My boyfriend has been telling me he loves me, AT FIRST I just pretended not to hear him, thought he'd get the hint.

When he didn't, I told him "Pat, I enjoy being with you and hope we last a while but I am just not ready to say "I love you" back to you. I don't know if or when I will be. I hope you understand."

He hugged me, kissed my hand, then had to go to class. I haven't been able to talk to or see him since then, but he didn't seem upset.

Did I go about this the right way?


What I want to know is if I went about this the right way or I should've handled this better

In all fairness without merging your previous posts, most of us are not going to know if its right or wrong.

And that's a big job so be patient as we get the whole thing straight and any help in that regard is more than welcome.

So what has happened the last few weeks since your break up and dating? Is this a new guy, or what. Details.

This has nothing to do with any previous posts, this is a new guy, I've never even mentioned him on here before.


This new guy has been a friend of mine for the past school year, and been the only guy to truly treat me "well." I decided that what I wanted was to be happy. So when he asked me out at a dance we were working at for teens with special needs, I agreed. He is the kind of guy who believes in treating a woman like a princess, but not being overbearing. We aren't rushing anything. Except he started saying he loves me, and it made me uncomfortable because I am not ready to feel or say that toward anyone yet.

I've seen him at his worst and his best, seen him angry and seen him ecstatic. I like him. I enjoy being with him and like having him in my life.

Honesty is the best policy, and I'm glad you moved on from your ex. That was quick. Must have beem all that dating.

Honesty is the best policy, and I'm glad you moved on from your ex. That was quick. Must have beem all that dating.

Being that were to be married, and I to have his baby, I'm not sure that I ever will be completely "over" him. I told my new boyfriend this, and he understands.

I just don't want to rush into anything. Including saying "I love you."

I don't feel it, and won't say what I don't feel. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to rush. With my x, we rushed into everything.

I want to take things slow for once, as does my new boyfriend

Make sure you have healed from your breakup before becoming involved with someone else.

This sounds like a rebound to me.

my x girlfriend was a rebound. This isn't.
I just want to know if I was in the right for telling him I'm not ready instead of just saying it

You did the right thing Emop. However, it's still too soon after your breakup to get into a serious relationship.

I know J...

E-mop
My opinion is that it's a huge Red Flag for HIM to be saying this to you already ,

* he knows you've just split up with your fiancé

* he knows that your pregnant with your ex's child

* he should know not to pressure you into anything this early

Sorry but I really think if you want him as a friend fair enough , but that's all he should be at the moment , otherwise we're just going to have you back here in a few month's saying that you haven't only lost another BF but you'll also have lost him as a friend.

Plenty of time later on down the track once the dust has settled.

Anyway that's just my opinion :)



Edit: Oh and sorry I didn't answer your original question , yes I think you did the right thing ;)

M, just to clear something up, she's not pregnant, she was but she lost the baby.

E-Mop, since your break up you've gone on a date with a guy that you really liked, but he's older then you. Then that guy was out and your ex girlfriend was in. Now she's out and there's another new guy.

My head is spinning.

Didn't you just break up with your boyfriend?

You say you want to take things slow but all I see is you speeding to jump from the frying pan into the fire.

I think it would be best if you just didn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend for a while. Spend some time dating yourself. :)

M, just to clear something up, she's not pregnant, she was but she lost the baby.



Oops... must of missed that along the way :rolleyes:

Mind you , with all due respect , maybe a blessing in disguise :cool:

Oops..................... must of missed that along the way :rolleyes:

Mind you , with all due respect , maybe a blessing in disguise :cool:

Yes, I agree.

I'm looking at all of this from experience. I was the girl that dated a lot (shh M, no comment ;)). It didn't get me anything but heartbreak and a bad reputation.

There's nothing wrong with being alone for a while. It did me a world of good. :)

Emop, I think in regards this situation taken as a sole island you did the right thing in being honest.

But as a whole I do think that you are rushing.

However, I worry for this new boy too. Who doesn't get upset when they say 'I love you' and doesn't hear it back?
No one!

Who says they love someone no-time into a relationship especially when they know what you've come from?

There's a lyric from a song that I think says it down to a T

'The shadow that your standing's on still here sometimes that's all that you can ask, and your heart's still beating'

It's by Josh Ritter 'Still Beating' you should have a listen, I think it's a great song, but that's just me... so I've got a bit off point here...

Just be careful you only get one heart and if your not careful you're going to spend a long time trying to repair damage you haven't dealt with fully. You are the only one that can heal you, no knight in shining armour. No matter how willing he is.

You need to take steps back and heal and get your own life in order. You have had a rough trek this past year and you need to relax

You absolutely did the right thing by being honest about your feelings.

You've gotten some great advice here and hope you listen to it.. you really need to heal from your past relationships before you start a new one.

Thank you all, you guys are right.

M, just to clear something up, she's not pregnant, she was but she lost the baby.

E-Mop, since your break up you've gone on a date with a guy that you really liked, but he's older then you. Then that guy was out and your ex girlfriend was in. Now she's out and there's another new guy.

My head is spinning.

Didn't you just break up with your boyfriend?

You say you want to take things slow but all I see is you speeding to jump from the frying pan into the fire.

I think it would be best if you just didn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend for a while. Spend some time dating yourself. :)

That one guy, the older one, was actually using me. I found that out recently.

Threads merged
I got into a serious relationship and I want out. How do I break it to him?

Yyyyaaaaaaayyyyy!!

Umm... not much help WG. Haha

I was getting to the advice part, but had to cheer first.

If you're not afraid of his reaction (physical abuse), break with him in person.

Be as detached as you can be. I personally would not allow myself to cry or emote in any way, so the breakup is clean and honest. If you cry and carry on, he'll think you don't really mean it and will try to manipulate you back into his embrace.

He isn't manipulative or anything. He's really sweet and nice. Treats me more like a sister than a girlfriend. I want to still be friends, he's a great guy. But I'm not ready to be in a long term relationship again

he isn't manipulative or anything. he's really sweet and nice. Treats me more like a sister than a girlfriend. I want to still be friends, he's a great guy. but I'm not ready to be in a long term relationship again
Keep it short and sweet and positive. Are you basically friends with benefits now?

No, we are very huggy friends... we have minimal physical relationship. We kiss, like Disney G-rated kiss. And hug.

No, we are very huggy friends... we have minimal physical relationship. We kiss, like Disney G-rated kiss. and hug.
So do you want to "break up" (whatever that means if you aren't really a couple) or just keep the relationship at this level? I don't get it. (I'm old, though.)

We are technically an official couple. But he doesn't treat me like a girlfriend. And we act just like friends. Other than he kisses me.

I want to break up with him. He wants to be a serious relationship, I don't

I want to break up with him.
You said you want to be friends. What does "break up" mean?

He wants to be a serious relationship, I don't
So just tell him no.

Why the drama?

I already agreed to be in a serious relationship with him, for what reason I have no idea. And technically we are. But I don't want to be. I don't know how to tell him

I already agreed to be in a serious relationship with him, for what reason i have no idea. And technically we are. but I don't want to be. I don't know how to tell him

Just tell him that you thought about it and you still don't believe that you are ready for a commitment of this magnitude.

I already agreed to be in a serious relationship with him, for what reason i have no idea. And technically we are. but I don't want to be. I don't know how to tell him
Well, unagree to a serious relationship. You are a wordsmith. You, of all people, should be able to express yourself concisely and with conviction to this young man. Look him in the eyes and tell him.

Thank you both.
I will the next time I see him

Please report back. :D

I will, I don't see him again until Monday, hopefully

Romance was so much simpler when I was your age. Why do you guys make it so complicated?

I have no idea WG

I have no idea WG
I think I know. We used to read comics books -- Uncle Scrooge, Archie, Superman, Little Lotta, Richie Rich -- and storybooks and book after book after book! All the characters had complicated lives in their families and work life and romances. We vicariously ached and cried and exalted with them.

I think that's how we got it out of our systems ("vicariously") and didn't have to go through a lot of it ourselves. When life happened to us, we were ready, because we knew what Nancy Drew had done or how Brenda Starr had handled it or how Uncle Scrooge had failed (and we knew how NOT to).

You guys need to read more.

EMOP. I'm thinkiing about my high school days again. Life was simpler back then.

I read a lot! And write!

You did good emop! I do believe you are growing up!

I read a lot! and write!

Personally, I think it's not the lack of reading or writing, I think it's technology.

Back in the day (boy does that make me feel old) we didn't have cell phones, texting, email, Facebook, MSN, any of that. If we wanted to talk to someone, we talked to them, either on the phone or in person.

People are missing that human connection, so when they finally get a live human to be interested in them, they grab hold, often way too quickly.

That's my take on it.

Very valid points Alty

Those were the good old days Alty and you are way younger than me. When I dated the big question was do you let a guy kiss you on the first date? Now it's do I have sex on the first date and I'm not referring to you little emop!

Those were the good old days Alty and you are way younger than me. When I dated the big question was do you let a guy kiss you on the first date? Now it's do I have sex on the first date and I'm not referring to you little emop!

Today's generation is oversexed and it disgusts me

At my school, it's "do you put out before or after you date"

It's just gross

I wish I was exaggerating

Today's generation is oversexed and it disgusts me

Some of these post are unreal. It's like nobody takes time to get to know each other.

It's like nobody takes time to get to know each other.
I've been home from work on sick leave and have watched TV for entertainment. (I'm not a TV watcher normally.) I've also caught up on newer movies out now on DVD. I firmly believe life is imitating art (art being, in this case, TV and movies). Monkey see, monkey do. And trust me, the visual media have really pushed the envelope! The emotional and social repercussions are deafening.

Romance was so much simpler when I was your age. Why do you guys make it so complicated?
Answer = "emo"

Answer = "emo"

Was that a crack at my name?

was that a crack at my name?
I know NK, and I'm guessing no.

You do realize, though, that your generation feeds on drama, and that's partly how that word "emo" got coined.

I've always wondered why you gave yourself that user name. It seemed to me like you were putting yourself down.

It was just a nickname I got from my x fiancé. I was always so sad all the time and have hair half over my face, so I'm called "emo" and he called me his princess. So I was his emo princess

I also listen to emotive hardcore music and wear the dark makeup and piercings and such. I also used to cut myself.

all of these started before I ever even heard the term "emo", but when I got into high school, that's what I was labeled as.

the emo redneck

Hey... We were all your age at one time in our life.I don't think anybody is trying put you down. It's hard being your age and going through things you have gone through!

I do believe little girl you are getting stronger and I hope you continue to do so! Hugs!

Awww thanks Kity.

Awww thanks Kity.

No thanks needed, you have given me some good advice on some very dark days.:)

I speak from the heart

Threads merged

I cheated on my boyfriend and I don't know how to tell him. I feel horrible, I honestly do. I'm usually not the "cheating type." I know how wrong it was of me. I am ashamed. But I can't keep it from him.

What happened to:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/2281869-post45.html
And
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/2281874-post46.html
??

I became a hypocrite

Is this with the werewolf boy? Emop, you are losing credibility by the second, you know that don't you?

I went against all of my own beliefs and morals. I feel horrible for it already. How do I tell him

What boyfriend?

Is this with the werewolf boy? Emop, you are losing credibility by the second, you know that don't you?
I have no problem calling people of inconsistencies regardless of reddies.

You are the cheating type if you cheated.

Take this from me, from my own experiences. Tell him. Tell him now and everything. Don't sugar coat things to save feelings. Just be honest and let him have time to heal. He will be angry, he may hate you and he may walk away. But you need to tell him. You need to take his reactions and deal with it. You were mature enough to cheat now face the consequences.

I thought it was a girl?

Is this with the werewolf boy? Emop, you are losing credibility by the second, you know that don't you?

Yes I realize that. And yes it was with him

You simply say "I was a horrible person and I cheated"

I thought you left him for an old girlfriend? What happened to her? Or maybe you should fill us in.

I thought he was "just a friend"??

Emop tell us what happened.
None of these relationships I have read about with you seem very secure or stable. Maybe you should take this as a sign to walk away and get to know yourself. Your talking of guys and girls and you don't seem to know what you want.

I haven't been "caught" in any stories because there's nothing to catch, I will admit I did wrong.

After my x fiancé, Cody, I began dating my x girlfriend Julia. I dumped her then a few days later a guy name Pat asked me out. I agreed. So Pat is currently my boyfriend

Emop tell us what happened.
None of these relationships I have read about with you seem very secure or stable. Maybe you should take this as a sign to walk away and get to know yourself. Your talking of guys and girls and you dont seem to know what you want.

I agree with you sunflower

So now your with a guy Pat. You cheated on Pat with who?

Maybe you should take a seat on the bench and stop playing the field so much. You're like a pinball bouncing to the next warm set of arms willing to hold you.

If you can't stand on your feet alone, you will never have a successful relationship

So now your with a guy Pat. You cheated on Pat with who?

My friend Nick

I haven't been "caught" in any stories

I beg to disagree. You've been caught using an alias to ask about a guy who told you he was a werewolf and you believed it. Sorry, Emop, we are trying to help you, but these stories are getting more ridiculous by the moment.

Is there anything else you have to tell us?

I believe this may a case of someone who relishes the attention they receive.

I beg to disagree. You've been caught using an alias to ask about a guy who told you he was a werewolf and you believed it. Sorry, Emop, we are trying to help you, but these stories are getting more ridiculous by the moment.

Is there anything else you have to tell us?

I admitted to that.


I believe this may a case of someone who relishes the attention they receive.

No it isn't

E-mop, this post is going to be harsh, but honestly, I think that's what you need right now.

You mentioned in another thread that you were just grounded for not finishing a school project on time, due to too many distractions at home.

Don't you think it would be a good idea to stop playing around with boys/girls and focus on your school work?

Boyfriends come and go, but your education is going to decide your future.

Stop playing games with yourself and other people and be a responsible adult.

E-mop, this post is going to be harsh, but honestly, I think that's what you need right now.

You mentioned in another thread that you were just grounded for not finishing a school project on time, due to too many distractions at home.

Don't you think it would be a good idea to stop playing around with boys/girls and focus on your school work?

Boyfriends come and go, but your education is going to decide your future.

Stop playing games with yourself and other people and be a responsible adult.

You are right Shaz

E-mop, this post is going to be harsh, but honestly, I think that's what you need right now.

You mentioned in another thread that you were just grounded for not finishing a school project on time, due to too many distractions at home.

Don't you think it would be a good idea to stop playing around with boys/girls and focus on your school work?

Boyfriends come and go, but your education is going to decide your future.

Stop playing games with yourself and other people and be a responsible adult.

Sadly this isn't harsh enough. Stop playing the field like you are first. How can you focus on things with so many partners or whatever you call them. I have only seen you on here a short time and you already mentioned three people. I am not even in these threads much either!

I have only seen you on here a short time and you already mentioned three people. I am not even in these threads much either!Here, you can catch up using this link:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search.php?do=finduser&u=708758&starteronly=1
Quite a variety.

Sadly this isnt harsh enough. Stop playing the field like you are first. How can you focus on things with so many partners or whatever you call them. I have only seen you on here a short time and you already mentioned three people. I am not even in these threads much either!

I don't like being alone. When I end it with one person, another usually jumps in...

Don't make the same mistake I did Emop.

I didn't take school seriously and after year 12 I got a low paying job in retail.
I planned on going back to school after a year of working but it just didn't happen.

I regret not studying hard enough, not doing all my homework and not getting the best grades I could have just because I didn't care at the time.
This might not be the case with you (not caring) but you just need to push hard and do your best, or else you will end up like me... 24 years old, no job and in debt, wishing her life were different.

Don't make the same mistake I did Emop.

I didn't take school seriously and after year 12 I got a low paying job in retail.
I planned on going back to school after a year of working but it just didn't happen.

I regret not studying hard enough, not doing all my homework and not getting the best grades I could have just because I didn't care at the time.
This might not be the case with you (not caring) but you just need to push hard and do your best, or else you will end up like me... 24 years old, no job and in debt, wishing her life were different.

I know shaz, so many people tell me the same thing

Here, you can catch up using this link:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search.php?do=finduser&u=708758&starteronly=1
Quite a variety.

Wow

Here, you can catch up using this link:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search.php?do=finduser&u=708758&starteronly=1
Quite a variety.

What is your point?

what is your point?Did I do something wrong?

I know shaz, so many people tell me the same thing

Its true and you need to listen. Sadly school is important and it is serious. Don't worry about being alone. That should be the least of your concerns right now. You have your entire life to find someone special. Would you rather keep jumping around to people so your not alone and get a reputation? Then when your mature and ready to find that someone no one will take you serious. The only guys/girls left who will want you will know your for your reputation.

Leave Pat if he isn't what you wanted. Take time for yourself. Get to know Emop.

Its true and you need to listen. Sadly school is important and it is serious. Dont worry about being alone. That should be the least of your concerns right now. You have your entire life to find someone special. Would you rather keep jumping around to people so your not alone and get a reputation? Then when your mature and ready to find that someone no one will take you serious. The only guys/girls left who will want you will know your for your reputation.

Leave Pat if he isnt what you wanted. Take time for yourself. Get to know Emop.

True, I don't want a reputation...

True, I don't want a reputation...

Then put a stop to it now. You can do it. Someone is always here to talk if you don't want to be alone. Turn to us.

But most important you need to get the truth out to him first.

Then put a stop to it now. You can do it. Someone is always here to talk if you dont want to be alone. Turn to us.

But most important you need to get the truth out to him first.

I can't talk to him at all until tomorrow at school. But I will put an end to this.

Good luck and take care.

Good luck and take care.


Thank you

Thank you

You did the right thing emop. I'm proud of you! You are going to be a fine adult. Bless You!:)

You did the right thing emop. I'm proud of you! You are going to be a fine adult. Bless You!:)
You noticed how smart she is and what a good writer she is, didn't you? The world is going to be okay as long as emop is in it.

You noticed how smart she is and what a good writer she is, didn't you? The world is going to be okay as long as emop is in it.

Don't be so sure of that WG.

I did something unforgivable

Read your own signature, and get over yourself.

Self pity doesn't play well at all.

I did something unforgivable
We've worked through that. I thought you forgave yourself. Apparently not. The only one who hasn't forgiven yourself is you.

You want to wallow in self-pity the rest of your life?

We've worked through that. I thought you forgave yourself. Apparently not. The only one who hasn't forgiven yourself is you.

You want to wallow in self-pity the rest of your life?

I did something else WG, I cheated on my boyfriend

I did something else WG, I cheated on my boyfriend
And you'll do it again?

Emop

Okay this may be harsh also but sometimes you got to be cruel to be kind as they say.

You know it's pretty obvious to most of us that your whole lifestyle is unstable , that is that you flitter between relationships like their hot meals , once ones finished you start looking for another one. That's not healthy and considering your past its going to stay a never ending cycle unless YOU really want to do something about it.

End it with this Pat fellow as all he's after is Sex , so is Werewolf boy :rolleyes: and any other person you seem to get close to.

Then from now on DO NOT go out with anybody who isn't willing to be with you without the Sex , that way yo may actually find someone who likes you for just YOU and not your Hoo Hoo.

Do you really want the reputation of being easy , because that's what's happening and only you can fix it by either being single and happy for a while , or if you are going to have a partner choose one that doesn't need anything more than friendship at the beginning.



BTW... there is no such thing as a werewolf unless you go to the movies , so listen to what everyone else has told you about that not only here but over on the other threads.

Me and Pat don't have sex, we kiss. I think I said that earlier in the post...

You all are right though... I'm changing relationships as often as I change my socks, exaggeration but still.


And you'll do it again?

O GODS NO!
Of course not

O GODS NO!
Of course not
Then forgive yourself and move forward.

Then forgive yourself and move forward.

Okay WG

Okay WG

Emop what are we going to do with you? Sweetie don't confuse sex with love! Someday when you meet the right person, and he is a wonderful guy are you going to tell him about these episodes. You are too good for this. You are worth something. You're talented and we all want the best for you. Stop this! :confused:

emop what are we going to do with you? Sweetie don't confuse sex with love! Someday when you meet the right person, and he is a wonderful guy are you going to tell him about these episodes. You are too good for this. You are worth something. You're talented and we all want the best for you. Stop this! :confused:

I agree, they're easy to confuse, most of us have confused them at one point or another. Sex is a special thing, unfortunately society doesn't value the meaning of it as highly anymore.

So... Emop... How are things going?

So... Emop.... How are things going?

EMOP.. come back and talk to us. We are trying to guide you in the right direction. Don't make me worry about you anymore than I do. Keep posting and stop what you are doing. Every time you start doing really well, you seem to shoot yourself in the foot. Let us know how you are!

Okay I guess... Going back to the doc soon... counselor thinks I may have schizophrenia

Okay I guess... Going back to the doc soon... counselor thinks I may have schizophrenia

Good, I'm glad you're okay! Are you going to do what the doctor says?

Good, I'm glad you're okay! Are you going to do what the doctor says?

Yes, I can't stand being whatever I am right now. According to my friends, when under too much stress, I am literally a different person

yes, I can't stand being whatever I am right now. According to my friends, when under too much stress, I am literally a different person

You are you. But go see wwhat the Doc says. Okay?

You are you. But go see wwhat the Doc says. Okay?

The doctor is going to say, "meds meds meds" then mum'll say "no no no"

The doctor is going to say, "meds meds meds" then mum'll say "no no no"

Why would she do that!

Why would she do that!

I've been on depression meds for over a year. Then about a month and a half ago, the doctor dropped my meds because my mum said so

I've been on depression meds for over a year. then about a month and a half ago, the doctor dropped my meds because my mum said so

It should be up to the doctor! Isn't seventeen a legal age to make decisions for yourself!:)

It should be up to the doctor! Isn't seventeen a legal age to make decisions for yourself!:)

I thought that was 18

i thought that was 18

Ask one of the attorneys here!

Ask one of the attorneys here!

I will

I will

Behave yourself. You have people here who care about you! You need to start caring about yourself.:(

Behave yourself. You have people here who care about you! You need to start caring about yourself.:(

I did, then I stopped, now I do again

I did, then I stopped, now I do again




Little girl you are funny when you don't intend to be:D

Little girl you are funny when you don't intend to be:D

Or you are just laughing at my time-share pain

Haha

or you are just laughing at my time-share pain

haha

NO I promise, but you do say things that crack me up!

NO I promise, but you do say things that crack me up!

I'm glad.

Most people say I have a cynical sense of humor. I talk about such horrid things as if they're nothing and make understatements

I'm glad.

most people say I have a cynical sense of humor. I talk about such horrid things as if they're nothing and make understatements

Talk about positive things, like your love of music and your love of writing.

Talk about positive things, like your love of music and your love of writing.

I love writing... It makes me feel powerful and in control.

I love writing.... It makes me feel powerful and in control.

It can have that effect. I should do it more often so I don't blow up at my boyfriend when I get emotional. Poor guy has taken a lot of crap from me. Writing helps me see what I'm feeling. Because when I'm writing it I let everything out, after I read it the next day or something, I see things differently. Keep at it if you can, it's good for you. :)

It can have that effect. I should do it more often so i don't blow up at my boyfriend when i get emotional. Poor guy has taken a lot of crap from me. Writing helps me see what i'm feeling. Because when I'm writing it I let everything out, after i read it the next day or something, i see things differently. Keep at it if you can, it's good for you. :)

Yeah, I'm reading some of my old old stuff... wow. Such twisted agony I was in

yeah, I'm reading some of my old old stuff.... wow. such twisted agony I was in

It's hard to believe that you were that person once. It's a strange feeling. But keep writing, you need to. :)

it's hard to believe that you were that person once. it's a strange feeling. but keep writing, you need to. :)

I found tons of old things, so sad, twisted. Some full of love and hope

I found tons of old things, so sad, twisted. some full of love and hope

It's a good way of venting emop. ;)

It's a good way of venting emop. ;)

It is

It is

Be proud of your writing. It's part of you!:)

Be proud of your writing. It's part of you!:)

I'm proud of a few. Such as "Capitalists" and "Dreamless Isolation"

I'm proud of a few. such as "Capitalists" and "Dreamless Isolation"

You should enter them in an essay contest or let WG look at them. She's great and she could tell you where you might get them published!

You should enter them in an essay contest or let WG look at them. She's great and she could tell you where you might get them published!

"Capitalists" was going to be published. But Dad didn't let me send in my Artist's proof

"Capitalists" was going to be published. But Dad didn't let me send in my Artist's proof

Sorry EMOP!:(

Sorry EMOP!:(

Would you like to read it?

Would you like to read it?

Sure... PM it to me and I would love to read it! Or if your allowed post it here!

Sure...PM it to me and I would love to read it! Or if your allowed post it here!

I PMd you

I PMd you

I pmd you back. Don't waste that talent! You are a very good writer. I mean you write like someone much older. God gave you that gift. He gave you a talent! Don't you waste it!:)

I pmd you back. Don't waste that talent! You are a very good writer. I mean you write like someone much older. God gave you that gift. He gave you a talent! Don't you waste it!:)

Thank you Kity, If you would like to check out my other works, I have a blog that hasn't been updated for a long while, but has a bunch of my works on it

I can tell by your posts that you have an excellent writing style.

When I was in my early teens, my tween hood as I call it, I loved to write. I was into that gothic/rock/punk scene. We used to go to shows, and I even wrote some lyrics for my friends band. It was a great out let. I also suffered from depression.

When I got into my later teens and early twenties, I had this block, I just couldn't write anymore, couldn't express myself, didn't have the patience to write how I was feeling. I turned to film making. I loved it, it was the best outlet ever. If I can ever figure out how to turn VHS into DVD, then I will months def put it on you tube and share with you Emop.

I hope you get stuff figured out. It can't be fun going through what you are going through. Just take it one day at a time. But don't forget to have fun. Or else you'll end up like me, 26 in job that you hate, and by yourself! Life is so short, you, you, cliché, I know. But there is so much truth in it. Before you know high school will be over, and the real world begins.

I can tell by your posts that you have an excellent writing style.

When I was in my early teens, my tween hood as I call it, I loved to write. I was into that gothic/rock/punk scene. We used to go to shows, and I even wrote some lyrics for my friends band. It was a great out let. I also suffered from depression.

When I got into my later teens and early twenties, I had this block, I just couldn't write anymore, couldn't express myself, didn't have the patience to write how I was feeling. I turned to film making. I loved it, it was the best outlet ever. If I can ever figure out how to turn VHS into DVD, then I will mos def put it on you tube and share with you Emop.

I hope you get stuff figured out. It can't be fun going through what you are going through. Just take it one day at a time. But don't forget to have fun. Or else you'll end up like me, 26 in job that you hate, and by yourself! Life is so short, ya, ya, cliché, I know. But there is so much truth in it. before you know high school will be over, and the real world begins.

Thanks Aurora

Thanks Aurora

Keep up the writing! :):)

Keep up the writing!!:):)

I will

My boyfriend just dumped me. He thought I was cheating on him when I wasn't. I just don't know what to do..

I am sorry Emop. Break ups are hard to get through sometimes, but have you asked yourself if it was right or if it is best that it is over? I am not trying to give you bad advice or anything. Have you talked to him about it or was there no reasoning with him?

My condolences EP. So what were his reasons behind this? How did the talk go? I am curious as to his side of the story.

He just dumped me over Facebook, I didn't even get to talk to him. I hang out with a lot of guys because they are easier to get along with than girls. Someone told him I was cheating with my one friend and he believed them. He just said "I love you very much but you are using me and Nick can have you I don't care"

I cheated once many months ago, no one knew about that and that was the first time we dated.

But he thinks I'm out having sex with guys all the time when I'm not.

I'm hysterical at the moment. I just don't know what to do. I can't talk to him or anything because he won't answer the phone.


I am sorry Emop. Break ups are hard to get through sometimes, but have you asked yourself if it was right or if it is best that it is over? I am not trying to give you bad advice or anything. Have you talked to him about it or was there no reasoning with him?

I thought that it was a great relationship. I don't know if it's best that it's over I honestly can't think straight right now

He isn't thinking straight right now either. Give him some time to cool off and think about things rationally. Yes, the waiting sucks but what both of you need is a long, deep breath. He obviously is still swirling over the previous cheating incident and that isn't easy to forget.

Take some alone time to think about things and know we are here to help you with every thing that you need. He sounds a bit childish the way he did things. Now I don't know how old you are but he did seem childish in the way he said things and especially the way he broke up with you.

Take some alone time to think about things and know we are here to help you with every thing that you need. He sounds a bit childish the way he did things. Now I don't know how old you are but he did seem childish in the way he said things and especially the way he broke up with you.

Almost 18


He isn't thinking straight right now either. Give him some time to cool off and think about things rationally. Yes, the waiting sucks but what both of you need is a long, deep breath. He obviously is still swirling over the previous cheating incident and that isn't easy to forget.

He didn't know about it

Emop, has he at any time asked you about the rumors what he was told or is he just now bringing them up?

Quite frankly, (and this is colored by a friend of my children's going through close to the same thing) I am tired of people believing rumors instead of discussing and finding out the truth. It is almost like they are looking for an excuse to get upset and dump the person.

Were there any other things going on in the relationship that were red flags? I think there are probably more things going on than maybe you know about.

If he hasn't wanted to talk to you and work things out, then I say go NC and delete ALL of his contact information including FaceBook, MySpace, phone number, and twitter. It is up to him to get in touch with you. If it is a mistake, it happened on his end of the FaceBook communication. He should be the one to clear it up.

Advice that doesn't change is to get out and get active. Meet people and do new things. This time, give yourself time to fully heal before you get involved with someone new. You have come a long way from the person who first joined us months ago. Don't let this cause you to go back to old habits.

We're here for you. :)

Emop, has he at any time asked you about the rumors what what he was told or is he just now bringing them up?

Quite frankly, (and this is colored by a friend of my children's going through close to the same thing) I am tired of people believing rumors instead of discussing and finding out the truth. It is almost like they are looking for an excuse to get upset and dump the person.

Were there any other things going on in the relationship that were red flags? I think there are probably more things going on than maybe you know about.

If he hasn't wanted to talk to you and work things out, then I say go NC and delete ALL of his contact information including FaceBook, MySpace, phone number, and twitter. It is up to him to get in touch with you. If it is a mistake, it happened on his end of the FaceBook communication. He should be the one to clear it up.

Advice that doesn't change is to get out and get active. Meet people and do new things. This time, give yourself time to fully heal before you get involved with someone new. You have come a long way from the person who first joined us months ago. Don't let this cause you to go back to old habits.

We're here for you. :)

Thanks Cat
He didn't ask me about it at all.
He was saying before that he wasn't good enough for me..

Wasn't it you that said you were thinking you were to good for him anyway? Sorry if I am wrong.

Wasn't it you that said you were thinking you were to good for him anyway? Sorry if I am wrong.

No he said I was too good for him

The fact he dumped you on someone else's word with no input from you is a red flag. A pretty big one I think.
It shows no trust or respect for you. These are essential parts of a relationship.

NC may be what you need to do while you take the time to consider if this is something you can overcome. I'm afraid obstacles of this magnitude may never stop haunting you.

If he acted out of anger to something he was told by a third party , or acted because he was hurt and didn't think , and he really cares for you, he will be doing everything possible to find you and apologize after some cooling off and time to think.

If not then it shows shallowness , thoughtlessness , and lack of trust and respect. Or other issues he may have. But to handle it like he did should be a cause of great concern.

no he said I was too good for him

I am starting to believe that is code for: I don't think I belong in this relationship. Kick me to the curb so that I can blame you for the break up instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and emotions.

I guess he has proved that he doesn't deserve you.

I am starting to believe that is code for: I don't think I belong in this relationship. Kick me to the curb so that I can blame you for the break up instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and emotions.

I guess he has proved that he doesn't deserve you.

I really thought he loved me... My friend thinks he accused me of cheating just to blame me

I agree that this is a red flag. I mean, the relationship may have been great, but there's no trust? Please, if my girlfriend believed every rumor that were spread about me, and believe me, there are QUITE a bit of rumors, then I'd be locked up in solitary confinement.

Trust is a HUGE deal in a relationship... it's one of those make/break things.

I am starting to believe that is code for: I don't think I belong in this relationship. Kick me to the curb so that I can blame you for the break up instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and emotions.

I guess he has proved that he doesn't deserve you.

Very well stated and true in every instance I can recall where it has been brought up.

I agree that this is a red flag. I mean, the relationship may have been great, but there's no trust? Please, if my girlfriend believed every rumor that were spread about me, and believe me, there are QUITE a bit of rumors, then I'd be locked up in solitary confinement.

Trust is a HUGE deal in a relationship...it's one of those make/break things.

True Sneezy

I was wrong in what I read. On Tuesday you said you were having relationship problems and Pat is amazing but is convinced that you are to good for him.

That is were I got that and I am sorry for the mix up.

I was wrong in what I read. On Tuesday you said you were having relationship problems and Pat is amazing but is convinced that you are to good for him.

That is were I got that and I am sorry for the mix up.

That;'s all right, very easy mix up

I want him back, I know it may not be the best thing, but I do

Give it some time. See if he messages you on Facebook. He may be hurting too. And it's hard when you're that age (or any age for that mater) to have all those people whispering in his ear.

But I have to say, with him saying you are too good for him, it kind of sounds like he was looking for an easy out.

Give it some time. See if he messages you on facebook. He may be hurting too. And it's hard when you're that age (or any age for that mater) to have all those people whispering in his ear.

But I have to say, with him saying you are too good for him, it kind of sounds like he was looking for an easy out.

What I don't understand is how one goes from wanting to impregnate and marry a girl to not wanting her at all...

It just shows is maturity level. Good thing you didn't get pregnant.

I want him back, I know it may not be the best thing, but I do

Emop, months ago you wanted to let someone control your life. You tried convincing us that was how you wanted your future. Do you want to be in relationship with someone who doesn't trust you? Do you see a future with someone who listens more to rumors and his own imagination than he does you?

Seems to me he cares more about rumors than you and that is not a good foundation for a strong relationship.

It just shows is maturity level. Good thing you didn't get pregnant.

I have a confession... I didn't tell anyone in case this happened, I was pregnant and miscarried. I was two months along until a week or two ago, I forget.. I lose track of time

emop, months ago you wanted to let someone control your life. You tried convincing us that was how you wanted your future. Do you want to be in relationship with someone who doesn't trust you? Do you see a future with someone who listens more to rumors and his own imagination than he does you?

Seems to me he cares more about rumors than you and that is not a good foundation for a strong relationship.

Very true Cat, I'm just so hurt right now..

Emop, do you see why that would not have been a good thing? You would have been fighting him with paternity and potentially raising a kid on your own at 18. I hope you have learned something from all of this. I am not going to give you the lecture, I have given it to you once before. Time to take some time for you, and decide what you want from your life.

Emop, do you see why that would not have been a good thing? You would have been fighting him with paternity and potentially raising a kid on your own at 18. I hope you have learned something from all of this. I am not going to give you the lecture, I have given it to you once before. Time to take some time for you, and decide what you want from your life.

I know I know, I was stupid and caught up in the moment...

Very true Cat, I'm just so hurt right now..

I know you are hurting. I know that your life is about as messed up as it can get. Boyfriends and babies won't make it any better.

I think you need to talk to your therapist (if you are still seeing one). Get some ranting and raving off your chest with someone who can hold your hand and offer a real tissue to dry your tears.

You need to get out your feelings about the miscarriage, too. It is not something to bury your feelings about.

I know you are hurting. I know that your life is about as messed up as it can get. Boyfriends and babies won't make it any better.

I think you need to talk to your therapist (if you are still seeing one). Get some ranting and raving off your chest with someone who can hold your hand and offer a real tissue to dry your tears.

You need to get out your feelings about the miscarriage, too. It is not something to bury your feelings about.

I don't see one anymore

And as for the miscarriage, I have no idea... I mean the night before I miscarried, I had a dream about my baby... It was so real. And then the next day, I gush blood out and I took a test a week or so later that said I wasn't pregnant. It's confusing.. I mean while I was pregnant, Pat would always hold my belly telling me how excited he was and everything. And then when I miscarried, that's about when everything fell apart

I don't see one anymore

and as for the miscarriage, I have no idea... I mean the night before I miscarried, I had a dream about my baby... It was so real. and then the next day, I gush blood out and I took a test a week or so later that said I wasn't pregnant. It's confusing.. I mean while I was pregnant, Pat would always hold my belly telling me how excited he was and everything. And then when I miscarried, that's about when everything fell apart

Have you been to a doctor? If not, you need to see a doctor. You need to make sure that everything is okay and determine if you really were pregnant and that everything came out if you did miscarry. You do not need more medical problems.

Miscarriages are hard on both people. It takes a very strong relationship to survive one.

Have you been to a doctor? If not, you need to see a doctor. You need to make sure that everything is okay and determine if you really were pregnant and that everything came out if you did miscarry. You do not need more medical problems.

Miscarriages are hard on both people. It takes a very strong relationship to survive one.

I will soon, when I go to get my depo shot

Yeah, I remember it was when he was away for a week and he cried... a lot

I will soon, when I go to get my depo shot

Yeah, I remember it was when he was away for a week and he cried... a lot

When do you get your shot? I don't want you ending up with a preventable infection because you left seeing a doctor too long.

When do you get your shot? I don't want you ending up with a preventable infection because you left seeing a doctor too long.

Any day before the 15th

My mum is calling to make the appointment

any day before the 15th

My mum is calling to make the appointment




I'm sorry emop! I really am.

any day before the 15th

My mum is calling to make the appointment

Good. I hope everything checks out okay.:)

I hope so too
Thanki you all by the way

You did right, and he will maybe mull over it for a day or so, but I think he will be back, he cannot fault you for being honest, that's not a crime, so I wouldn't worry too much, Im sure he will be back.

You did right, and he will maybe mull over it for a day or so, but I think he will be back, he cannot fault you for being honest, thats not a crime, so I wouldnt worry too much, Im sure he will be back.

Positiveparent, the main thread isn't the problem anymore. He dumped me...

OOOppppsss sorry

Positiveparent, the main thread isn't the problem anymore. He dumped me....

Does this bother you or are you able to move on with your life now?

Im sorry to hear you lost your baby, I know how hard that can be to come to terms with.

Does this bother you or are you able to move on with your life now??

I'm devastated, he accused me of cheating when I didn't and broke up with me over Facebook

I am sorry, that's such a callous and unkind way of conducting himself.

Is this the same b/f that was forever saying he loved you?

Men!!

I am sorry, thats such a callous and unkind way of conducting himself.

Is this the same b/f that was forever saying he loved you??

Men!!!

Yes, he was also trying to get me pregnant and we had things set up to move in together. He was buying me a ring to propose and everything

Small consolation I know but you're better off without someone who can be that shallow although I do feel your pain..

Small consolation I know but youre better off without someone who can be that shallow although I do feel your pain..

Thanks

Life will go on and you will love again and have children, and with someone who loves you for who you are and won't betray you or hurt you like this ex b/f has, in time you'll heal, its hard and hurts like hell. I do know how you must be feeling.

Im so sorry this has happened to you..

Life will go on and you will love again and have children, and with someone who loves you for who you are and wont betray you or hurt you like this ex b/f has, in time youll heal, its hard and hurts like hell. I do know how you must be feeling.

Im so sorry this has happened to you..

It isn't the first time... I was engaged before..

Thank you Positiveparent...

I know right now you probably feel you don't ever want anything to do with men again, and I can't say I blame you.

However there are some good men out there, and you will find one who is right for you, even if you don't think that right now, it will happen, you need to fully heal from these past experiences and one day when you least expect it someone will walk into your life and bingo.

When that happens all these hurts you feel will fade away, and you'll be looking forwards again.

Please try to get some counselling over the baby..

I wish you all the love and luck, and I hope this will soon pass.

I know right now you probably feel you dont ever want anything to do with men again, and I can't say I blame you.

However there are some good men out there, and you will find one who is right for you, even if you dont think that right now, it will happen, you need to fully heal from these past experiences and one day when you least expect it someone will walk into your life and bingo.

When that happens all these hurts you feel will fade away, and youll be looking forwards again.

Please try to get some counselling over the baby..

I wish you all the love and luck, and I hope this will soon pass.

I know I just wish the hurt would go away soon...

Worst of all, I want him back

I wish I could tell you it won't hurt for long, but if I did I would be lying to you, it will hurt for a while, but in time as you slowly move on with your life each day it will get easier to bear.

If you feel like crying then do so, you've a lot to cry over, and crying will help get it out.

Go to a field or somewhere isolated and scream, call him all the names under the sun and that too will help.

You may feel you want him back now, but as you begin to heal those thoughts will also lessen, he wasn't right for you or even worthy of you.

He`ll get his comeuppance one day, what goes around comes around.

You will heal though time is a great healer, and it may seem slow and to take forever but everyday you let yourself heal means a day less of thinking about him and what might have been.

You have a future to look forward to and it will be a better time for you than has been so far, you will heal.

I assure you of that, Time unfortunately doesn't stand still for a broken heart, and as I said above you will heal. You really will. Ill send you positive healing vibes they may help. I hope so...

He just messaged me again and apologized for being so stupid. We are together again and he's coming over to talk

He just messaged me again and apologized for being so stupid. We are together again and he's coming over to talk

No, you are not back together until you sit down and begin work on the issues. Get everything out on the table and figure out what needs fixing and agree on a way to fix it. Start with TRUST. His trust in you and your trust that this won't happen again.

You are still going back on birth control. There will be no more talk of having children until the relationship matures to the point where a rumor doesn't cause this much upset.

Your Mama Cat has spoken. :) :)

He just messaged me again and apologized for being so stupid. We are together again and he's coming over to talk

Be careful, and if you do go back with him then you do need to resolve the issue about him claiming you had cheated. It could be that its him who has cheated, you also need to make it known you're not about to tolerate being treated unfairly, if you don't he will just keep doing as he has done.

Be careful, and if you do go back with him then you do need to resolve the issue about him claiming you had cheated. It could be that its him who has cheated, you also need to make it known youre not about to tolerate being treated unfairly, if you dont he will just keep doing as he has done.

Thanks Positiveparent, you make really good points