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View Full Version : She's not ready for a relationship and now she has a boyfriend


JasonX101
Mar 25, 2010, 07:53 PM
Right OK guys I'm 16 and extreemly hung up on this one girl. I don't get girlfriends much, I mean I'm friends with tons of girls but when it comes to serious relationships I become rather picky with the girls I choose even though I believe that everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way. Basically my problem lies with this one girl. I knew her back in my first school until she moved to Italy when we were around 6 years old and recently she moved back to study at college. Since then we've been talking and meeting up quite a bit and I told her how I felt about her and from what she said to me I felt that the feeling was mutual I was ovbiously dead wrong. She told me that she liked me a lot more than a friend, but was not ready for a relationship because she pretty much got sexually harassed last year back in Italy. That was fair enough I had no problem with that and was prepared to help and support her 100% of the way until she felt ready to give me a chance. From then on all was well I'd tell her how special she was to me and so on as well as some major flirting bck and forth staying up till like 2 every night talking to each other through msn. A couple months passed and she began talking to me about other guys she knew back in Italy that tried to get in her pants so that they could brag about it to their friends because she's an extreemly pretty girl. Shed explained that she was annoyed with them because they kept asking her out and wouldn't understand that she wasn't ready. I found this a little uncomfortable to begin with but brushed it off thinking that it doesn't matter because I was the only one that meant something to her. And then recently she started talking to the other guy... Callum. She began meeting with him instead of me and it became more and more frequent until I hardly ever saw her and all shed talk to me about was him. After saying all the things she did to me about how nice I was and how sweet I was. Me telling her I'd never leave her as a friend as the Italians did because she wasn't interested in them. She's now going out with callum. I'm hurt you know? Feel like she just messed me around to get her own sick enjoyment. I really like her and now I feel worthless. I feel even more pathetic because I'm on here moaning to absolute strangers about this crap instead of going out and sorting my own god damn life out but I can't. I'm stuck here. When I confronted her about their relationship she eventually claimed he was doing her a favour to avoid problems with other guys. I cn get that but considering she wasn't ready for a relationship she hasn't hesitated to show how much they love each other on Facebook and then posts things about how she's fed up with trying to please everyone else. Wt the hell is going on here? Am I in the wrong or what I don't consider myself to be bad looking or weird or anything yet she screws me up like this? I dno it's really got me down. I'm kind of asking for answers but I already know what I gta do and that's leave it all alone but I'm thinking more emotionally than logicaly and it's hard to break that. Me and this girl are no longer on talking terms at this moment in time and she doesn't understand why I'm annoyed with her so I mean what do you guys think? I could do with some advice or guidance. Thanks people that was a lot to read lol.

Cheers

Jas

Larken85
Mar 25, 2010, 11:23 PM
Have you told her that the real reason you are so ticked off is because you put in the time and effort to help her heal. That you put your life on hold until she was ready and then she just ups and goes with someone else. If she was not interested she should have not led you on like that. That's bull crap. Sorry to say it. And you're right, I say walk away. Go give your time to someone more deserving. Someone who isn't just a selfish little girl. Sorry if that was a little embrasive but man let me tell you I'd be so angry with her. I might have sent her a nasty little message telling her how big of a mistake she made and that she won't ever have a chance to ruin a great thing with you ever again. Man that ticks me off and it didn't even happen to me. That's bull crap

amicon
Mar 26, 2010, 12:05 AM
Though she liked you as a friend,she didn't want you as a boyfriend.

The two of you weren't on the same page and even though you're feeling hurt,and angry you should let it go.

Stop checking out her pictures,chalk it up to experience and move on with your life.

JasonX101
Mar 26, 2010, 05:01 AM
Hey guys thanks for your answers I appreciate the input some of the things she said led me to believe that something would happen? I dno maybe I was deliorious anyway she's sent me a message explaining that she doesn't know how she's pissed me off bla bla... I ain't prepared to argue with her, f**k that I hate arguments. I think it's just the case of sticking out our friendship until I either meet another girl or eventually come to terms with what's going on thanks guys

Any more comments will be appreciated though

Cheers

Jas

talaniman
Mar 26, 2010, 06:11 AM
That's what happens when you presume and assume. You did so much in your mind because you assumed by "more than a friend" meant you had a chance for romance. No she didn't do you wrong, you got carried away by your own high expectations, because more than a friend was romance to you, but best friends to her.

You presumed that the attention, and support with her problems ,would get you romance, and expected it to lead to more, it did, better friends at a time she needed one. But like most creatures we nurse back to health, once they are all better, they take their freedom, and new found strength, and run with it. Do you go see a doctor, after your broken arm has healed? Of course not, you go back to playing your sport.

That's all she is doing, so put your disappointment back in your pocket, and see that you made a friend, and the only screwing over was you getting carried away with your own wants, and needs, that lead you down this path. You were so distracted by what you wanted you never paid attention to being in the friend zone, and the clue was the way she opened up about other guys.

No sir, she didn't screw you over, your just disappointed at the way things worked out, and could stand to make adjustments, to let your friend know exactly what happened.

That's at the bottom of all this really, you were laying in the weeds waiting for her to heal, so you could get what you wanted, which was romance, instead of being honest. Then she could have saved you all that grief you went through, and the disappointment now.

Really you screwed her over, as she thought you were a good friend who really cared, but you were a guy with a hidden agenda. A selfish one at that.

She will probably be grateful for your friendship for a long time, if you can get over yourself, and see through your own hurt, and disappointment.