PDA

View Full Version : Relationship


nagen
Mar 16, 2010, 07:59 AM
I am in my late 30's. I have come from another country and therefore have never known dating etc. I am married with kids. After my last kids was born, I was seeing a doctor for medical purposes regularly. I fought with my husband every day after my kid was born. I was not implementing what the doctor advised and the doctor was getting annoyed at every visit. One day he was really mad at me and then gave some excuses. Some how after that he started being nice to me. Once his assistant she made me talk and I told some trivial things happening at home. He never behaved inappropriately but from that time onwards I have a feeling he was having fun at my expense. He would be doing childish gestures to catch my attention. At first I thought it was part of the procedure but I would find his assistant laughing so hard behind him. Normally he would be in the room for couple of minutes but after this, my appointments got lengthier. I avoided looking at him, he would sit there for a very long time. I don't know what he would do, I guess he was just whiling away the time. I would catch his assistants smiling but I never really understood the culture here to understand anything. Like an idiot I kept going and going to him. I did not inform my husband as I thought the doctor was treating me as though I was special. On the last day of my visit, his assistant gave me lot of assorted candies in a ziploc bag. After that he did the work but there was no assistant. There was no inappropriate behavior. The only thing, I was about to leave and he asked me to wait, he said he will check me out and he just sat there writing the chart for a few minutes. I got the candies home for my kids and my husband was surprised they gave me candies. I don't recollect anyone getting candies in his office. I stopped going back to his office.
After several months when the problems in the home became intolerable. I went back to his office one day and made a fool of myself. He called my husband and in polite terms told him that I needed attention. I have come back a long way from there. My relationship with my husband has improved. In my country any minor incident outside of marriage is taken very seriously. I was raised the same way. Therefore I cannot accept that I acted so wrong. It is also bothering me that my kids and my family suffered so much because for six months I was not concentrating on my family. I was so depressed. It also bothers me that the doctor and his family are doing wonderful. I am angry at the doctor because he knew I was having problems at home and that I was in depression. I know legally there is nothing he did wrong but he should not have impressed himself on me at that stage in life. I went to psychiatrist for couple of visits, she was from my country and she told me I was lucky that I did not get divorced. She said I had postpartum depression and that I was hallucinating about the whole thing.

talaniman
Mar 16, 2010, 08:19 AM
You are so vague about what's going on, I really have no clue what you are talking abouts so some questions

What specifically did the doctor do to make you think you were special?

What did you do or say to the doctor that made you feel foolish?

What problems are you seeing the doctor for? And what kind of doctor is he?

What kind of problems did you have at home?

Why does his family doing well bother you?

Need answers to understand.

nagen
Mar 16, 2010, 09:14 AM
The doctor did not say anything special. He would be doing childish gestures. Like swaying his head from side to side. I would find his asistant laughing hard behind him. You should know that he was very professional earlier. That's why it freaked me out the first time I saw him behaving like that. I went to him for many years and he has always been professional until I spoke about some trivial matters of my home to his assistant in his presence. His appointments got longer. Earlier he would be in for couple of minutes but later he would spend about more than ten minutes in the room. He would sit there in the room and I have no clue what he would be doing. I always had assistants in the room when he was working but on the last day, there were no assistant. I never got candy in his office, so my husband was surprised they gave me assorted candy in a ziploc bag on the last day. Except for the candy I have no proof. Only his assistants know the truth if I was imagining or he was having fun within the rules of the system.

Lucky098
Mar 16, 2010, 09:23 AM
I don't think post partum causes delusions.. But I could be wrong.

You're post is confusing and completely off the subject of relationships.

nagen
Mar 16, 2010, 09:54 AM
I do apologize for posting in the relationships section. I don't know where to post it. Everything about this whole thing is vague. You have to understand my life revolved around my husband, kids and job. I never had any friends. I quit my job after my kid was born and still did not make any friendships. I did not know anything about dating or anything on the other side of life. In fact we did not have TV at our home for several years. I guess the doctor became aware of it. He would be conducting these experiments like one day he sent the assistant to get something and he would try it on when she got it and say it was not a good fit. Then he would send her again to get with some other specification and again he would say it is was not a good fit when she came back. He kept doing that for more than couple of times. Each time she left, I was feeling uneasy, I was just waiting for her to return. You see he was very knowledgeable, he never went wrong with any specification earlier. So it was out of the way that he kept sending her so many times. The foolish thing is instead of informing my husband, I thought he was treating me special. Over the period of several months, slowly I started getting feelings for the doctor which was not conventional, it was the first time I was understanding the other side of life. That's why I feel so guilty because if I had to loose my innocent thoughts then it had to be my husband and not the doctor.

talaniman
Mar 16, 2010, 09:57 AM
What specifically did the doctor do to make you think you were special?

What did you do or say to the doctor that made you feel foolish?

What problems are you seeing the doctor for? And what kind of doctor is he?

What kind of problems did you have at home?

Why does his family doing well bother you?

Need answers to understand.

nagen
Mar 16, 2010, 10:04 AM
I don't want to give out the details. I don't want to leave a trail. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist. I will take an appointment.

nagen
Mar 16, 2010, 10:14 AM
I just don't want all the details to be on the internet.