How do I get my boyfriend to trust me, we have been going out for over 13 yrs, we have been on and off as we stay thousands of miles apart, last yr he came down to mine and I told him I was seeing someone else, and that I think I was in love with him. Only part of that was true, but that I love this other person more than I love him was a lie, as I have never been able to love anything else more than him since we started going out.

He said it was OK with him, I walked away with anger because I hoped he would ask me not to leave. It has been a yr now, but I still love him and miss him, I know he is my soul mate, I have called him and apologised. He told me he still loves me, but can't trust me again. Do u think I want him more because he said no or is there anything else I can do to make him take me back.

You could start by NOT lying, and trying to manipulate him to be jealous.

After 13 years, you still seem like you only recently started dating. If your relationship hasn't progress in 13 years, I doubt another 13 years will make much of a difference.

Sort out the issues or go your separate ways. Quit dragging things out.

Hello cupcakes,

First off, lying to men is not going to get you any where! It will only seal your fate! Trust me, one thing that I have learned with men over time is that trying to make them jealous is NOT a good thing!

You ask,"How do I get my boyfriend to trust me?" Well, after lying to him about being in love with another man, then trying to make him jealous, why should he?

Put yourself in his position, would you trust him if he did that to you?

I know it is going to be hard for him to trust me again, I could move on, but I just feel like I am doing the wrong thing. I just feel my life is going to be incomplete without him.

Maybe is just me thinking like that. Maybe he is better of without me. But what if am wrong, what if we are meant for each other?

You feel its wrong to move on, but not wrong to lie, and manipulate? Come on, you blew it big time, and this is the price you pay.

If your meant to be together you will be, maybe not in this decade though, as you never know. For sure, if you stoop to begging, and pleading, which is all you have let, you will only make him see that HE made a good choice in leaving you alone.

Why not focus on being a better you, in case he, or someone else, wants to take a better look. What ifs are for confused people, and that's what has to change. What if he finds someone who is already ready for what he wants, who doesn't lie, or try to make him jealous?

The reason you might have a difficult time moving on is because you've been with him for 13 years. You've built a comfort zone and you may have forgotten about what life was like without him.

I think the first step is to recognize that it's time to step out of that comfort zone. Breaking up comes second. And finding happiness outside of your comfort zone will come third.

Thanks