. Whether they decide to be stay at home moms or take on a career outside the home ;it is the role of the man to be in a position that the woman has the choice.

Society does seem to be much harder on men just for being men, just look at the media and shows such as "Everybody Loves Raymond" for example. There would never be a show with the husband treating his wife that way.

The weight of a relationship I feel will always fall on the shoulders of the man. I'm not saying the woman's role isn't as important, because to me she has to be my equal. But the success or failure of the relationship is judged by what the man has or hasn't done. Do you think society places too much pressure on men, thus causing some to do what they do?

If you are talking specifically about "the relationship," I would say no. Men and women experience different pressures. But I think women generally feel more responsibility to try to make a relationship work while it's in progress. Men tend not to give the relationship as much attention until the oil gage lights up. (On average; obviously not true of everyone).

BUT I would say that many boys are not as well prepared for making a relationship work. We spend hundreds of hours teaching our sons to hit a baseball or shoot baskets, but how much time do we spend teaching them that personal relationships are just as much about teamwork as any ball game. That means passing the ball and being there to receive it. It means paying attention, sharing the glory, and all those good things. I think too many boys are taught that their life partner is there to make their life easier. When she wants more of a partner, men feel confused and betrayed.

That's not to say women don't have their faults. Judging from this message board, I'd say the principal fault of women is not taking responsibility for their choices. But of course there are really important reasons that's so, not least that women were disenfranchised until recently. I.e, until 100 years ago, women didn't really have any choices. These social realities don't go away in a couple of generations.

Man's role has not changed much. Any added responsibilites are probably things men should've been doing anyway.

The biggest change I see is that men have the added burden of women's choice. In that I mean that excon is right ;men are the hunter gatherers that they have been since we were knuckle draggers.The added role men play is directly related to the choices the woman makes. Whether they decide to be stay at home moms or take on a career outside the home ;it is the role of the man to be in a position that the woman has the choice.

Tom,
I'm not going to argue with the substance of what you are saying, but I do have to point out that in traditional hunter gatherer societies, it is usually the women who do the gathering (not the men). Furthermore, the gatherers (mostly women) typically supply 60 to 90% of the calories of a tribe of hunter gatherers. On the other hand, we are nearly all descended from agricultural societies that have been in existence for about 10,000 years. It's not at all clear how people lived before that or how much of our social structure has been altered by farming.

Edit: In other species of animals, the relations between sexes are STRONGLY affected by resources. Just to give one example, in a bad year, foxes on an Alaskan island are monogamous. In a good year, they are not. You can see similar patterns in all kinds of species.