Hi, Im 27yrs old and have a child who is nearly 7yrs. When I got pregnant myself and my child's father had already split and but we remained friends that would bring my child up and get along. My ex partner moved out of the city we lived before the birth but was there for the birth and also was there up to my child being 5months old. He would come every couple of weeks to see him but then after the 5months he came over to to tell me he was leaving and couldn't be a part in my child's life.

I was devastated and was suffering from depression so when he did this I went in to complete melt down. I muddled through with support from family and I never stopped my child from seeing his fathers family as I believe its not there fault that he left and while I make my child's decisions he will always have contact with family on both sides.

Acouple yrs past and I woke up one day to find it didn't hurt anymore, I have never once had anyone bad mouth my child's father as I believe my child doesn't need to hear about all the hurt this caused. His father has always paid for his child and there is no bad feeling what so ever.

However, yesterday I found out that my child now has a half brother, born mothering weekend just gone. I don't know what to do for the best. I have to and want to tell him as my child will see pics at his grannys house and the new child will see pics of my child when me is older and they will both wonder and I think want contact. I don't know if to wait until I find out if his dad is allowing him to have contact (mild contact) being a couple of pics here and there or to just tell him, and let him send the pics to his grannys house and she will pass them on. Then its up to my child's farther weather or not he keeps them for the new baby and introduces early on that he has a half, older brother or he may put them in the bin and ignore the fact. Either way the two will wonder in yrs and want contact. If I wait for my child's father to say yes he can have contact or no he cant, if he does say no, I will have to break it to my child and hurt him.

I have had conversations with my child about how we have a lfe with my partner who my son adores but calls him by his first name as I don't believe he should call him dad until he is older enough to make that decision himself and how his dad has a life with his partner and they may have a baby one day. My child didn't really batter an eyelid. I was expecting lots of questions as to why daddy can look after one child and not him. The only thing my child did say was I know I can't see and kid daddy might have until I am older and big but can I buy him a present and send pics. What do I do?? Will be greatfull for any comments or advice. Just want what's best for him and I don't want him hurt or resenting his dad as resentment results in hurt. Colcol

May I also add, when my child asked where his dad was I told him that his dad couldn't be a full time fixture because of living away and work etc so he thought it would be best if he took a back seat and let me bring you up so you had a stable life and not confused or upset when seeing dad very little.